Kristallnacht: Panic Buying As Last Lights Go Out In Britian
WILL the last person in Britain please turn the Great British lights back on? The Mail leads the clarion call:
Revolt! Robbed of their right to buy traditional light bulbs, millions are clearing shelves of last supplies.
On it goes:
Millions of Britons are finally waking up to the fact that their beloved light bulb will disappear for good after 120 years.
The Great British light bulb has been lighting up the country since 1889, having first been ignited by late The Queen Mother. With her gone, we at least had the bulb, but now the European Union has crushed it beneath their jackboots.
A long shadow has fallen across Europe, and one that mocks the dim enviro-bulbs, that are no match for our Great British 100-watt bulb that has lighting up the planet from Botany Bay to Bridlington an age.
Cue “panic”:
Yesterday panic buyers were snapping up the remaining bulbs in a last-ditch attempt to stockpile the final supplies. Hundreds of leading supermarkets and DIY chains - including Sainsbury’s, Asda and Homebase - have already sold their last remaining bulbs after a surge in panic buying.
They should turn them on and allow we whoa re without to follow the light. At 4:36 tomorrow, Britons will switch on 100-watt bulbs and blind the enemy with a white light of right for full two minutes.
The supplies are running out after the Government signed up to an EU decision to replace conventional 100w light bulbs with supposedly greener low energy alternatives.
Which can kill you in your beds:
But experts have questioned whether or not the new bulbs, far from being environmentally friendly, are actually harmful. The low-energy fluorescent bulbs can trigger skin rashes, migraines and epilepsy. There is also concern because the fluorescent bulbs contain mercury, which makes them dangerous to get rid of.
Unless you lob them at France. Load the cannon!
“I have such a horror of energy saving bulbs that every time I go to Sainsbury’s I buy a couple of the conventional ones,” says Mrs Spottiswood, 62. My neighbour opposite has energy saving bulbs and the lights are horrible and they take ages to warm up. I also get quite depressed in the winter, particularly if the lighting is dim. I hate them.”
Worse:
“…the EU will impose a ban on sales of 100w bulbs from September. It will also ban all types of frosted glass incandescent bulbs.”
No longer will the front room be bathed in the pinkish glow of Empire. The EU is upon us. Switch on the lights. Check the shadows.
Draw the curtain…
Posted: 7th, January 2009 | In: Media Comments (19) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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January 9th, 2009 at 9:36 am
Psssst! I can put you in touch with ‘Torchy’ my underground bulb blower
January 8th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Yes we complain about the ones we do have. Especially in the bathroom and hall. Can see bugger all in the mirrors. Good for me but daughter complains re:make up/hair.
They’re all sort of yellow and foggy. Bad for eyesight I reckon, what will I do if my electricity guzzling 8 office spotlights have to go?
January 8th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
We’ve got them in the family home and we hate them - they’re crap. We sit around moaning about not being able to see and how miserable we are - which cheers us up a bit.
January 8th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
what happens when they blow? do they explode in a cloud of noxious mercury fumes?
January 8th, 2009 at 4:14 pm
They won’t work with light sensitive switches either. I tried to use a couple in lights I have connected to come on when it goes dark. They just blow the bulbs. We will all be murdered in our beds by burglars at twilight or dawn (obviously not both).
January 8th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
‘Light bulb panic has hit Tesco…. shelves are empty!’
oh noes, ceiling cat will have to go to poundstretcher !
‘Bloody load of old codswallop.’
agreed.
January 8th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Light bulb panic has hit Tesco…. shelves are empty!
Sam… if you look on the box of the low-energy bulbs it says not to be used with dimmer switches. Grrrrrrr. again.
We’ve also got two ceining fans with lights….. they don’t fit them either!
Bloody load of old codswallop.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:58 pm
i wonder if we’ve got them expensive bulbs then that were in the house when we moved in 3 years ago, on a dimmer switch too. the fittings look ancient as in like when bronze/brass was modern, will ask himself when he gets home.
January 8th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Here’s the item
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/4165160/Low-energy-bulbs-do-not-fit-in-many-standard-light-sockets.html
January 8th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
We have a few where we can’t use them Sam.
You can get energy saving bulbs for dimmers but they cost a fortune
January 8th, 2009 at 1:55 pm
i can’t see any of this being accurate, fittings come in standard sizes and you can have dimmers on energy saving bulbs. or ?
January 8th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Apparently most of the ‘new’ bulbs won’t fit existing light fittings, have a look in the forum under 100 watt bulbs….
it’ll keep the electricians busy if nothing else
January 8th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
and then there was light……….
January 8th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
My dad was a gas mantle packer. He was made redundant in 1952 and never worked again. The streets will be full of dispossed renegade light bulb blowers. Manufacture of the 100 watt bayonet fixing incandescant will go underground.You mark my words, the households of Britain will be ablaze with light behind their nets.
Europe will return to the dark ages from whence it came and England, our England will once again maintain the bright beacon of civilization while the rest of Europe sinks beneath the wave of crime that will inevitably engulf the streets once the last 100 watt goes out.
And did those feet in ancient times, walk upon England’s mountains green………..
January 8th, 2009 at 11:46 am
Yampster… very good!
June… methinks the ugly bulbs won’t do your chandelier any visual favours…..
I’m going into crisis now at the thought of a life in darkness… Mr C&C is into camping and gleefully thinks Gaz lamps might be the future.
January 8th, 2009 at 11:22 am
Right…….
I am the lighthouse keeper at Skokholm Island at the entrance to Milford Haven. I have three 100 watt bulbs left and when they are gone the whole of the south Wales coast will be awash with Kuwaiti crude.
January 8th, 2009 at 11:07 am
You two are lucky, I have a candle and its burning away and the matches have nearly all gone …gulp.
We have 7 lights on a dimmer in the conservatory and a chandelier in the lounge…I better go and put my calling card in all the local phone booths…
January 8th, 2009 at 10:40 am
Wastrel! If it didn’t have 6 arms you wouldn’t need a dimmer. I have a 40 watt single behind thick glass in my cell and it’s on 24 hours a day. Think of the cost of that on a six armer.
January 8th, 2009 at 10:05 am
I’m not a panic-person but I was horrified to read that the low-energy bulbs that can be used with dimmer switches are £17.99 each. My light fitting with six arms and a dimmer would cost over £100 to replace the bulbs. and it would probably cost that much to get the dimmer replaced……. Crazy nonsense. Bring back the death penalty I say.