ROCK stars are great . They have long hair that gets thicker and thicker as their fame surges; perfect teeth that never go missing and groupies as a utility. But what did they look like when younger? Like this:
KYRON Horman: Desiree Young, Kyron Horman’s bith mother, is suing the missing boy’s step-mother, Terri Horman – the last person we know to have seen Kyron on June 4, 2010, the day he went missing in Portland, Oregon.
Young, married to local cop, suing Horman for “custodial interference” – keeping a parent from their child “permanently or for a protracted period.”
Only, Terri Horman has been convicted of no crime. She has been charged with no crime. We do not know if any crime befell Kyron Horman. All we know is that two years ago the seven-year-old went missing form his school in Portland, Oregon.
LUKA Magnotta is now a tabloid star. The former “porn star” / “model” / James Dean look alike (he had surgery to look like his idol) / suspected kitten killer and massive self-promoter on the internet is wanted by Canadian police in connection with a dismembered body, parts of which have been posted to the country’s politicians.
You might watched user “Luke Magnotta” apparently murdering and then sexually assaulting a man on a snuff website. The film is called1 Lunatic 1 Ice Pic.
Now you can read about him in the Sun, which screams from its front page:
“I CAN’T STOP KILLING”
The Sun says it has heard from the alleged killer.
Cannibal on run after ‘chopping up man’ warned The Sun: I can’t stop killing – First he fed kitten to snake on sick vid & we alerted cops but they did nothing
What a scoop! The wanted man had made contact with the British newspaper. The British newspaper knows for certain Magnotta killed cats by suffocation. And it knows it all just from watching a view and reading an email. Call off the police. The Sun has cracked it.
TO Thailand, where Chiranuch Premchaiporn, 44, director of the Prachatai website, has been handed an eight-month suspended sentence and $630 fine for failing to act quickly enough to remove reader comments posts deemed insulting to Thailand’s royalty.
The European Union, an institution marginally less democratic than the Thai Royal Family, is unhappy, saying:
“The EU expresses its deep concern about the damaging effects of a guilty verdict, and the ensuing conviction, on freedom of expression in Thailand by criminalising intermediaries for content posted by other internet users on websites.”
WHAT news on Luka Magnotta, born Eric Clinton Newman, the alleged cat killer and former porn star wanted in connection with a hacked to pieces body doing the rounds in Canada? A torso was found in a bag in Montreal; a severed foot was sent to Canada’s Tory HQ; a severed foot to the country’s Liberals HQ; all body parts are from the same man.
“Every time I passed by it smelled very bad and there were flies around it. I took a closer look and there were maggots coming out, worms coming out. We opened it up and looked inside and there was a body with no head, just a torso.”
Police have been investigating Magnotta’s appartment close to where the torso was found. Richard Payette lives across the hall. Says he:
“I never smelled dead body (before), but I’ve smelled bad meat. If I go by my sense of smell, it certainly wasn’t just hamburgers.”
Did vistors to the website bestgore.com website see the murder? The site advertises itself:
“Warning: Extremely Graphic! You have stumbled upon a website that features gore videos and images. Due to extremely graphic nature of materials found on Best Gore, access is restricted to adults only. If you are 18 years of age or over and wish to be reminded of real life, then be my guest, but do NOT take the warning lightly. Videos and images posted on Best Gore are bloody, gut wrenching, teeth grinding, offensive and upsetting. Just as the life itself.”
WHAT did Queen Elizabeth 2 look like and what did she do before she became Queen – before she had children of her own? When Her Majesty was plain old Princess Lilibet, what was she like? We’ve put together a fantastic gallery of images of QE2 as a baby, toddler, girl, teenager and young woman:
BACK in the days before the internet, computer porn was made up of number, letters and anything else the keyboard could cough up. The ASCII pr0n was that vintage erotica. No need for an actual model. All you needed for ASCII pron was a keyboard, text editor an a dirty mind.
THE Grand Prix season can be dull. But at least a reporter on it should be bothered to check the facts. The New York Times’Brad Spurgeon seems intend on undermining the sport and Mark Webber’s victory in Monaco. So far this season, F1 has seen six different winners in the opening six races. Says Spurgeon, who reprots on the races:
“In the end, it was a typical Monaco Grand Prix procession: The man on pole finished first, the man who started second finished second…”
How typical is that, then? Not very. Between 1989 and 2007, the first two on the starting grid never finished in that order. Last year, like this year, the one-two on the grid did fishing first and second. In the past ten races, that did not happen in 2010, 2009, 2008, 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003 and 2002.
AS concerns grow about the possibility of an intolerant reception for black players and supporters heading for the European football championship in Ukraine, shocking scenes were broadcast around the world from that country’s parliament. While a bill was being debated that would give the Russian language equal status to Ukrainian, all hell broke loose. The Ukrainian parliament is called the Rada, but there was no acting involved in this spectacular performance…
TO the Baftas 2012. And do please give a Bafta in 2013 to whoever wrote the links the presenters waded through. As for the red-carpet (actually a Union flag; isn’t walking on the thing what our enemies do?), we’ve got the photos. We’ve also got photos of all the winners:
HAVE you seen the massive Diamond Jubilee tribute to the Royal Family hanging from Sea Containers House in London? It is the largest ever photograph of the Royal Family, measuring 100m by 70m and weighing nearly two tons. Odd, indeed, that photo that large can find no space for Prince William and Harry, or their dear old mum, Lady Diana.
So desperate are the Windsors to pretend to be like the rest of us the surprise is that the advert fails to feature them modelling a signature range of Diamond Jubilee underwear. It’s not hard to image Andrew spending 98% of his life with just his knickers on and Prince Eddie dressed in pleated pyjamas for almost all of his. Anne, of course, doesn’t wear underwear, having been hand sewn into her tweed all-in-one in 1972. Prince Charles doesn’t know what colour his undies are because they pulled onto this loins by a willing footman while it’s still dark.
MORE on Georgia Davis, who stars in the lacklustre Sun on Sunday’s eat ‘n’ tell. The front-page headline has Davis saying:
“I CAN’T STAND UP, MUM”
Davis is her mother Lesley’s carer. If she can’t stand up, how the hell did she get the job?
The Sun’s Sharon Hendry is the woman on the fat beat. Having see her apparently working Davis like a ventriloquist works their dummy, Hendry tells her readers that the 63-stone teenager’s dad Arthur heard the youth cry out: “Mum, I can’t stand up.”
Arthur Treloar, 73, sobbed: “It breaks my heart. She was in so much pain. It’s all MY fault.”
GEORGIA Davis is on the cover of the Daily Mirror. Yesterday we read how 63-stone Georgia was helped from her mother’s home in Aberdare a team of engineers, medics, scaffolders and firemen. The Sun counted a team of 40 rescuers. The Mirror’s Fleet Street Fox spotted 28. The Mail twisted on 30. The Mirror upped the count to 40. Then the Sun has come back with 50. The Sun wins.
Georgia, a registered carer for her mum, Lesley, tipped the scales at 33 stone when she was 15. The tabloids gave her the title ‘Britain’s Fattest Teenager’. Georgia took the media’s money and went to fat camp in the US. She lost half her body weight and then returned home to restart her diet of fat. She ate 13,000 calories a day. It must cost a fortune to feed Georgia Davis.
BEING the president of the most powerful nation of squatting immigrants (that’s you whitey) over in America must be brilliant. Sometimes you get your face carved into the side of a mountain. Sometimes you get to abolish slavery. Sometimes you get your jizz all over Monica Lewinsky (photos).
Yessir, Bill Clinton may have been caught with his pants down, but he never inhaled, which is why he’s still a pretty popular guy around the world. He played saxophone fercryinoutloud! And not in a Tony Blair Awkwardly Playing His Guitar way.
GEORGIA Davis is so gargantuan that when she suffered as seizure the fire brigade, scaffolding engineers and medics had to rip down part of her mum’s home in Aberdare, South Wales, to treat her. Georgia Davis is 19. She weighs an estimated 63 stone. Rescue worked made a 10ft squre hole in her mum’s home through which they extracted Miss Davis with a crane before rolling her onto a ramp. She was then lowered onto a massive stretcher.
Georgia Davis now at a hospital in Merthyr Tydfil, South Wales. She is her mother’s registered carer. Says Lesley Davis, for it is she:
CLOUDS that look like things – the best ones are here. Do you see things in clouds? And, if you do, do you always see the familiar: faces, cuddly animals; people etc.? Might it be that seeing a rabbit in a cloud is not a sign of a big imagination, rather a symptom of a limited one? Still, that for later. Get a lod of that ruddy dolphin:
FLASHBACK to September 21, 2003, and Ohio’s Akron Beacon has news of an unusual crime:
A 38-year-old Cole Avenue man reported that his home was invaded on Sept. 9. The man said he was sitting home alone masturbating and watching a pornographic movie when a man came down into the basement, holding a gun, and started to videotape him. The man said that before he left, the intruder fed his dog some mushrooms and the dog died.
THE 1951 Festival of Britain aimed to break all that post-war austerity with a display if the best of British art, design and industry. It would cost a packet but what the heck. Britain would show the subjects and the world that when it came to science, technology, graft and a rosey-fingered dawn, Great Briain was tops… Of the big venues, only the Royal Festival Hall remains. The Dome of Discovery went; its dismantling necessary for the largest sheet of glass in the world to be taken away – the Dome had been built around it. The Indian railway engine – the wrong gauge for British tracks – was removed by sea. And the Skylon – the 300ft sky-high pylon that pointed to the stars where dreams are made – was torn down. The metal was used for weapons.
Here is the gallery of the maps to get you around the festival, the sights, the buildings and that Skylon:
JOEY Barton has been sacked as Queens Park Rangers captain following his 12-match ban and £75,000 FA fine for acts of stupidity and violence on the Manchester City pitch. In the Times, Rory Smith writes:
‘He was jeered by his own fans when substituted against Liverpool, a game, in his absence, that QPR managed to win; just as they survived his recklessness at the Etihad Stadium.’
QPR lost on the final day of the season at the Etihad, when City won the Premier League title. Had Bolton Wanderers not been let down by some horrible refereeing at Stoke City, QPR would not have survived to face another season of top-flight football.
But odder than that reworking of the facts is the Times‘ football editor Tony Evans’ comment piece. In it, Evans says:
‘Joey Barton’s Twitter profile sums up his lack of awareness…the 29-year-old has laid bare the scale of his lack of self-awareness. He has attempted to use Twitter as a vehicle to restyle his image.’
YESTERDAY saw the relaunch of the pan-European 116000 missing children hotline at a Downing Street reception hosted by Home Secretary Theresa May. Tomorrow, it’s International Missing Children’s Day. Furthermore, www.missingkids.co.uk, the country’s official website for news on missing children, has been updated. A pre-summer holiday push is going on.
Which leads news hounds to Kate McCann, who was there. Which, in turn, leads to a story in the Daily Express:
LADY Gaga has been to the Far East. The woman who would have been the white Grace Jones had Madonna not beaten her to it has been in Hong Kong, Japan, Thailand, Indonesia and the Philippines. In Manila, some Christians say Lady Gaga is the devil incarnate and must be banned for: a) taking Jesus’ name in vain; and/or b) not billing herself as Lady LaLa, thereby helping the ticket bookers handle the phones with minimal confusion. In these photos, look out for the religionists and the fans, some of whom might actually be GaGa blowing her own trumpet, ecumenically speaking…
Two missionaries Jong from the Netherlands, left, and Luciano Fernori from Italy hold signs as they call for the cancellation of a concert of U.S. pop star Lady Gaga just outside the venue for her concert in Seoul, South Korea, Friday, April 27, 2012. (AP Photo/Lee Jin-man)
PRISCILLA Chan is now what Americans call Mrs Mark Zuckerberg. . Husband and wife now both get to call Mrs Zuckeberg ‘mom’. Psychiatrists, take that and run with it. Can is, of course, the Harvard graduate who presented Zuckenberg with a list of dating rules when she moved to be near him in Palo Alto, according to Sarah Lacy’s book Once You’re Lucky, Twice You’re Good. As the book told us:
One date per week, a minimum of a hundred minutes of alone time, not in his apartment and definitely not at Facebook.