Jordan and PAPA Polish Up In Love Affirmation Ceremony

AFTER the TV show, Jordan is “finally” responding to the clamour and will tell OK! readers about her marriage.

Or what there was of it. Says Jordan of her romance with pop acorn Peter Andre (PAPA): “WHY I WALKED OUT ON PETE.” She is showing readers her clean hand, and muscular naked ring finger. “It looks like I’ll be a single mum.”

Jordan gets the photo spread and the kids, and PAPA gets to wax his back, crack and sack on daytime telly.

But hold on. It’s all wrong. The truth is “very different”.

Jordan and PAPA are very much in love. They were to renew their vows but decided instead for a “love affirmation ceremony”. This involves Peter standing on a slice of wedding cake waiting for Jordan to pick him up, attach him to a Swarovski crystal chain and tuck him into her cleavage.

So why not renew those vows, the pledge to “keep Pete in Pledge and all manner of furniture polish and wood shine”; and his vow to “use the polish”.

Says Jordan:

“To me it’s the same thing, really… We’re reigniting our love.”

It’s like rubbing a limp of wood against a balloon and creating a spark. And it’s a low key affair, far away from it all in South Africa, with just a camera crew, photographer, make-up artiste, sack depilator, sprayologist and toxicologist.

What else? Says Jordan:

“We did something different with rings.” She plaited one from leather, and Peter presented the lead depilator with a challenge not seen since King Kong wore a mankini.

Also Peter has her name tattooed on his ginger - “So I’m with him every day.” And when he raises his middle finger, it is as a tribute to their love.

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Anorak

Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Jordan and Peter Andre, Magazines, OK! | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0