Taxi For Piers Morgan: Washing Jonathan Ross’s Dirty Letters In Private

UPDATED: Piers Morgan’s Diaries on BBC Director General’s pal Jonathan Ross and those lust letters:

We’ve been offered the TV star Jonathan Ross’s laptop computer for £20,000. When we asked the guy trying to flog it why on earth he thought it was worth so much, he leered and said, “Because there’s so much filfth on it.”

Sch-wing!

We had a look to see what he was on about and sure enough there was an extraordinary 2,000 word missive from Jonathan to his wife Jane which could best be described as “graphic”…There were also all his contact numbers, scripts for new shows and business accounts. But Jonathan’s a kind of mate, and I want to hire him as our new movie critic.

So it was his lucky day that this guy came to us - claiming implausibly to have “found the laptop in a taxi”. We persuaded the seller to part company with the computer for £3,000, then handed it back to a rather relieved Jonathan on condition that he confirms to our readers that he sends his wife disgusting “love byte” letters, which he has done… Not sure I’ll ever be able to look him in quite the same way though. I wonder if he knows a load of my staff have read the letter? Probably. He’s quite media savvy.

CLIVE Davis writes on how Piers Morgan’s attack on Jonathon Ross is hypocritic bilge:

I’m all in favour of ritually disembowelling Jonathan Ross - the most over-rated, unfunniest egomaniac ever to grace our screens - but the idea of the wretched ex-friend Piers Morgan lining up as one of the executioners is just bizarre.

(Image: Beau Bo D’Or Website)

Morgan. Standards…

After all, the ex-Mirror editor has more than done his bit to drag media standards into the gutter. If you don’t believe me, check the section in his diaries where he describes how some dubious character came forward with Ross’s laptop after “finding” it in a taxi. Instead of handing it back to his pal, Morgan and his team rifled through its contents, uncovering a raunchy letter that Ross had written to his, Ross’s, wife. Morgan then used the epistle to pressurize Mr Charm into writing a knockabout piece for the Mirror.

And…

And now he takes to the pulpit of the Daily Mail. Perfect.

While Brand and Ross take their punishiment - and will the damn good thrashing be broadcast? - Anorak spots another Morgan gem:

I recorded a voiceover for my first-ever TV commercial this morning, to promote a new food range for Marks & Spencer. (I wasn’t going to do it until I heard that David Jason was doing one, too – so I can now say on my CV that I’ve ‘worked with David Jason on primetime TV’)…

Today wasn’t too painful – my only complaint was that M&S made me verbally compare the size of the big, juicy steak I was waxing lyrical about to my own ‘chubby thumb.’ I was so insulted – my thumb’s a lot thicker - Daily Mail

Separate data from market research firm TNS this week found that over the summer sales of fresh meat at Marks & Spencer dropped by a dramatic 28 per cent compared to the year before - Daily Telegraph

Thought something ponged a bit…

Anorak

Posted: 30th, October 2008 | In: Media | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

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David Says:
October 30th, 2008 at 8:09 pm

Well I just read that the beeb is suspending Ross for 3 months without pay.
Maybe loosing money will wipe the smarmy smile off his face (maybe not)
I only saw him once on TV while visiting my family in London, he seemed like a genuine pillock.
And Brand? Well he’s just an embarrassment.

sam Says:
October 30th, 2008 at 8:14 pm

yes agree totally, but just what am i going to watch tommorrow night then ? hmm.

BlackBob Says:
October 30th, 2008 at 9:33 pm

IT MUST BE A SOFT SOUTHERNER THING, COZ I JUST DON’T GET THE JONATHAN ROSS THING! AS THE GREAT B. MANNING WOULD HAVE SAID, “HE’S AS FUNNY AS A FIRE IN AN ORPHANAGE”!
A THREE MONTH SUSPENSION IS A JOKE! SO IN 2009 WE CAN HEAR HIM AGAIN DRONING ON AND ON ABOUT HIS GENITALS, HIS WIFE’S ARSE, HIS GUEST’S TITS - HE’S A ONE TRICK PONY!
BILLY CONNOLLY STARTED OFF WITH “JOBY” THEN “SHITE” THEN “FUCK”, BUT IT’S JUST NOT FUNNY ANYMORE. SAY THE “N-WORD” IF YOU WANT TO PUSH THE BOUNDARIES ROSS, GO ON I DARE YOU - YA C##T!

Anorak Says:
October 30th, 2008 at 9:56 pm

Ross needs to leave the BBC and get his shit together

sam Says:
October 30th, 2008 at 10:15 pm

i really don’t get what’s funny about these type of phone prank things. i heard one some while ago which i thought was incredibly cruel and i don’t understand whats funny about this kind of cruelty or what is cool about prank calls.

chenier Says:
October 30th, 2008 at 10:41 pm

Yep; it’s stupid and childish, and the BBC producer who passed this should get the chop as well as Wossie.

And be forced to learn by heart Freud’s ‘Jokes and Their Relation to the Unconscious’ before they are re-employed…

sam Says:
October 30th, 2008 at 10:53 pm

well no wonaton woss tommorrow, actually i take my hat off to brand, you messed up and took the consequences, well done.

June Says:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:11 am

We might get a Dibley repeat tomorrow night, at least its comedy

sam Says:
October 31st, 2008 at 12:18 am

i like dawn french, wish she were around more.

BlackBob Says:
October 31st, 2008 at 7:01 am

DAWN FRENCH? YET ANOTHER SORRY EXCUSE FOR A COMEDIAN! WHAT HAS SHE EVER SAID THAT WAS FUNNY? AND AS FOR HER “OTHER HALF” - STREWTH!! MIDDLE ENGLANDERS WOULD LAUGH AT AN EGG BOILING AND THAT’S WHY WE HAVE CREEPS LIKE WOSSY DOIN THE ROUNDS!
A JOKE ABOUT A HIPPO WITH A GARDENING IMPLEMENT UP ITS BACKSIDE MADE ME LAUGH ONCE!

Mods and Admin

Lower case in future please , otherwise your posts shall be deleted.
Caps are fine for a word or two for emphasis, but for the whole post is considered to be shouting and is hard to read

David Says:
October 31st, 2008 at 3:07 pm

WHAT!!!!
Oh sorry…………..