Call 419: The $700bn US Treasury Scam
DEAR AMERICAN:
I NEED TO ASK YOU TO SUPPORT AN URGENT SECRET BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF GREAT MAGNITUDE.
I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. MY COUNTRY HAS HAD CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 800 BILLION DOLLARS US. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER, IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.
I AM WORKING WITH MR. PHIL GRAM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY. AS A SENATOR, YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S. THIS TRANSACTIN IS 100% SAFE.THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY.
WE NEED A BLANK CHECK. WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE WE ARE CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON WHO WILL ACT AS A NEXT OF KIN SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED.
PLEASE REPLY WITH ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@TREASURY.GOV SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THAT INFORMATION, I WILL RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS THAT WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS.
YOURS FAITHFULLY MINISTER OF TREASURY PAULSON
The Nigerian Virgin Galactica Scam
Posted: 30th, September 2008 | In: Money Comments (32) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments
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October 1st, 2008 at 8:45 am
It’s OK as a first attempt, but needs a link to a relevant BBC website news item to give such a ridiculous story some credence.
September 30th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
Just to cheer us all along Ford are going on a 4 day week
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/transport/3109827/Financial-crisis-Ford-staff-to-work-four-day-week-as-car-demand-drops.html
September 30th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
a jewish pigeon…? oy vey..!!
September 30th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
what, at me being jewish? Nooooo not at all
September 30th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
Is this a subtle hint, FSBF?
September 30th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
well that would certainly help me start afresh. Is the day of reckoning on the 8th or 9th? I know my birthday is on the 8th…..just in case anyone wanted to send me a card….
September 30th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
…….and trembling.
Though it might work better if we all buggered off and left FSBF to enjoy the planet…
September 30th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
so begin the days of awe…….
September 30th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Yeah go on leave why don’t ya. I’m fed up of all the people being in my best fishing spot - I never get a look in! This planet will one day be mine ha ha ha haaaaaa
September 30th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Our problem is that the banking system would prefer to lend money to the Planet Splog than the bank next door, so Magnetite may be onto something here…
September 30th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Unfortunately Cheryl, it hasn’t been long since the UK finished paying back war loans from the US. Just a couple of years.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4757181.stm
I think part of the same deal was that the dollar would replace sterling as the trading currency. Oops. Still, if it had been the other way around the outcome would have been much the same.
Now I just have to look jaundiced enough to pass cursory inspection at the boarding ramp as the Chinese begin the inevitable colonisation of Mars.
September 30th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Cheryl Says:
September 30th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
FSBFPS
Not the US really - screw the Government they got us into this mess! Just we the people need some help. Guess you wouldn’t consider an “Adopt a US Family” program over there, or would you?
Listen here. I’m a overly generous pigeon. So much so that I give far more than I have got. I think you’ll find there are as many people here in the shit as there is over there. Like you said it’s your government that has got you in this mess and guess what? We’re suffering because of it. Now I would help but I got feck all to help with so i’m really sorry but nada, nope, can’t.
September 30th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Saul,
you are all heart.
Unless, of course, you are a heron, in which case we know what you want to do with the bunnies…
September 30th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
But there may be good news for holders of $20 billion Argentinian bonds in default, so let’s samba while we get the chance…
September 30th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Put me down for the Hefner Clan.
September 30th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
FSBFPS
Not the US really - screw the Government they got us into this mess! Just we the people need some help. Guess you wouldn’t consider an “Adopt a US Family” program over there, or would you?
September 30th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Who knows?
These inscrutable foreigners are inscrutable…
September 30th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Will Japan’s ZIRP come into play?
(been watching sky news, acronyms coming thick and fast)
September 30th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
June,
Fat cat investors like Fully Secured Bank Funding Pigeon may not have a yen for the euro, but the Japanese may decide that the buck is f*cked.
Particularly since Mitsubishi lost half a billion of the f*cked bucks yesterday afternoon on its share purchase in Morgan Stanley…
September 30th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Cheryl
Is the US gonna take that stance everytime they get themselves in the dung? Remember the 40’s. Remember the war.
September 30th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
you need Tone?
Cheryl forget all about it and come shoe shopping with we girls - after all Gloria Hunnifords mum says spend your money on good shoes and a good bed, because if you aren’t in one you are in the other.
And that is a good mantra
September 30th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
There is only one thought sustaining me at this moment, and that is
‘Thank God Tone is no longer PM’
A bit simplistic I know, but I’ve just had a flu jab…
September 30th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Come on you guys we need some help - remember the 40’s and we were over there ? Now is your turn to give us a helping hand …
Surely you can spare a few hundred billion can’t you? We’re family remember? Kissing cousins across the Pond. Now you know when one is down and out you can always depend on family to be there for you, our parents told us that!
Oh dear, where is Tony Blair when we need him …
September 30th, 2008 at 12:34 pm
I don’t care about the euro - I don’t know why but I just don’t.
September 30th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
FSBFPigeon
the euro is feeling it too and I wonder what the yen?
September 30th, 2008 at 11:56 am
watch the greenbacks tumble feel the sterling crumble
September 30th, 2008 at 11:52 am
agw ,
he claims he needs a blank check, why not do the Scottish/decent thing and send him a tartan swatch?
September 30th, 2008 at 11:44 am
The best things in life are free, but you can give them to the Birds and Bee’s…………
September 30th, 2008 at 11:39 am
give me the readies give me the cash !
great song agw - one of my favourites
September 30th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Bottle tops and old stamps work best…
September 30th, 2008 at 11:35 am
Art for art’s sake
Money for God’s sake