Key Posts Category
X Factor Cancer Victim Danyl Johnson Hospitalised Over ‘Arts Injury’, In Pictures
DID you know that X Factor singer Danyl Johnson had a “secret battle with cancer”? Not that it’s a secret any more.
At that secret X Factor gig – that was only a secret if you weren’t invited (we were: pictures here) – Danyl Johnson revealed his secret to the, er, media. He had testicular cancer as a boy.
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Posted: 4th, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Tiger Woods’ Sex Videos And the American Footballer’s Wife
TIGER Woods and the women: Anorak’s at a glance look at Tiger Woods in the news: with a sex video, another Grubb, George Clooney, another woman and the Church of Tiger’s closure…
The Last Swinger In Town
The Sun’s front-page news tells readers and any of Tiger’s future women: “TIGER IS HORRIBLE IN BED.” so says a freind of Jaimee Grubbs. And get a load of her name:
Telly pal Krista Grubb, 27, told The Sun: “She was showing all these texts saying they were from Tiger and George. One she said was from George said, ‘When can I get in there again?’ He signed it G… Jaimee said George was amazing but wasn’t so nice about Tiger. She just kept saying he was horrible in bed.”
Kiss ‘n’ Uchitel
Rachel Uchitel dismissed claims of a fling. She called a press conference. She cancelled a press conference. Now:
Rachel Uchitel, 34, cancelled a press conference at the last minute, citing “unforeseen circumstances”. She was widely expected to admit that she DID have a relationship with the golfing ace, despite earlier denials. But Woods’ aides are said to be desperate to stop her talking. And US reports claimed that Uchitel instead began negotiating a $1million (£600,000) deal to remain silent.
Silence is Golden
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Posted: 4th, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Tiger Woods’ Sex Text Messages To Uchitel And Grubbs To Be Published In Tao Of Tiger Book?
TIGER Woods’ women are evidence of why they build golf courses in Las Vegas: sex. Did Tiger Woods play the back nine in Scotland? No. Too miserable, wet and puritanical. Golf in Vegas is the way to make it swing. All of Woods’ alleged mistresses operated in Vegas nightclubs (pictures of them all).
Golfers, you can pull young women with long hair and long legs – boy, does Woods have a type – but only in dimly lit bars in Vegas. (New pictures of another woman getting the Woods’ grip are to the left.)
As we picture the Ryder Cup moment when Woods holes the winning putt and half of the Vegas Strip clatters over the greens in strappy shoes and cowboy hats, texting as they stampede, we arrive at Rachel Uchitel.
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Posted: 3rd, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment
Tiger Woods’ Women: The Jaimee Grubbs Nominative Determinism Picture Gallery
TIGER Woods’ alleged mistress, Jaimee Grubbs is seen leaving Firefly in Studio City in Los Angeles, USA – spotted by Anorak’s golf correspondent, Teresa Green, cock-a-hoop that finally she can report on something other than boring men escaping their wives by putting things into holes. Here are pictures of shy, demure Jaimee, the 24-year-old surely now former Las Vegas cocktail waitress and star of the TV show… Tool Academy. Oh, nominative determinism, cruel mistress of Tiger Woods and Jaimee Grubbs…
Posted: 3rd, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Jaimee Grubbs Tells Of ‘2-Year Affair’ With Tiger Woods, In Pictures
JAIMEE Grubbs is not only a product of nominative determinism, but alleges that she was Tiger Woods’ lover. While Rachel Uchitel tells media outlet that she is not Woods’ 19th hole (one magazine contests that), Jaimee Grubbs introduces herself and says that she is.
Anorak has brought you pictures of Jaimee Grubbs, and now the Sun thunders:
“MY 2-YEAR-FLING WITH TIGER”
Grubbs is 20, which would make her 18 when she first addressed Woods. In golfing terms this equates to a year for every hole. Back nine, front nine. Jaimee sets up the jokes and the media takes a gimme. As for the story:
A COCKTAIL waitress has sensationally claimed she’s been having an affair with Tiger Woods for 31 months. Jaimee Grubbs, 24, says she has had around 20 sexual encounters with the world’s top golfer, 33.
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Posted: 2nd, December 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment (1)
Tiger Woods Crash: After Rachel Uchitel Meet Jaimee Grubbs
TIGER Woods Crash: Having introduced Elin Nodegren’s Kobe Grip And Rachel Uchitel’s denial, now hear from Jamiee Grubbs. Oh, nominative determinism is at it again.
Before we hear from Jaimee know that the Celebrity Police Force is to charge Tiger Woods with “careless driving” and failing to give them an autogaph.
Anorak’s Man in LA takes up the story of Ms Grubbs, Grubb Street’s new favourite date:
THE flood gates are open, and all of Tiger Woods’ mistresses are pouring out and into the public eye.
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Posted: 1st, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Katie Price Wants Alex Reid Back And Is ‘At It’ With Peter Andre
KATIE PRICE and Peter Andre, with special guest star Alex Reid: WHEN the Mirror’s Sue Carroll sniffed the air outside her lounge window and told readers that Katie Price’s “sad delusions” of being interesting or popular, she was bang on.
“So before Miss Price, Jordan, Katie or whatever she wants to call herself suffers any more sad delusions it should be made clear that the majority of the British people do not give a kangaroo’s testes about her.”
That majority read papers like the Sun, Mail, Times and Telegraph. an even bigger majority get their news on the web. But a minority do read the Daily Mirror and on its front page, they get a picture of Katie Price and the headline news:
“GET BACK WITH ALEX…MAYBE – TROUBLED KATIE OPENS HER HEART”
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Posted: 1st, December 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)
Tiger Woods: National Enquirer Claims Proof Of An Affair With Rachel Uchitel
TIGER Woods crashes his car. Elin Nordegren reacts with speed and a decent swing to save the day. Rachel Uchitel denies any involvement with Woods. And the National Enquirer says that there is more to the story.
That’s the National Enquirer, of which Uchitel says:
“I don’t appreciate my name or what people think of me being dragged through the mud by people who don’t even bother to research what or who they’re talking about … they should research who these stories are coming from, who they’re believing as a credible source. Not to mention that it’s in the National Enquirer.”
As we wrote, is this the National Enquirer that exposed John Edwards’ secret love child or the NE that says Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are breaking up nearly every week, a story the very famous are unlikely to challenge under law becuse to do so would dignify any claim and expose the stars to questions and intrusion?
But thus pricked, the NE reacts. Anorak hears from a source at the magazine who delivers this news:
NATIONAL ENQUIRER WORLD EXCLUSIVE: WOMAN AT CENTER OF TIGER WOODS CHEATING SCANDAL EXPOSED!!
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Posted: 30th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, National Enquirer | Comment (1)
Tiger Woods Car Crash: Elin Nodegren’s Kobe Grip And Rachel Uchitel Denies
EVER since Tiger Woods crashed his car into a tree golfers have been celebrating the news that golf is not a boring sport for misogynists on milk floats. Golf is edgy and dangerous. Golf writers have been weeping for joy that finally they can write about something other than a ball going into a hole and how a grown man shakes hands with his wood.
The story so far, featuring swimsuit-clad Elin Nordegren and not Rachel Uchitel: The Tiger Woods minor car crash news round-up
Daily Express (front page): “Police to interview Tiger’s wife Elin over his mystery car crash”
No need, coppers because over on the Daily Mail’s front page we learn:
“I’m to blame, not my wife, says Tiger”
But what can we blame him for – turning Roger Federer into the world’s dullest sporstman and inviting the Swiss ace’s wife to test those racket strings against his car windscreen? (Yesterday, police spokesman Kim Montes said both rear passenger windows on the luxury vehicle had been smashed.) Again the answer comes on another front page, this time the Telegraph’s:
“Breaking cover: The girls said to be Tiger’s birdie”.
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Posted: 30th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (5)
Madeleine McCann: I Foiled The ‘Maddie Conman’ From 300 Miles Away
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: The true story of the arrest of the “Maddie fraudster” – the “Maddie conman” – Kevin Halligen, Maddie’s “James Bond spy“.
WHEN Kevin Halligen was arrested in a dispute over a bill at an Oxfordshire hotel, the UK press billed him as the “Maddie fraudster”. Halligen owned a detective company hired by Kate and Gerry McCann to find their daughter. His arrest had nothing to do the media’s Our Maddie. Halligen’s alleged fraud involves a dispute with a law firm in the US. The Sun said it found Halligen when its “investigators staked out a luxury Oxford hotel then tipped off cops”. But the man who really spotted him and tipped off the police and the press offers his account exclusively to Anorak. Christopher Winsley explains.
I FOILED THE ”MADDIE CONMAN” FROM 300 MILES AWAY
LIKE many 22-year-old students across the UK, my Sunday’s start with a spiltting headache, and very little memory from the night before. Last weekend, I regret to say, was no different. I woke up after an enjoyable evening, followed by coffee, and a trip to the local shop to buy a few newspapers to linger over throughout the day.
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Posted: 29th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comments (5)
Tiger Woods: Rachel Uchitel Denies Affair, Elin Nordegren Accused And Roger Federer Tests His Racket
THE Tiger Woods story keeps getting richer. First up we heard that Tiger’s wife Elin Nordegren picked putter and rescued Tiger from certain doom by smashing in the back of his SUV.
Then we were introduced to Rachel Uchitel – who will not kiss’n’tell.
The Sun says Woods was “unconscious” for six minutes. It was “horrific” says the Mirror.
The BBC says:
The star was found semi-conscious with facial injuries after his car reportedly hit a fire hydrant and tree.
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Posted: 28th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (13)
Leeds University Advertises For A Lap Dance ‘Research Officer’ For Science Project
LEEDS University is adverting for a “Research Officer” to investigate “The rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labour and consumption in the night time economy.”
Replies should be addressed to the Faculty of Education, Social Sciences and Law
School of Sociology and Social Policy.
The job description is gorgeous. Grab a light pen and get ready to take notes:
You will work on an ESRC funded study on the rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labour and consumption in the night time economy. The post will involve qualitative and quantitative data collection and analysis. It is based in Leeds, although some travel to other cities may be necessary.
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Posted: 28th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Money | Comment (1)
Rachel Uchitel And A Car Crash Make Tiger Woods No Longer Most Boring Sportsman On The Planet
TIGER Woods is not longer the most boring sportsman on planet. All over the web are allegations that injured Tiger Woods has been getting to know a Rachel Uchitel. She was once a producer for Bloomberg TV.
So how did Woods become unconscious in his driveway in the early hours of the morning? Says TMZ:
Tiger Woods did not suffer facial lacerations from a car accident. They were inflicted by his wife, Elin Nordegren — according to a conversation Woods had Friday after the accident.
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Posted: 28th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (9)
Katie Price And Peter Andre Plan Christmas Reunion
PETER Andre and Katie Price are in a “SECRET REUNION”.
They are back? First the shared hotel. Will they be married by Christmas? Says the Star:
“Jungle hell relaunches brand Katie and Peter”
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Posted: 28th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment (1)
Ilfracombe’s Floating Sperm Presents The World’s Worst Corporate Logos
COME to Ilfracombe, Devon, induces the seaside town’s new logo. Come to Ilfracombe, Devon, and swim with the sperm.
The “idiosyncratic swirl” is the work of Tessa Martin. Her works encourages people to “take another look and be surprised” by Ilfracombe, Devon. The log also reminds them to wear something protective and shower after bathing. Incidentally, Ilfracombe has the country’s second highest rate for teenage pregnancies – so it might be an advert for new sperm donors.
Posted: 27th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment
Katie Price Wants Peter Andre Back And Hits A Photgrapher
KATIE Price And Peter Andre Remarriage Watch: Katie aplogises for being a bitch, Peter Andre sues Katie for her “lies”, Katie rows with Alex Reid and hits a photographer…
Anorak’s Katie Price and Peter Andre news round-up.
The Sun (front page): “JORDAN BEGS PETER: Take me back.”
Married by Christmas? Who wants to take the bet?
JORDAN has made an emotional phone call to ex-hubby Peter Andre, begging him: “Please take me back,” The Sun can reveal. She apologised for being a “bitch” to him and pleaded for a reunion, saying: “I messed up.” A friend of Peter said: “She said she was sorry for being such a bitch to him.”
“She asked him straight out if there was any chance they could get back together and pleaded for a reunion. She was telling him she just couldn’t stop thinking of him and their life together.”
Peter Andre has his apology, says Peter Andre’s friend. Which means Peter Andre can remain dignified and the tabloids’ pet couple can be reunited on the telly or in OK!.
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Posted: 27th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment
Amazon Eve: World’s Tallest Glamour Model In Pictures
MEET tall glamour model Amazon Eve. She’s 6ft 8inches tall.she is 30 years old. Amazon Eve might not be her real name, but if it is, it is a fine nominative determinism in action.
Our Man in LA tells us:
Something else to be thankful for on this holiday… that you’re not a 6-foot-8-inch swimsuit model named “Amazon Eve.” Just a little about Eve: She’s 30 years old and hails from Redondo Beach, California. She recently burst onto the Australian modeling scene with a spread in a magazine called “Zoo Weekly.” Pictures:
Posted: 27th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)
Madeleine McCann: The Media Creates A New Maddie Monster And Twists The Facts
MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann: Madeleine McCann is still making news. No, the not because she has been found or that anyone is investigating her disappearance, but because ‘Maddie Fruadster‘ Kevin Halligen has been nicked.
It’s news on Page 11 of the Daily Express: “Madeleine ‘detective’ fraud case.” Halligen ran a firm that was hired to look for Our Maddie. But the alleged fraud has nothing to do with the monies he earned for that job. This is a “£1.2 million fraud in the US”. Earlier it was a “£1.3milion” fraud .
Such are the facts – and the shifting exchange rates.
The Sun, meanwhile, searches for a link between Halligen’s alleged fraud and Madeleine McCann. How can we turn Halligen into a figure of hate? The paper screams:
“Maddie rat tried to sue fund for £150k’
Conniving Halligen was sacked by the charity – which had already paid him £300,000 – after bosses began to suspect he was a conman. But he then had the nerve to threaten to sue for half as much money again, claiming he was still owed it as part of a three-phase contract. A source close to the fund said: “There were a series of letters between our solicitors and his.
“He said he was going to sue us for what he claimed he was still owed and our message was basically, ‘See you in court’.”
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Posted: 26th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann | Comments (2)
The 14 Ten Most Offensive Google Search Results
MICHELLE Obama is the number one monkey on Google search – type in ‘Michelle Obama’ and you can a likeness of the President’s wife. As any book buyer, cartoonist, puppet enthusaist, Austrian pundit, animation fan, zoo worker, and Curious George lover knows, this is exactly what Michelle Obama looks like. From Ahmadinejad to Palin, all the world’s leaders are monkeys, save for Gordon Brown who is a cuckoo.
Anorak had been searching the web for other ways to be offended. And we now bring you the 10 most offensive image search results on Google. These images are all No.1 on the Google hits parade:
9george-bush
Posted: 25th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (3)
Michelle Obama Is A Monkey And Other Offensive Google Images
TYPE ‘Michelle Obama’ into Google in the US and you get a picture of Dr Zira, of Escape From Planet of The Apes, reclining bath of bubbles. Well, not, what you get is this crude image hereunder of Michelle Obama looking like a monkey.
Google responds by equipping the image with “Offensive Search Results”, saying: “Sometimes our search results can be offensive. We agree.”
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Posted: 25th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (4)
Bolivian Police And Maddie McCann Introduce The Worst Photo-Fits Ever
HAVE you seen that police photo-fit of the wanted man? Do you recognise that face? If you do you are either a mystic, the wanted man or else guesing. In light of the Bolivian police’s fine work in capturing them, and their joinign in the hunt for Our Maddie, we introduce the World’s Worst Police Photo-fits:
photofit1
Posted: 25th, November 2009 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comments (3)
Peter Andre ‘Begs’ Katie Price To Come Home
KATIE Price and Peter Andre: Katie is out of the jungle and the talk is of she and Peter Andre getting back together. Or is it?
The Daily Mirror’s front page leads with “The Fall Of the Jordan Empire”
This news follows yesterday’s comment by Sue Carroll – “Everybody’s favourite columnist” – in which the voice of the paper told Mirror readers:
“So before Miss Price, Jordan, Katie or whatever she wants to call herself suffers any more sad delusions it should be made clear that the majority of the British people do not give a kangaroo’s testes about her.”
Happily, the Daily Mirror is not in the majority – it just thinks it is – and its readers just love Katie, which is why Katie/Jordan/Kate/Pricey is slapped on the front page…again.
While the Mirror holds up a huge full colour photo of Katie Price and says how she is old news, the Daily Star at least tries to crete new news with its front-page scremer:
Pete begs Kate come home now
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Posted: 25th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (6)
X Factor: Hairy Jordans Jedward To Star On I’m A Celebrity And Coronation Street
WHEN Jedward left the X Factor on the same night Katie Price quit the I’m A Celebrity jungle, we knew there would be no shortage of tabloid exclusives.
Today the Sun accompanies its front–page news that Katie Price has dumped Alex Reid, with the story:
NOW BOSSES WANT JEDWARD FOR JUNGLE
Exile? Well, Australian deserves it, we suppose. Give them a pair of Stubbies, a vest, a can of amber ambition and their li-lo a hearty shove. Bon voyage. Next!
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Posted: 24th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)
I’m A Celebrity Watch: Katie Price Is More Hated Than Baby P’s Mum
I’M A Celebrity Watch: I’m A Celebrity’s Katie Price is hated by all, loved by Alex Reid, hated by the entire country and replaced by a bikini…
On last night post-Katie Price show, Anorak began Bikini Watch – keeping a tally of how it was before the big holes left by Katie Price and her Jordans were plugged with other contestants.
After 2.8 seconds, we saw Sabrina Washington in a bikini, followed five seconds later by soon-to-be-ejected Lucy Benjamin (get ‘em while you can), and 11 seconds later then we saw Stuart Manning with his chest out.
At the end of the show, having heard Katie’s flat drawl expwain mi weaons fur leeevin’ ther jungal, there was not enough to for Benjamin to say what a wicked time she’d had.
It’s a good fist at replacing Katie Price, but for the papers it is too little and to, well, little. Though no longer on I’m A Celebrity, Katie Price dominates the tabloid chatter. The news round up:
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Posted: 24th, November 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)
In Photos: Susan Boyle Sings Rockefeller Center Plaza In New York City
SUSAN Boyle Watch: Anorak’s Man in New York was there to see Susan Boyle perform live on NBC’s ‘Today’ show from the Rockefeller Center Plaza in New York City.
Susan Boyle has undergone a makeover but thanks to her lack of slimness and cynicism, she remains marketable and easy for vain, Botox-laced US TV presenters to patronise. How does she manage to sing while looking like that? America looks on in awe. Boyle is so very brave…
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Posted: 23rd, November 2009 | In: Key Posts | Comments (9)
