Anorak

Key Posts | Anorak - Part 222

Key Posts Category

When Abortion Is Murder

ABORTION is an emotive matter. The self-styled pro-lifers would rather have any life over abotion, however tragic and miserable for mother and child – however much the birth ruins lives.

But what can be made of aborted babies born alive and screaming?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 11th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (40)


The Sopranos Swearing Is No Match For Rooney And The Top Ten British Swear Words

THE following video features every swear word uttered on The Sopranos in chronological order. (NSFW.)

Anorak is both shocked and saddened by the video. Who knew that for all its excellence The Sopranos centred on just two swear words: f*** and s***.

Britishers see more swearing – and more fluent swearing – when Wayne Rooney appears on a tea-time footy match in purple-puss HD digital close up.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 10th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (2)


Abi Titmuss And Mickey Rourke Sex Scene: Full Transcript

JUST how did Abi Titmuss “turn down sex with Mickey Rourke”?

And do know that tuning down sex with Mickey Rourke has been down before, notably by his Wrestler co-star Rachel Wood, who opined:

“I’m not attracted to him, he’s too old for me. Nothing ever happened and nothing ever will.”

Wood complained that stories linking her to Rourke were distracting to her career. What hope, then, for

Titmuss whose career high is a straight-to-tissues home movie?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 10th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7)


Oh Carol Thatcher, Oh Golly: A Brief History Of The Golliwog

CAROL Thatcher’s “golliwog” remark has put the issue into the news for the first time in forty years.

I’m sorry, I’ll start again.

Carol Thatcher’s “golliwog” remark has put the issue into the news for the first time in four months. As recently as October 2008 the Enid Blyton shop was under attack for stocking gollies. And in four months’ time another golly non-story will probably come along

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 8th, February 2009 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (29)


The Top Ten Flashmob Facebook Dances

THE Top Ten Facebook Flashbob Dances:

THE Facebook Flashmob take over Liverpool Street station. They’re doing the T-Mobile dance. It’s all testament to how corporations are affecting our lives.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 7th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comment


Jade Goody’s Celebrity Cancer: Casualty Special And Hate Mail

JADE Goody Cancer watch: Jade has a tumour removed.

JADE’S LIFE SAVING OP” is the Mirror’s front-page news.

A nation’s heart has gone out to Jade Goody during her cancer battle, but few people can truly understand her ordeal as well as Rebekah Gibbs.

Who she?

The former Casualty star was diagnosed with breast cancer in April last year – just 10 weeks after the birth of her daughter Gigi.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 7th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (23)


Baby P: Sharon Shoesmith’s Torture And the Sun’s Grave Grab

BABY P is dead. Baby P was tortured.

Baby P is in the media. The Sun made land grab for his resting place. The Sun demanded that Sharon Shoesmith, then head of children’s services at Haringey Council, be sacked. The Sun demanded that others be sacked. No time to learn from mistakes, to improve by experience. Just go.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 7th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (52)


An Open Letter From Michael Phelps

WHAT was Michel Phelps thinking of when he first dipped a toe into the murky waters of pro-celebrity swimming?

The Olympics is seedy, vice-riddled world of corruption, greed and drugs.

Says a contrite Phelps:

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 7th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (8)


Fat Jessica Simpson Melts On Stage

JESSICA Simpson is now so fat – putting the size ten in tennis court – that she is melting beneath the arc lights on stage.

To the Rascal Flatts gig in Grand Rapids Michigan, where Jessica is fighting back tears, mumbling and looking about as comfortable as a fattened goose in a Frenchman’s sauna.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 7th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, Photojournalism | Comments (7)


Strip A Child For World Nude Day

FEBRUARY 9 is World Nude Day. It is also UNICEF Day for Change:

Day for Change gives pupils the opportunity to wear what they want for the day in return for a small donation to UNICEF. In 2005, Day for Change focuses on the issue of food and nutrition in Ethiopia and Tajikistan.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 6th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comment


Man Arrested For Public Sex With Two Inflatable Dolls

GEORGE Bartusek has been caught enjoying a threesome with two rubber dolls in the front seat of his car outside the Publix shop in Cape Coral, Florida.

Within the beige Lincoln saloon car, the 51-year-old was naked from the waist down.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 6th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Strange But True | Comments (6)


Lily Allen: Makes Simon Cowell A Proposition He Can Refuse

LILY Allen watch: Lily propositions Simon Cowell, by accident. D’oh!

Says Lily:

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 6th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (2)


Obama Watch: Obama’s Second, Third And Fourth Coming, And Bible Studies

BARACK Obama Watch: Anorak’s look at the Cult of Obama…

“I was at the podium closest to the first family and the Bidens. I couldn’t looked over for very long. It’s like looking at the sun” – Laura Linney, Hollywood Reporter

“I am Mark Saggers and this is the first 5Live Sport of the Barack Obama presidency” – BBC

“Oh…Oh… Oh… Obama: New hope for the future of Orgasms! Rampant Rabbit Wave, exclusive to Ann Summers. ‘Yes we can believe in’ – Now £10 off” – Ann summers

As a Leo, President Obama’s high standards and complete professionalism won’t stand for being treated with contempt or ridicule, buy they are vey aware of other people’s need for dignity, so his relationship with Brown should be interesting as Brown, a Piscean on the cusp of Aries, has a tendency to be hot-tempered, impetuous and impatient” – Press Release, GanashSpeaks

“When Barack Obama steps out for his inauguration later tonight, a little piece of Australia will be on stage with him. His wife, Michelle, will be wearing an Australian-made daytime eye-shadow” – Today tonight, Australia

President, Larry Younginer knelt in front of the congregants at his suburban Atlanta church and offered a prayer of thanks.

“Lord, we have again come to you in prayer, and you have heard our cries from heaven, and you have sent us again from the state called Illinois, a man called Barack to heal our land. We pray that you will build a hedge around him that will protect him from those who would do him harm….”

[Lawrence Carter, dean of the Martin Luther King Jr. International Chapel:

“It is powerful and significant on a spiritual level that there is the emergence of Barack Obama 40 years after the passing of Dr. King. No one saw him coming, and Christians believe God comes at us from strange angles and places we don’t expect, like Jesus being born in a manger” – Chicago Tribune

“Oxford is playing a key role in a historical event today – as President–Elect Barack Obama takes an oath of office on a Bible published by Oxford University Press” – Oxford University press release

Posted: 6th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comments (2)


The Kaka Tattoo Tapes: Why Kaka Didn’t Join Manchester City

FOR days, Manchester City fans toyed with the news that Kaka would leave AC Milan and take up residence in Eastlands.

Now Anorak can reveal why that deal did not go though and how it was too late for Manchester City fan Christopher Atkinson.

To an office in Milan. Kaka is seated in his football kit and boots. His agent is talking…

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 6th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment


Chantelle Houghton Bags Jermain Defoe

IT was ever going to be so for Chantelle Houghton, erstwhile Big Brother winner, wearer of the gargantuan Jordans and now Wag to Tottenham Hotspur footballer Jermain Defoe, a man caught in a time loop.

One year ago, the News of the World told us:

“SPURS ace Jermain Defoe rolls off the busty mistress he has kept secret for an astonishing SEVEN YEARS… and plants the cups of her giant 36GG bra on his head.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 6th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


The Top 10 Barack Obama Theme Songs

BARACK Obama’s theme music is not “Hail to the Chief” but Sting’s “Desert Rose” or Cole Porter’s “Night and Day”.

Instead of the usual contingent of trumpets, tubas and drums, a single piano player now provides musical interludes before and after the president’s appearance.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 5th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians | Comment


David Beckham’s La Galaxy AC Milan Career In Quotes

DAVID Beckham loves Los Angeles Galaxy. Yaaaay! David Beckham moves to AC Milan after year with his beloved LA Galaxy. Scorechio! Anrosk takes look at BEckhgams’ LA Galxay career (pictures):

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 5th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (3)


Jade Goody’s Cancer Embodies The White Working Class

JADE Goody has “only weeks to live” advertises the Star’s front page.

“Doc gives Jade miracle drug,” says the Sun on its front page.

“My last chance,” says Jade on the Mirror’s front page. “She’ll fight on for sake of the boys.”

Here’s hoping that cancer can be shouted down or glassed in the face or if, say, Jade’s love Jack Tweed steps in, smashed about the person with a golf club. Fight!

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 5th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (57)


John Terry’s Transsexual Secret, Revealed!

ANORAK applauds Chelsea’s extremely heterosexual captain for having the balls to go public with his secret (until now) transsexual identity – Mr JT is perhaps the last baller we would expect this of.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 5th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comments (11)


Queen Endorses Golliwogs As Carol Thatcher Says “Golly Good Show, Andy Murray”

TO a gift shop on the Queen’s Sandringham Estate in Norfolk, and a order for golliwog toys.

Carol Thatcher is elevated from the living hell of BBC TV’s pisspoor The One Show after referring to tennis playerAndy Murray as a “golliwog” and the UK goes bonkers for the golli.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 5th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Reviews | Comments (19)


Christian Bale Versus Bill O’Reilly Smack Down

BATMAN actor Christian Bale is effing and blinding on the scene of Terminator Salvation when director of photography Shane Hurlbut strays into shot.

Bale unleashes a string of sarcasm and swearing as he calls a colleague, er, unprofessional. Show some f*****g respect you ***o.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 4th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (4)


Mars Merkaba Baptized In The Twitty Milk

TWITTY Milk is back on the celebrioty name rollerdex. Erykah Badu has named her newborn baby girl Mars Merkaba.

When baby appeared, mum and dad, one Jay Electronica, took one look at said “Twitty Milk“. They twittered it. And a world rejoiced that Puma Rose and Seven Sirius could finally laugh at someone else.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 4th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment


Jade Goody’s International Celebrity Cancer

JADE Goody has rarely been more popular, now that she’s ill.

“Jade: My cancer has spread,” announces the Sun on its front page.

Cynics might point out that its spread from being a private matter between Jade and Indian telly viewers to the tabloids’ front page.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 4th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (30)


Carol Thatcher Follows Jonathan Ross Out As BBC Purges Speech Impediments

THATCHER. Thatcher. Thatcher. Out! Out! Out! It’s Carol Thatcher being ousted from the BBC for using the world golliwog in a non-ironical fashion.

Carol, better known as Cawol, follows Jonathan Ross (Woss) down the BBC rubbish chute.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 4th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Photojournalism, Reviews | Comments (17)


An Exclusive Chat With Cheryl Cole And Victoria Beckham

CHERYL Cole says Victoria Beckham is “AN INCREDIBLE WOMAN”.

Cheryl Cole tells OK! readers that “THERE’S NO FEUD.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 4th, February 2009 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comment