War On Laughter: Terrorists Taught To Tell Jokes

IT’S an established fact that Omar Bakri is a terrific after dinner speaker, winning the MUFTA trophy three years running, most recently for a routine that saw his rhyme Al Qaeda with James Spader and an impression of Hale & Pace reciting a Monty Python sketch.

On the circuit, Bakri knocks the fundamentalists bandy.

But – alas! – Bakri is no longer among us, and though the Sun can and does pick up the hotline to Lebanon and solicit his comedic thoughts on all manner of stuff, there is no likelihood of a flesh-and beard performance.

So the hunt is on for a new star. And in “ARE YOU HAVING A LAUGH”, the Sun gives over its front page to that search.

First up is “evil” Zia Ul Haq, who is fresh out of an eight-day comedy workshop at Whitemoor jail.

It’s a tough crowd at Whitemoor. The cheap seats are full of murderers and rapists. The posh seats are nailed to the floor.

“I say, I say, I say,” says Ul Haq.

There is no response.

“Take your time,” he adlibs. “I’ve got 18 years to wait…”

Or make that three days because no sooner has the show begun than it is over. Jack Straw, the Justice Secretary, has cancelled the course.

We can’t have our Islamic nutters making jokes and being funny. We need them bearded, gunning and utterly humourless.

If anyone’s gonna do the jokes, it’ll be the Government…

Anorak

Posted: 21st, November 2008 | In: Media | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0