Ryanair Considers Charging For Using The Onboard Toilet
RYANAIR is considering charging passengers for using the onboard toilet.
Chief executive Michael O’Leary says the airline is looking at maybe installing a “coin slot on the toilet door”.
Given that you can get a On Ryanair you can get a blowjob in business class (ask her how) the privy door might include a Victorian erotic peep hole for those waiting in line (£1 a minute).
In First Class you get a commode, so they say.
Consumer group Which? says Ryanair is putting “profit before passengers”.
“One thing we have looked at in the past, and are looking at again, is the possibility of maybe putting a coin slot on the toilet door, so that people might actually have to spend a pound to spend a penny in future,” O’Leary tells BBC television.
“I don’t think there is anybody in history that has got on board a Ryanair aircraft with less than a pound.”
That’s what those scanners at friskers at airports are for – checking your wallets for loose change.
The sums have been done and new ways dreamt up to part you from your cash.
Would you like to give to charity? Would you like a drink? Would you like to poo in the toilet (£1), use of toilet paper (50 per segment; to be bought prior to boarding), and to flush the chain (10p)?
Would you like to land at your chosen destination on time, tomorrow, or whenever it suits us? Pay accordingly…
Posted: 27th, February 2009 | In: Key Posts, Money Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
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February 27th, 2009 at 7:01 pm
Hang on. Here I am merely hoping I can get Ryanair’s boss to drink my piss when there may be security questions here. Having never flown and therefore falling back on Bond films, etc. - could a handful of pound coins hurled across the cabin be enough to crack a window? Aided by the pressure differential, at high altitude would a crack be utterly disastrous?
Also, who the hell would need cash on a plane anyway? Are there cinema-style usherettes on Ryanair instead of stewardesses? Can I get a Twix, some Crusader’s nuts and a watered-down orange drink in a flimsy plastic cup with a feeble straw there jsut like at the picachewers?
February 27th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
What happens if you think you need a Brad Pitt, but it turns out to be just a bit part? Taxi for Brown!
February 27th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
…they’re just taking the piss….
February 27th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
You will get more than your fares slashed with Ryanair from now on
February 27th, 2009 at 3:48 pm
I agree with you June - or into your empty coffee cup before you hand it back…
February 27th, 2009 at 3:38 pm
I’d willingly put up with the pain of catheterisation if Michael O’ Leary had to quaff the contents of the bag the moment I stepped off the plane. I’d even pay him to do it.
February 27th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
Bugger em, pee on the seats…