ALL gone tits-up?
Forty-two is no age at all for a model these days, but life could be ending rather than beginning at 40 for Britain’s most famous glamour modeling institution. Rupert Murdoch, responding to a tweet this week suggesting that the Sun’s Page 3 is “so last century”, replied: “You may be right, don’t know but considering.”
As you prepare your St Valentine’s Day meals, take care. Cooking can lead to rows. We’ve chronicled arguements over dinner in the news…
A husband killed his ‘nagging’ wife by clubbing her to death with a lump hammer after a row about mashed potato. Colin Adlard, 61 snapped and repeatedly struck his wife Wendy with the hammer while she was in bed because she would not stop shouting at him and berating him.
A man turned to drugs to de-stress following a heated row with his girlfriend over defrosting waffles. Jamie Paddison of Grantham, Lincolnshire admitted possession of cannabis after being found carrying the Class B drug on December 19. Bill Fraser, defending, told the court Paddison had made good progress in reducing his use of the drug but had a habit of turning to it in times of stress, as he did following a row with his girlfriend. Mr Fraser added: “The row was about how they should have defrosted their waffles - which seems a bit bizarre to me.”
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PSSST! Want to see photos of Kate Middleton on holiday in Mustique? Well, then you’ll have to buy a copy of Italy’s Chimagazine, which has published the shots of the pregnant Duchess of Cambridge. The British need to make do with the Daily Mail’s news that said photos have been met with “Royal fury”.
Louise Eccles and Rebecca English poor scorn on that “tawdry” foreign rag. How very dare it cause our British Princess anguish the sticky fingers of a long lens. Meanwhile, on other Mail pages you can read:
Jenny Frost shows off her growing curves in bikini as she talks fans through her pregnancy – 10/10/2012
Revealing Victoria’s Secrets! Doutzen Kroes shows off her fabulous post-pregnancy figure in daring black bikini – 16/02/2012
Making waves! Megan Fox shows off pre-pregnancy body in tiny black bikini – 30/11/2012
Glowing Myleene Klass shows her pregnancy curves in all their glory in a white bikini – 07/11/2010
Pregnant Tori Spelling shows off her growing baby bump in a bikini… and a new tattoo tribute to husband Dean – 04/05/2011
Bumpin’ in Barbados! Coleen Rooney shows off her pregnancy curves as she soaks up the sunshine with son Kai – 06/02/2013
Baby on board! Jessica Simpson’s best friend CaCee Cobb shows off her bump in string bikini – 02/02/2013
JESUS Is My Nigga “Pastor Rap”. It’s American pastor Jim Colerick and his wife, Mary Sue, doin’ Rappin’ for Jesus.
My crew is big and it keeps getting bigga, that’s cause Jesus Christ is my ni**a!
We can’t find much news on Colerick. But rumours are that he operates at West Dubuque 2nd Church Of Christ.
If it is a spoof, it’s a pretty good one. These, however, are true. Really. This actually happened. These tunes prove the point: the Devil has all the best songs:
IN Mali, the fighting is brutal:
The crowd gawked at human torso remains lying in the rubble, along with other fragments of flesh. “It’s disgusting but wonderful to see. These people tortured us, they did nothing but damage here,” said Mahamane Tandina, 24, cheered on by the crowd. “We like this, frankly,” he said with a smile.
A Malian officer closes a cell where suspected Islamist rebel group the Movement for Oneness and Jihad in West Africa, MUJAO, fighters are held in Gao, northern Mali, Monday Feb. 11 2013, one day after MUJAO fighters engaged in a firefight with Malian forces.The attack in Gao shows the Islamic fighters, many of them well armed and with combat experience, are determined and daring and it foreshadows a protracted campaign by France and other nations to restore government control in this vast Saharan nation in northwest Africa.(AP Photo/Jerome Delay)
POLICE hunting triple-killer Christopher Dornerhave issued a $1m (£633,000) reward for information on his whereabouts. As with all modern killers, Dorner has posted an online manifesto. He included the pathetic phrase: “Don’t ever call me a bully.”
>Mayor of Los Angeles, Antonio Villaraigosa, wants him caught:
“We will not tolerate this reign of terror that has robbed us of the peace of mind that the residents of southern California deserve.”
Sacked from the police, Dorner, a former U.S. Navy reserve lieutenant, wants revenge.
Charlie Beck, the LAPD chief also wants him caught:
“This is not about capturing a fleeing fugitive, this is about preventing a future crime. Every day that Dorner is loose … [an] attack on a police officer, or family is likely. We ask the public to help us find Dorner before he kills again.”
DECADES before it went live, Robert Crumb predicted Twitter and the internet:
“Everyone will be tuned into everything that’s happening all the time! No-one will be left out. We’ll all be normal!”
THE SUN leads with news that married Manchester United defender and suggestive child’s toy Patrice Evra had been “partying with Playboy twins Carla and Melissa Howe” (photos). He was not alone. The Sunsays Evra invited the British Howe twins – Melissa and Carla are 22 – to a Paris club along with four pals including Red Devils team-mate Anderson.
Anderson is single, and a man who has previously only ever been photographed with his dinner. Evra is a Father-of-one married to the fragrant Sandra.
It all sounds like a lot of nothing until you read the front page: “Playboy Twin: My Sex With Rat Evra.”
DID you stay up to see Beyonce perform in New Orleans? It was tough going. In the UK, the show was broadcast in the early hours of the morning. To make it harder to stay up that late, the event was squashed between something called the NFL Super Bowl XLVII football game, a contest between the lycra-clad San Francisco 49ers and the shoulder-heavy Baltimore Ravens. Staying awake was testing for any metrosexuals not into 1980s fashions. But if you put in the hard yards, Beyonce was there. You got to see Destiny’s Child reunited – shame the extra ladies lost their voices whenever Beyonce sang ,or their Mr Microphones had failed at the last – and the birth of the Beyonce Derp meme. How committed to the show was Beyonce? Get a load of the game face. She was all in:
THEY do a lot of work for charity, and they DO like to mention it!
When it comes to self-promotion you have to hand it to him. Transfer deadline day arrives and instead of talking about a 22-year-old Brazilian or Portuguese hotshot on his way to Chelsea or Manchester to City, the media is frothing with excitement over a 37-year-old former international whose main purpose these days is to sell merchandise with his name on.
THIS might be the greatest TV news interview of 2013:
The now ex-wife, Vicky Price, exposed her husband’s lying to get revenge for his affair.
And then there’s the son, Peter Huhne, who when aged 18, was unimpressed by dad’s relationship with Carina Trimingham. He told dad to “f*** off”.
WE still have no evidence of what happened to Kyron Horman, the seven-year-old who went missing from Skyline School in northwest Portland on June 4, 2010. We don’t know what crime befell him. We don’t know know it he was the victim of a crime.
The latest news is that lawyers working for Kyron father, Kaine Horman, have filed a motion to delay the divorce proceedings against his estranged wife, Kyron’s step-mother Terri Horman. Says Kaine Horman:
“There’s two civil cases pending right now, one from his mother and then the divorce case that we have that’s still pending and on hold. And that’s exactly how we’re going to progress. We need to bring him home.”
IN “Children ‘are put at risk’ as prostitutes use Facebook to sell their wares“, Fiona Hamilton, Murad Ahmed and Billy Kenber tell Times readers of the perils of using Facebook and Twitter:
Prostitutes and escort agencies are openly using Facebook and other social networks to advertise their services and tout for new business.
So..? And what’s that about “wares”? Bit snotty, no? People who sell wares are iffy, shady types. They are selling sex.
Hundreds of unrestricted pages dedicated to the sex trade have been created on social networking sites, fuelling concerns that children are being exposed to explicit content and offers of adult services.
MARIJUANA. Let’s just legalise it. Not glamourise it.
A nameless cannabis delivery guy delivers his much needed medication to stressed-out New Yorkers in this character-driven web series. High Maintenance was created by husband and wife team Ben Sinclair and Katja Blichfeld. They produce the series with their BFF Russell Gregory as Janky Clown Productions.
SAD to say that Regretsy, the site that documented the “objects d’fart” for sale on craft site easy? Etsy sells handcrafted and vintage things. Well, so it says. Much of the stuff is good. A lot of it is haunting. And it still sells:
EXTRACTS from Robert Baden-Powell’s Scouting for Boys. In the Intro, Baden Powell signed off “Chief Scout of the World”. The book was originally published in installments every other Wednesday from January 15, 1908:
You should remember that being one fellow among many others, you are like one brick among many others in the wall of a house. If you are discontented with your place or your neighbors or if you are a rotten brick, you are no good to the wall. You are rather a danger. If the bricks get quarrelling among themselves the wall is liable to split and the whole house to fall.
While Pink Floyd hummed that, boys just hummed:
“The result of ‘self-abuse’ is always—mind you, always—that the boy after a time becomes weak and nervous and shy, he gets headaches and probably palpitation of the heart, and if he still carries it on too far he very often goes out of his mind and becomes an idiot… several awful diseases come from indulgence—one especially that rots away the inside of men’s mouths, their noses, and eyes, etc.”
Etc? Sounds ominous.
“Avoid listening to stories or reading or thinking about dirty subjects”
And then, oddly:
”It is at present a disgrace and a danger to England that from want of self-restraint among men and women thousands upon thousands of children are born every year for whom there is no work and no money.”
JEREMY Kyle has cancer. But he vows to be back on the telly just as soon as his testicles are better. When someone falls ill, it might be a good time to quieten your negative feelings for them. So, here was Dermot O’Leary at the man-hugging, back-slapping National Television awards (Jan 23) reportedly saying:
“Jeremy Kyle can’t be here tonight. He’s poorly. That’s karma for you.”
CARLY McKinney taught maths at Overland High School in Aurora, Colorado. Well, she used to. Miss McKinney’s been suspended for has been suspended for posting half-naked photos of herself on Twitter and joking about using drugs at school. It’s legal to smoke marijuana in Colorado. She did not have sex on camera – she’s no Stacie Halas. She just posted a few racy shots of herself on the web. All terrible, of course, and mush worse that, say being a politician who took illegal drugs in their youth, or one who dressed as a Nazi.
GERALD Scarfe has just achieved the notable achievement of forcing Rupert Murdoch into a public apology, after his Sunday Times cartoon of Israel’s prime minister, with its overtones of blood libel, attracted widespread accusations of anti-semitism.
ON President Barack Obama closing Guanatanmo Bay:
“Four years ago, Barack Obama’s first act as President was an executive order to close the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. The White House created a position at State of ‘special envoy’ to Guantanamo, whose duties included reviewing the pending cases with Attorney General Eric Holder, and diplomacy with allies to place the current detainees in order to close the facility. Four years later, the only thing being closed is Special Envoy Daniel Freed’s office.”
CENSORSHIP reared its ugly head again this week, as the BBC cut a line of dialogue from the classic comedy Fawlty Towers, in which the ‘old-fashioned’ major tells Basil about the time he took a lady to see India play cricket at the Oval:
‘The strange thing was, throughout the morning she kept referring to the Indians as niggers. “No, no, no,” I said, “the niggers are the West Indians. These people are wogs”.’
TO the 30th AVN Awards Show at The Joint in the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas. Penthouse Video’s Kelly Holland assures us: From the golden statuettes, an entwined boy-girl couple, to the entertainment (less skin than a Rihanna performance on the X Factor), the show reeked of lip balm professionalism. America takes its porn seriously. This is a business worth £8.5 billion. The awards feature a gong for Best Overall Marketing Campaign and Best Educational Release for Belladonna’s How To: F**k!. In a nod to equality there was an award for Best Transsexual Sex Scene. Look out for award for Best Assertiveness Programme in the Workplace Scene (Tie Me Up Boss), Best Support of Diversity in the Workplace (Somalians On Top), Best Use of Interns (Barely Legal Office Work). Here are the porn stars who make looking at people having sex something you can do without breaking the law or invading privacy:
PEOPLE of Wiltshire have been getting naked in the snow. Add this to the list of reasons to love snow. Existing reasons include: no school; horse meat stays freshers for longer; snowmen; even Basildon looks better; snowballs. It’s for charity. The women look fun and at ease with themselves, and, as is the way, the men come over a little coy. Look out for the lads hiding their snowmen / balls behind all manner of objects, our favourite being a china Buddha:
Posted: 23rd, January 2013 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0
IT’S been a while since the last
There have been nine arrests so far. Enough for a game of Celebrity Squares, the 1970s noughts and crosses gameshow with a twist. There should be further arrests – the Star promised more on January 13, stating: “Savile cops will arrest seven more stars” – but many VIPS (as they were known in their pomp) are dead. Also, if the Star can make celebrities of X Factor also-rans and minor soap opera actors, the Celebrity Police Force might not think it worth the effort to nick a Crossroads extra. We could dig up some real stars gone by, but then we’d be necrophiliacs, like Jimmy Savile.