Fungus And The Bogeyman

‘FORGET the fact that truffles have been salivated on by a thick-wristed continental farmer’s trained pig and taste like mud, and just know that they are expensive.

Pick us a winner

Being costly makes them something to hanker after. Few of us have or will ever eat a truffle sandwich or sprinkle some of the tuber magnatum on our kebab - but many want to.

So when an 850g (1lb 14oz) lump of pig snot-coated mushroom was dug up in Italy, those with a well-schooled nose for such a delicacy went mad.

The Independent says that regulars at London’s Zafferano Italian eatery formed a group – said to have included Gwyneth Paltrow and Roman Abramovich – to pay the £28,000 needed to bring the object to their table.

They won the day, and the “food of kings” (isn’t that race horse meat?) was put on show before it would be devoured at £600 per micro-slice.

Head chef Andy Needham was planning recipes for it – truffle with pig snot; truffle and mud pie; truffle and pig snot encased in mud pie - while people from the furthest flung corners of Belgravia and Mayfair came to smell it, touch it and say “I was there”.

Needham then locked the truffle in a fridge for safe keeping. He put the key in his pocket. He left.

Four days later, Needham returned from his trip. He took out his prize and noted that it had gone off.

Crestfallen, chef and his team took the gigantic white turd-like inedible away to be buried in an ignominious grave in a London garden.

And there it will remain – until some pig with a runny nose happens along…’

Posted: 9th, December 2004 | In: Uncategorized Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink