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Seedy 1970s TV: Petula Clark And The Scorpio People, Starring Jimmy Savile And Diana Dors’ Swimming Pool

dors brown Seedy 1970s TV: Petula Clark And The Scorpio People, Starring Jimmy Savile And Diana Dors Swimming Pool

 

IT’S hard to explain how peculiar TV was in the 1970s. Better to show you kids what the olds had to watch.

On November 16, 1974, Petula Clarke starred in The Sound of Petula. . .The Tale of a Scorpio, Petula sang about people born under the Scorpio star sign.

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Posted: 28th, March 2014 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


5 Movie Maniacs From The 1980s That Wanted To Be Freddy Krueger

throne8 300x224 5 Movie Maniacs From The 1980s That Wanted To Be Freddy Krueger

 

 

THERE’S an old saying that goes: “if you’re going to take a shot at the king, make sure you don’t miss.”

Such words of wisdom also apply to the movie monsters of the 1980s.

Thirty years ago, in 1984, Wes Craven’s “bastard son of a hundred maniacs,” Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund) rose up to become the reigning king of the horror film with the theatrical release of A Nightmare on Elm Street.  The Gloved One took New Line — “The House That Freddy Built” — straight to the top with him.

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Posted: 27th, March 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


I Was At Diana Dors’ Sex Parties: Max Clifford, Bob Monkhouse’s ‘Slit Eyeballs’ And The Krays

PA 5426755 I Was At Diana Dors Sex Parties: Max Clifford, Bob Monkhouses Slit Eyeballs And The Krays

 

DIANA Dors is in the news. When the tittering had died down in court, Max Clifford told the jury in his sex crimes trial that he attended “sex parties” hosted by the actress Diana Dors. Mr Clifford denies 11 counts of indecent assault against seven women and girls.

Dors was one of the country’s biggest stars. Dors was billed as Britain’s Marilyn Monroe.

Her real name was Diana Fluck – but her mother said she should change it because there was always the chance that her name would be up in lights outside a cinema – and one of the letters might fall off.

 

dors dors I Was At Diana Dors Sex Parties: Max Clifford, Bob Monkhouses Slit Eyeballs And The Krays

 

 

And she had hosted sex parties at her Orchard Manor home in Sunningdale, Berkshire.

* It really is terrifying how gullible and naïve I was and still am,” she ­confessed to author Clive Hirschhorn in 1968. “I fell for hard-luck stories the way boys fall for girls. To make things worse I surrounded myself with ­gangsters, conmen and phoneys!”

 

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Actress Diana Dors, in her early twenties, during the filming of “Value For Money” in 1955.

 

 

She had a turbulent love life.

 

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19 year old film actress Diana Dors and her new husband Dennis Hamilton, 26 year old representative of an engineering firm, leaving Caxton Hall register office after their wedding. Date: 03/07/1951

 

Rob Baker takes up the story.

She married her first husband, Dennis Hamilton, at 4.pm 3rd July 1951 at Caxton Hall registry office in Westminster. She was just nineteen and already a film star. Her parents, not over-enamoured with the proposed union, decided not to come, and Diana, who was still under the, then, legal age of 21, had to forge their signatures on the form that gave permission for their daughter to be married.

 

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Film star Diana Dors, who has filed a divorce petition against her husband, Dennis Hamilton, pictured with actor Tommy Yeardye before they left London Airport for Rome. Date: 02/07/1957

 

The Caxton Hall wedding between Diana Dors and Dennis Hamilton wasn’t the smoothest of affairs. Before the ceremony the couple had posed for pictures outside (Hamilton had tipped off the press) but eventually the registrar tapped Hamilton on the shoulder and asked for a quiet word. The official discretely told him that he had received an anonymous phone call with the information that the marriage application had been forged.

Hamilton, furious, grabbed the registrar by the throat and shouted: “You’ll marry us, all right, or I’ll knock your fu*king teeth down your throat.”

 

diana in godiva rides again I Was At Diana Dors Sex Parties: Max Clifford, Bob Monkhouses Slit Eyeballs And The Krays

 

They had met just five weeks previously after Dennis had chatted Diana up when asking her for a light. She was instantly charmed. Although Diana already had a boyfriend, a man of dubious morals named Michael Caborn-Waterfield, Hamilton sent her flowers almost daily. Unfortunately, Michael went to prison for a fortnight after one too many shady business deals and Dennis pounced. He proposed to Diana at the end of June 1951 and they became Mr and Mrs Hamilton just four days later.

Dors was in the middle of working on a film called Godiva Rides Again [see photo above] so there was no honeymoon after the wedding, just a meal in Olivelli’s in Store Street. The guests all paid for their own meals.

 

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At home in 1960

 

Said Maxwell:

“There would have been parties from my younger days when I was friends with Diana Dors because Diana had parties. hey were not orgies. Not everyone went there and took their clothes off.”

The sex parties became a feature of her life from her first marriage.

By the time of her wedding she had already been a contract girl for J Arthur Rank for five years and had made some fifteen films including a role in David Lean’s Oliver Twist.

She was certainly not untalented but had always struggled to find real noteworthy roles and a rather turbulent private life certainly didn’t help her cause. She had been renting a small flat off the Kings Road from 1949 for six guineas a week but was eventually thrown out after complaints from the neighbours for the endless parties, late nights and loud music. The nights must have been very late and the music very loud because she wrote in her first autobiography in 1960:

“I didn’t realise it but the cute flat was slap dab in the middle of one of the worst areas I could have established myself in, for Chelsea in those days, just after the war, was much wilder than it is today.”

In 1950, while seeing Caborn-Waterfield, she also had a traumatic illegal abortion, performed on a kitchen table in Battersea, for ten quid.

The ‘interesting’ private life didn’t disappear now that she was married to Hamilton. Not long after their wedding he introduced her to, what were basically, sex parties.

 

PA 4533866 I Was At Diana Dors Sex Parties: Max Clifford, Bob Monkhouses Slit Eyeballs And The Krays

 

 

Just a few months after Diana and Dennis’s wedding, Bob Monkhouse, then a 24 year old up-and-coming script writer, was invited to one of their parties. The lights were very low when he got there with almost the only lumination coming from a 16mm projector showing hard core porn (stag films or blue movies as they were known then) and there was a faint smell of Amyl Nitrate in the air.

Monkhouse was quickly invited to bed by a very attractive and comely young dancer. It was a little too quickly and he soon realised that something wasn’t quite right. After his eyes adjusted to the darkness he saw that there was a false mirror on the ceiling and the other party guests were watching behind it. Furious, he stormed out of the room, with the ‘dancer’ shouting, “I think he’s a homo”. He was met by Dors in the hallway who said:

“Some people absolutely adore putting on a show, they come back to my parties just to do that.”

 

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Scriptwriter and comedian Bob Monkhouse with his family, wife Elizabeth, son Simon (centre behind), and adopted daughter Abigail, in their St John’s Wood home in London.  Date: 23/02/1962

 

The following year Monkhouse and Dors met again at a Sunday evening radio show and they had a brief affair. Diana lied that her husband was in New York to lower Monkhouse’s guard. Eventually Hamilton found out about the affair and threatened Monkhouse with a cut-throat razor screaming at his face:

“I’m going to slit your eyeballs!”

Monkhouse only escaped by kneeing Hamilton in the groin and running away, but he once wrote that he had spent the next six years continually looking over his shoulder. He only had to worry for six years because in 1959 Dennis Hamilton suddenly died. His death was initially blamed on a heart attack but the day after the funeral Dors found out that he had died of tertiary syphilis. It never came to light, despite many autobiographies, whether she had contracted the disease herself.

 

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Head of the panel of judges, Bob Monkhouse gives a hug to 23-year-old Eileen-Elizabeth Sheridan of Walton-on-Thames, Surrey, after she had won the title of Miss Great Britain, at Morecambe, Lancashire. To their right is runner up Barbara Smith,23, of Walthamstow, London. Date: 01/09/1960

 

Her career floundered:

Diana Dors made one acclaimed film in the fifties called Yield To The Night – a movie that was loosely based on the Ruth Ellis story but it’s not entirely unfair to say that she starred in some of the worst films ever made. After an unsuccessful foray to Hollywood (a public affair with Rod Steiger and and an incident where Hamilton beat up a photographer unconscious didn’t help), her film career, despite the very early promise, never really took off.

 

dirty diana 07 I Was At Diana Dors Sex Parties: Max Clifford, Bob Monkhouses Slit Eyeballs And The Krays

Dors would later complain that while Marilyn Monroe was making How To Marry A Millionaire in Hollywood, she was up in Manchester making It’s A Grand Life with the alcoholic northern comedian Frank Randle. Diana Dors was always a household name but it was her television guest appearances and roles in saucy sex comedies such as The Adventures of a Taxi Driver and Swedish Wildcats, that eventually kept her in the public eye.

She became the diet guru on GMTV in 1983 – where apparently she would weigh herself with all her heavy gold jewellery so it would look like she lost weight the following week. She died of protracted cancer the following year in 1984.

 

 

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British film femme fetale, DIANA DORS, 37 holds her five-day old baby son, JASON LAKE in her bed at a Welbeck Street nursing home in London today (Monday). Diana’s third husband, Alan Lake, 28 is the father of Jason. Diana has two other sons, Mark, 10, and Gary, 7. They live in Hollywood with their father Dickie Dawson. Date: 15/09/1969

 

PA 1244666 I Was At Diana Dors Sex Parties: Max Clifford, Bob Monkhouses Slit Eyeballs And The Krays

Off to Hollywood, California from London’s Heathrow airport today, are actress Diana Dors, her husband, actor Alan Lake, and nine year old son Jason. Alan who feels the cold, wears one of Diana’s own Christmas presents – a full length mink coat. In America, Miss Dors will visit her grown up sons and appear on TV chat shows. Date: 28/12/1978

 

Her son Jason Lake would recall:

“My Dad [Alan Lake] used to get drunk with Richard Harris and Oliver Reed. I’d come back from school and they’d all still be in the living room talking rubbish with the room smelling of cigarettes and alcohol. Lionel Bart had a cocaine habit, so he’d get trashed. I remember him coming out of the loo with cocaine all down his sleeve and Oliver Reed and Dad having sword fights on the lawn.”

 

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With a large ring on her engagement finger, actress DIANA DORS is pictured in London to-night (Monday) with 27 year old actor ALAN LAKE, from Stoke-on-Trent, whom she is to wed. Date: 28/10/1968

 

* “There were no taboos in our house. I was only seven but I was free to wander in and out of my mum’s parties, no matter how hot they got. I would walk around in my pajamas chatting to John Lennon and Keith Moon. Mum would wander around serving cups of tea and trying to get people up into the bedrooms. She loved having friends round to watch the porn films made at the parties. They would sit around giggling as couples groped each other and made love on the bed. Most of them didn’t even know they had been filmed.”

 

Lake and Dors acted together.

 

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Diana Dors and her husband Alan Lake together for the first time on the stage, are seen in ‘Three Months Gone’ which opens at the Royal Court Theatre on Wednesday. Date: 26/01/1970

At home, sex was a commodity:

“It was a more up-to-date version of the two-way mirror. Some of the girls were wise to it. Mum just said: ‘This is what happens’, and I thought it was completely normal.’ Diana got her kicks by watching others having sex and procuring young women for famous men.

* Dors… admitted in a series of newspaper interviews to hosting sex parties at her home in Berkshire attended by celebrities including Bob Monkhouse. Guests would be encouraged to have sex with aspiring young actresses and Dors’s son Jason Lake alleged that the bedrooms were rigged with 8mm movie cameras and that his mother would enjoy watching the films later.

 

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Diana Dors performing at Country Cousin. Date: 09/11/1978

 

Naturally, she knew The Krays.

 

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Actress Diana Dors arriving with husband Alan Lake (right) and actor Andrew Ray (centre) at Chingford Old Church today for the funeral service of Mrs Violet Kray, mother of the Kray twins, two of London’s most notorious gangsters. The twins, Ronnie & Reggie, were brought from prisons where they are serving life sentences for murder for the funeral. Date: 11/08/1982

 

We’ve nothing to add about Maxwell’s trial, other than that he maintains his innocence.

The man who made a fortune with selling kiss ‘n’ tells about the great and good to the newspapers may take some of the stories he knows to his grave.

 

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Wiping away a tear (l) is comedian Freddie Starr and his wife Sandy at the requiem mass of actor Alan Lake at the Sacred Heart Catholic Church in Sunningdale. Picture behind Freddie Starr is Max Clifford. Date: 17/10/1984

 

Adam Curtis has a nice aside about how Dors was tabloid gold:

The News of the World was in trouble – it’s circulation was falling. Part of the problem was television, but also its tradition of titillating court reports – randy vicars caught with their trousers down – was feeling tired and out of date. So early in 1960 Sir William Emsley Carr, the alcoholic proprietor of the News of the World appointed a new editor called Stafford Somerfield.

staffords
On his first day as editor, Somerfield called his staff together and – as he described it – “pushed the boat out”.

“What the hell are we going to do about the circulation? It’s going down the drain. We want a series of articles that will make their hair curl.”

In a brilliant book about the British Press, the writer Roy Greenslade describes what Somerfield introduced – “two new forms of provocative content: kiss-and-tell memoirs and saucy investigations”

And right away he found the perfect combination of these in Diana Dors.

Somerfield persuaded her to tell the intimate secrets of her life in a series of articles for the News of the World. He had been fascinated by the Yeardye – Hamilton guns and sex drama and was convinced there was far more to be mined from her life. To get the story he paid Diana Dors £35,000 which was an extraordinary amount for that time.

But he got what he wanted. He sat Dors down with a journalist who recorded everything – and then, as Dors later plaintively complained, took “all the mucky bits” and wrote the story of a scandalous, violent and seedy life.

Ends.

 

Posted: 27th, March 2014 | In: Celebrities, Flashback, Key Posts, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Darrin Factor: 6 Upsetting TV Character Replacements

10103896 The Darrin Factor: 6 Upsetting TV Character Replacements

 

IT shouldn’t be a big deal when a familiar actor or actress is abruptly replaced on a TV show. Yet audiences are often unable to cope.  I suppose it’s due to the fact that a subconscious connection is often developed between audience and actors.  When, suddenly, an interloper appears in his or her place, all hell breaks loose.

The textbook example is Darrin from Bewitched: when Dick York was replaced by Dick Sargent audiences were left confused and disoriented.  What happened to Samantha’s husband?  Did she remarry, or did she magically transform his physical appearance?  What in the name of all that is holy is going on?!?

The problem is compounded when the original character was particularly beloved.  Audiences got used to the “New Darrin”, but sometimes the shoes are just too hard to fill.  Here are a few examples of when replacements had a particularly tough time filling in.  Television audiences are an unforgiving lot.

 

 

THREE’S COMPANY

Jenilee Harrison (as Cyndi Snow) replaces Suzanne Somers (as Chrissy Snow)

 

500full The Darrin Factor: 6 Upsetting TV Character Replacements
Somers, in a mad grab for cash, demanded more money and the network execs dropped her like a bad habit.  The very nature of the show demanded that there be a third roommate.  Enter Jenilee Harrison, a Los Angeles Rams cheerleader with no acting experience.  Not surprisingly, it was nothing short of an abject failure.  The following season, Jenilee was let go, and Priscilla Barnes (as Terri Alden) took over for the final seasons (1981-1984). Priscilla succeeded where Jenilee could not primarily because she didn’t play a similarly imbecilic character, but had a good head on her shoulders.  However, nothing ever captured the magic of Suzanne Somers – “jiggle TV” at its finest.

 

 

 THE AVENGERS

Linda Thorson (as Tara King) replaces Diana Rigg (as Emma Peel)

 

7 22 2009 9 56 13 PM The Darrin Factor: 6 Upsetting TV Character Replacements
In season six of The Avengers, Linda Thorson replaced Diana Rigg (a replacement herself). It would prove to be the show’s last season. American audiences didn’t seem to care, and French audiences actually preferred the replacement; however, British viewers would have no part of the change.  Linda was roundly thrashed by the press as being a poor substitute – all looks and no brains, a damsel in distress rather than a strong heroine.

Some of the criticism was well-founded – Linda was very inexperienced as an actress and she got the part because she was the girlfriend of then-producer John Bryce.  However, I think it’s clear the criticism was pretty unfair.  Linda did a respectable job, and the show was already slipping before her arrival.  I’m not sure who could’ve replaced Rigg and saved it. The show failed because it became dependent on US audiences, and it was lined up against Laugh-In (a show which also killed Star Trek).

Finally, it should be noted that Season 6 was actually an IMPROVEMENT over the previous season. Few will argue that Rigg’s last season was lame – it was becoming a spoof like Batman. In the final season, things started to get back to being serious.

 

 

CHARLIE’S ANGLES

Cheryl Ladd (as Kris Munroe) replaces Farrah Fawcett (as Jill Munroe)

 

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It’s hard to comprehend what a phenomenon Farrah had become after her single season on Charlie’s Angles.  Her shoes were impossible to fill, and it’s a testament to the likeability of Cheryl Ladd that the show survived.  Far from being mortally wounded, the show strolled along for four more seasons…. but it just wasn’t the same.  Even though Farrah was only there for the first season, when you think of Charlie’s Angels, you think of the Farrah year.

Certainly, there were other shows which lost a star but kept on truckin’:  Welcome Back, Kotter lost Vinnie Barbarino (John Travolta), Alice lost Flo (Polly Holliday), M*A*S*H lost Trapper John (Wayne Rogers) and Lt. Colonel Henry Blake (McLean Stephenson), etc.   However, those were shows that lost actors and actresses.  Charlie’s Angels was a show that lost an icon.

 

 

CHICO AND THE MAN

Gabriel Melgar (as Raul) replaces Freddie Prinze (as Chico Rodriguez)

 

freddie prinze chico and the man The Darrin Factor: 6 Upsetting TV Character Replacements
I will go on record and say that Freddie Prinze is among the top five stand-up comedians of all time.  You’re certainly free to disagree, but there was just something truly special about his presence on stage.  None of the jaded, cynical, self-deprecating stuff we come to expect from today’s comics.  His was pure optimism and energy… which makes his 1977 suicide all the more unfathomable.

One thing I think we can all agree on is that Chico & the Man should have ended with Prinze’s death.  The very notion that they would try and keep the sitcom rolling blows the mind.  Poor Gabriel Melgar, recruited to fill the void, simply never had a chance.  It was an awful idea that ended with predictable results – abysmal ratings and cancellation.

 

 

THE DUKES OF HAZZARD

Byron Cherry and Christopher Mayer (as Coy and Vance) temporarily replace Tom Wopat and John Schneider (as Bo and Luke Duke)

 

dukes 1024x768 The Darrin Factor: 6 Upsetting TV Character Replacements
Dukes of Hazzard audiences tuned in to the new 1982 season only to find their beloved Bo and Luke Duke replaced by obvious clones.  Schneider and Wopat had refused to come to the set, demanding more money.  In response, the network replaced them with two guys that looked suspiciously similar.  Audiences didn’t fall for the ploy, and so Schneider and Wopat got the contracts they wanted and returned.

In the end, the series wasn’t significantly impacted by this bizarre interlude.   However, when it was all over, viewers were left scratching their head, wondering what the hell just happened.

Posted: 27th, March 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


13 Off Kilter Songs About Drugs You Missed

PA 11731143 1 13 Off Kilter Songs About Drugs You Missed

 

SURPRISINGLY, Damon Albarn used to be a smackhead. You’d never have guessed would you? More than that, he said that heroin “completely changed” him as a musician and he’s written about being on the brown in a new song on his ‘Everyday Robots’ LP.

“In those… lines I said everything about it that I wanted to. You know, ‘My ship across…’ it has some poetry to it. I’m happy I found that poetry. I can move forward not without all the nudge nudge, wink wink innuendo I’ve had in the background for years. It was a long time ago,” he said.

He’s now off the smack though, which is a relief.

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Posted: 26th, March 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Social Media Morons Of The Day: Ribena For Breakfast

WHAT the Mad Men of advertising’s Golden Age would have made of today social media experts can only be guessed at. And our guess is they’d have made them unemployed. Anyone with a spark of creativity louder than a gnat’s fart would nowadays be hailed as social media guru.

Today’s disaster is supplied by Ribena, the sugary drink.

 

ribena fail1 Social Media Morons Of The Day: Ribena For Breakfast

 

The Tweet copy trills:

“There’s no better way to start the day than sitting down to watch #DayBreak with a cuppa for you and a glass of Ribena Plus for the kids!”

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Posted: 26th, March 2014 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Bands Without a Face: When 70s Rock Stars Went Behind the Curtain

supertramp  Bands Without a Face: When 70s Rock Stars Went Behind the Curtain

 

ANY clue who these guys are? They’re the band Supertramp.  If you didn’t know, it’s either because  you are way too young to appreciate this article or it’s due to the fact that  almost all Seventies rock acts looked relatively similar – like a generic group of hairy drug addicts.

Plus, it became “a thing” for Seventies rockers to shun the spotlight.  Whereas, for most of the 1960s it was just a given that your album cover would feature a photograph of the band, in the 1970s, something changed…

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Posted: 26th, March 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Bread and Circuses at the Movies: The Six Most Savage Games of the Near Dystopian Future

games6 300x166 Bread and Circuses at the Movies: The Six Most Savage Games of the Near Dystopian Future

 

IN Ancient Rome, the poet Juvenal coined the term “bread and circuses” (panem et circenses), and to his credit, it is one that remains pertinent to this day, especially in our  21st century pop culture and entertainment.

Specifically, the idea of “bread and circuses” involves an artificial means by which the government or ruling class of a nation distracts or appeases “the common man.”  In Rome, for example gladiatorial games in the Colosseum fit the bill, distracting and diverting people from significant issues such as poverty, war, and corruption.

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Posted: 25th, March 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Hello News: The Story Of The Most Popular Song In America

IN 1989, the City of Calgary, Canada, promoted the place with a song. It featured the joyous lyrics:

 

There’a feeling in the air that you can’t get anywhere expect….

Makes no difference where I go, you’re the best hometown I know.

 

 

Other Canadian cities realised they needed a theme song.

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Posted: 25th, March 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


10 Fantastically Awful Retro Toys From Your Corrupted Youth

AS things heat up in Ukraine and the ever-precarious Middle East continues its pattern of unrest, we feel a tinge of concern for our Western economies hanging by a thread and our natural resources plundered at an unsustainable rate.  In such a state of affairs it is only natural that we, as a global community, band together and take a look at some truly awful toys.  It’s the right thing to do.

 

terrible toys 3 10 Fantastically Awful Retro Toys From Your Corrupted Youth
“Luscious Limbs” is more than a little bit macabre.  Sissy’s fiendish delight at gnawing on a human ear is particularly distressing.

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Posted: 25th, March 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Read Robert Crumb’s Weirdo Comic Book On Philip K Dick’s LSD-Driven Meeting With God

WE get to see the face of God in Robert Crumb’s Book Of Genesis. But was the representation of the Creator accurate? In 1974, Crumb gave us another image of God, one based on Philip K. Dick’s memory.
PhilipDick Read Robert Crumbs Weirdo Comic Book On Philip K Dicks LSD Driven Meeting With God

 

 

Dick’s Divine vision was triggered by seeing a delivery girl,who was wearing a Jesus fish on a chain about her neck. Dick had taken LSD:

In that instant, as I stared at the gleaming fish sign and heard her words, I suddenly experienced what I later learned is called anamnesis—a Greek word meaning, literally, “loss of forgetfulness.” I remembered who I was and where I was. In an instant, in the twinkling of an eye, it all came back to me. And not only could I remember it but I could see it. The girl was a secret Christian and so was I. We lived in fear of detection by the Romans. We had to communicate with cryptic signs. She had just told me all this, and it was true.

For a short time, as hard as this is to believe or explain, I saw fading into view the black, prisonlike contours of hateful Rome. But, of much more importance, I remembered Jesus, who had just recently been with us, and had gone temporarily away, and would very soon return. My emotion was one of joy. We were secretly preparing to welcome Him back. It would not be long. And the Romans did not know. They thought He was dead, forever dead. That was our great secret, our joyous knowledge. Despite all appearances, Christ was going to return, and our delight and anticipation were boundless.

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Posted: 23rd, March 2014 | In: Books, Flashback, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Fred Phelps’ Dying Words: ‘I Do It With Boys’ And Other Magic Moments In The Westboro Baptist Church

PA 19349307 Fred Phelps Dying Words: I Do It With Boys And Other Magic Moments In The Westboro Baptist Church

 

FRED Phelps, the man whose catchphrase was “god hates fags” and whose media-savvy Westboro Baptist Church of Kansas commandeered the dead and famous for their own self-promotion, is dead.

Across the Church’s website and its “sisters sites” – GodHatesIslam.com, GodHatesTheMedia.com, GodHatesTheWorld.com, JewsKilledJesus.com, BeastObama.com and PriestsRapeBoys.com, tributes are flowing.

It can’t be too long before a couple meet on WestboroMingle.com and name their first son Fred Phelps. And, yes, the WBC dating Petri Dish exists:

 

 

On the WBC website, beneath the title “Your Dashed Hopes”, we are invited the lament the 84-year-old’s passing:

The world-wide media has been in a frenzy during the last few days, gleefully anticipating the death of Fred Waldron Phelps Sr. It has been an unprecedented, hypocritical, vitriolic explosion of words…

It’s like every journalist in the world simultaneously set aside what little journalistic integrity they have, so that they could wait breathlessly for a rumor to publish: in-fighting, succession plans, and power struggles, oh my! How shameful! You’re like a bunch of little girls on the playground waiting for some gossip!

And then as God shows Phelps the final message on the last placard, the WBC issues a statement:

“This is a very difficult time for us, so we ask that the public have a little decency and respect by allowing us to mourn a great man who served God and tried to protect America from the threat of fags and perverts (i.e. gays and U.S. soldiers).”

As Peter Kaufman‏ puts it:

The Westboro Baptist Church has upped the definition of chutzpah, for all eternity.

It is, of course, the last desperate stunt of a dead man. Without Phelps, the Church is rudderless.

What we really want to see are not millions of people protesting the death of a traveling sideshow, but the great man’s death bed confession “I like doin’ it with guys” become his lasting epitaph.

Anyone offended by Phelps’ ravings is thinking too much. He was ridiculous. His purpose was to give us something to lampoon. As Brick Stone asked one of the church’s members:

“Have you ever wondered how good gay sex must be if people are willing to go to Hell for it?”

 

 

Lauren Drain, 27, a former member of the Westboro Baptist Church who wrote Banished: Surviving My Years in the Westboro Baptist Church Fred Phelps Dying Words: I Do It With Boys And Other Magic Moments In The Westboro Baptist Church, discussed with The Advocate why Fred hated gays so very much.

I never understood why, when [the media asked him], “Why are you so against the homosexuals? Did you have a homosexual experience? Do you have homosexual tendencies?” And he would get so mad, he would shut down. And he’d be like, “I can’t talk to this person anymore, they’re stupid.” His reaction to that was stronger than any other question you can ask him. So I always wondered that — why does he get so mad? If I’m not gay, I’ll just say I’m not gay. And I’m not going to freak out, like, “Why are you calling me gay?” I always thought that was super strange. … I don’t know what happened there, so [speculation] is all that I can leave it at. But something happened, and something made him change his mind about the military, and in turn have kind of a crusade against sexual immorality and homosexuals.

Many of us will miss Fred Phelps, the ludicrous lunk. He was just about the most recognisable Christian bigot out there.

So. Let’s not picket his funeral. Let’s not sell that story of the time with Fred(a) at Chariots Sauna and Plunge Pools. Let’s enjoy what the man gave us: laughs.

 

phelps Fred Phelps Dying Words: I Do It With Boys And Other Magic Moments In The Westboro Baptist Church

 

 

 

Posted: 22nd, March 2014 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: Black Euclides Monteiro Is A Brown Moroccan And Other Facts

MADELEINE McCann: Anorak’s look the missing child in the news. In 2009, Cape Verdean national Euclides Monteiro, 40, died in a tractor accident. His name has been linked the missing child. There is no evidence in the media that he stole the child.

The Guardian notes:

A suspect in the Madeleine McCann case who may have sexually assaulted five British girls in the Algarve up to 10 years ago died in 2009…

We’re noted that the dead black immigrant cannot be easily questioned.

The source also said there had been another so far unpublicised incident in which another British girl on holiday with her parents was sexually abused, although he did not go into when this came to light nor where or when it took place.

Any more facts?

The revelations came the day after the Metropolitan police in Britain appealed for information on a total of 12 incidents in which an intruder entered holiday accommodation in three resort areas including one where Madeleine, then three, went missing in May 2007. Four of these cases, between 2004 and 2006, involved assaults on girls aged seven to 10 and one involved two children, according to Scotland Yard, although police in both countries have looked at incidents up to 2010, three years after Madeleine vanished.

The Guardian’s source was careful to say the police had come to “no definitive conclusions” about Euclides Monteiro

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Posted: 22nd, March 2014 | In: Key Posts, Madeleine McCann, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Board Game Genocide: Nazi Family Fun With Juden Raus! Das Neue Gesellschafts-Spiel

Screen shot 2014 03 21 at 18.48.55 Board Game Genocide: Nazi Family Fun With Juden Raus! Das Neue Gesellschafts Spiel

 

IN 1936, German toy maker Günther & Co. released the board game “Juden Raus! Das Neue Gesellschafts-Spiel” (“Out with the Jews! The Game of the New Society”).

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Posted: 21st, March 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Miracle of Soap And The Scourge of Constipation: Vintage Hygiene Adverts

ONE thing you’ll find when looking through magazines from the 1930s and 40s is an amazing array of soap and constipation adverts.  It’s as if the world was ravaged by body odor and irregularity. Ad after ad proclaims the wonders of this fantastical object called “soap” – lives are changed by its tremendous power to rid even the smelliest among us of their funk.  But that was only half the battle, because mankind still cowered helplessly beneath the specter of constipation.  Countless adverts announce their special cure for this dread disease.

 

 

THE MIRACLE OF SOAP

 

lifebuoy 1937 The Miracle of Soap And The Scourge of Constipation: Vintage Hygiene Adverts

Lifebuoy Soap 1937

 

This bride literally would have died a miserable old maid had it not been for Lifebuoy soap.  Evidently, her fiancé was so disgusted by her rank smell he was about to call off the wedding – until her friend introduced her to the World of Soap.   A close call – but it does make one wonder what other basic hygiene tools our young bride has yet to discover.

 

Lifebuoy1947 part 1 The Miracle of Soap And The Scourge of Constipation: Vintage Hygiene Adverts

 

“Sure he picked a beautiful bride…. but oh, that ‘B.O.’!”

This advert is from ten years later (1947) – The War is over, Western Nation economies are on the rise, and all is right with the world… but the women still smell horrible.  Let’s take this ad step by step: Here we have a newly married couple who are attending a party.  Unfortunately, the young bride is shaming her husband by her amazing level of body odor.

 

Lifebuoy1947 part 2 The Miracle of Soap And The Scourge of Constipation: Vintage Hygiene Adverts

 

“Oh, darling, I’ve failed you!”

Yes, honey, you may as well purchase a one-way bus ticket out of town.  Ted will explain that you “had an accident”.  Indeed, with the neighbors whispering about your incredible funk, your job as wife is an abject failure….. but wait, what’s this?  It seems Ted just happens to have in his possession a bar of soap.

 

Lifebuoy1947 part 3 The Miracle of Soap And The Scourge of Constipation: Vintage Hygiene Adverts

 

And, of course, the miracle of soap once again saves a marriage, and possibly a life…. but not before we get to see Ted’s wife naked.

 

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“You know how men are, Gail! They like to be proud of their sweethearts and wives! Besides, you must admit there’s not much allure in dry, lifeless, old-looking skin!”

As usual, soap is sold to guard against shaming the godlike husbands.  In this case, the woman’s repugnant smell isn’t the issue, it’s her disgusting skin.  Back then, that was grounds for a husband to literally put his wife out to pasture.

 

RBBBCM1937p68 The Miracle of Soap And The Scourge of Constipation: Vintage Hygiene Adverts

 

Yet another woman spared eternal shame because she hasn’t been exposed to the wonders of soap.  You’ll note it has an endorsement from film noir dame “Joan Bennett, Walter Wanger Star”.  Wanger was a film producer and Bennett’s third husband.  He ended up causing quite a scandal when he shot Bennett’s agent (he suspected they were having an affair).  Bennett went on to star in Dark Shadows and Suspiria (1977).   But I digress…

 

 

THE SCOURGE OF CONSTIPATION

 

Successful Living Nov Dec 1942 page 050 The Miracle of Soap And The Scourge of Constipation: Vintage Hygiene Adverts

 

“Actual cases on record of constipation relieved” – and all it requires is for you to garrote yourself in the most foolish way possible.  Personally, I’d choose bran flakes cereal over this spectacle of degradation… but that’s just me.

 

Successful Living Nov Dec 1942 page 043 The Miracle of Soap And The Scourge of Constipation: Vintage Hygiene Adverts

 

I know constipation is a bummer – God knows it can put a damper on a day.  That being said, if your constipation is causing the sort of misery where life isn’t worth living, you’ve got a very special constipation indeed.  I don’t know what HOOD-LAX is, but it sounds potent.  Might I suggest some late night Mexican food and a frothy pint of HOOD-LAX and make life worth living!

 

030 Depressed to Jovial in 2 Hours The Miracle of Soap And The Scourge of Constipation: Vintage Hygiene Adverts

 

From devastated to cheerfully building a wall within two hours – that’s pretty damn impressive.  I understand it’s not exactly fun to wake up constipated, but she seems clinically depressed  – “the world’s all wrong” she exclaims.  I wonder if that Sal Hepatica not only helps loosen the stool, but also has a little “happy sauce” in the ingredients as well.  Either that or this chick is bi-polar.

 

les The Miracle of Soap And The Scourge of Constipation: Vintage Hygiene Adverts

 

Are you noticing a pattern here with the constipation symptoms?   It’s not annoyance at abdominal pain, it’s depression.  Clearly, there was something else going on here in women that was erroneously being blamed on constipation.  Any armchair sociologists out there who’d like to posit a theory?  I’d love to hear it.

Posted: 21st, March 2014 | In: Key Posts, The Consumer | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


We Used to Be Friends: Five Reasons Why the Veronica Mars Movie is Much More than “Fan Service”

vm1 300x169 We Used to Be Friends: Five Reasons Why the Veronica Mars Movie is Much More than Fan Service

 

HERE’S a challenge for the intrepid researcher: Go to Google and search for five or so reviews of the Veronica Mars (2014) movie from the mainstream press that don’t include the following term: “fan service.”

For the uninitiated in such things, fan service is a descriptor widely understood to mean the act of “giving the fans exactly what they want,” and for some reason, it is being applied to Veronica Mars on a remarkably consistent, nay universal basis.

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Posted: 20th, March 2014 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Aberdeen FC And The Human League Present The 11 Greatest Footballer Chants (Volume 1)

PA 19317093 Aberdeen FC And The Human League Present The 11 Greatest Footballer Chants (Volume 1)

 

 

UNEXPECTEDLY to most, the Human League’s ‘Don’t You Want Me?’ went top ten midweek. No-one really knew why, especially die-in-the-wool Human League fans. Everyone was pleased all the same.

However, what had happened was Aberdeen FC fans (with excellent taste it has to be said) had been buying the song in droves after they rejigged the famous chorus into “Peter Pawlett baby!”

So with that, let us look at Aberdeen fans being brilliant and some of the other magnificent football fan reworkings of famous pop songs. Some of them might even be better than the originals!

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Posted: 20th, March 2014 | In: Key Posts, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Michael McIntyre Is Faker Than A £5 Rolex

PA 13074038 1 Michael McIntyre Is Faker Than A £5 Rolex

 

MICHAEL McIntyre has millions of fans. I’m just not friends with or related to any of them. I don’t think I’ve ever met one. Michael McIntyre is the Tony Blair of standup – charismatic enough to get millions of people to back him but embarrassing enough that they’ll all deny it. I don’t dislike McIntyre because he’s mainstream. There are loads of comics who walked the middle of the road who were wonderful. There’s nothing wrong with acts that can play to massive BBC One audiences. Look at Billy Connolly or Jasper Carrot in their prime, Dave Allen at his most palatable or even Bob Monkhouse, for all his joke lifting tendencies.

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Posted: 20th, March 2014 | In: Key Posts, TV & Radio | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Who Killed Disco? 7 Suspects Revealed

tumblr mopo08pWAv1sq99qeo1 1280 Who Killed Disco? 7 Suspects Revealed

 

IT’S actually amazing when you stop and think about it.   A counter-culture movement originating in homosexual night clubs  somehow wound up overtaking every nook and cranny of the pop culture landscape.  From Hollywood to the fashion industry to ridiculous albums like the one pictured above – nothing was safe from the marauding cash cow called Disco.

So, why did it die a horrible death in the early 1980s?

There were plenty factors at work, such as a very real homophobic backlash. But that is an issue best reserved for a more serious discussion.  Instead, let’s focus on 7 other primary suspects all wanted for “discocide”.

 

 

1. OVER-SATURATION

 

israelidisco1 Who Killed Disco? 7 Suspects Revealed

 

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Posted: 20th, March 2014 | In: Flashback, Key Posts, Music | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pat Robertson’s Fever Dream: Four Times When Horror Movies Met The Devil’s Own Rock-and-Roll Music In The 1980s

PA 14502104 Pat Robertsons Fever Dream: Four Times When Horror Movies Met The Devils Own Rock and Roll Music In The 1980s

 

JUST last week, the 700 Club’s Pat Robertson spoke out about the hidden scourge of our modern society: those demons from Hell who like to crash your car.

Yes, it turns out that devils can cause really horrible road accidents because — by merely watching horror movies — you have “granted them permission” to do so.

You know who you are…

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Posted: 19th, March 2014 | In: Film, Flashback, Key Posts | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Growing Old Gracefully or Kicking and Screaming: Old Vs. New Hollywood

WATCHING the Oscars and other such events lately, it’s becoming disturbingly common to spot actresses, now in their sixties, desperately hanging onto their youth.  It seems overnight, all my favourite actresses from the 1970s and 80s have gone under the knife in a vain attempt at retaining their former sex appeal.  It’s something we haven’t witnessed before – actresses from earlier days didn’t have plastic surgery at their disposal, and the intense need to “stay sexy” wasn’t perhaps as strong.  Thus, the previous generation of starlets appeared to age much more gracefully than the ageing actresses of today.  Here’s a few comparisons….

 

hawn loy age 26 Growing Old Gracefully or Kicking and Screaming: Old Vs. New Hollywood

 

Here is Myrna Loy and Goldie Hawn, both age 26.  They’re much alike in that they epitomized the sex symbol look of their time.  However, as the years wore on, they showed their age very differently….

 

Airport 1975 2 Growing Old Gracefully or Kicking and Screaming: Old Vs. New Hollywood

 

Here they are again, both approximately the same age: Myrna age 69 and Goldie age 68.  Myrna looks like an elderly woman (which you officially are at age 69); whereas, Goldie looks like someone desperately clinging to a youth long gone.  Seeing the aged Myrna and Goldie side-by-side is truly shocking.  One woman accepts the fact that no one can escape the passage of time, and the other is in complete denial.

 

 

PA 8643301 Growing Old Gracefully or Kicking and Screaming: Old Vs. New Hollywood

 

Katharine Hepburn age 32 and Cher age 20.  Both actresses were stunning in their younger days, and Cher was able to reap the rewards of a seemingly ageless figure in the decades to come.  However, you can only hold onto your sexy appeal for so long.

 

hepburn cavatt wide dbbe7e83b0fd121d99e84e606e8d7d8badcf2369 s6 c30 Growing Old Gracefully or Kicking and Screaming: Old Vs. New Hollywood

 

Here are Hepburn and Cher both aged 67.  Hepburn has gracefully accepted the passage of time, wearing pants and putting her hair in a bun.  But this doesn’t mean she had to act old; indeed, Hepburn was a vibrant as ever in 1973.  The difference is that Hepburn is no longer trying to look sexy; whereas, Cher is still sporting the micro-miniskirt.  Plus, Cher has had her wrinkles surgically wiped away.

 

1975 Growing Old Gracefully or Kicking and Screaming: Old Vs. New Hollywood

 

Here is Hepburn age 68 and Cher age 67. Hepburn wasn’t afraid to play roles befitting her age – this picture is from Rooster Cogburn, where she wisely makes no attempt to cling to her former youthful allure.  Instead, she bangs out a terrific performance alongside The Duke, wrinkles be damned.  Her age may be showing, but it by no means subtracts from her onscreen charisma.

In stark contrast, Cher still plays to crowds wearing outfits borrowed from Brittney Spears’ 1998 wardrobe.

 

PA 18756835 Growing Old Gracefully or Kicking and Screaming: Old Vs. New Hollywood

 

Lauren Bacall and Meg Ryan both age 55.  Bacall still retained her confident panache, but thankfully retired the attempt at sex appeal.  Meg Ryan, on the other hand, still wears the same haircut she wore in Sleepless in Seattle.  Even worse, in her futile quest for eternal youth, she has turned her face into an unnatural mask.

 

age 29 Growing Old Gracefully or Kicking and Screaming: Old Vs. New Hollywood

 

Ava Gardner age 29 with her man, Sinatra, and Melanie Griffith, age 31, with her guy, Don Johnson.  It’s probably unfair to compare Ava to Melanie, but both were knockouts. Yet, only one opted to age gracefully.  Can you guess which?

 

melanie and ava Growing Old Gracefully or Kicking and Screaming: Old Vs. New Hollywood

 

Ava age 52 and Melanie age 55.

Melanie’s plastic surgery disasters have been much in the tabloids.  As awful as they were, it’s wrong to keep pointing fingers and mocking.  Instead, maybe someone should ask why these aging actresses feel the need to go under the knife time and again.   There’s obviously something wrong here.

We shouldn’t give old Hollywood a pass either.  Many of these old Hollywood actresses didn’t age gracefully – once their youthful sex appeal was gone, many couldn’t find work and receded into obscurity.  Take for instance, Kim Novak, popular during the 50s and early 60s.  She shocked many at the Oscars with her new “look”.

 

PA 8630403 Growing Old Gracefully or Kicking and Screaming: Old Vs. New Hollywood

 

In the images above, Novak is 33 on the left and 81 on the right.  EIGHTY-ONE-FREAKING YEARS OLD!  Hollywood prides itself as being a liberal bastion, but there’s obviously a very old code still in effect that hasn’t aged one bit.

Posted: 19th, March 2014 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Three Generations Of Schulz Unite To Create A Peanuts Movie As Disappointing As All The Others


SNOOPY is back. The best cartoon do of them all is to star in a new Peanuts movie, coming to a screen near you on November 6, 2015.

That’s the good news?

Do you flinch a little when you learn that it’s produced by Charles Schulz’s son Craig Schulz and the screenplay has been co-written by his son Bryan Schulz?

 

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Posted: 18th, March 2014 | In: Film, Key Posts | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Read Alfie’s Home: The Creepy Children’s Book That Will Make Your Gay Children Straight

DR Christian Jessen is the star of the Channel 4 documentary Undercover Doctor: Cure Me, I’m Gay.

Can you be “cured” of your homosexuality? Some want to change. They sign up to schemes to become healthy and straight and good.

He tells viewers:

“Reparative’ techniques used across the world, primarily by some extreme right-wing organisations, have included electric shock therapy, exorcism, hypnosis, and even sessions with prostitutes.”

Because this is Channel 4, the main premise of the show will be to portray the curing community as freaks and nutjobs. But you needn’t tune in to know that, although the penile plethysmograph to measure Jessen’s post-cure arousal is an interesting reworking of TV clap-ometer.

 

gays Read Alfie’s Home: The Creepy Childrens Book That Will Make Your Gay Children Straight

The Cohens

 

You see all Channel 4 need do is show viewers pages from Richard Cohen’s Coming Out Straight, Gay Children Straight Parents, Let’s Talk About Sex, and Alfie’s Home, published in 1993 by Cohen’s International Healing Foundation (IHF).

The IHF website states:

Our goal…
Our goal is to promote healthy individuals and relationships, while assisting in the healing of families, communities, and places of worship.

In this film, Cohen, an ex-gay who is now married with 3 children and president of PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays), is seen playing with magnets. He says opposites attract, like magnets. Same things repel, like magnets. D’ yer see the point he’s making? Richard does.

 

 

This is book for children:

 

gay book Read Alfie’s Home: The Creepy Childrens Book That Will Make Your Gay Children Straight

 

gay book 1 Read Alfie’s Home: The Creepy Childrens Book That Will Make Your Gay Children Straight

 

gay book 2 Read Alfie’s Home: The Creepy Childrens Book That Will Make Your Gay Children Straight

 

gay book 3 Read Alfie’s Home: The Creepy Childrens Book That Will Make Your Gay Children Straight

 

gay book 4 Read Alfie’s Home: The Creepy Childrens Book That Will Make Your Gay Children Straight

 

It’s all batshit mental. And it’s being  promoted in Uganda:

 

 

Spotter: Patheos, Right Wing Watch

 

 

Posted: 18th, March 2014 | In: Books, Key Posts, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0