Anorak

News | Anorak

News Category

We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.

Other Parents: Cherish Peterson left her child in a shopping trolley

Cherish the word

Other Parents focuses on Cherish Peterson who left her baby at the grocery store. Cherish, 27, forgot her two-month-old son Huxton was still sat in the trolley at Fry’s shop in Gilbert, Arizona.

Gilbert, who was with three of her four children when Huxton was left behind, has been charged with child endangerment.

This being the USA of A, Cherish go on the telly. She tell the nation:

“I consider it a fair trade – the Diet Coke for Huxton. They weigh roughly the same, so, d’uh.”

No. What she really said was:

“I’m a good mom who made a horrible mistake. I got into my car, and normally I put my cart away. But I didn’t need to because I parked at the front of the store and I never park there. And I drove away… As I was pulling into the garage, my three-year-old goes, ‘Where’s baby Huxton?’ His car seat is right behind me. I turned around and realised it was gone…

“There is nothing I love more in this world than being a mum. And there is no one in this world who could love my kids more than me.”

In other news, Macaulay Culkin just turned 35.

PS:  In 2012, British Prime Minister David Cameron and his wife, Samantha, left their eight-year-old daughter, Nancy, in a pub after having Sunday drink, Downing Street has confirmed. They were not arrested.
How easy is it to forget your children?

Posted: 31st, August 2015 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls summer 2015: Arsenal bought Vidal, Benzema, Aurie and Schneiderlin

Transfer Balls: a look at the player Arsenal FC bought over the summer trasfer window (and where they really ended up):

Arsenal Buy Arturo Vidal

June 28th 2015, Chile midfielder Vidal joins the Gunners, reports the trusty Daily Telegraph.

 

 

Vidal agrees

 

 

July 28: Vidal signs for Bayern Munich.

 

Arsenal Sign Serge Aurie

The Daily Express says so.

 

Screen Shot 2015-08-31 at 17.30.26

 

Fact: Aurie joins PSG.

 

 

Arsenal Buy Karim Benzema

ITV has the scoop on August 3.

Screen Shot 2015-08-31 at 17.32.08

 

On Augut 7, the Daily Telegraph said the deal was done. Benzema was on his way.

 

Screen Shot 2015-08-31 at 17.36.10

 

 

On August 17, the Daily Star said Benzema to Arsenal had not been agreed but it would be a done deal very soon.

 

Screen Shot 2015-08-31 at 17.33.30

 

On August 19, it was done.

Screen Shot 2015-08-31 at 17.44.42

 

 

On Augsut 23, the deal was done…again. The Metro said Benzema would be presented to Arsenal fans.

 

Screen Shot 2015-08-31 at 17.35.01

 

 

Fact: Benzema stayed at Real Madrid, referring to the media who said he was moving as “clowns”.

 

Morgan Schneiderlin

The Western Morning News had the facts. The Southampton player was a Gunner.

 

Screen Shot 2015-08-31 at 17.38.24

 

Morgan Schneiderlin joined Manchester United. Arsenal never bid for him.

 

Edinson Cavani

On August 23, the Star said Cavani was flying to London for his Arsenal medical.

 

Screen Shot 2015-08-31 at 17.45.17

 

He’s not arrived yet.

 

 

Posted: 31st, August 2015 | In: Arsenal, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Anorak heroes: Oliver Sacks dies at 82

11188187_887177371338312_8630227745107888216_n

 

Oliver Sacks has died. The metastatic melanoma finally took the life of the great neurologist and writer. He was 82.

Dr Sacks, most famous, perhaps for his book The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat – a look a case studies of peculiar brain patterns; the book’s name derived from the man who really could not differentiate between a hat and his wife – and  Awakenings, which recounted Sacks’ work at New York’s Beth Abraham hospital with survivors of a forgotten 1920 epidemic of sleepy sickness.

You can read more of the prolific author on Flashbak.

Posted: 30th, August 2015 | In: Celebrities, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Minions toy body wash will give your kids nightmares

minions death

 

The Minions 3-in-1 bodywash does not do what it says on the tin: it will not cause your child’s eyes to bleed. Probably.

Spotter: Ash Warner

Posted: 29th, August 2015 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


eBay dogging and murder caravan goes viral

dooging

 

On eBay the caravan “suitable for affairs or murders” is for sale.

“Apparently I owned this utterly crap caravan for three weeks before actually setting eyes on it.

“My husband drunkenly bought it on Ebay, and neglected to mention that one day he’d taken the day off work and driven halfway across the country to pick it up, deposit it around the back of our office, and failed to declare it as technically a marital ‘asset’ until recently.

“Luckily, I’m the trusting type, and despite appearances I don’t think he bought it solely for the purpose of having a sordid extra-marital affair or taking up dogging, however as you might be able to see from the pictures, it would be PERFECT for both…

“It has been brought to my attention that the “caravan” would also be suitable for use as a rolling meth lab. Apologies for the omission.”

Also: badger watching.

Posted: 28th, August 2015 | In: News, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Watch: man refuses to stop shagging in VR sex simulation demo

Give a man a VR headset and a plastic doll and he’s good to go.

And go…

vr sex

Posted: 28th, August 2015 | In: News, Technology | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Migrants: they come not to live but to conquer or die trying

van migrant dead

 

Can you imagine the horror? Seventy-one bodies have been discovered in the back of a lorry in Austria abandoned on motorway near the Hungarian border.

The dead – 59 men, eight women and four children – are,  reports the BBC, believe to have suffocated. They are thought to be fleeing from the madness in Syria.

Four people have been arrested.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel says:

“This is a warning for us to tackle the issue of migration quickly. We have more refugees in the world than at any time since the Second World War. The world’s eyes are upon us.”

Let them in. Destroy the trade in human flesh. Let the desperate not spend their last monies on a gangster with a dingy and a van. Let them in. Let them in with money so they can eat and live.

Earlier this week, 51 dead people were found in the hold of a ship off the coast of Libya. The Swedish coastguard ship arrived too late for them but it did manage to save 400 others, says the BBC. A boat carrying  an estimated 500 people capsized in the Med. Two hundred were found alive.

What to do? What to do?

Let them in.

See how they get on in fortress Europe.

Slovakia refuses to accept Muslim migrants. The country has yet to perfect its Muslim-detecting devices. But give it time.

Bulgaria keeps migrants out with 50 miles of razor wire along Turkish border. This fence is 15ft tall and 5ft wide. They say its kept people out, around 500 last month.

The language is fiery. The Daily Express wrote in July:

Fires, which are currently blocking access to the harbour, have plunged the crisis zone into further chaos.

It comes after Britain’s borders faced more disruption last night as hundreds of migrants including children stormed the Eurotunnel.

David Cameron has said Britain is threatened by a “swarm” of foreigners and the migrant crisis in Calais was likened to a “warzone.”

Migrants were pictured clinging to a lorry as they left the port of Dover, while others in Calais were seen clambering over fences with children in tow.

More than 4,000 increasingly aggressive and desperate migrants largely from war-torn failed African states have stormed through fences in a bid to clamber aboard trains to ‘El Dorado’ UK.

An estimated 150 have made it to Britain’s shores, with some claiming an increased feeling nationwide that the country is under siege.

Mr Cameron, meanwhile, remains in Vietnam and Theresa May has refused to call in military support to help the beleagured French forces.

Despite the numbers of migrants flooding into Britain, Mr Cameron has insisted the border with France is secure although he did admit the threat was very real. . . .

Natalie Chapman, of the Freight Transport Association, likened the scenes of chaos in Calais to a “warzone” and fears it is only a matter of time till a British driver gets killed in the French port.

She said: “The situation in Calais has been escalating over the last few months and you think it can’t get any worse – and then it does.

“For lorry drivers trying to get to the UK it’s like a warzone. You’ve got people who have made in many cases very long and dangerous journeys to try to get to the UK who will stop at nothing to try to get on board.

The desperate are now invaders. They do not come to escape, but to conquer.

The language is hard-edge. But it’s honest, at least. All mainstream political parties agree with the Express. They bluster at the language, point to the man who says “swarm” and demand he retract the slur, but they  all agree with the sentiment that migrants must be kept out.

They force David Cameron to explain why he referred to migrants as a ‘swarm’ – he says it was not ‘dehumanising’. Was it? Was it worst than the Labour Party who made Bulgarians and Romanians second-class Europeans, and who dismantled Libya and Afghanistan by bomb and bullet, dead countries from which migrants are escaping? Was it worse than ignoring the plight of ordinary Syrians, looking on as the country fell into disorder?

A confident Europe would not argue the toss and draw up a glossary of acceptable terms. It would let them in. These are the people who want to be here. Let them in

 

Posted: 28th, August 2015 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: why Everton rejected Chelsea’s bid for John Stones

stones chelsea

 

John Stones wants to leave Everton. Chelsea have been tapping on the player’s door all summer, keen to spend all that filthy lucre on the great English hope. Everton are not a big brand. They cannot offer Stones Champions’ League football and massive wages. Roman Abramovich’s Chelsea can.

But Everton can offer Stones a home where he can make mistakes and learn his trade. They can offer him loyal fans who do not turn up only to see their side win, and a young talented manager who wants to keep him.

Stones should stay at Goodison Park, writes Tony Barrett.

The theory throughout an increasingly tortuous transfer saga has been that there would be an offer that would make Everton buckle, but by adopting such a strong position through their manager, the club have given themselves the best possibly chance of keeping Stones.

Should they do so, they will send a message to clubs in a similar position that they do not have to yield to the league’s biggest fish; that even when a player has formally expressed his desire to go, they can ensure that he sticks to the contract he signed and prevent a scenario in which a club as powerful as Chelsea make themselves even stronger at your expense.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 27th, August 2015 | In: Chelsea, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Hitting the deadline: Colin Fry has died

colin fry ripTV Medium Colin Fry has died aged 53. The spiritualist, who appeared and made a handsome living from relaying impressions of messages from long/short-gone friends and family via programmes such as 6ixth Sense with Colin Fry, Psychic Private Eye and Most Haunted, had been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer back in April.

His manager David Hahn said: “Because of what he does (did surely?) he had no fear of dying”.

Anyone had a call from Colin, any flying objects around the house or non-alcoholic induced sense of the Fry presence? The perpetual tv’s very own Stephen Fry does not count.

No? Thought so.

Fear not, there’ll be another medium warming up to present Colin’s cold, sympathetic but very deadpan thoughts in half a failing heartbeat.

Posted: 27th, August 2015 | In: Celebrities, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Romance ‘wore': woman keys boyfriend’s car misspells ‘whore’

shannon csapilla

 

To Stamford, Connecticut, where Shannon Csapilla, 20, allegedly keyed her ex-boyfriend’s car, scratching the word “wore” into the paintwork.

At first glance is appears that Csapilla misspelt ‘whore’ But it could be that she also misspelt ‘war’, ‘wire’ or ‘were’.

Or maybe she spelt wore correctly and was making an oblique reference to the car’s tyres?

 

Spotter: Stamford Advocate

 

Posted: 27th, August 2015 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jimmy Kimmel no longer only man alive not to have seen Miley Cyrus’ breasts

1404051256535371693

 

In readiness to shock to deadline on the corporate VMA awards, host Miley Cyrus appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live with most of her breasts exposed.

Kimmel was thought by many to be one of the three remaining human being not to have seen Cyrus’s breasts. Miley is now actively seeking an audience with the Pope and Lord Lucan, preferably both at once to save time before she can move on to stage 2 of Operation Primary Sexual Characteristics and show us her massive beefy knob.

 

1404047499497014050

 

Kimmel was keen to know if Miley’s dad had appraised his daughter’s naked chest.

“My dad’s cool, because I’m sure he’d maybe rather me not have my tits out all the time,” said Cyrus. “But he’d rather me have my tits out and be a good person than have a shirt on and be a bitch.”

Those are a pretty limited set of life choices in the Cyrus household.

“You know what I’ve learned? It’s not the tit—are you allowed to say ‘tit’ on your show?”added Cyrus.
“Humans aren’t afraid of the human breast. It’s the nipple that’s the issue…Like, I’m showing my boobs and no one has a problem, but the nipples are covered, so somehow that’s OK. So America’s actually fine with tits. It’s nipples they don’t like.”

Which is great news for Donald Trump’s presidential campaign.

Posted: 27th, August 2015 | In: Celebrities, News, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Chelsea undercut Barcelona’s winning Pogba bid

Transfer Balls salutes the work of the Daily Mail which today reports that Chelsea have tabled a £54million bid for Paul Pogba. Juventus saw the bid and rejected it.

The paper than adds that Chelsea won’t get Pogba anyhow.

Barcelona held formal talks in June with Juventus over Pogba and believe they have an option for signing the 22-year-old next summer with the valuation set at around £73million.

So how can Chelsea have hoped to by the former Manchester United player for less then the £73m Barcelona had set aside?

And earlier the Mail said that Barcelona had seen a bid or £57m rejected – still more than chela’s bid.

 

Screen shot 2015-08-27 at 13.21.20

 

And what of the part about Manchester City giving up on Pogba? That’s odd because the Mail told us the Citizens had £70m earmarked for the Frenchman.

 

Screen shot 2015-08-27 at 13.26.23

 

Such are the facts in the Daily Mail.

 

Posted: 27th, August 2015 | In: Chelsea, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United: Alex Ferguson makes the most useless signing of his life

Today is 26th August, 2015 – the date that will echo throughout history as the day Sir Alex Ferguson joined the LinkedIn.

For those blissfully unaware, LinkedIn is a social networking site aimed at professionals. It is also responsible for generating almost 70% of the internet’s entire quota of unsolicited emails, but that’s really by-the-by. It is utterly useless.

Anyway, Sir Alex has created an account, billing himself as a “Director, Ambassador, Visiting Fellow and Author”. Yeah, we fibbed about the ‘dreamweaver’ bit. Apologies where due.

It should be visible here if you happen to be a LinkedIn member.

 

alex ferguson linked in

 

 

The 73-year-old former Manchester United manager has joined LinkedIn to coincide with the release of his latest book, ‘Leading’, in which he details the various managerial techniques he used to transform United into the global success they are today – screaming indecipherably in people’s faces, lacerating people’s eyebrows with flying Adidas Predators, that kind of thing.

Sadly, users will only be able to contact Sir Alex if they know him personally, thus depriving fans of rivals teams the opportunity to engage in direct slanging.

Damn shame. There could have been some decent mileage in that.

Posted: 27th, August 2015 | In: manchester united, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mayor wants flamethrowers banned: ‘only the police should have them’

'He wasn't black when we shot him'

‘He wasn’t black when we shot him’

 

The Mayor of Warren in Michigan, Jim Fouts, is upset that youths are spending their pocket money on flamethrowers, which retail at a bargain $1,000 a go.

“This is something that is so potentially dangerous that it’s just unacceptable,” he says.

Fouts says he has no argument with the right to carry arms, it’s just that he only wants police to have flamethrowers. This way, after they’ve shot you in the face they can purify the crime scene and bar-b-cue your remains.

 


YouTube link.

 

Posted: 26th, August 2015 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Neymar wants to play for Manchester United just like Pique does for Real Madrid

More scoops a -plenty in the trusty Daily Star, where journalism “clown” (source: Karim Benzema) Jack Wilson says Neymar wants to play for Manchester United.

 

Untitled

 

Neymar wants to leave the mighty Barcelona for life under Louis Van Gaal in Manchester? Is he mad?

 

JAck Wilson daily star

 

Jack Wilson has all the facts. And aside from the parts about Neymar wanting to play for Man United and Gerard Pique playing for Real Madrid (he plays for Barcelona at the Nou Camp; and unlike Madrid’s Sergio Ramos, the Spaniard never did use United’s interest to negotiate a pay rise) it’s all spot on.

 

Posted: 25th, August 2015 | In: manchester united, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Arsenal defy the Daily Star and refuse to unveil Benzema before Liverpool match

Did you see Arsenal unveil their new striker Karim Benzema before last night’s Liverpool match? Or were you reading the Daily Star when it happened, your eyes searching the pages for more scoops?

 

Untitled

 

For those of you who missed the great unveiling, here’s Karim:

 

benzema arsenal laughs

 

Meanwhile…over at the Daily Star’s Big Top, Jack Wilson is tripping over his size 34s…

Posted: 25th, August 2015 | In: Arsenal, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Watch the making of Moray McLaren’s gorgeous video for We Got Time

david wilson video

 

The video to Moray McLaren’s We Got Time features lovely animations. What you see is not reliant on modern cameras and computers. What you see is what was filmed.

 

 

Londoner David Wilson tells us how it was done:

All the animations seen in the music video were created in camera. No stopframe techniques, or computer super-imposing was used; what you see is what rolled off the camera. The animations in the side-on views were produced by the camera capturing the moving reflections from the mirrored carousels, and the animations in the top-down views were created by matching the cameras frame rate to that of spinning record. The transitions between each section of animation was created by simply cutting or wiping between the bits of footage.

And shows us:

 

 

Posted: 25th, August 2015 | In: Music, News, Technology | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Chelsea reduce their offer for Paul Pogba

Transfer Balls: Chelsea are all set to make a £72m, bid for France and Juventus player Paul Pogba, says the Daily Express.

 

Screen Shot 2015-08-25 at 07.40.19

 

Readers may well wonder if Pogba is worth such a vast sumn After all, the Express has told us he’s worth far les. In a series of exclusives and plain balls, the Express has reported that Chelsea have offered as much as £86m and as low as £40m for the player they will today hope to sign for £71m.

 

August 22: £60m

 

Screen Shot 2015-08-25 at 07.42.50

 

 

August 21: £86m

Screen Shot 2015-08-25 at 07.43.01

 

August 20: £80m

The raid is £40m for John Stones plus £80m for Pogba.

 

Screen Shot 2015-08-25 at 07.52.13

 

 

August 6: £71m

Screen Shot 2015-08-25 at 07.53.37

 

July: £40m

Screen Shot 2015-08-25 at 07.42.40

 

 

Such are the facts.

 

 

 

 

 

Posted: 25th, August 2015 | In: News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Human Centipede glass pipe for your hot box

human centipeded pipe 3

 

The Human Centipede pipe, by Dustin Yunker, is the ‘hot box’ tribute to the film of that name. We’re not sure what end goes to your lips; but our therapist assures us that which end you choose will say a lot about you.

 

human centipeded pipe 2

human centipeded pipe 1.

Spotter: DM

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 24th, August 2015 | In: Film, News, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Watch: Arsenal’s Petr Cech saves Arsenal – Liverpool saved by bad refereeing

On Petr Cech’s home Arsenal debut he gifted West Ham a 0-2 victory. Tonight against Liverpool he kept the Gunners in the game, keeping out a bending shot from Liverpool’s lively Philippe Coutinho with his fingertips.

And then against Benteke – who should really have scored:

At the other end, Arsenal scored a perfectly good goal wrongly adjudged offside:

Lucky Liverpool – again.

Posted: 24th, August 2015 | In: Arsenal, Liverpool, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer Balls: Karim Benzema says Arsenal rumours are a joke

What news of Karim Beenzema’s transfer to Arsenal? The Metro says Arsenal are “set to lodge a £50m bid for his services”. Real Madrid’s French striker is “ready to accept a transfer to the Emirates”. The Daily Star hears a “Madrid insider” says Arsenal will take the player in “the next 48  hours”.

According to no less an authority than the Daily Star, Karim Benzema will arrive at Arsenal today. The Daily Telegraph told us he joined Arsenal two weeks ago.

The player has taken time out from his packing to tell fans that, er, it’s not happening, tweeting:

For all those clowns who want to make believe things at my fans. Here this is my home !

 

benzema arsenal laughs

 

Or as the Star, Metro and Daily Telegraph would surely put it: “Benzema looks for second home in Arsenal!”

 

Posted: 24th, August 2015 | In: Arsenal, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Naked and pregnant Amanda Palmer recreates Damien Hirst’s Verity in New York (photos)

palmer

 

Amanda Palmer is eight months pregnant and painted brightly as she recreates Damien Hirst’s Verity statue to promote the New York Public Library’s children’s book campaign. Father of the bump Neil Gaiman helps her down from the plinth.

 

palmer 1 palmer 2 palmer 3

 

Spotter: Maria Popova

Posted: 24th, August 2015 | In: Celebrities, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Paris train attack heroes get the Legion of Honour

heroes

 

It’s the greatet story of the year – the tale of three American tourists, a French banker, an American teacher living in Paris and a British ex-pat who took down heavily armed Ayoub El Khazzani, a Moroccan, on a train to Amsterdam.

Today France’s President Hollande awarded the Legion of Honour to Alek Skarlatos, Anthony Sadler, Spencer Stone and Chris Norman.

The young French banker who first accosted the gunman wishes to remain anonymous. Mark Moogalian, 51, a university teacher based in Paris, was shot in the back. When he leaves hospital, he too will receive the Legion of Honour.

Said Hollande:

“You have shown us that, faced with terror, we have the power to resist. You have given a message of courage, solidarity and hope.”

We? No. They did.

El Khazzani, had a Kalashnikov assault rifle. Mr Skarlatos tells us:

“If he knew what he was doing or even got lucky and did the right thing, he would have been able to operate through all eight of the [ammunition] magazines and we probably wouldn’t be here today along with a lot of other people.”

Mr Moogalian’s French wife, Isabelle Risacher, saw what happened:

“My husband threw himself on the man to take his Kalashnikov away. When my husband collapsed, I saw him through the seats. He looked at me and said: ‘I’m hit, I’m hit’. He said that it was all over and he was going to die. There was blood everywhere.  My husband is one of the heroes of this story and he nearly paid for it with his life. A few millimetres difference and his cartoid artery would have been sliced by the exiting bullet.”

He lived becasue Spencer Stone staunched the bleeding. Stone had been cut with a Stanley knife.

Posted: 24th, August 2015 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0