VANITY Wonder is the woman lifting the lid on the world of black market buttock injections. In Shot Girls, Vanity revela such moments as meeting Luxor:
Her breasts were huge and she had a big jiggly booty. She was over 6ft tall though, with huge hands and feet and her voice was kind of, well, deep. I blew it off like maybe she was just a big woman.
While the two of them caught up, Luxor brashly instructed Casey to put the numbing ointment on me and Denim. He called us over one at a time and rubbed a gel on our butts, then covered them with saran wrap. When I pulled my pants down, he was surprised.
“OH! You smell just like baby powder! It’s nice to get somebody in here that smell good. Some of these girls come in here smellin’ so bad!” he said.
THE European Championships are underway. But what’s the best fan outfit the cameras have picked out for us? The Dutch love the orange and goalkeeper’s gloves; the Irish love shiny green suits and leprechauns; the Swedes have a passion for cross-dressing; and the English fancy militant Christianity. Let’s take a look at the best outfits on show in Poland and the Ukraine:
NICK D’Arcy and Kenrick Monk are Austrlian Olympic swimmers. They posted photographs of themselves posing with guns on Facebook. No, not their own guns used in crime. These were hired guns they’d been firing legally on a shooting range in California.
As D’Arcy said.
“It was pretty fantastic to be honest, because we don’t get that opportunity at home. It was just a bit of fun,” D’Arcy told reporters at Brisbane Airport on Friday. It was all just meant to be a bit of fun. If anyone’s been offended I deeply apologise. It was never the intent, it was never supposed to be offensive.”
ANORAK presents a history of football club shirt changes, featuring: Cardiff City, Arsenal, Manchester United, Leeds United, Millwall, Juventus, Coventry City and Crystal Palace…
AMID all the Euro hype, one piece of football news has largely slipped under the radar: Cardiff CityFC have confirmed what many suspected – that they will now play in red, because the colour is more appealing to the club’s Malaysian owners than the traditional blue strip.
LUKE Magnotta, born Eric Newman, is the international tabloid star. The Daily Mirror leads with the headline:
“MY BABY-FACED CANNIBAL”
Magnotta is accused of murdered Justin (Jun) Lin in Montreal, chopping up his body – and posting a foot and a hand to political parties in Canada. He’s not been convicted. He’s had not trial. But still the Mirror yells:
“He was a time bomb waiting to explode”: Aunt of ‘cannibal killer’ tells of his weird childhood – Investigators are trying to unravel his sick fantasy world, which began in the Toronto suburbs where he grew up – and spread to London
This is how it is. The British tabloids will stop prejudicing domestic trails and turn their attention to foreigners. The Mirror realises that a Canadian suspect might not travel, so it reminds readers that Magnotta lived for while in London. And, no, he was not arrested in the UK, and never did murder anyone.
Back then, in 1993, he was a painfully shy 11-year-old who retreated into a fantasy world to forget his nightmarish home life. In a bid to impress his disbelieving classmates, he spun incredibly outlandish tales – something he continued to do long after leaving school. As an adult, he’d lie about being the lover of Canada’s most notorious female killer.
His flesh was not eaten with a knife and fork. ****** takes a knife and fork to the man’s ass (in a pathetically inept manner, I might add) and, when he finally succeeds in obtaining a chunk of fat, he goes off screen with it and shortly returns with his pet (possibly a puppy, it is hard to tell because of the video quality). He lets it nibble at the stump of the right leg. This brings me to my most blog-relevant point. It was a large piece of ass-fat. I mean…really. If the dude succeeded in eating that without gagging, I’d be very surprised. I would be similarly surprised if he even tried. It has been noted in many articles that the man got his start by posting videos on the internet such videos as Christmas Python (in which a python consumes a kitten). The man obviously enjoys the attention he gets from feeding his pets. I am 99.999999999% certain he was merely cutting off a piece to feed another pet, not so that he himself could eat it.
When I say those crazy Canadians are at it again, this time I mean it. Luka Magnotta [allegedly] murdered Justin Lin, a student, with an ice-pick, a knife and fork, had intercourse with the stump, let his rabbit lick it, then preceded to shove a wine bottle up the corpse’s orifice. Mind you, he did this all on tape and uploaded it to the internet. The video was pulled so quick from most major sites, that some speculate it doesn’t exist. Believe me it does.
Meanwhile, the Daily Mail finds something to blame for Jun Lin ‘s murder. No, not the killer:
Canadian ‘Cannibal killer’ suspect Luka Magnotta is believed to have been inspired by a violent video game starring Christopher Walken as a futuristic serial killer called Vince Magnotta who is addicted to butchering his victims.
Believed by whom?
Hollywood actor Walken starred in the 1996 video game Ripper, a gruesome adventure which sees a brutal serial killer terrorising New York in the year 2040.
And this would be the game in which Christopher Walken plays not the killer, rather Detective Vince Magnotta? It would be, yes. Luka Magnotta is 29. In 1996, when the game came out he would have been aged 13.
Techdirt picks up on news that without the internet, Magnotta would not have committed his crimes. An expert knows:
Without the web, “the butcher of Montreal would not exist,” Mr. de Boni concludes. “This killer character is a narcissistic and deviant avatar, one of many virtual identities he invented in order to create celebrity.”
Did Canada’s alleged cannibal killer Luka Magnotta strike in LA?
The remains of Hervey Medellin, 66, were found by the famous Hollywood sign. Says Los Angeles police spokesman Officer Lyle Knight:
“The body parts are the common denominator here. That’s why our investigators want to talk to the Canadians. We want to know if his whereabouts included Hollywood because we understand he was in the acting field and Hollywood being the acting and movie mecca, we want to know.”
As Magnotta is linked to every unsolved murder in the Western hemisphere, Canada’s Star newspaper asks:
Luka Rocco Magnotta: Is accused killer a ‘psychopath?’
Experts arrive to state:
“They can be very nice guys and powerfully persuasive, the kind of guy you want to have a beer with,” says Gregg McCrary, a former FBI agent…
Michael Woodworth, associate professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia, said it’s not yet clear whether Magnotta is a psychopath…
“Saying he has narcissistic personality disorder, that would not be a stretch,” he said. “That’s as clear as water.”…
The paper concludes:
What experts can agree on is that more information is needed, especially about Magnotta’s childhood…
Back, then, to the Daily Mirror:
His upbringing was certainly brutal – and at least one of his relatives always suspected there was something seriously wrong. An aunt, who asked not to be identified, said: “He is a nut job – he was a time bomb waiting to explode.” His parents – Anna Yourkin and Donald Newman – were just teenagers when he was born and they split up soon after. Eric was then brought up mainly by his domineering granny Phyllis Yourkin. Beatings were common and Eric – the eldest of three – took the brunt of his grandmother’s temper.
What else do we know?
…at 12 he hurled a chair at a teacher.
And… Nothing. That’s it. The aunt adds:
“He is mentally ill. He has delusions of grandeur. He concocts stories and they, in turn, become fact in his mind. This family, from the head down, is very dysfunctional. The essence of this whole story is parenting – or the lack of it. The grandmother is very controlling, and if you have a submissive personality, she will do what she wants.”
Good to know that Magnotta has a caring aunt to watch his back.
The last word is with another expert:
Criminal profiler Lee Mellor has written a book on 60 Canadian serial killers. He says the alleged Cannibal Killer is a text-book example of a child starved of affection, who goes from making up stories to harming helpless animals to murder. And he said it was likely there were other victims waiting to be discovered. He warned: “I would not be surprised to find that Magnotta was responsible for at least one or two previous homicides.”
Or three or four. Or why not five or six. Or why not wait until the trial starts and the facts emerge..?
ICE Hockey. How can it be made more interesting? Cue Taylor Stevens and her pucks. You might have potted Stevens sat behind the the New Jersey Devils dug out for Game 4 of the 2012 Stanley Cup Final. That the adult entertainer by team coach Peter DeBoer’s ear.
To her fans, Stevens tweeted:
“Yup those are my #boobies against the glass #StanleyCupFinals #kings yaay if u see me on tv lemme know.”
And with that #BoobsBehindDeBoer trended on twitter.
All power to her. And expect more of the same. Paul Bissonnette thank Stevens for giving CBC “it’s biggest viewing audience in network history and half the people didn’t even notice the game.”
MELISSA Stetten – tagline: ‘Just trying to keep up with the Kardashians’ – is, allegedly, tweeting her chat with marrried actor and father Brian Presley. Presley, a pastor’s son, is a devout Christian.He saysJesus helped him kick the demon drink and stay sober. Presley is married to Erin Hershey.
“Who opens the windows on a redeye flight? Brian does. Fucking Brian.”
THE burka took off because the loving mum wanted the focus of attention to be on her beautiful children. So as not to distract the admirer’s gaze, the mother became invisible. It was all the rage in the 1800s, as these photos prove. ‘This was a practice where the mother, often disguised or hiding, often under a spread, holds her baby tightly for the photographer to insure a sharply focused image,” saysThe Hidden Mother. Stop stealing the limelight, mum, and grab a burka:
MEET Yovanka Bryant and her lawyer, the ubiquitous Gloria Allred. Bryant’s claim to fame is that she dated Rudy Eugene, the man killed by police as she chewed the face off Ronald Poppo in Miami (photos NSFW).
Allred is there to “help her have a voice”.
And what do we learn? Well, we hear that Bryant says that Eugene, whom she dated for four months, would have been a great dad to her kids. Bryant says the happy couple studied the Bible and the Koran, and watched religious TV programs. She says she never saw him use drugs. She says if he was on drugs, he was tricked into taking them. Reports are that Eugene had marijuana in his system, and had form for possession.
TUMBLR site of the day is OK Cupid Enemies, pages that document the best of the OK Cupid dating site. Sadly, lovelorn Julian Assange is otherwise engaged right now, but others are available. Browse the talent:
LINDSAY Lohan is Elizabeth Taylor for a new Lifetime TV film. Indeed, it’s some news that the ambulatory tabloid shocker is an actress. It was only in May we read that Lohan was being sued by Nevad’s Tanning Vegas, for not paying her $40,000 tanning bill.
That’s a lot of money to spend on the juice that rises to the top of jars of meat paste blended with Orange Chewits. But Lohan is worth it. It’s just a shame she never went for the $50,000 deal, which included a weekend being pulled across the face of the sun by the experts at the Las Vegas Rotisserie.
ROCK stars are great . They have long hair that gets thicker and thicker as their fame surges; perfect teeth that never go missing and groupies as a utility. But what did they look like when younger? Like this:
KYRON Horman: Desiree Young, Kyron Horman’s bith mother, is suing the missing boy’s step-mother, Terri Horman – the last person we know to have seen Kyron on June 4, 2010, the day he went missing in Portland, Oregon.
Young, married to local cop, suing Horman for “custodial interference” – keeping a parent from their child “permanently or for a protracted period.”
Only, Terri Horman has been convicted of no crime. She has been charged with no crime. We do not know if any crime befell Kyron Horman. All we know is that two years ago the seven-year-old went missing form his school in Portland, Oregon.
LUKA Magnotta is now a tabloid star. The former “porn star” / “model” / James Dean look alike (he had surgery to look like his idol) / suspected kitten killer and massive self-promoter on the internet is wanted by Canadian police in connection with a dismembered body, parts of which have been posted to the country’s politicians.
You might watched user “Luke Magnotta” apparently murdering and then sexually assaulting a man on a snuff website. The film is called1 Lunatic 1 Ice Pic.
Now you can read about him in the Sun, which screams from its front page:
“I CAN’T STOP KILLING”
The Sun says it has heard from the alleged killer.
Cannibal on run after ‘chopping up man’ warned The Sun: I can’t stop killing – First he fed kitten to snake on sick vid & we alerted cops but they did nothing
What a scoop! The wanted man had made contact with the British newspaper. The British newspaper knows for certain Magnotta killed cats by suffocation. And it knows it all just from watching a view and reading an email. Call off the police. The Sun has cracked it.
TO Thailand, where Chiranuch Premchaiporn, 44, director of the Prachatai website, has been handed an eight-month suspended sentence and $630 fine for failing to act quickly enough to remove reader comments posts deemed insulting to Thailand’s royalty.
The European Union, an institution marginally less democratic than the Thai Royal Family, is unhappy, saying:
“The EU expresses its deep concern about the damaging effects of a guilty verdict, and the ensuing conviction, on freedom of expression in Thailand by criminalising intermediaries for content posted by other internet users on websites.”
WHAT news on Luka Magnotta, born Eric Clinton Newman, the alleged cat killer and former porn star wanted in connection with a hacked to pieces body doing the rounds in Canada? A torso was found in a bag in Montreal; a severed foot was sent to Canada’s Tory HQ; a severed foot to the country’s Liberals HQ; all body parts are from the same man.
“Every time I passed by it smelled very bad and there were flies around it. I took a closer look and there were maggots coming out, worms coming out. We opened it up and looked inside and there was a body with no head, just a torso.”
Police have been investigating Magnotta’s appartment close to where the torso was found. Richard Payette lives across the hall. Says he:
“I never smelled dead body (before), but I’ve smelled bad meat. If I go by my sense of smell, it certainly wasn’t just hamburgers.”
Did vistors to the website bestgore.com website see the murder? The site advertises itself:
“Warning: Extremely Graphic! You have stumbled upon a website that features gore videos and images. Due to extremely graphic nature of materials found on Best Gore, access is restricted to adults only. If you are 18 years of age or over and wish to be reminded of real life, then be my guest, but do NOT take the warning lightly. Videos and images posted on Best Gore are bloody, gut wrenching, teeth grinding, offensive and upsetting. Just as the life itself.”
WHAT did Queen Elizabeth 2 look like and what did she do before she became Queen – before she had children of her own? When Her Majesty was plain old Princess Lilibet, what was she like? We’ve put together a fantastic gallery of images of QE2 as a baby, toddler, girl, teenager and young woman:
BACK in the days before the internet, computer porn was made up of number, letters and anything else the keyboard could cough up. The ASCII pr0n was that vintage erotica. No need for an actual model. All you needed for ASCII pron was a keyboard, text editor an a dirty mind.
THE Grand Prix season can be dull. But at least a reporter on it should be bothered to check the facts. The New York Times’Brad Spurgeon seems intend on undermining the sport and Mark Webber’s victory in Monaco. So far this season, F1 has seen six different winners in the opening six races. Says Spurgeon, who reprots on the races:
“In the end, it was a typical Monaco Grand Prix procession: The man on pole finished first, the man who started second finished second…”
How typical is that, then? Not very. Between 1989 and 2007, the first two on the starting grid never finished in that order. Last year, like this year, the one-two on the grid did fishing first and second. In the past ten races, that did not happen in 2010, 2009, 2008, 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003 and 2002.
AS concerns grow about the possibility of an intolerant reception for black players and supporters heading for the European football championship in Ukraine, shocking scenes were broadcast around the world from that country’s parliament. While a bill was being debated that would give the Russian language equal status to Ukrainian, all hell broke loose. The Ukrainian parliament is called the Rada, but there was no acting involved in this spectacular performance…