THIS week’s defeat of former Wimbledon champion and current number two seed Rafael Nadal has been described as one of the greatest upsets in history. His second-round exit at the hands of world number 100 Lukas Rosol was certainly one of the most extraordinary games ever seen at the All England club, and deserves to take its place among the biggest shocks of the world’s top tennis tournament. But is it the greatest ever? Recent decades have thrown up a few serious contenders…
THE London Cable Car is go! Transport for London’s gondola lift cable cars are taking people across the River Thames, making the half-mile crossing between Greenwich and the Royal Docks that little starrier. From the 34 cabins you can see the Olympic Park, Canary Wharf, South London, the Thames Barrier, Brixton and my granny’s house. A one-way ticket on the ‘Emirates Air Line’ costs £3.20. Each pod holds up to 10 passengers.
ZOMBIE CANNIBALS are about to run legal in Barack Obama’s Chicago. The city has voted to decriminalise minor marijuana possession. Possessing cannabis is illegal. Now, however, owner will get a fine. Chicago joins Seattle, Pittsburgh and Philadelphia is approaching sense.
We’re still not there yet, though. The decision to fine and by how much will be left to the Chicago police service. Get caught holding less than 15g of weed and expect a fine ranging from $250 to $500.
The move was brought by Barack Obama’s old Chief of Staff mayor Rahm Emanuel. He was aided by Chicago police superintendent, Gary McCarthy, who said most of the 20,000 yearly arrests of marijuana possession create criminal cases that are dropped. This new way frees up police time to chase actual criminals and count all that money from fines, an estimated $7m.
So. As Chicago finds a legal way to tax illegal marijuana, we look at President Obama. Did he inhale?
An American mother went to a McDonald's with her two 6 and 8 -year old children.
She ordered two Happy Meals with chicken for the children and a hamburger with fries for herself. While they were eating, the 6-year old was more interested in the slide across the street than in the chicken nuggets which he didn't even touch. So the mother decided she would eat them. Without actually watching what she was doing she was bringing a chicken biggest to her mouth, just when her 8-year old son yelled not to eat it. So she looked at the biggest to find that -- despite the crust, it looked just like a chicken's head.The manager offered them their meal for free and two more weeks of free meals. The mother pressed charges and demanded 100,000 dollars compensation.
“The department has ruled out the most common drugs found in ‘bath salts,’ a press release from the ME’s office said. The toxicology testing “has identified the active components of marijuana,” the release said. “The laboratory has tested for but not detected any other street drugs, alcohol or prescription drugs, or any adulterants found in street drugs. This includes cocaine, LSD, amphetamines (Extasy, Meth and others), phencyclidine (PCP or Angel Dust), heroin, oxycodone, Xanax, synthetic marijuana (Spice), and many other similar compounds.”
The ME’s office said it sought the help of an outside forensic toxicology lab, “which has confirmed the absence of ‘bath salts,’ synthetic marijuana and LSD.” The ME’s office said that “within the limits of current technology by both laboratories,” marijuana was the only drug found in Eugene’s system.
GIFS of the day are brought to you by: fat cat rolls; self-defence for women; topless magic; the inevitable runner; the kitten hoover; cycling for death; that cute rabbit; the model falls; and the dog surfs the pillar…
THE 1970s were at the cusp of the sexual revolution. The magazines, the film reels and the go-go shows were there to put the joy into sex, which since ancient times had been functional and very possibly accidental. We’ve pulled together a collection of images that preceded the racy action sequences. One reason these cats wanted to rips each others clothes of is clear: the clothes. You didn’t have to be plain with puckered, goose-bumped, sweaty skin to have sex in the 1970s – it just helped…
THERE was little racism in evidence at the Euro 2012 Championships in The Ukraine and Poland. The BBC and the tabloids had warned England fans about neo-Nazi gangs waiting to murder blacks, Asians and Jews. In “Anarchy in the Ukraine – ‘Nazi’ militia train yobs to fight our fans“, the Sun showed us local thugs rehearsing for murder with wooden knives. But Ashley Young’s family sat in the stands for England’s match with Italy came home not in coffin, as Sol Campbell told BBC viewers black fans might, but on the smart seats of a passenger plane.
A CHILD has died on the Gaza Strip. She was just two-years-old. How did Achhad Hadeel Ahmed Al-Haddad, aka Hadil al-Haddad, die?
The PalTimes – a “Palestinian news site working to address and follow up on all political issues and daily committed to accuracy” – reports:
Zionist war planes bombed a house just west of Al Farouk Mosque near al-Zaytoun neighborhood, which led to the death of Achhad Hadeel Ahmed Al-Haddad, 2, and wounding her brother, 3, was slightly wounded.
HOW bright do you need to be to be an MP? In this masterclass, Kevin Brennan, Labour education spokesman and MP for Cardiff West, says three in 10 pupils achieved good GCSEs in 1997. As any fule knows that’s “60 per cent.” As he said:
”It was we who inherited a weak system on maths and English from the Tories. Only three in 10 pupils, that’s 60 per cent because I know the Secretary of State is not very good at maths, only three in 10 pupils got a good GCSE in 1997.”
All funny stuff. If an Oxford graduate and former economics teacher can’t do the sums, who can?
EGGED on by the State-sanctioned war on the fat, the kids on board the Greece School District bus in Greece, N.Y, set about abusing (surely, encouraging her to lose weight – ed)Karen Huff Klein, a 68-year-old bus monitor.
The most popular terms of abuse if “fat ass”. A playground wit tells her ”you don’t have a family because they all killed themselves because they don’t want to be near you.” Her son killed himself ten years earlier. The nippers knew this. They advise her that she will “die of diabetes.”
It’s all pretty much the usual expert-inspired stuff, in which the fat are told to objectify themselves and their roly-poly kids, who are responsible for draining the health system of funds and killing the planet. Kids, he, they really do just pick up adult prejudices.
JIMMY Carr has become the face of the wrong-minded tax-dodger. You’d think that a satire-mined comic would revel in this, using it as a chance to be the baddie, goading the right-minded with his legally earned cash and how he and Take That are being blamed for the collapse of the financial system. “Sod it,” says Carr. “I’ve hit the easy liberal-friendly targets (women, Christians, bankers), been BBC compliant and made a mint as the on-message TV panel show stalwart.” Now I’ll do the risky stuff. I won’t be on the telly, for sure, but I’ll make you laugh.”
It gets better when marketing man David Cameron calls Jimmy Carr “not morally right”. Has there ever been better badge of honour? Wear it with pride, Mr Carr. Use it as slogan for your nationwide tour. Jerry Sadowitz is knocking on a bit. It’s time for a new pariah.
TO Royal Ascot with the Daily Mail, who having led with blonde Joanna Southgate’s tattoos (arms), today leads with blonde Zoe Neilson’s ring (nose) and bra strap (black). Fot added raciness, the paper tells readers that Neilson attended St Mary’s boarding school, Oxfordshire (£29,000 per annum). Like a school girl on her way home via the precinct, she tells readers:
“I knew my dress was too short so I tugged it down just before I went through the gates.”
And then, presumable hoisted it up again once out of site of Miss and Sir.
JOHN Richards, of Boston, Lincolnshire, has been told that he faces arrests if his post decrying relgions as “fairy stories” causes offence. Because anything can cause offence to those who seek it out, Mr Richards is doomed.
According to Lincolnshire Police, the 1986 Public Order Act states that “a person is guilty of an offence if they display a sign which is threatening or abusive or insulting with the intent to provoke violence or which may cause another person harassment, alarm or distress.”
That nonsense is followed by the police’s laughable lines:
“This is balanced with a right to free speech and the key point is that the offence is committed if it is deemed that a reasonable person would find the content insulting.”
COSMOPOLITAN magazine loves dishing out advise on how to have great sex. These tips always move on. Follow Cosmo’s “15 Hottest set tips of 2011” in 2012 and risk looking like a failure in bed. “You’re soooo last season,” he’ll whine as you give him a lap-dance, reminding you that lap-dancing is 2011 and in 2012 all the cool perverts are face dancing. Ben Reininga has created “Cosmo’s 44 Most Ridiculous Sex Tips” for Nerve magazine.
So in tune with sex is Cosmo that in 1972 its list of Britain’s 21 Most Eligible Bachelors featured the names of five gay men. Good luck seducing Benny Hill, ladies.
The top ten Cosmo sex tips are:
1. “Hold his penis in one hand and lightly slap it with the other… you can tap it back and forth like you’re volleying a tennis ball and lightly pinch the skin on his shaft and testicles. Many women make the mistake of being too gentle.”
2.”Firmly hold the bottom of his shaft in one hand and slowly push it towards the base. (Imagine you’re pushing his penis into his body).”.
3. “Fifty-six percent of unmarried men prefer receiving head while lying down as opposed to standing up, while the numbers are exactly reversed for married men.”
Who needs a wedding ring?
4. “Go hot and cold. During oral, suck in air as you go down and blow it out as you go up.”
5. “As you move your mouth up and down his shaft, rotate your hand in a corkscrew motion while spiraling your tongue in the opposite direction.”
David Nalbandian’s assault on a hapless hoarding at the Queen’s club was itself sufficient to warrant a stern rebuke and possibly even disciplinary action. But the unfortunate collateral damage – a nasty shin injury to the line judge who was seated immediately behind the advertising board – has catapulted the angry Argentinian into the lawn tennis hall of shame, and earned him worldwide notoriety.
MARTHA Payne was doing it for a Christian charity. The nine-year-old blogger has so far raised £70,000 for charity after Argyll and Bute Council forbade her from posting photos of her Lochgilphead Primary school dinners on her blog and then, in the media spotlights, caved in.
Matha Payne is raising cash for school dinners in Malawi. She has taken the parental advice, that if the kids in Africa are starving they can have my revolting dinner, by raising enough money to feed the children over there.
Matha scores each meal on her “food-o-meter”, giving the mush a health rating. She then counts the number of mouthfuls she needs to eat it. When it’s peas and smoked haddock the mouthful count can top 23,000!
LUKA Magnotta is in a cell in Berlin, awaiting extradition to Canada. The head of his alleged victim, Jun Lin, has not been found. So far, two hands and two feet from Lin’s body have arrived via the post at part two Vancouver schools, the Ottawa headquarters of the Conservative Party of Canada and another addressed to the country’s Liberal party was intercepted at the post office.
Montreal police Commander Ian Lafreniere tells media:
“The state of the body is so bad. It was cut. It was dismembered. This is a very hard case for us in terms of being extremely gross. We’re still missing body parts.”