Shane Richie Shows Us His Lolita Blue Range Of Mucus
SHANE Richie is cradling his newborn daughter Lolita Belle.
She goes with his son who goes by the name Mackenzie Blue.
Why Shane Richie names his children after ranges Laura Ashley pelmet fabrics we never discover in the course of his interview in Hello!. But there is more to learn.
And matters quickly run to the issue of sex.
We already know that Shane has called his daughter Lolita, which turns out to be a range of children’s bedroom furniture.
Shane says he’s going to be really strict with Lolita and, “I pity the poor boys who knock on the door when she’s a teenager because they won’t get past.”
He then says he wants Lolita “to experience everything that life has to offer”.
Shane seems a tad confused. He wants Lolita to try it all but not to try it all. And what more of her name?
Christine, mother to Blue and Belle, wanted to call Lolita Lolani or Lulani, “but I thought they sounded like a Page Three model from the 1970s”.
Better to call her Lolita, then, after another literary masterpiece.
Says Christine:
“With hindsight, there was always going to be a bit of a backlash with Shane naming a daughter Lolita because of his reputation with women before he met me, but it’s not something to worry about.”
Hold the front page! What link between a young girl having sex with an older man in a work of fiction and Shane Richie’s romantic endeavours?
Christine does not go on, but prefers to tell us about her post-natal depression, how she’s living at her mum and dad’s house, and Lolita’s “dusky episode”, when she got a bout of trapped mucus…

September 10th, 2008 at 11:11 am
OK, Nabakov, put Shane down; I understand and sympathise, and if I were in your shroud I’d feel the same way.
But get back in your coffin, please, before I have to dial NecromancersAreUs.
Their call-out rates make plumbers die of envy…
September 10th, 2008 at 11:16 am
This what happens when pretentious Tossers get a few quid. They think they have to mirror all the other idiots who saddle their kids with stupid names for the rest of their lives.
September 10th, 2008 at 11:50 am
does the silly cow really think that people care about Shane’s past shags….??
September 10th, 2008 at 11:50 am
Now now, Saul. My two mini-me’s - Lambent Flame and Cotillion Fishpaste are quite happy with their names. Ah! Here they come now with another cup of tea for their dear dad. Thanks, kids. I wonder why the cuppas they make for me always taste of almonds? Never happens when I make one.
September 10th, 2008 at 11:50 am
…I feel sorry for the kid - she will hate them when she is older….