Celebrity Quote Of The Day: Jennifer Lopez Picks Out A Shirt
SAYS Jennifer Lopez, aka Jenny Who Owns The Block, of life with her husband Marc Anthony:
“I said, ‘I did the superwoman thing, I finished the tour – now I need you to take care of me. I love doing things for you; if I’m not cooking, then I’m picking out a shirt. But this is the first time in my life where I’m just going to be a little bit selfish.” - Elle
The help must be in awe…
September 5th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
“Why, man, she doth bestride the narrow world
Like a Colossus; and we petty men
Walk under her huge legs, and peep about…”
Oh, knackers…that was Cassius, not Mark Ant(h)ony.
I’d still put my money on General Zod over J-Lo though, even with her super-booty powers.
September 5th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
But can you be sure that General Zod would be immune to J-Lo’s charms?
Behind every galactic warlord’s throne…
September 5th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
He’d accidentally mar her unnatural looks while lighting a candle with his heatvision at a post-seduction dinner date. She’d screech “Nooooo, my beautiful plastic face!”, reveal that she now resembles Rocky Dennis from the Cher film ‘Mask’ and Zod would be back in the arms of dowdy but reliable Mrs. Zod in a heartbeat, kryptonite rolling pin or not.
September 5th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Stranger things have happened; my own theory as to the disappearance of Madeleine took quite some time to formulate.
It seemed clear that little grey aliens from the planet Splog were in the vicinity, but the obvious stumbling stock was that they are all, man, woman and beeblugs, committed vegetarians.
It was only when I realised that they are all, man, woman and beeblugs, committed culture vultures of the deepest hue that light dawned.
Proust has a lot to answer for, and the editors of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy will forever rue the day when they failed to make clear that Madeleines are not invariably small cakes…
September 5th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Sound. More sound than the ravings and raging wars that prevent me from posting on Anorak’s Maddie threads. Also, nice rebound off the goalkeeper to blast a banana shot from the world of literature into the goalmouth of comedy. I got a months free subscription to The Spectator, can you tell?
September 5th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Magnetite, you are GENIUS. I know size isn’t supposed to matter, but have you by any chance written anything longer than a forum post?
September 5th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
I bet this comes back to bite me in the arse. Above name clickable for one time only, weather permitting. No refunds. Management reserves right to slope off in a suicidal funk if cornered.
September 5th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Also as I am keenly aware, I talk utter claptrap 94% of the time, so I’m naturally wary of anyone who agrees with me. Your mileage may vary.
September 5th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
O.M.G.
September 5th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
Is that an ominous rumbling I hear? best part is, dur the the excessively Rabelaisian nature of that last post, your returning statement may not be a knowing nod. if someone tells me how to make a ‘DIGG THIS’ link, I’ll be able to stop tarnishing Anorak readers lovely eyes with my feeble scribblings on Blogger.