Key Posts Category
LIVERPOOL FC’s widely distributed list of things you cannot say has yet to be handed to all fans entering the Anfield ground. Your moral credentials will not be checked at the gate…yet.
I have said infantile things at football matches, mostly when I was young and thought it funny and possibly liberating to sing things I would never sing at a polite dinner table; belting out abusive lyrics to songs like the First Noel:
Hoddle, Hoddle, Hoddle, Hoddle
Born is the Queen of Golder’s Green
That’s racist! Nowadays it could be. I knew that words cold hurt. Well, that was the idea. You get worked up in support of your own team and say things designed to damage the opposition. You don’t mean it. The song was targeting Spurs’ best player and the fans, many of whom are Jewish (Golder’s Green has a considerable Jewish demographic). It would also be now classed a homophobic. Hoddle is not the King of Israel, as the Spurs fans might have had it. He was the Queen. Was I a homophobic anti-Semite? No. I just thought it was funny. The song did not show me in my true colours. They were just part of the match.
Was Hoddle offended? No. He just smiled and – get this – later became a born again Christian.
(It was he who said: “You and I have been physically given two hands and two legs and half-decent brains. Some people have not been born like that for a reason. The karma is working from another lifetime. I have nothing to hide about that. It is not only people with disabilities. What you sow, you have to reap.”)
Arsenal fans also had this to say about their own Nwankwo Kanu:
He’s big, he’s black, he’s had a heart attack, King Kanu, King Kanuuuuu
CENSORSHIP disclaimer: To avoid setting off any overzealous Internet morality filters, or painfully jostling the sharp, pointy stick which (I am absolutely convinced) must be wedged up deep within David Cameron’s nether zone, this article will scrupulously avoid using certain words that rhyme with “hex” or “born” (replace the H and B with an S and P, respectively).
The goal is primarily to ensure this can be read by any Britons who might run afoul of the UK’s proposed anti-[p]born Internet filter which, naturally, is proposed in the name of The Children. Well, it is silly season, and with no Great White sharks have been spotted off the coast of Brighton, the Government wants us to look for and talk about minority-interest porn. Life is imitating Friends:
THE Kyron Horman case is ‘heating up’. It’s been 3 years and 2 months since the seven-year-old boy went missing from the Skyline Elementary school in Portland Oregon. The local Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office are still without a single clue as to what happened to him.
No-one has been named as a suspect. What crime, if any, befell the child has not been established. the media has been doing the police dirty work in cranking up pressure on Kyron’s step-mother, Terri Horman. She is now estranged from the boy’s father, Kaine Horman.
Why is the step-mother in the frame? Terri Moulton Horman is the last person known to have seen Kyron before he vanished from Skyline School on June 4 2010. And that’s it.
The Oregonian reports:
Kyron Horman’s mother to drop civil suit in son’s disappearance
A ONE Direction Fans writes in response to the article on the band in GQ magazine:
@trxpicalouis’ “whAT THE FUCK THEY MADE LOUIS LOOK LIKE AN ASSHOLE I S2G HE IS A FUCKING ANGEL I AM GOING TO FIND GQ AND FUCKING BOMB THEM SEE YOU IN JAIL”
DO celebrities get on your wick? Or does the grandstanding and rampant self-promotion make no difference so long as the message gets out there to great unwashed? And does being a celebrity mean you can no longer function as a private person; everything you do is cloaked in PR and marketing; you are the eternal brand?
News is that Bianca Jagger is against fracking for oil and gas in the British countryside, chiefly at Balcombe in West Sussex.
IN the 1970s, the US Government created Documerica Project (1971-1977). The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) hired freelance photographers to capture images relating to environmental problems, EPA activities, and everyday life in the 1970s.
John H White was one of nearly one hundred photographers hired for DOCUMERICA. His photographs captured the spirit and struggle of the African-American community in Chicago, Illinois in the early 70′s.
The captions are the original texts:
Sidewalk Merchandise On Chicago’s South Side. Many Of The City’s Black Businessmen Started Small And Grew By Working Hard Today Chicago Is Believed To Be The Black Business Capital Of The United States, 06/1973
Graffiti On A Wall In Chicago. Such Writing Has Advanced And Become An Art Form, Particularly In Metropolitan Areas. Black Artists Also Have Used Walls On Buildings In Black Communities In Chicago To Paint Outdoor Murals. They Feel It Is A Means Of Sharing Art With People In The Ghetto Who Don’t Go To The Museums. The Artists Also Have Given Painting Lessons To Community Groups By Decorating Walls On Some Buildings In Their Communities, 05/1973
Street Scene On 47th Street In South Side Chicago, A Busy Area Where Many Small Black Businesses Are Located, 06/1973
Black Beauties Complement A Float During The Bud Billiken Day Parade, 08/1973
Isaac Hayes Dancers Perform At The International Amphitheater In Chicago, 10/1973
Black Children Play Outside The Ida B. Wells Homes, One Of Chicago’s Oldest Housing Projects. There Are 1,652 Apartments Housing 5,920 Persons In 124 Buildings On The South Side. Many Buildings In This Part Of The City Have Been Systematically Vacated For Various Reasons. Even Though Many Are Salvageable, They Are Razed And Replaced With High Rent Highrises Which Have Little Or No Appeal To The Area’s Previous Residents, 05/1973
Worshippers At Holy Angel Catholic Church On Chicago’s South Side. It Is The City’s Largest Black Catholic Church. The Pastor Is Father George H. Clements, A Leader In The Black Community, 10/1973
Illinois Governor Dan Walker Greets Chicago Constituents During The Bud Billiken Day Parade, 08/1973
A Black Band Performs At The Lake Meadows Shopping Center In Chicago. Not Well Known, They Are Sharing Their Music At Home And Hope Their Start Will Lead To Greater Recognition, 08/1973
Black Muslim Women Dressed In White Applaud Elijah Muhammad During The Delivery Of His Annual Savior’s Day Message In Chicago. The City Is Headquarters For The Black Muslims. Their $75 Million Empire Includes A Mosque, Newspaper, University Restaurants, Real Estate, Bank And Variety Of Retail Stores Muhammad Died February 25, 1975, 03/1974
“The Fruit Of Islam”, A Special Group Of Bodyguards For Muslim Leader Elijah Muhammad, Sit At The Bottom Of The Platform While He Delivers His Annual Savior’s Day Message In Chicago, 03/1974
The Rev. Jesse Jackson Speaks On A Radio Broadcast From The Headquarters Of Operation Push, At Its Annual Convention. One Of The Aims Of The Organization Is To Open The World Of Business To Small Black Owned Businesses. Rev. Jackson Is Credited For Helping To Make Chicago The Black Banking Capital In The Country. He Helped Persuade White Companies To Stop Taking Profits They Earned From Black Consumers To The White Suburbs, 07/1973
Vote Registration Drive Was One Aspect Of Black Expo, An Annual Exhibit Of Black Talent, Education, Products And Other Aspects Of Black Consciousness Held In Chicago. The Aim Is To Make Blacks Aware Of Their Heritage And Capabilities, And Help Them Towards A Better Life, 10/1973
Black Man Operating A Newsstand In Chicago On The West Side The City Is Believed To Be The Black Business Capital Of The United States. Census Figures Show In 1970 There Were 8,747 Black Owned Businesses In The City That Grossed More Than $332 Million. But Black Capitalists Still Have More Trouble Staying In Business Once They Begin And The Main Reason Remains Racial Prejudice. Lack Of Capital Lack Of Business Expertise And Lack Of Support From The Black Community Are Other Factors, 06/1973
Black Youngsters Performing On An Empty Lot At 5440 South Princeton Avenue On Chicago’s South Side At A Small Community Program Called “an Open Air Fashion And Talent Show” Presented By “the New Between The Tracks Council”, A Community Block Group. It Is One Of Many Block Clubs And Community Groups Organized To Help Youngsters “do Their Thing” During Special Weekend Programs In Empty Lots In The Black Communities, 08/1973
Black Beauties With Colorful Hair Grace A Float During The Annual Bud Billiken Day Parade Along Dr. Martin L. King Jr. Drive On Chicago’s South Side. Up To Half A Million People View One Of The Largest Events Of The Year, Held For Blacks Of All Ages And Economic Status. The Parade Also Includes Black Politicians, Black Businesses Displaying Their Products And Black Bands, 08/1973
Chicago Ghetto On The South Side. Although The Percentage Of Chicago Blacks Making $7,000 Or More Jumped From 26 To 58% Between 1960 And 1970, A Large Percentage Still Remained Unemployed. The Black Unemployment Rate Generally Is Assumed To Be Twice That Of The National Unemployment Rate Published Monthly By The Bureau Of Labor Statistics, 05/1974
DO the police use an even hand when confronting the Twitter mob in full cry? When Caroline Criado-Perez decried the Bank of England decided to replace Elizabeth Fry with Winston Churchill on new £5 notes – this meant no women, save for The Queens, were on bank notes – she and others who campaigned for equality on folding money brought about a change of heart.
The Bank of England governor, Mark Carney, caved in to pressure and announced that Jane Austen is going on the £10 note.
This brought Criado-Perez to attention of the Twitter brains trust, some of whom called for her to be raped and murdered.
THIS is one of those newspaper pieces where you have to check that the people are still living on the same planet as the rest of us. They’re talking about whether Spotify is paying enough in royalties to the musicians who produce the work. Yet they manage to miss the most basic point about the whole subject:
Spotify is selling a lie, though. In this post-Napster world, the pressure is on for new independent artists to have their music sit alongside massive acts – but we’re not getting anything back. We are told that it’s good exposure, and will lead to increased album and ticket sales, but this simply isn’t the case.
WHAT if Pacific Rim was set in Britain? Yeah. Pacific Rim? As if. First off, no-one would have been able to stop sniggering. And second, well, the sniggering right. But let’s imagine. In the film the characters are called Jaegers. (Yeah. Like the middle-class, provincial fashion outlets). Almost all these Jaegers have two two-noun names created in a Tokyo language school randomiser: Brawler Yukon; Coyote Tango, Solar Prophet and the excellent Gipsy Danger.
Warner Bros’ build-your-own-Jaeger toy lets you create your own:
THE decline of Man: modern man is in a state of crisis, reared on a diet of creams, depilated, patent skin and self-tanning unguents. Here, Anorak looks at the fall of manhood.
“I never fixed my eyes, but I spent more money to stretch the skin of my testicles. I did not like the wrinkles. It’s a new technique, many people in Hollywood have done it. It’s called ‘ball ironing’.”
It is generally assumed that George Clooney was joking when he delivered the above quote. One thing is true, though: ‘ball ironing’ (or ‘male laser lift’) is available at the Beauty Park in Santa Monica for just under $600, and it is proving very popular.
Clooney may not have had the treatment himself, but his familiarity with it is cause for concern. It’s just the latest in a series of milestones in the steady emasculation of our role models. And the rot set in, as it so often did, in the 1950s.
Compton (second left, with Burt Lancaster and Frankie Vaughan) was a brilliant batsman with a Test average of 50 (including over 200 runs in one match against South Africa using an antique bat borrowed from the cricket museum). He also found time to play football for Arsenal, with whom he won both the league championship and the FA Cup. Unfortunately, he also became the face of Brylcreem, and set the tone for future generations of sportsmen to dabble in the darker corners of male grooming.
Presley offended people in numerous ways –not least with his habit of wearing eye makeup. None of which stopped him from being drafted into the US Army. Here the prospective GI sits his written military exam, in slightly more discreet slap.
As deodorant manufacturers attempted to broaden their appeal to the male half of the population, they recruited macho sporty types like Our ’Enery (’ere wiv’ ’Arvey Smiff) who here advertises Brut with the immortal slogan ‘Splash it all over’.
Big Ron: The Sunbed Years.
In his playing days as opening bat for England, ‘Goochy’ sported an imperial moustache and resembled an officer at Rourk’s Drift. His subsequent hair transplant came as something of a shock – and led to a series of rather defensive gestures. Defensive, not about the fact of the transplant, but the quality of the weave itself.
Here Gooch, as the official caption puts it, ‘test[s] his hair replacement treatment in a Central London health Gym, to disprove claims that the treatment does not work. The former England captain is at the centre of an disgreement, after a client of AHS (Advanced Hair Studio) along with the Advertising Standards Authority claimed that adverts claiming that Gooch could swim, shower, and play sport with his hair treatment were wrong and misleading.’
The signs were there as a young boy, when he enjoyed wearing knickerbockers and ballet shoes. Later we had his own take on Brylcreem advertising (above) and experiments with sarongs. His nomination here, however, is for his championing of the ‘back. sack and crack’ – the logical conclusion of the waxing mania that overtook British manhood in the twenty-first century.
Deserves his place here for his role in the general poncification of older men, with his truly terrible Just For Men advertisement – a product for disguising grey hair and beards and allowing old men to kid themselves that they are attractive to women half their age.
Cristiano Ronaldo and Rio Ferdinand
AKA: Ronaldo and Rio in hotpants hell. What were they thinking? Seriously?
He held his hands up to the hair transplant, and fair play to him for that, but Shane’s explanation for his subsequent transformation into a taught-faced waxwork is altogether less convincing: he attributed it to ‘good moisturiser’. Others spoke of botox, facelifts and teeth whitening. Wherefore art thou, Warney-o?
The citadel falls. Once upon a time the best you could hope for in a rugby union changing room was a bar of coal tar soap and a turd in your kit bag. Now you are more likely to find a range of hair and skin care products. Leinster Rugby are now sponsored by Nivea for Men. Or should that be ‘Men’?
O tempora, o mores!
ASK not what your can do for your future King but what your future King can do for you. Kate Middleton and Prince William’s son is but a few hours old and already he’s working hard:
OI, big head, you’ve got a hyperflesh masks of Jack Nicholson, Ron Jeremy, Mike Tyson, Barack Obama and Charlie Sheen head.
Spotter: BlessThisStuff, Landon Meier
ONCE upon a time, Charles Saatchi was a figure of mystery, a man who sold us the Conservative Party and told us that a pickled, halved shark in a vat of preservative was high art. Then he married TV cook Nigella Lawson, grabbed her throat in public and became a celebrity and tabloid mainstay. Now, in tribute to the great art collector’s life in ink and formaldehyde, an artist at the Lambeth fair has created Artichoke, a celebration of Nige and Chas in vegetables:
YOU can filter out the word “porn” from google searches. I know this because my search was blocked when I went to check more information on the Sky News story:
“PM: Child Abuse Web Searches ‘Must Be Banned’ - Internet companies could be forced to blacklist certain words if they do not act on their “moral duty”, David Cameron will warn.
I was curious because a couple of days earlier David Cameron had been talking about crime:
“Your streets, houses and businesses are the safest they’ve been in a generation and are proof that our reforms are working.
“We’ve slashed the out-of-control bureaucracy that has seen police officers spending nearly half their shifts doing paperwork.”
EVERYONE, save for her blessed Majesty The Queen, needs a passport to travel overseas. (A British passport is issued in the name of Her Majesty, so it is unnecessary for The Queen to possess one.) This mean that Her Majesty need not pose for the dreaded passport photo – small relief given that her head is scrutinised on coinage and stamps.
Britishers applying for a passport should submit an exacting photograph:
Your photo may be rejected unless it shows you:
facing forward and looking straight at the camera
with a neutral expression and your mouth closed
without anything covering the face
in clear contrast to the background
without a head covering (unless it’s worn for religious or medical reasons)
with eyes open, visible and free from reflection or glare from glasses
with your eyes not covered by sunglasses, tinted glasses, glasses frames or hair
without any shadows in the picture
In this gallery of passports, we see how the rich and famous coped with posing for tiny picture that would be scrutinised by lantern-jawed officialdom.
Passports issued in the 1950s to John F. Kennedy and Jacqueline Bouvier Kenned.
The stamps forms an almost perfect target about his head.
FAMOUS people and animals. Do the pets make the famous faces look more of less lovable? Are the pets just props?
SGT Sean Murphy was there when alleged Boston Marathon bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was captured hiding beneath the cover of a boat. He took photos. This one shows the 19-year-old carrying the red dot of a sniper’s rifle laser sight on his forehead.
Sgt Murphy says his pictures show the “real Boston bomber, not someone fluffed and buffed”.
Surely, he means to say ‘the alleged bomber’?
STREAKER of the year is Wati Holmwood, who invaded the St of Origin ruby match, very possibly ruining it. He says: “It all happened so quickly, I don’t know what was going through my head. I just wanted to make it interesting but I stuffed up Origin. A lot of people hate me now.” Probably the same stuff when in 2011 he jumped a fence at the Sydney Football Stadium and interrupted a match between the Wests Tigers and the New Zealand Warriors.