IN 1968, the Playboy Bunny Club was for swinging cats who liked their women holding “man-sized” drinks, lighting cigarettes and dressed as saucy rabbits. It being a club meant there was rules. In this brochure, you can bone up. You can look around the club here.
This manual is worth the read. You can learn how to smoke like a Playboy Bunny, dress like one and sell lots of drink to win the star prize. Yep, it’s a… Playboy Mug:
BANSKY is the famous Bristolian artist, a master of witty one liners. They say he’s called Robin Gunningham. The Banksy part came from his nickname Robin Banx. He went to Bristol Cathedral School. He left with an E grade in his art GCSE. Other than that, we know little.
WHAT’S Heather Frost been up to? The Tewkesbury Tribal elder (11 kids – one more and she can rival Jacobs and the Jews) is scheduled to move into a 1,850 square foot council-provided “mansion”. The Mail’s Simon Tomlinson holds his nose and writes:
Noise really bad… no hope of watching TV… mattresses burning… greenhouse glass smashed by rocks’: Widow’s diary reveals ‘hell’ of living next to ‘benefits queen’ mother-of-11 for five (long) years
PROTECTING children from abuse online is a big deal.
Barnardo’s is running a campaign. It features this image:
NIKE have pulled the Oscar Pistorius advert, the one about the bullet being in the chamber. The South African runner killed Reeva Steenkamp, his lover. On The Drum website, a contest is underway to produce creatives for any future Oscar Pistorius range for Nike. Sick? Too soon? A woman died… Says the site: “…it clear that our intention was never to trivialise the tragic news about Reeva Steenkamp’s death, but to highlight the vulnerable position that brands are placed in when their endorsements of high-profile figures such as Oscar Pistorius attract controversy. If you have to explain the advert, then it’s not working, is it:
THE Daily Mail is never slow to point out, in merciless detail, the physical and sartorial shortcomings of any celebrity, be they great or small.
“When Seventies television star Peter Wyngarde was spotted out shopping near his West London home last week it was clear his fashion sense had deserted him a long time ago” ran the caption to a picture of a well-preserved gentleman in his late seventies, dressed in fashionable casual clothes.
“BULGER KILLER GROOMED ME FOR SEX”
Groomed? Like paedos groom? Grooming is the word the UK authorities use to describe a paedophile’s online communication with a child they plan to meet and abuse.
RECENTLY, Harry Styles of One Direction, was pelted in the wang by a stray shoe, thrown from his beloved audience. This writer himself has thrown an errant trainer at The Prodigy, missing the target (Keef) by some distance and hitting the drummer’s cymbal at Reading ’96 (if you have a recording of the show, listen out for it during Poison).
Of course, this kind of behaviour is not to be cheered at… mostly. It is wilfully stupid behaviour, but alas, is all part of the rock ‘n’ roll circus.
Some musicians get bras and drugs thrown at them, which is very nice. Most however, aren’t too pleased with what comes their way.
With that, let us look at some of the most brutal bottlings and weirdest missiles aimed toward people just trying to earn a living.
THE Sun repeats the claim that PC Tommy McCrindle has been banned from policing Celtic fans. He is alleged to have written on his Facebook page (now deleted): “Fume-a-Pest & Termite Control.” Likening Celtic fans to rats and fleas is not on. McCrindle’s alleged words were further broadcast by the Green Brigade, avid Celtic fans who sit in block 111 at the Parkhead ground and give full throat to their Irish republican sympathies with singing, banners and clothing. They bring colour and atmosphere to the ground.
SEX-abuse scandals are replacing kiss’n'tells as tabloid fodder. Sensation swirls about the LibDems’ former party chief executive Lord Rennard. Women say he acted “inappropriately. There is a claim that Rennard repeatedly “brushed a woman’s leg at dinner. Another says he propositioned her. She “” the offer to join him in his room.
At first, Lib Dem leader and deputy prime minister Nick Clegg said he had no idea about any of it. The allegations made on Channel 4 News were news to him. By Sunday, however, Clegg’s memory told him that he had known about Rennard’s alleged “indirect and non-specific concerns” since 2008. Moreover, LibDem chief of staff Danny Alexander had had confronted Rennard over such matters.
YEARS before the Sun crested the “News in Briefs” Page 3 feature, US cupcake magazine Pose introduced its readers to the ladies’ speech bubbles.
AS the West Ham faithful congregate at the Bolyn Ground to remember Bobby Moore, here are some memories of the maestro, not all of which are likely to be mentioned in the match programme…
Moore’s drinking exploits were legendary, and a couple of crates of lager were always on hand when Bobby held court. He was once even sensationally dropped from the West Ham team for breaking curfew the evening before an FA Cup tie in Blackpool. Best friend Jimmy Greaves called Mooro the ‘King of the Bar Stool’. Usually, however, Tina and Mrs Peters were not involved…
TO the NRL rugby match between New Zealand’s New Warriors and Australia’s Brisbane Broncos. Ruben Wiki, the onetime Warriors centre now working as the club’s conditioning coach, wows the 15,000 fans at Forsyth Barr stadium in Dunedin, when he brings down teh anked streaker. Nice tackle. (You too.) It’s one for the gallery:
THE OSCARS 2013 – the pick of the lines:
Anne Hathaway: “Here’s hoping that sometime in the not-too-distant future, the misfortunes of Fantine will only be found in stories – and not in real life.”
Because Les Miserables is a fly-on-the-wall documentary.
IN May 2012, Patricia Krentril was arrested in New Jersey for taking her 5-year-old daughter to a tanning salon, where she was burnt. Krentil, who looks George Hamilton’s portrayal of Geppetto’s Mr. Hankey, became a star. In May of that year, Patty Baked swore of tanning. Well, she agreed to take the challenge issued by In Touch magazine and abstain from UV rays for 30 days. Sure, she still used Jergens self-tanner and told us “I feel weird and pale”, but she did it. But now she’s back. And the Sun says she heading to the UK – in search of a tan!
(After which she will head to the Himalayas in search of the Abominable Snowman; Loch Ness in search of a Monster; and Mecca in search for a bacon roll.)
Says Patty Baked:
“I was born to tan — and there is nothing like the colour that you get from a sunbed. But in the past year I have been banned from tanning salons. Now I have to spend hours covering myself in tanning lotion to get the colour I want.”
The bigots are happy – the Oscar Pistorius murder case has given them licence to openly despise the disabled again.
To recap: Reeva Steenkamp was shot dead by her lover. She was unarmed. She might have been murdered. The runner thought the woman who shares his bed was a burglar. There was no burglar.
OSCAR Pistorius has spent 4 days applying to be bailed for his shooting dead of Reeva Steenkamp, his lover. If this has been a big show, just wait until the main event. He’s won bail. A reader writes:
The Pistorius affair looks as though it may become a white athelete – black cop thing rather than an out and out temper/drug fuelled murder of a young woman. Either way Oscar’s finished, split and smoked like a haddock.
Magistrate Desmond Nair says the media have treated Pistorius like <em >“some kind of species the world has never seen before”.
He asks a key question: why did the accused fly into the apparent danger zone without his prosthetic legs when he had other course of action open to him?
OSCAR Pistorius murder case: has the Paralympic runner’s demeanour changed over the last few days? Have defiance and even bravado replaced desperation? Cameras are allowed into the Pretoria courtroom. They allow the world to see snapshots of one man’s trial for the murder of his lover, Reeva Steenkamp. He shot her dead. But did he mean to? He says “no”. The State says “yes”. The defence is muddying the once clear waters. Their job seems simple: they have to make it hard for the prosecution to prove his guilt beyond any reasonable doubt:
February 14, 2013
IN the 1940s and 1950s, magazines like Sir put hairs on your chest. With titles like True, Dude, Stag and Male, these organs were for the monosyllabic non-nonsense real man.
Bettie Page (photos here) was the No.1 pin-up., rendered flawless with crayon and a warm tissue to blur her harder edges.
Sir! Magazine, October, 1950, features the magazine’s trademark cover stripe, the banner that promised much – “Mother of Death, Savage Sex, Terrible Secret.” Cover girl Barbara Neil was just happy to be there.
What are they singing – a charity single?
Known by the single name “Lordly,” he was revered as a semi-deity by Doukhobors. Peter Vasilievich Verigin inspired his Doukhobor followers to build a communal empire that spread over three western provinces in the years after 1899, when they arrived in Canada.
Men. Gird your loins!
James Lileks, who scanned these images, nots: “I’d hate to be the Plant Drip, but I could see the virtues in being a Success Dynamo. For one thing, you’d get the favors of shallow harridans like Betty, provided you could dish it out in the same portions you took it, and strike your employees hard enough to send them to the floor.”
Sex in Flames. Great Gipp. Marijuana Addicts.
Was anyone not a slave in Stalin’s uranium mines? Was anyone a holidaymaker?
More covers here.
HEATHER Frost, the Sun’s “dole Queen“, might move into a custom-built six-bedroom council “mansion“ in Tewkesbury, Gloucestershire.
(It’s 1,850 square feet and not liable for any forthcoming mansion tax – mansions are now deemed to be properties worth over £2m.)
The Sun leads with the news that Frost owns a horse. Indeed, don’t we all. Horses are the meaty pets of the poor. Old Mr Anorak’s was delivered this morning in cardboard box and smeared in ketchup. Heather Frost doesn’t own a horse. She owns ‘raw food’.
Of course what Frost should do appease the Sun is not to own a horse outright – bought fair and square – rather, she must borow a horse, like David Cameron did from former Sun supremo Rekbekah Brooks, whose horse Raisa was lent to her by Scotland Yard. The rich borrow. The poor buy. Those sad bastards. Says the Sun on its front page:
Mum of 11 dole queen owns a horse… and she wants to buy 2 more
IN Atherton, California, the average home costs $4,010,200. It’s home to 7100 residents. Last year, the town saw 152 crimes, of which 95 were for larceny. There were no reported rapes nor murders. The Atherton Crime Prevention Task Force’s advice for locals is to “Call the police anytime you observe suspicious persons or events”. They do. This is selection of what they call to report:
THE court calls Russian lawyer Sergei Magnitsky. He’s a bit slow to take the stand. He’s a bit quiet. This is because Sergei Magnitsky is dead. He died in a Russian prison from pancreatitis. He’s buried at Moscow’s Preobrazhensky cemetery.
Mr Magnitsky was first arrested in 2008. The lawyer with US firm Firestone Duncan had been working for London-based Hermitage Capital Management. He claimed to have uncovered a massive fraud worth £125m. He told all to officials. He was then arrested for alleged tax evasion and sent to prison, where he was beaten and denied medical help. He was had been held for a year without charge. Well, just under a year. In Russia, you can be held for anything up a year without charge. That time would have lapsed on November 24. He died on Monday, November 16. Such was his misfortune.
THE OSCAR Pistorus Murder story is tabloid manna. Was the fabled double-amputee running champion no cartoon Zebedee made human, rather a baser, more Earth-bound man who murdered his lover, Reeve Steemkamp? Did he really shoot though a shut door not knowing who was on the other side, shocked to the core when returning to his bed – from where he had retrieved his gun (he kept his 9mm pistol under it) – to find his lover gone?
When he heard noises from inside the bathroom, didn’t he think it was his lover might be taking a midnight leak? Didn’t he tap the bed next to him and search out his lover? He didn’t switch the lights on. He fired. Then, realising Reeva was missing from the bed, he picked up a cricket bat and smashed in the locked bathroom door. He carried the dying woman downstairs in his arms.
LONDON Fashion Week 2013: we’ve been photographing the fashionistas seen outside Somerset House. Look out for: 1980s colours; the BA Robertson fan club; men dressed as clerics; men dressed as furtive sex shop browsers (circa. 1973); and other cool kids…