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CANNABIS farms are big news. Sadly, the stuff remains illegal even to ill people it could help. TV home makeover shows looking to stay relevant in a recession will not feature the Marijuana Mezzanine.
But weed is being grown in homes. And we should be worried. Former policeman Phil Butler says cannabis farmers are stealing around £200m worth of electricity across the UK every year.
The Association of Chief Police Officer says police uncover more than 21 cannabis farms every day. Since, 2010, the coppers have seized 1.1 million plants. They estimate the crops’ value at £207m. Maybe the stuff could be sold as medical marijuana and the money used to pay for the criminals’ court cases and incarceration? Or they could just burn it, or give it away.
The police figures tells us that at least 15,330 cannabis farms have been in the past two years. That means each farm, on average, holds about 72 plants. But some farms are much larger. In 2010, one farm uncovered in Essex housed 8,000 plants.
FAMOUS women with beards. Because one day this will be fashionable:
Featuring: Sarah Silverman Shakira, Kate Beckinsale, Tina O’Brien, Sasha Alexander, Lady Philippa Middleton, Sarah Dunn, Juliette Binoche, Penelope Cruz, Margarita Levieva, Mila Kunis,Michelle Rodriguez, Minka Kelly, Thandie Newton, Alicia Keys, Ashley Tisdale, Joss Stone, Amanda Peet, Ali Landry, Adriana Lima, Jessica Alba, Denise Richards, Nicole Scherzinger, Princess Beatrice, Alicia Silverstone, Angelina Jolie, Katy Perry, Emma Stone.
NATALIE Esack was murdered in her Esack Hair & Beauty salon on the High Street in Ashford, Kent. Her estranged husband, Ivan Escak, has been arrested on suspicion of killing her. He used to be a policeman. Now he works, says the Daily Mail, as a “football agent”.
A neighbour arrives to say that he was always a wrong un, had shifty eyes and they knew something terrible was about to happen. No, not really. The unnamed source tells the Mail that Mr Esack is “outgoing” and has ambitions to become a local councillor, and together the Esacks were “pleasant”. A former collage of Mrs Esack’s says she was “bubbly”, and given the circumstances of her violent death, bizarrely adds: “You will not find a single person with a negative thing to say about her.”
Not one. Really?
THAT sound you hear is the popping of champagne corks in the offices of Katie Price’s divorce lawyers. Jordan is getting married! She’s engaged to Leandro Penna. It will be great marriage. It will be last for years and years and create a legend.
But we need to ask: is she sure? We recall that Katie and Leandro don’t speak the same language. Granted, Jawdin doesn’t speak the same language as most of us, but with Leandro the barrier is more acute.
“The connection we have is so intense. Like sometimes I’ll be sitting and moving my head from side to side and she will know I’m…”
Listening to Stevie Wonder?
“…looking for the remote control.”
MORE on Mario Balotelli, the unmarried Manchester City striker who allegedly shagged Chloe Evans. Having said Balotelli was crap in bed (maybe it was you, Chloe?), the kiss ‘n’ teller is reported telling the Sun about the “crazy lifestyle of soccer badboy Mario Balotelli”.
The soccer badboy is a talented 21-year-old finding his feet working and living in a foreign country. Balotelli has embraced the prevailing culture by shagging tabloid-friendly English birds and allowing his bathroom to be the venue for a Bonfire Night do. The fire brigade was called and Balotelli’s friends (because it was them – really it was) would to well to read the full firework code, especially the bit about returning to a smouldering toilet roll. But, still, for the Italian Catholic import to be celebrating the death of the Papist Gunpowder Plot is admirable.
Balotelli did say that Manchester “is not to my tastes”. But no great hurt in that. Most Manchester United fans who only ever see the city’s wide open green spaces and ordered seating on the telly agree. And he can always commute from London or Abu Dhabi.
THE best / worst juxtaposed images of the day might not be all accidental. Who would want to be the poor sod with the camera on the front page of The Sunshine Cost Daily’s front-page warning over paedophiles? Is Santa Claus a “child porn kingpin”, as The Times of South Africa seems to be saying? Is the Journal Sentinel having at the late Ted Kennedy? Let’s take a look..? Those infamous Costa Concordia pages are here.
IN today’s extract from Bullshit.com – How To Making Your Website Like The Daily Mail’s, we turn back the clock to July 2009. Bettina Vetta is showcasing the Mail’s new editorial policy of finding photos of a celebrities riding high on the news cycle and making up a story around them. “Insert caption here”, if you please…
MANCHESTER City striker Mario Balotelli has had sex with Cheadle’s Chloe Evans. Well, so says Chloe Evans, a woman seemingly well placed to see what’s on top of her. Having heard of Balotelli’s sex with “Wayne Rooney hooker” Jenny Thompson, the Sun know hears Evans claim that she too has enabled the Italian footballer to cheat on his usual lover Raffaella Fico.
Allegations from “pretty” Chloe are:
Chloe: “Mario hates pubic hair and before I had ever slept with him he asked me, ‘Do you shave the hair of the p**** ?’ I just laughed and told him not to be so nosey.”
Ruddy curtain twitcher. Go on:
Chloe: “He always shaves all the hair off down below, I’ve never seen him with anything there over all the time I’ve known him.”
Mario loves a Brazilian. Read all about it!
Chloe: “He wasn’t a bad lover as such — let’s just say he liked to take a long time about things. He said sex helped him be better at football, that it improved his stamina. But I had to fake it in the bedroom. Every time.”
TAMARA Favazza is topless. You can see her 20-year-old naked chest on Joe Francis’s Girls Gone Wild. But Tamara Favazza is not happy the breasts bared in 2004 made it onto the racy tape. She says her breasts were exposed and recorded without her say so. She has sued Mantra Films Inc and MRA Holdings LLC, makers of Girls Gone Wild, and won $5.77million.
She never wanted anyone to see her boobs. But the idiot who lifted up her top in St Louis’ Rum Jungle bar did. That idiot was a contract worker for Girls Gone Wild. The moment was captured on camera. And that footage made it onto the seminal movie “Girls Gone Wild Sorority Orgy“.
Yep. Flashing breasts in a bar is an “orgy”. Those disappointed by the tape may care to take out their own class action for crimes against masturbation.
Tony Parsons (Daily Mirror): “Madeleine McCann and her parent’s love that will never die”
Seeing the picture of how Madeleine might look today brought home again the suffering of the McCanns, a mountain of unimaginable pain
Tony Parsons has written about Madeleine McCann before.
The human megaphone has wondered about where his child has gotten to; he has invited the Portuguese ambassador to “shut your stupid sardine-munching mouth”; he has seen Jesus; and he has seen a link between the missing child and the murders of Catherine and Ben Mullany on honeymoon in Antigua.
PHOTOS of the day is a vintage collection form yesteryear. Look out for Bilko; getting up with Spam; the wonderful Betty Page; a question: Should wives be spanked?; a China Elvis Christmas tree; the World War 2 anti-Nazi bra; Blighty magazine; and three survive UFO attack!…