Looking For Barack Obama’s Love Child And Missing Brother
BREAKING news in the National Enquirer of “OBAMA LOVE CHILD SCANDAL”.
Cynics and afficiandos of tabloid news, such as we are, wonder if the story is:
“Goat born out of wedlock in Japanese city of Obama”
“Barack Obama is Not a love child”
“Claude Obama III, of Wisconsin, has had love child and named it…BARACK”
Inside the magazine, and the news is: “HUNT FOR OBAMA’S SECRET LOVE CHILD.”
Indeed, if any hack can find a child Barack Obama has fathered thanks to an extra-marital affair, or a romance before he met his Michelle, it would be big news.
As yet, no-one has found the child. But they ARE looking.
The Enquirer says a “team of crack investigators is trying to ferret out proof Barack Obama is hiding a secret love child, sources reveal.”
Other sources tell Anorak that investigators are also looking for:
Evidence that Obama was born in Moscow
A secret Bible code that tells the Coming of Obama
A strange African dialect in which the words Barack Obama translates as “Satan walks among us”
Obama’s twin brother Neville, believed to be a leader of the Fathers so the Aryan Sisterhood, a cross-dressing white supremisist cult based in the Austrian Alps
Rest assured, when we find it, you’ll know… This is gonna be sen-say-shon-elle!
Posted: 5th, August 2008 | In: Barack Obama, National Enquirer, Politicians, Race For The White House Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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September 25th, 2008 at 7:46 am
An interesting twist to this story… George Bush even said that what was at stake right now was the determination of the control of the world for the next 1000 years… he, of course was referring to the battle between th eanti-Christ and the son of man…
So I just happened to notice this in your online edition:
A strange African dialect in which the words Barack Obama translates as “Satan walks among us”
You’ll want to read this…
http://www.charlesrehn.com/charlesrehn/books/aconversationwithamerica/talkbacktoleaders/marianwrightedelman.htm
Have fun with this… it’s all true… and more :} But this will get you started…
Chuck
PS: This is a very private email eddress. Do not give it out. Thanks
August 16th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Oh for crying out loud…you’re making fun of tabloids, and YOU SCREW THE STORY UP yourself!
What poster children you are for sloppy reportage!
Listen up, fools: The National Enquirer is the tabloid that ACCURATELY reported about John Edwards’ dalliances, Scott Petersen’s affair, and OJ Simpson’s “ugly ass” Bruno Magli shoes. They freely PAY for material, but they also source it to death.
Your “Obama Love Child” snark is from the GLOBE. The GLOBE is a crappy tabloid that makes stuff up.
When “OBAMA LOVE CHILD” appears in the ENQUIRER, you can take it to the bank. They don’t play around. They are not the same paper that Carol Burnett sued decades ago–they’re salacious, they’re sleazy, they BUY information….but they are ACCURATE.
And they cover the stuff that the so-called mainstream (read, frightened, overly cautious and irrelevant) media fear to touch, for fear of losing something called “access.”
August 14th, 2008 at 11:22 am
Hey Satan does walk among us in the Form of Barecko Obamo!! I do believe he has a love child somewhere, and the Good Lord will reveal that to us, very, very soon, for that which is hidden will be revealed, and that which is uncovered, ” Shout it from the Rooftops!!
August 9th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Funny, I saw the enquirer on the news stand today and that was on the front page….
August 9th, 2008 at 7:09 am
Get your facts straight - a simple Google search will do. Its the Globe, not the National Enquirer, who is playing up the Obama love child story. The Globe doesn’t have 10% of the credibiilty for investigative reporting of the Enquirer and the story itself is a puff piece. It merely alleges that unnamed Obama opponents are offering $1 million for information proving the existance of such a child. In other words, a smear dressed up as a fishing expedition.
August 6th, 2008 at 3:01 am
If anybody does know anything about anything like this to do with anything about Obama or anything - please will you save it up until the week before the elections.
Thanks.
Don’t drag it up now - coz the Yanks can have short memories and it will be forgotten by then lol.
August 5th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
There just has GOT to be a love child….
August 5th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
crack investigators………..sponsored by Pollyfila, you find ‘em, they investigate ‘em, we fill ‘em