Strange News, Politics, Sport, and Celebrity on the Anorak
Splash News on Michael Jackson’s death - “It’s like the FA Cup final”
NO Maddie. No Diana. No blondes. So it’s fruit and veg…
A week is a long time in fruit and veg…
Posted: 3rd, November 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Media | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Sewer Skewer: Man Cooks Kebab By Dead Body
“CARRY on cooking: Chef made kebabs as body of dead colleague lay on sofa.” So says the Mail. It is the Sun’s “Goner Kebab”.
And what of Jaswinder Singh? Is he billed in the tabloids as a consciencious worker, one in the eye for workshy shirkers? Is he a man planning ahead, going long on meat?
Is he ready to brandish a man-sized skewer and turn whistleblower on the kebab industry?
Is this a satire on kebab shop knifings?
No, he is the source of cheap puns and accusations.
Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Media, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Ordering Out A Prostitute From The Menu
TO Zapatas eatery, Shanghai, wher you can order a prostitute to go, or al carte…
Posted: 10th, October 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Photojournalism, Strange But True | Comments (12) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
JAMIE Oliver takes time out from telling fat football fans oop north to eat well and tells us:
“In the old days I used to get the knickers and the bras. It was good. Filth whispered in me ears.
“He’s a w***er” (Times.
They’re just bored of me now. I’m just that geezer who keeps, you know, doing these worthy things around the country.”
Like shoving it down people’s throats…
Posted: 9th, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Celebrities, Food & Fat, Jamie Oliver | Comments (15) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Ronald McDonald Puts Paul McCartney’s Hair In A Bun
“WHAT sort of morons do McDonald’s think Beatles’ fans are,” asks Paul McCartney’s spokesman Geoff Baker.
The sort of morons who listen to records backwards, write their names on walls and think crossing the road is photo opportunity?
Says a PETA spokesman, the voice of dumb animals:
“He became a vegetarian after watching lambs play in field outside his home and surely would not want to use his likeness to promote meat.”
The Sun says that Macca “hit the roof” after a branch of McDonald’s in his native Liverpool put pictures of The Beatles on the walls “to attract customers”.
Posted: 8th, October 2008 | In: Celebrities, Food & Fat, Paul McCartney | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Falafel Wars: Lebanon And Isreal’s Food Fight
SO this is war. Who threw the first falafel. Come on. Own up!
A new war between Israel and Lebanon has erupted, but this time the war is not geopolitical, but rather an issue of cuisine-who has sovereignty over traditional Arab dishes and sandwiches.
There’s nothing like a good old traditional Labanese Lord Al Sandwich.
Posted: 7th, October 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Strange But True, War On Terror | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
High Times In Class C As Pupil Gives Teacher Hash Cakes
HIGH times at Class C, at Wortley High School in Leeds, West Yorks, where a 15-year-old has been expelled after, allegedly, giving hash cakes to two teaching assistants.
Says the Sun:
The members of staff fell violently ill with dizziness and severe headaches hours after tucking into treats the teenager made at home.
It was cannabis. Well, “probably”. The Sun says the cakes have not been tested.
The student would seem to have right to appeal, and should we not applaud her home economics skills. She did not buy the hash cakes ready made but produced them self from scratch, and all natural ingredients.
Posted: 6th, October 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Tabloids | Comments (16) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Sample recipe: Goulash with stallion or bull testicles
Ingredients
2-3 tablespoons lard
4kg stallion of bull testicles
2-3 onions
1 clove garlic
peppercorn and ground pepper
thyme
mint herb
milfoil (plant)
red ground seasoning pepper or tomato puree
hot chilli pepper to taste
salt
mix seasoning
1 tbsp plain flour
200ml white wine
1 tablespoon honey
2 squares cooking chocolate
Method
Cut testicles into thin slices. Fry briefly, adding finely chopped onion, garlic, black ground pepper and chilli. Cook while gradually adding water. When nearly finished, add white wine. When wine evaporates a bit, add mix seasoning, pepper, thyme, milfoil, red pepper powder, mint herb and a tablespoon of flour. Mix all well until wine completely evaporates and at the very end add honey and chocolate. Instead of red ground seasoning pepper you can use tomato puree. Tomato puree is used to get red colour, so don’t use ketchup.
Posted: 2nd, October 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Strange But True, Twitterings | Comments (32) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Peta Wants Ben And Jerry To Use Human Milk
SWITZERLAND can soon buy its milk in bulk:
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow’s milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman.
“PETA’s request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow’s milk in the food he serves,” the statement says.
Look out for Milk And Cookies…
Swiss Restaurant Serves Up Breast Milk In Its Sauces
Posted: 25th, September 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Strange But True, Twitterings | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Credit Crunch: Heroin Dealers Make Rasher For It
CREDIT Crunch news of the day:
“SHOPLIFTERS ARE GETTING RASHER – Bacon is stolen to order”.
It’s the CREDIT BRUNCH, reports the Star, albeit missing the pun.
To a boarding house in Burnley, where the breakfast menu is being perused…
Posted: 22nd, September 2008 | In: Credit Crunch, Food & Fat, Money, Tabloids | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Swiss Restaurant Serves Up Breast Milk In Its Sauces
TO the kitchen of the Storchen restaurant, high in the Winterthur resort in darkest Switzerland.
“Try the meat stew,” says mein brave with a fat-lipped, lascivious grin. “Various soups and sauces are yummy tummy,” he adds.
All contain at least 75 per cent of mother’s milk. The calf’s mother? “No,” says he. “My mother’s.”
Posted: 19th, September 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Strange But True | Comments (15) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Italian Mafia Seek To Head Off Bread Threat From Lancashire
PSST! Wanna buy some bread?
After yesterday’s news of the Lancashire mafia, today we learn that the Italian mafia have noted the threat, moving to nip in the bud the threat posed by Morris’s Quality Bakers, (Baker Street, Coppull, Chorley).
The Guardian reports that “city officials and investigators suspect Camorra clans are behind many of the 1,400 unlicensed backstreet bakeries in and around the city which supply hundreds of street vendors who sell loaves out of car boots - and they may be spreading into selling other basic food products.”
Yeah, car boots. Shoppers would do well to check the rolls for signs of blood and bits of missing person’s teeth and hair.
Posted: 15th, September 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Food & Fat, Police Log, Strange But True | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Spare Rib: German Butchers Say Eat More Women
SAYS the sign on the side of the butcher’s van: “Meat Products, Fresh Service”. The legend is illustrated by the image of a naked woman.
Germany’s national advertising council says the adverts by G&M Fleischwaren Frischdienst are degrading and anti-woman.
“Such an advert blatantly violates the council’s codes on discrimination and degradation in advertising,” says the council. “
Posted: 13th, September 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Online-PR, Strange But True | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Police Log: Virgin Tramp Murders Linda McCartney
POLICE LOG: Crime in the news…
Virgin Tramps’s Linda McCarntey Buffet
Mark Armstrong, 34, crept on to a London-bound Virgin Express while it was stopped at Preston’s railway station overnight, and helped himself to the freshly restocked buffet.
Desperate times…
Posted: 12th, September 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Police Log, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Your Chance To Eat A Hot Beef Sundae
YUMMY! Hot beef on bed of ice cream and cheery sauce…
Posted: 11th, September 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Photojournalism, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
New Jab To Lance Boil Of Fat People
THE Express tells of a new “Jab that stops obsess people feeling hungry.”
Anorak has long advocated the old jab, where the thin person elbows fatty in the tenderloin and says: “Don’t you think you’ve had enough?”
But the paper says this new jab is terrific.
Posted: 9th, September 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Tabloids | Comments (18) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
A Catholic Funeral For Trees: Pray For Them
A FUNERAL for trees. Let us pray. Dear, Great Sycamore…
Of course, global warmists are just Catholics:
Posted: 8th, September 2008 | In: Anorak TV, Broadsheets, Food & Fat, Global Warming | Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Food And Fat: The Death Of Billy Bunter
HOW fat are we? The Sun knows.
We are now so fat that a schoolgirl has had to be cut free from her skirt.
And a boy has had have a 58-inch blazer specially made.
The talk is of “Billy Bunter”-sized clothes. Indeed, dear reader, in such a time of fat children, can we not have a new point of reference?
Posted: 8th, September 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Tabloids | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
The Tabloid Telegraph: Robert De Niro, Food Issues And Eco Nobu
IS there one story that sums up the new tabloid-focused Daily Telegraph? This comes close:
A Michelin-starred restaurant chain part-owned by the actor Robert De Niro is serving endangered bluefin tuna at its London outlets without telling customers, DNA tests have shown.
DNA test on food. Make that DNA tests on celebrity food. And why no kangaroo?
Posted: 7th, September 2008 | In: Bad Science, Broadsheets, Celebrities, Food & Fat, Global Warming | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
Marilyn Wann Comes Out For Fat Pride
MARILYN Wann is fat. She wants fat people to feel good about being fat. She is for fat pride:
Marilyn Wann, who weighs 285 pounds or 129 kilos, had her health insurance denied on the grounds of weight alone. This spurred her into becoming the leader of the so-called fat pride movement in the United States. She openly identifies herself as ‘fat’ and calls for society to change.
Says she:
“I don’t ask anyone else for permission to exist. Whether or not you want to ask me if I have a right to be fat or not, I claim it.
I grew up as a chubby kid. I think there’s sort of an implied question of ‘Why are fat people fat?’ and I notice that we don’t ask the same question ‘Why are these thin people so thin? What did they do wrong to be so thin?’
Dear Anroak, I’m a fat, Jewish, gay, black jhihadi with persecution issues…
Posted: 7th, September 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Food & Fat, Twitterings | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
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