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ROBIN Thicke’s hit has everyone’s knickers in a twist. The Universities of Kingston, Edinburgh, Leeds, Derby and West Scotland have banned their students unions from playing one of year’s biggest hits. The righteous students have censored the Top Ten, just like the BBC did in the unenlightened 1970s, when the likes of The Kinks, Paul McCartney, the Sex Pistols and Judge Dread were all banned.
Granted, Macca never did rap “ I’ll give you something big enough to tear your ass in two”, which it turns out is not a reference to a late-night Ultra Chilli Kebab from Big Ahmed’s Van but something illegal in Qatar. And Macca never did grope naked birds on his videos. Yes, he posed with dead babies. But naked women is so. well, offensive to “good girls” who don’t enjoy posing in the nude and being awakened to the magic of sex by Thicke’s dick.
HAS the Council of Europe banned Jewish boys from being Jewish boys? The Council has decreed that circumcision is “a violation of the physical integrity of children”. It says all 47 nations in the Council’s zone will ”initiate a public debate, including intercultural and interreligious dialogue, aimed at reaching a large consensus on the rights of children to protection against violations of their physical integrity according to human rights standards”.
Member stats should “adopt specific legal provisions to ensure that certain operations and practices will not be carried out before a child is old enough to be consulted”.
Hey, boys. You’ll get to be circumcised not when very young but when you’re 18. Happy days.
TOM Cowan and Robbie Fowler are the latest pundits to find that a casual remark or a casual prejudice can get you into hot water.
‘Banter’ is no longer an acceptable excuse for inappropriate sentiments however lightly expressed, and woe betide anyone who steps over the line into heartfelt abusive opinion.
BBC pundit Cowan’s crime was to make disparaging comments about women’s football in a column for the Daily Record, headed ‘And Now A Message From the Dark Ages’. In it, he remarked that “Fir Park should have been torched on Thursday in order to cleanse the stadium after it played host to women’s football”.For this, he has been suspended by the Beeb.
WHEN Huddersfield Giants star Danny Brough (seen here with his bestselling blueberry bonbons) revealed his other life as co-owner of the Hull confectionery shop Sweeet Shack (with an extra ‘e’) some people may have raised an eyebrow or two.
Once upon a time, however, there was nothing unusual about celebrities operating a sideline. Former footballers, boxers and cricketers opened newsagents, sports shops and pubs. And they weren’t the only ones. Even the Beatles got in on the act.
ON September 18, 1978, Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungun appeared on New York cable Tv show The Efrom Allen Show. Also on the panel taking calls from the great unwashed were, Stiv Bators of the Dead Boys, and Cynthia Ross of the B Girls.
Viewers were invited to “CALL 473-5386 TO SPEAK TO THE PUNK OF YOUR CHOICE”.
Photo above: Vicious and Spungen outside Marylebone Magistrates court after being charged possessing the drug methamphetamine - 08/02/1978.
Spungen seems to idolise her man, telling one caller who calls him “derivative”:
“He’s as original as you get! He’s not derivative of anything.”
On October 12, 1978 Spungen was dead. She’d been stabbed. The prime suspect in what looked like a suspicious death was Vicious, aka John Ritchie.
Photo: The Chelsea Hotel on 23rd Street in New York City is shown, Oct. 18, 1978, site of Nancy Spungen’s murder. Her boyfriend Sid Vicious of the punk rock band the Sex Pistols has been arrested and charged with the murder.
Photo: New York police escort British punk rock musician Sid Vicious, or John Simon Ritchie, former bass guitarist of the Sex Pistols, shortly before he was charged with murder in the stabbing death of his girlfriend, Nancy Laura Spungen, at New York’s Chelsea Hotel, Oct. 13, 1978.
Photo: John Simon Ritchie walks from Rikers Island prison in New York, Oct. 16, 1978 after being released on $50,000 bail. Police charged Ritchie with second-degree murder in connection with the death of his girlfriend, Nancy Spungen.
On February 2 , while out on bail, Vicious died of a drugs overdose. His mother told us:
“He knew the smack was pure and strong and took a lot less than usual.”
But it was enough to kill him:
Photo: New York City police carry the body of punk rock star Sid Vicious from apartment in the Greenwich Village section of New York, Feb. 2, 1979.
Photo: Michelle Robinson leaves her apartment in New York, Feb. 2, 1979 after the body of punk rock star musician Sid Vicious was found in her apartment.
Photo: Anne Beverley, mother of the late punk rock star Sid Vicious, sits in ambulance outside the Sixth Precinct police station in New York, Feb. 2, 1979. Police said her son apparently died of a heroin overdose taken the night before at a party given to celebrate his release from prison.
Now the phone-in show:
TWO stories in today’s papers stand out:
The Times leads with news that Under 11s are getting drunk and seeking treatment in A&E departments.
Hundreds of primary-school age children were admitted to accident and emergency departments for alcohol-related problems last year, it has been revealed. The 293 admissions, up by a third on 2011, came after a year in which more than 6,500 under-18s were taken to hospital as a consequence of drinking.
What about drugs?
The numbers, which were obtained through a freedom of information request, also found that 145 children under 11 were admitted to A&E with drug-related conditions, up by 14 per cent on the previous year.
ON January 4, 1969 Jimi Hendrix appeared on Happening for Lulu. Sharing the bill with Pan’s People, Badfinger and Johnny Harris, Hendrix and his Experience would perform a duet with the Shout singer at the BBC’s London studios. Well, they were supposed to. But it never did happen.
Charles R Cross recalls what occurred in his book Room Full of Mirrors. After breaking into Hey Joe, as arranged and introduced by the pop Pixie, Hendrix had enough:
“We’d like to stop playing this rubbish and dedicate a song to The Cream, regardless of what kind of group they may be in, dedicate to Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker and Jack Bruce”.
The band then began playing Sunshine of Your Love.
Hendrix told his girlfriend Kathy Etchingham (pictured above in 1969): “I’m not going to sing with Lulu. I’d look ridiculous.”
Noel Redding writes in his book Are You Experienced? The Inside Story of The Jimi Hendrix Experience:
“We cringed,… [tit was] so straight it was only natural that we would try to combat that atmosphere by having a smoke in our dressing room…In our haste, the lump of hash got away and slipped down the sink drainpipe. Panic! We just couldn’t do this show straight–Lulu didn’t approve of smoking! She was then married to Maurice Gibb of the Bee Gees, whom I’d visited and shared a smoke with. I could always tell Lulu was due home when Maurice started throwing open all the windows. Anyway, I found a maintenance man and begged tools from him with the story of a lost ring. He was too helpful, offering to dismantle the drain for us. It took ages to dissuade him, but we succeeded in our task and had a great smoke.”
Photo: Lulu marries Maurice Gibb of the pop group the Bee Gees at the Parish church, Gerrard’s Cross in Buckinghamshire on 18/02/1969.
“This was fun for us, but producer Stanley Dorfman didn’t take it at all well as the minutes ticked by on his live show. Short of running onto the set to stop us or pulling the plug, there was nothing he could do. We played past the point where Lulu might have joined us, played through the time for talking at the end, played through Stanley tearing his hair, pointing to his watch and silently screaming at us. We played out the show. Afterwards, Dorfman refused to speak to us but the result is one of the most widely used bits of film we ever did. Certainly, it’s the most relaxed.”
WHAT do we want to find when we read a dead man’s letters? Humanity? Treasure? Revelation? Confession? And what if that person were famous?
What do we make of James Joyce’s porno letters to his wife, Nora?
Alistair Gentry notes:
I definitely don’t think that people with disabilities are funny or that Stephen Hawking is laughable.
However, hearing James Joyce’s sexy, obscene letters to his Mrs read out in a robot/Hawking voice is hilarious. Try it. If you have a Mac I suggest using the voice called Fred, AKA the Radiohead ‘Paranoid Android’ voice. Select the text you want to hear, go to the Services menu and choose Speech>Start speaking text.
DAVID Cameron has played down rugby international Manu Tuilagi’s ‘bunny ears’ gesture as ‘a bit of fun’, and accepted an apology from the player after his impertinent gesture during the British Lions’ photo call at Downing Street.
THE Daily Mail continues to leer at young girls.
Back in January, thy Mail said that Heidi Klum’s daughter was a “leggy beauty”.
Heidi Klum’s daughter is eight years old. She is the Mail’s “lovely Leni”.
SINCE time immemorial singers have coloured their faces or hidden behind masks. The masks enable the singers to be freer, take on news personas and cut loose. We’ve flicked through the record archives here at Anorak Towers and now bring you the Top 10 masked pop stars and groups of all time:
Without doubt, the funniest masked band of all time, are the might Gwar. In their time, they’ve cut off limbs, given birth to ghouls and wheeled out giant menstruating beasts on stage. Their warty, demon masks are almost as important as their brand of schlock rock and god bless the lot of ‘em.
IN 1983 Dennis Hopper went to Rice University in Houston, Texas. Students piled onto buses. They followed Hopper to Houston’s Big H Speedway. His arrival was announced thus:
“Stick around folks and watch a famous Hollywood film personality perform the Russian Dynamite Death Chair Act. That’s right, folks, he’ll sit in a chair with six sticks of dynamite and light the fuse.”
Rice News reported:
Dennis Hopper, at one with the shock wave, was thrown headlong in a halo of fire. For a single, timeless instant he looked like Wile E. Coyote, frazzled and splayed by his own petard. Then billowing smoke hid the scene. We all rushed forward, past the police, into the expanding cloud of smoke, excited, apprehensive, and no less expectant than we had been before the explosion. Were we looking for Hopper or pieces we could take home as souvenirs? Later Hopper would say blowing himself up was one of the craziest things he has ever done, and that it was weeks before he could hear again. At the moment, though, none of that mattered. He had been through the thunder, the light, and the heat, and he was still in one piece. And when Dennis Hopper staggered out of that cloud of smoke his eyes were glazed with the thrill of victory and spinout.
POLITICIANS are gentle souls who like to create. Some make art. We’ve noticed a few of them:
Dwight D. Eisenhower
“I have a lot of fun since I took it up, in my somewhat miserable way, your hobby of painting. I have had no instruction, have no talent, and certainly have no justification for covering nice, white canvas with the kind of daubs that seem constantly to spring from my brushes. Nevertheless, I like it tremendously, and in fact, have produced two or three things that I like enough to keep.” – DE
DONNY and Marie Osmond were the stars of their eponymous TV show. Between 1976 and 1979, kids tuned in to see the beaming Mormon siblings singing country-style songs. They also performed skits with star guests, performing parodies of hit films, like Star Wars (1977) and Battlestar Galactica (1978).
THSE are the 10 most WTF adverts ever to appear on Craigslist (until we find another ten):
Baba Ramdev: Keith Vaz supports India’s celebrity swami who says gays are a sickness to be cured by yoga
WHY was Swami Ramdevji detained at Heathrow Airport for eight hours as he tried to make way to Glasgow?
Also known as Baba Ramdev, Ramdevji was scheduled to lead a 1500-strong yoga class in Glasgow this Monday. Immigration stopped him. After hours in limbo, the spiritual leader who is said to be idolised by tens of millions, was handed a 24-hour visa and instructed to return to Terminal Five today. He did so. He was not deported. He was allowed to stay. The yoga class is on.
Leicester East MP Keith Vaz, who backed Ramdev, was there to tell media:
“…it is still a matter of concern to his many supporters and thousands of people who couldn’t be here today that he should have been treated in the way he was treated when he arrived at Heathrow. No Indian citizen with a valid visa entering the UK for lawful purposes should be held in this way. This is a very serious situation that occurred.”
WHY did Aaron Alexis murder 12 people on a US naval base?
The Daily Mirror knows. He was:
“DRIVEN TO KILL BY CALL Of DUTY”
After the stupid headline, the Mirror’s Christopher Bucktin strafes the page with other facts as to why a man murdered a dozen people:
Nuts: He was “Crazed”.
Games: He had been “treated for mental illness after playing violent video games for up to 18 hours day and night”.
PIE and Mash, the traditional cockney staple, is under threat. An ageing fan base, coupled with a shortage of eels, has accelerated the decline of the traditional eel and pie shop.
“I WAS the first to publish report about the 2006 total solar eclipse in the newspaper in Nigeria when I was writing for the defunct New Age newspaper,” says University of Lagos post graduate student, Chibuihem Amalaha.
“I also reported the true situation about the 2010 acid rain in Nigeria. I carried out analysis and found out that there was nothing like cancer of the skin attributed to the acid rain and by 2011, I emerged the best science reporter in Nigeria where I won Nigeria Media Merit Award in the energy category as a science editor with Compass newspapers.”
“Ever since then I have been doing a lot of researches in the country. There are many discoveries and inventions I have made in science and technology. I have also been able to prove that the mathematical symbol pi which people thought of as 22 over 7 is not actually 22 over , but rather a transcendental number while 22 over 7 is a rational number. I also proved that watching television in the dark impacts negatively on one’s eyes and by God’s grace, I was the first person to use scientific instruments to prove it in the whole world. The Nigerian Television Authority (NTA) featured me on this in one of their programmes on January 12, 2013, where I demonstrated to millions of their viewers that watching television in the dark damages the eyes. Usually when it’s around 10pm, many families in Nigeria will switch off their surrounding lights to use the light from television or the light from computer alone thinking that they will see images brighter. But from experiments I found that it’s not true and experts both at the University of Lagos and elsewhere have found my work to be true. The reason for this is because there is a lot of difference in illuminants (brightness) between the television screen and the dark background in the room known as the periphery.
“In recent time I found that gay marriage,which is homosexuality and lesbianism, is eating deep into the fabric of our human nature all over the world and this was why nations of Sodom and Gomora were destroyed by God because they were into gay practice. That is, a man marrying another man and a woman marrying another woman.
“A recent publication on May 3, 2013 shows that France is the 14th country in the world that have legalised gay. I asked myself why should a man be marrying a man and a woman marrying a woman, does it mean that there is no more female for a man to marry or there is no more male for a woman to marry? And recently, Britain told Nigeria to legalise gay marriage of forfeit international aid. I thank God for our lawmakers who refused to sign the bill legalising gay marriage. And so God gave me the wisdom to use science as a scientist to prove gay marriage wrong.
SHOULD a Muslim woman be able to wear a full-face veil in court? Judge Peter Murphy, ’no’. He says the woman charged with witness intimidation must show her face in Blackfriars Crown Court (above). She says she does not want to show her face in front of men. She wants to keep on her niqab.
A compromise is struck: she can wear the veil in all the parts of the trial where she is not giving evidence.
But her lawyers say the making her remove the veil breaches Article 9 of the European Convention on Human Rights. Which is does not.
The Judge won’t budge any further. To begin with he ruled that she must remove the veil at all times:
“It is necessary for this court to be satisfied that they can recognise the defendant. While I obviously respect the right to dress in any way she wishes, certainly while outside the court, the interests of justice are paramount. I can’t, as a circuit judge, accept a plea from a person whose identity I am unable to ascertain.”
But does he have to check her ID? Don’t the court officers do that before she enters the dock? Can’t they be women?
“It would be easy for someone on a later occasion to appear and claim to be the defendant. The court would have no way to check on that.”
No way? Well, there was a way. An officer of the court swore an oath that the woman in the dock was the same woman as appeared in a photo of the suspect. Accordingly, the suspect was allowed to enter a plea (not guilty).