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TUMBLR Site of the Day: more from The Kitten Covers is a great collection of kittens in the mode of classic pop and rocks album covers: Blondie, Leonard Cohen, Saturday Night Fever, Beastie Boys, Dr Dre, Peter Tosh, The Doors, Grace Jones, Dolly Parton and Marvin Gaye… First Part is here.
THE story of Kyron Horman is being changed online. Why are stories by the Oregonian’s Lynne Terry and Maxine Bernstein being altered well after their original publication? Why do the stories contain no notations made as to what they updated in the articles? There is no pointing out what was added or deleted.
The Oregonian seems to have become the police’s mouthpiece. Are press are embarked on a witch hunt to get Terri Horman, Kyron’s step-mother? The police sit back and watch the media tear into Terri Horman.
The Sheriff’s Office’s mouthpiece seems to be the Oregonian, in the person of Maxine Bernstein, who it appears, has rather exclusive access. She has been remarkably unequivocal in publishing whatever information she is given, without asking any particularly hard questions. Some of the articles and information published have been unquestionably ruinous to the reputations of Terri Horman andsome of her associates. Ms. Bernstein is conceivably comfortable doing this, based on First Amendment protections, and assurances that she has received solid information from the authorities.
A reader asks:
How in the hell can you report on a meeting that took place on Feb. 24, 2011 and 9 months later just add whatever or take out whatever with no notations of the updates? They are even deleting articles that were published that we read and all of sudden they no longer exist.
All good to update stories and correct errors. But in their updated copy the writers make no reference to the earlier published versions of these stories.
TOM Bower’s unauthorised biography of Simon Cowell makes it into the Sunday Times. The Sun deals with the Cowell sex and the Cowell arse – Cowell seems to view his arse as his bigeset enemy; Rupert Murdoch’s more up-market sister organ look at Cowell lifestyle and politics.
Key extracts from todays Cowell ‘n’ Tell are:
Cowell: “The best tomato sauce in the world on a pizza was Pizzaland’s in Windsor.”
Favourite meal: Cumberland sausages, mashed potatoes and Daddies sauce.
MADELEINE McCann: To those of you who want to know what the missing child looks like at age 8, the Sunday Express has front-page help. No, not the sensitive headline Our Maddie’s head – the bit about a “HOLIDAY BARGAIN BONANZA” (Portugal can be nice). The paper’s good news is that the innocent child who vanished in Portugal almost five years ago looks bright-eyed and very much alive. The headline says:
MADELEINE MCCANN AGED EIGHT, AS US EXPERTS SEE HER
Mike Parker and Gerard Couzen tells readers:
This is an age-progression picture of Madeleine McCann as she would be now, aged eight.
US experts, who work with police forces tracing missing people, created the image for the Sunday Express using FBI forensic computer techniques.
Channel 4 trailed Big Fat Gypsy Weddings by declaring it “Bigger. Fatter. Gypsier”. That wholly offensive attack on the white working classes, a group more abused than any other on the magic box (you never see a working class hero any more, just thick prats talking about vajazzles, having paternity tests, cheating benefits and berating foreigners) has been topped.
In the USA, the prejudice just got nastier, sickier and pervier as TMZ broadcasts footage of two of the MBFAGW stars brawling. The voiceover then calls all gypsies thieves.
You see, Kimmy K is going to be the president of the USA. You may scoff, but who honestly thought that, way back when, bozo quiffboy, Ronald Reagan, was going to go from acting with chimps to hovering over the button that would’ve fired the nukes at Russia? Who actually thought that the people of California would be dumb enough to vote Big Arnie in as governor?
DAY Five of the Sun’s serialisation of the book Sweet Revenge: The Intimate Life of Simon Cowell by Tom Bower. As ever the Sun leads and the Daily Star and Daily Mirror follow with their own front-page mash-ups.
First to the Sun, which say on its front page: “COWELL’S £100M WAR WITH ITV.”
The Sun spots the cut above Cowell’s left eye. You might not. What is more obvious is Cowell’s unshaven face, grey highlights and short stack of chins. The inference is clear: “The ‘unauthorised‘ biography I helped the writer with but ‘in a sense’ never approved is not all true. Look. My hair is un-dyed. My face is not smeared in purified baby panda vomit. The only prick near me is that one that’s caused me a wound to my eye. Yes. I am hurt.”
He’s in control, isn’t he, the leader? He’s omnipotent? Or he might just be a randy middle-aged man with a desk and buzzer?
FLASHBACK looks at contestants in the Miss World and Miss America beauty pageants from the 30s and 40s. The concept of beauty has altered with time.
Today Cowell is on the tabloids’ front pages:
The Sun (front page): “JESSIE GAY – SIMON GAY”
One recalls the words of Simon Cowell, the ladykiller: “In this business, if you were gay it wouldn’t be a problem, would it?”
The Sun’s Jen Blackburn writes:
The Voice judge, 24, was ordered to hide the truth from fans by claiming to be merely bisexual, the unauthorised biography says. But in another book, Simon Cowell insists he is NOT gay, despite rumours.
WOMEN have loomed large in Simon Cowell’s legend this week, provoking cries of “Oh shut up!” and “I think the lady doth protest too much!” There’s talk of him bedding six women at once and a complete non-story about him fancying Dannii Minogue. However, there’s other elements to the high-waisted svengali that are much more fun to poke at.
According to a new biography about Cowell (so it must be massively true because books don’t lie), the X Factor mogul is completely and utterly mental.
Apparently, our Simon insists on having back toilet roll in his Beverly Hills mansion as well as having a feature that makes it look like he can walk on water like he’s Jesus or something.
JONATHAN Spelman, 17, is the son of Meriden MP and Environment Secretary Caroline Spelman. The Rugby Football Union has banned Jonny Spelman from playing rugby until October 19 2013. You see, he took illegal drugs – anabolic steroids and a growth hormone.
He cheated. Spelman has played for England’s youth team at under 16 level. His story is in the public interest. But his wealthy mum – a government minister – didn’t want you know about it. The woman – part of a Government that thinks it’s fine for the police to read your emails without a warrant – wants her son’s misdeeds to remain secret.
SIMON Cowell is on the cover of three newspapers. The Daily Mirror leads with a question:
“An affair with Dannii, lusting after Cheryl, knifing Gary Balow…have we finally had our fill of Simon Cowell?”
No. Well, you might have. But the tabloids haven’t. The Mirror’s front-page news is a trail for a diatribe from Alison Phillips, who reads the Sun’s extracts from Tom Bower’s new book Sweet Revenge, and says Cowell lacks “integrity”, is “seedy” and “smutty”, possessed of a “mammoth conceit”, is “paralysed from forming proper relationships” and lacks honesty.
But he is good for 500 words and a pay check. Ker-ching!
TOM Bower’s biography of Simon Cowell’s sex wish list – Sweet Revenge: the Intimate Life of Simon Cowell – is being serialised in the Sun. The Sun (prop. Rupert Murdoch) has bene the virtual in-house magazine for Cowell’s X Factor for years. In American, The X Factor is broadcast on Fox (prop, R. Murdoch), which also broadcasts American Idol (one of Simon Cowell’s other talent shows). The Guardian reports that the Daily Mail thought it would get the rights to the book because the Sun would dare not repeat the allegations that Cowell had shagged his co-judge Dannii Minogue. Accordingly, the Mail’s bid for the right was lower than the Sun’s.
And then this:
Ironically, former News of the World journalists [prop. R. Murdoch] have revealed that Bower’s revelation of Cowell’s short-lived relationship with Minogue was something they had tried to publish up a couple of years ago. The story was put forward to Colin Myler, the News of the World editor, who was happy to run it, until, the former journalists said, Cowell rang News International chief executive Rebekah Brooks [prop. R. Murdoch]. The story was dropped after that call.
The art and artfulness of crying lik a politician:
NORMALLY, one would feel sympathy for anyone reduced to tears by a Ken Livingstone campaign video. But when the blubber is Ken himself, and the tears are in full public view and in the presence of his own party leader, the response is likely to be rather different.
ART Frahm, the American creator of pin-ups, worked on one overriding principle: gravity plus everyday objects, notably celery, equals art. Falling panties were his sunflowers. You ladies had best stronger knicker elastic or else. As James Lileks notes: “Her pants are down and she can’t run. Have at it, boys!” The men in the pictures are always shocked and delighted, their greasepaint eyebrows lifted in expectation of still more excitement. Will she pick up her fallen groceries and celery sticks? Let’s find out:
AND so it came to pass that Pippa Middleton did change the course of popular culture. No longer is waving a gun – imaginary or with hooked fingers – the stuff of the urban warrior. It’s now the kind of thing entitled braying ninnies do on their way to a fancy dress party in gay Paris.
As soon as news of Pippa and her chums’ gun larks reached LA, local gang members put down their weapons and looked for other past-times. Says one local gang leader:
“Now dat motha-fuckka Pippa has popped a cpa in da ass of our look we be needin’ some new ideas.”
The Simon Cowell Sex Factor: lover stole TV star’s wallet and X Factor secrets but never told anyone
DAY Three of Simon Cowell’s orgy of print, according to Tom Bower’s serialised biography. Having not had sex with Cheryl Cole, Natalie Imbruglia and sat next to “brave” Dannii Minogue on the telly, the Sun’s front-page news is that the macho TV mogul once took a “woman” back to his LA hotel room. There, she stole “his wallet and a laptop full of show secrets”. It was just dumb luck that the thief he met in America last October never realised the wallet belonged to minter TV megastar S. Cowell or opened the computer and accessed the Top Secret X Factor Files. She most likely tossed the haul into a canal and went into hiding.
While the Sun bangs on about the X Factor for two pages – the sensation is that Cowell realised last year’s show was crap – the Daily Star ignores that and leads with news that Simon Cowell was “secretly engaged to a Daily Star Page 3 girl”.
ED Miliband has inspired the mind behind Rather Like Ed Miliband to create a Tumblr site of things that look like the Labour Party leader:
“One of the baby is not fully developed giving the present physical structure to the baby.”
Imran Sheikh, the father, wants help:
“”I can’t afford to visit Karachi and get treated my baby. I appeal philanthropists and the government to come forward for treatment of the baby.”
“COWELL’S AFFAIR WITH DANNII”
Inside the paper, Ben Jackson’s “world exclusive” tells readers:
SIMON Cowell had a sensational secret affair with X Factor judge Dannii Minogue, The Sun can reveal.
IT’S Ladies Day at Aintree 2012. The woman are shod and in the saddle. Everyone’s in the Chair. The most ladylike woman on show was Coleen Rooney. The rest were doing their best to maker her look like royalty. Who’s your favourite? And how do the ladies stack up to last year’s stable mates..?
THANKS to Clean & Dry Intimate Wash, you can “brighten” the skin around your vagina. For just Rs 90 (about £1) you can put spring in your step and your otter’s pocket. As the product informs the owners of darker, flatter less vivacious vaginas, there is hope:
“Life for women will now be fresher, cleaner and more importantly fairer and more intimate.
“Women can use this unique wash during their bath to cleanse their parts. The special PH balance formula maintains the skin’s sensitive PH balance keeping it fresh and protected from infection all day. For the first time women can now also brighten the darkened skin in thar [sic] area making it many shades fairer.”
The Devil is a master of disguise, even better than Heidi Klum. To date, the Devil has appeared as a serpent, a great red dragon, an archangel (all Bible), two brothers in Edlington, a dog in Stratford, East London (both the Sun), Haiti and Karren Brady’s chest. Now the Devil is a middle-aged mum-of-seven who is “slimmer and disguised with a new short hairdo” on a trip to buy ciggies.
The Sun adds:
Cruel Matthews looked chuffed to bits when she went shopping yesterday sporting the striking makeover.
Joe Eszterhas’ letter to ‘Jew hater’ Mel Gibson and Gibson’s reply in full – the Judah Maccabee missives
It’s an odd letter that rambles and rumbles on and on, focusing a lot on Mel’s anti-Semitic outbursts. Eszterhas has written the scripts for the films Showgirl, Basic Instinct and Jade. If the Maccabees script is like this letter then the film might not be worth the effort. Indeed, the best option would be to make a film of the letter, and to include Gibson’s reply, which can be read on the last page: