Key Posts Category
Normally the only sounds disturbing the peace of our university towns come from sound systems and pizza delivery bikes, and the only horseshit is that which emanates from the social science department. That all changed this year, with the expansion in operations at UniBaggage.com, a company which hitherto concerned itself with transporting students’ worldly possessions to and from their alma mater. The company now offers a Very Important Fresher service, which allows students to ‘arrive with champagne in hand, to start as you mean to go on’.
MADELEINE McCann is back in the news. Sky News is with “TROLLS” who have abused the missing child’s parents online. There is not a shred of proof Kate and Gerry McCann were involved in their daughter’s vanishing. But people say nasty things online.
Some ‘trolls’ used to say them in the Press. The McCanns were libeled. They won damages.
The media was unable to stick to the most basic facts. This was single thread story being spun. A child had gone missing. That was the only fact.
Today, Sky introduces us to a woman who tweetes by the name “Sleepy Face”. Cameras are outside her home. The voiceover alleges she says vile things “from the heart of this peaceful village”, as if location matters. Sleepyface, a presentable middle-aged woman, tells Sky she hopes she has broken no laws.
We know Donald Trump is a bit thick, but today he excelled himself… and that’s saying something.
In the past, he’s spat that Barack Obama isn’t a real American, demanding to see passports and all that, while back in the ’70s, he was accused of being a massive racist when he called for the death penalty in full page adverts of three black teenagers who were accused of raping a jogger, but exonerated. Oh, and in a book, John R. O’Donnell – former president of Trump Plaza Hotel & Casino – said that Donald once uttered that “laziness is a trait in blacks”.
This isn’t all old news though. Only last year, Trump tweeted that: “According to Bill O’Reilly, 80% of all the shootings in New York City are blacks-if you add Hispanics, that figure goes to 98%, 1% white”.
He’s also made wild claims that vaccines are related to autism, which has been proven to be a complete crock.
STOP Press: Sir Roger Moore clarifies and corrects an earlier Torquay Herald Express exclusive. The former Mr James Bond did not eat Scotch Egg on the Devon costa:
He shunned the Scotch Egg…
THE Mirror’s Brian Reade wants to talk about the problem of grown men exercising their right to free speech. Not everyone gets paid to comment, like a by-lined journalist does. Some people just talk and tweet and write with no concern for deadline or encouraging reader interest and clicks.
Reade begins his columns by explaining how things were great in the days of Roy Race, a fictional footballer who existed in a comic. Reade delivers some Melchester Rovers banter:
FAN: “You were lucky today, Roy.”
ROY: “Really? I thought we had your lot on the run.”
FAN: “Our lot run? That’ll be the day.”
ROY: “Ha ha. That’s a bit unfair on your lads.”
THE BBC very much regrest including the face of dead DJ Jimmy Savile during a Top Of The Pops highlights show this September. Sir Jimmy, as he was known at the time of filming (the repugnant man was both a Papal knight and knight of the realm), is not a BBC highlight and must be shown only on the news.
The BBC says:
“Although all programmes are reviewed before broadcast, unfortunately this brief appearance was missed. It was removed from iPlayer as soon as we were made aware and replaced with a re-edited version. We apologise for any distress caused.”
THE British Association of Bra Makers salutes the work of Tampa massage therapist, Jasmine Tridevil, who underwent surgery to get just a third breast – and give the bra business a new lease of life.
Tridevil (real name?) tells Orlando’s Real Radio 104.1 that the trio of breasts (or Tridevil Dumplings as they must be called) cost her $20,000.
“It was really hard finding someone that would do it too because they’re breaking the code of ethic.”
The medics used silicone and skin tissue from her stomach to create the breast and a tattoo to make a nipple.
Only Hereditary Journalists And The Well-Connected Can Afford To Send Their Children To State Schools
IS private schooling fair? Janice Turner writes in the Times:
Having experienced both systems, I agree with Jonathan Leigh, Master of Marlborough College. Private schools must avoid becoming “isolated enclaves of privilege”, he said this week, by engaging with the local community and neighbouring state schools. Maybe not least for the benefit of their own cocooned kids.
It’s about playing fields. They’re not level. The private school parents have to pay a fortune for greenery; the state-school pupils have to find gaps between housing schemes.
READER the The Real Stig has a view on the killing in Koh Tao, Thailand of British backpacker Hannah Witheridge and fellow tourist David Miller.
The Thai junta chief and prime minister Prayut Chan-O-Cha appeared to call into question the conduct of the victim as well as the attackers.
“We have to look into the behaviour of the other party, too, because this kind of incident should not happen to anybody and it has affected our image,’ he told reporters today, referring to the two tourists. Speaking a few hours later, he said Thai authorities must tell ‘tourists when the safe times are to be outside, we have to help them understand.”
Is Thailand as safe and welcoming as thery would Westerners believe?
In 2006, two Thai fishermen confessed to the rape and murder of the British backpacker Katherine Horton.
In 2009, three migrant workers murderd Malcolm Robertson with a hammer.
In 2012, Stephen Ashton was killed in the crossfire between two Thai gangs.
The Foreign and Commonwealth Office says 11 Britons have been murdered in Thailand since 2009.
IN September 1994, a reel-to-reel tape emerged and was put up for auction. Sotheby’s were all over it because this wasn’t any old recording they had on their hands.
What had arrived was a reel to reel tape of The Quarry Men appearing at St Peter’s Parish Church garden party Liverpool in July, 1957.
The Quarry Men would of course, turn into The Beatles, who are still the biggest band in the whole wide world. The tape went for what is a reasonably low price of £69,000. That wouldn’t buy one leg of a Champion’s League footballer in 2014.
So with that, we got to thinking about famous rock stars, pop singers and rappers before they were famous. Of course, there’s a lot of them who were on television and there’s yearbook photos of just about every celebrity online, but we wanted to look at the music they were making and the evidence of it.
Pull up a chair, remove the wax from your ear and let’s get stuck into rock’s flipside.
MANCHESTER United’s record signing Angel Di Maria scored against QPR, so proving that £200m can buy a club out of a trouble.
As the ball hit the net. Sky Sport’s Martin Tyler oozed:
“We’ve seen some Angel delight here today.”
Angel delight. We’ll try to keep track of the number of times that pun is used. The question “how do you solve a problem like Di Maria?” will also be looked out for.
FREE Speech looks to the Economist, a magazine read by business suits and people keen to appear smart and knowing. But the Economist is no leader, no thought provoker. It’s a publication as uncertain as a worm in flip-flops.
The Economist published a review of Edward Baptist’s “The Half Has Never Been Told: Slavery and the Making of American Capitalism”. The review ends with the line:
Almost all the blacks in his book are victims, almost all the whites villains. This is not history; it is advocacy.
An odd view, for sure. Not all whites supported slavery; but blacks were the enslaved victims.
So. Cue the Twitter mob. Outraged they wrote in.
Baptist told TalkingPointsMemo: “Maybe this is crass, but I did realize as soon as I read it that this is not actually going to hurt. It has definitely enhanced my Amazon ranking.”
So. What did the Economist do? It became a non review. It was given its own page, so as not to pollute the rest of the ‘newspaper’s’ website. And it is now topped by an apology:
Apology: In our review of “The Half Has Never Been Told: Slavery and the Making of American Capitalism” by Edward Baptist, we said: “Mr Baptist has not written an objective history of slavery. Almost all the blacks in his book are victims, almost all the whites villains.” There has been widespread criticism of this, and rightly so. Slavery was an evil system, in which the great majority of victims were blacks, and the great majority of whites involved in slavery were willing participants and beneficiaries of that evil. We regret having published this and apologise for having done so. We have therefore withdrawn the review, but in the interests of transparency the text remains available only on this special page and appears below.
THIS photo from a Twitter user in Japan and shared through the Twitter account Wadai Tweet shows a whole pig wrapped in plastic at a grocery store. The store isn’t identified but the price is 30,000 yen.
It’s like a warning not to put your head in a plastic bag.
BRITISH soul music is in a very, very good place at the moment and one of the leading lights of the scene is the wonderful Sam Smith, who has just announced a big ol’ UK tour for Spring 2015.
Smith just reached number one in the album charts and is currently being wooed by America, which will either make him or break him into a puddle of nervous breakdown.
Of course, Sam Smith isn’t the first soul singer Britain has produced, but his success is worth looking back at some of Blighty’s finest balladeers and belters.
Britain has a much richer seam of soul music (and blue-eyed soul) than you think. Of course, Adele conquered the entire world and Beverley Knight has stuck it out for years.
Let’s have a look at some of the best.
The current champion of Britsoul, Sam Smith, who has cut a fine furrow himself, along with making some great songs with Disclosure and Chic’s Nile Rodgers.
If there was a title for the greatest British soul singer of all time, Amy Winehouse would absolutely be in with a shout. Dead too young, but with a couple of killer albums released in her lifetime, making the rest of pop immediately up its game.
MNEK has gone from writing for others to making a go of it himself and, by God, we’ve needed him. Mixing ’90s R&B sensibilities with modern pop and dance music, he’s creating some of the best music in the world right now and if we don’t make a megastar out of him, we frankly don’t deserve the ears on our heads and the ass in our pants.
Cymande are an overlooked London funk outfit from the ’70s who ended up being sampled by De La Soul, thereby giving salivating record collectors and sample hunters a second stab at hearing their terrific music.
Few could argue that Britain has produced a better soul artist than Dusty Springfield. No-one channelled the feeling of a song quite like her and that remarkable, unique voice of hers is one that’ll never be copied.
You may remember Estelle’s ‘American Boy’, which featured a Kanye West verse, but there’s more to her than that one big smash. That said, if you’re going to go global with a record, ‘American Boy’ isn’t a bad one at all.
The critics favourite, Laura Mvula has melted the hearts of everyone with her modern-take on soul. She’s a magnificent artist and, as good as her work is, you get the impression she’s not yet released her best.
London’s R&B champion, Angel, has all the ingredients to be a superstar, so fans of his are enjoying him up close and personal before he ends up vanishing behind the velvet curtain of the VIP section.
Courtney Bennett is one of the most promising singers in Britain right now. She’s put out loads of great songs and was spotted by Ryan Leslie to sing on his ‘Black Mozart’ LP. One of the future, for sure.
Swedish-born, but British raised, Fatima has been making some very interesting and original soul music (‘Circle’ is well worth a listen). Another one who, if we’re not careful, could be huge!
Lianne La Havas
The fabulous Lianne La Havas as dazzled everyone who has seen her live and on record, she’s no slouch either. Mixing jazz, soul and electronics, she’s so good that Prince went ’round her house for a cup of tea.
Another one of Britain’s blue-eyed soulies from the ’60s, Chris Farlowe’s voice is a force of nature. The thing that bellows out of that awkward frame of his provided Immediate Records with some of their best hits. You’ll know him from his famous version of ‘Handbags & Gladrags’.
Lynden David Hall
Britain’s answer to Neo Soul, LDH sadly passed away in 2006, but not before cutting some great records and an amusing appearance in ‘Love Actually’.
Honorary mentions to:
Katy B, Craig David, Alice Russell, Jay Sean, Taio Cruz, Brand New Heavies, Misha Paris, Rebecca Ferguson.
THERE’S a lot of excitement about Aphex Twin at the minute, as he’s back to release a new LP – ‘Syro’ – and, for fans of awkward electronic music (which are, ostensibly, the new prog generation), any appearance of Richard D. James is worth your attention.
However, what with Aphex having a lot of stubborn male fans, if you’re new to it all, you will almost certainly run into some elitist bullshit at some point; even though Aphex Twin is not at all elitist himself, getting angry when people refer to his music as ‘IDM’, which stands for the achingly awful ‘Intelligent Dance Music’.
So, you want to know what the fuss about Aphex Twin is?
Well, we’re here to help and create a beginners/bluffers guide, so you can dip your toe in and find out whether he’s for you or not. He’s got a few pseudonyms too, so he can he quite hard to keep up with, but once you’re in, that’s part of the fun.
Pull up a chair, pop your ears, and let us commence.
Aphex Twin ‘Windowlicker’
Aphex released two of his most popular records back-to-back, with the watershed bothering ‘Come To Daddy’ frightening everyone half to death, and then, the infamous ‘Windowlicker’.
WILF Turnbull and Derk Philpott are two pensioners living in Bournemouth, Dorset. They “write to popstars about their song lyrics, and they often reply.”
Letter Number 1:
Re: Ready To Go
As you may be aware, the house opposite have just had a loft conversion done, which was sadly undertaken by a disreputable contractor, resulting in a profoundly fissured chimney breast, haphazard joists and a shoddily grouted dormer susceptible to complete de-glazing in the face of nothing more potent than an errant shuttlecock.
Once alerted, Bournemouth Borough Council inspectors conducted a thorough inspection of the discreditable garret and, horrified by their findings, insisted upon the ignominious sky parlor being fully ameliorated prior to building approval being granted. Unfortunately, rather than addressing the defects properly, the owners opted for a much more economical ‘botch-job’, which incorporated half a tub of Polyfilla and an unmatching Dulux Tester Pot in an attempted concealment of the afore-mentioned flue crevice.
It was with some dismay, but no little surprise therefore, that my wife Jean and I were awakened this morning by both her PC tablet alarm clock (tuned, obviously, to Bournemouth’s peerless Wave 105.2 FM) and an almighty ruckus coming from across the road. Further investigation from a discreet gap in the curtains revealed that the officials had returned to the slapdash attic, and, thoroughly unimpressed by the frugal and deceptive improvements undertaken, were now teetering precariously astride the tiles and pointing at the stack, angrily and loudly protesting at its deceptive restoration.
It was at this very juncture in the confrontational governing body/extra storey owner proceedings that your “technopop punk classic” came on just after the travel, ”it’s a crack, I’m back yeah standing on the rooftops shouting out” uncannily acting as an eerie narrative to the scene that we were witnessing at that very instant. There, however, any similarity ended; far from being ”ready to go”, the furious officials seemed intent on maintaining their ‘lofty’ position until the matter could be resolved.
Notwithstanding this last incongruity, Jean and I remain extremely impressed by your local authority versus resident soundscaping abilities, although must take issue with your assertion that one week is another world; it is, inactuality not a different planet but a seven day unit ot time.
Finally, Jean has just suggested from the kitchen, where she is toasting a muffin, that in the current climate of so many establishments closing, you may be well advised to consider renaming your indie combo ‘ReWineBarLica’ or ‘ReBeersAtHomeLica’, in order to reflect current trends.
RUSSIAN dash-cam videos are a steady source of entertainement on the web. But this one is extra special.
As one readers on reddit notes, “He’ll never tell a soul what happened that day…”
(Hope it’s real.)
ASHYA King: the story of the child kidnapped by the State and hunted by the police is occupying hearts at the Mirror. The paper scalls it a “SCANDAL”. It says the treatment meted out ot Ashya and his parents Brett and Naghmeh King is “BARBARIC”.
The Mirror is right.
The paper says the parents have been “hauled” before Spanish courts. “Little” Ashya lies in a hospital kept apart from his loved ones.
But what did the Mirror think would happen when the British police issued an alert that Ashya and his parents must be tracked down lest Ashya die?
Now the Mirror says BBC football pundit Gary Lineker has called for the police to release the Kings. A petition calling for the same has attracted tens of thousands of signatures.
Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg says it is “not appropriate” to jail the parents.
The paper’s Alison Phillips oozes:
Little Ashya King lies in a foreign hospital surrounded by staff he can’t understand, struck down by an illness he can’t understand and in the midst of a European drama he can’t understand.
He went to school in Spain. Chances are Ashya speaks Spanish and does understand the doctors. But still Phillips’ article is not based on facts; this is all about how much she and her paper cares for the Kings:
Meanwhile the only people who could give the five-year-old reassurance, explanation, security and love – his parents – are banged up in a Spanish jail. And it is utterly barbaric.
Yeah. It is. And the people that aided the police in their hunt should be ashamed.
Do you know what the Mirror said before Ashya King and his parents became a cause celebre?
Missing Ashya King has been spotted with his parents at a Spanish holiday resort, an expat said, as police battled to find the terminally ill boy.
The good cops were “battling” to find the boy for the oddball parents who let their chidlren play in a swimming pool.
The five-year-old has a deadly brain tumour and experts have warned he needs specialised care immediately. British officers have issued European arrest warrants for “neglect” against Ashya’s Jehovah’s Witness parents Brett, 51, and Naghmeh, 45. They took him from his hospital ward and fled on Thursday.
Their religion is relevant to Mirror. The mood was very much for the police and against the weirdo parents.
The paper recorded the message sent out by Spanish police:
“On the Costa del Sol, family with seven children, one of them needing urgent medical treatment which his parents are denying him. If you see them, phone us.”
These heartless parents denying their poor son the treament he needs. They are, we hear, Jehovah’s Witnesses. Join the dots. Rescue the child from this heartless parents.
The Mirror had more:
Police say that if they do not find five-year-old Ashya King within 24 hours there are ‘serious concerns for his life’
So police say. And so the Mirror did not question.
The Mirror then relayed photos of the parents. They looked a lot like mug shots. We didn’t. We didn’t want to do the police’s nasty work and ask readers to become narks. All papers showed the photos of Brett and Naghemeh King. Why so keen to do the police’s work? Why so keen to make readers into narks?
The Mirror told its readers:
Anyone with information about Ashya’s whereabouts should contact Hampshire Constabulary on 101, quoting Operation Aquilion.
The paper relayed the police’s calls for help without question.
* Assistant Chief Constable Chris Shead said this morning: “It is vital that we find Ashya today. His health will deteriorate rapidly.”
* Hampshire Constabulary said: “We are working with our counterparts in France to activate their emergency child rescue alert procedures to locate the family as soon as possible. If we do not locate Ashya today there are serious concerns for his life. He is receiving constant medical care within the UK due to recent surgery and ongoing medical issues. Without this specialist 24-hour care Ashya is at risk of additional health complications which place him at substantial risk.”
* Detective Superintendent Dick Pearson, from the Hampshire Major Investigation Team, said of Ashya: “He needs to be taken to a medical facility for his urgent health requirements as soon as he is located. We have also launched a social media appeal and would urge everyone to share this appeal, particularly if you have friends and relatives in France and bordering countries.”
* Police have said it is “vital” they find Ashya today. “His health will deteriorate rapidly.” They say his feeding tube is battery operated, and that battery “will run out today”.
* Assistant Chief Constable Chris Shead said Ashya had undergone “extensive surgery” and his last operation was seven days ago. He said: “The information we have received from his medical team at Southampton General Hospital is that he must continue to be fed via a tube by someone with the relevant medical training. If he doesn’t receive urgent medical care, or the wrong treatment is given, his condition will become life-threatening.”
* In a direct appeal to the family, Mr Shead said: “Our message to you is ‘please take Ashya to the nearest hospital immediately’. We understand this must be an awful time for you but the most important thing is to get the proper medical care for Ashya. Please work with us to provide Ashya that care.”
* Mr Shead added: “Ashya is in a wheelchair and is fed through a tube. The feeding system is battery operated and that battery will run out today. Time is running out for this little boy. We need to find him and we need to find him urgently.”
* Assistant Chief Constable Chris Shead said tonight: “Within the last hour, we have been told by medical experts that the battery life on the machine that administers his food is now likely to have expired. We don’t know whether the King family have any spares, the knowledge, or any way of recharging the battery. If they don’t, without properly administered food, Ashya’s condition will deteriorate very quickly.”
* Mr Shead added: “With each hour that passes our concern for him grows.”
And the biggest roll of the eyes is for this utter balls:
Hampshire Police Assistant Chief Constable Chris Shead confirmed the force had obtained a European arrest warrant. He said it was based around “neglect” but added: “That does not necessarily mean they would be charged with that offence.
“It purely gives us the power to arrest and speak to them.”
He went on: “We don’t want the family to be put off by the fact that there is an arrest warrant. We would sooner they speak to us and get Ashya the care he desperately needs.”
Only the police could help Ashya. Only the police could save Ashya The parents just need to see sense.
And, of course, the Kings were arrested. Because that’s what police do.
And now the Mirror calls it “BARBAIC”.
The Mirror was not alone in working for the police. It’s just the most shamless in how it’s changed sides.
You do the police’s bidding without question and you get a police state.
Transfer Balls Awards: Arsenal Sign Cavani And Khedira, Manchester United Get Vidal, Kroos And Hummels – Falcao To Liverpool
TRANSFER Balls: Over the summer Anorak has been highliting the utter balls newspapers and football websites have presnted as fact. Time to review some of the choices cuts. As ever the biggest balls features Liverpool, Arsenal, Manchester United and Cheslea.
The Daily Mail told Manchester United fans that Miranda was on his way to the club from Atlético Madrid. He was looking at local schools for his children. He never left home.
The straw-clutching CaughtOffisde wesbite told its readers that Arsenal had signed Sami Khedira. The player remains at Real Madrid.
MUSIC legend, Lou Adler, is an inductee of the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame and responsible for a frightening amount of hits and given the world so much music that he should be beatified.
Adler founded and co-owned Dunhill Records (Jimmy Buffett, Solomon Burke, Thelma Houston, Steppenwolf, Joe Walsh, Van Der Graaf Generator, Dusty Springfield and more) and was the producer on the label.
After selling Dunhill, he founded Ode Records (Spirit, Carole King, Merry Clayton, Cheech & Chong, The Rocky Horror Picture Show and others) and helped to produce the Woodstock precursor, the Monterey International Pop Festival (where Hendrix famously set fire to his guitar during his version of ‘Wild Thing’).
He also managed surfer boys Jan & Dean, produced Sam Cooke and bagged two Grammy Awards in ’72 for his production skills on ‘It’s Too Late’ by Carole King and the ‘Tapestry’ LP. He’s the owner of the legendary Roxy Theatre on Sunset Strip in West Hollywood. He is best remembered for discovering The Mamas & Papas.
It is little wonder he got himself a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and can often be seen courtside with Jack Nicholson at LA Lakers games.
TODAY is the birthday of one of rock ‘n’ roll’s most legendary men… although, many won’t have ever heard of him. In 1939, in North London, the legendary Clem Cattini was born.
Cattini did shifts in his dad’s Italian restaurant before pursuing a career in music, starting things off with gigs at The 2i’s Coffee Bar, where he backed whoever turned up. He soon joined his own band called the Beat Boys, and from there, he started to get noticed.
And while a lot of people have never heard of Clem, he’s played on over 40 number one hit records and was one of the most prolific drummers in UK pop history. He’s worked with Joe Meek, Lou Reed, Cliff Richard, Hot Chocolate, Bay City Rollers, Benny Hill and loads more.
Cattini was so hot on the drumstool that he’d get called in to play the parts of bands who already had a drummer.
So with that, let us look at some of Clem’s most famous appearances. If anything, this list will show you just how versatile the great man is.
Happy birthday Clem!
Johnny Kidd and the Pirates ‘Shakin’ All Over’
Thunderclap Newman ‘Something In The Air’
The Tornados ‘Telstar’
Clive Dunn ‘Grandad’
Donovan ‘Hurdy Gurdy Man’
The Kinks ‘You Really Got Me’
The Walker Brothers ‘The Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine Anymore’
Dusty Springfield ‘You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me’
The Love Affair ‘Everlasting Love’
Renée and Renato ‘Save Your Love’
T-Rex ‘Get It On’
ALL papers lead with news that 1,400 girls were sexually abused in Rotherham, Yorkshire. The news is full of chilling testimonies delivered by grown women. They talk of being gang raped when below the age of consent (some as youing as 11), kept compliant by drugs, gifts, drink and threats of murder against them and their families and being ferried about the country to sex parties. Some children picked up from schools.
The rapists were mostly gangs of Asian men. The victims were mostly white girls.
The police treated the victims with contempt. The council ignored the allegations.
Yesterday the leader of the council, Roger Stone, resigned his post because of what he called “historic failings”.
IN the summer of 2012, stuff belonging to the late Sir Jimmy Savile was auctioned in Leeds. Monies riased went to Savile’s own charitable trust. £130,000 of which went on Jimmy’s silver Rolls Royce Corniche convertible. Among the 549 put up for sale, Yes It’s Number One created the big top ten, judged on oddness and over-estimate price:
A ‘JIM FIXED IT FOR ME’ aluminium badge – £2,000
The magic chair from the first two series of Jim’ll Fix It – £8,500 (under the 10K estimate)