BONG! “Residents help Lancaster University research roadside particulate pollution”
BONG! “Billion-year-old water could hold clues to life on Earth and Mars”
BONG! “First, carbon footprints… now you can calculate your ‘nitrogen footprint’”
BONG! “Staff and students get on the bus”
His Eminence Metropolitan Vladimir addressed a message to General Mayor of Chisinau, Mr. Dorin Chirtoaca, pleading that the authorities do not allow the organization of a gay pride planned for the 19th of May.
It is mentioned in the message: “The Metropolis of Chisinau and All Moldova continues to believe that this is a defying initiative, conflicting with moral values and decency. At the same time, a potential march of sexual minorities on the streets of Chisinau will be nothing else but a strong provocation with severe consequences, taking into account general repulsion of the population towards the deviant behavior of homosexuals and lesbians…”
TEST Your Patriotism with the Intelligence Centre Inc., New York, and stand a chance to win a scholarship worth $495!
It’s 1963 and the world in the grip of a Cold War. You need to pick a side.
Americans look like this? They have Presidential hair and clear complexions.
IN “WHO SOOTHED WEEPING MADDIE, the Daily Express leads with a Madeleine McCann “exclusive”. It adds: “Police seek couple who entered McCann apartment when Madeleine was crying.”
Mystery couple seen going into McCanns’ flat on night before sobbing Madeleine disappeared
The night before? A couple of strangers walked into the McCanns’ apartment where a child was crying the night before that child vanished? How does the Express know it was Madeleine who was crying? Three children were in the McCanns’ apartment.
SCOTLAND YARD detectives are trying to find a middle-aged couple said to have entered Madeleine McCann’s holiday apartment to comfort her because she was crying, we can reveal today.
AMANDA Knox has tapped into the realisation that the media will not leave her in peace. That’s one view. Another is that she’s courting the media to make any conviction for her alleged part in the murder of Meredith Kercher less likely. What we believe boils down to whether or not we in the court of public opinion like her or not.
FLASHBACK to the breakfasts of yestedday with Kellogg’s Sugar Smacks and “FREE DR Who Badges!” John Pertwee played the BBC time traveller between 1970 and 1974. He drove a jalopy called Bessie.
UNIT was the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce. The Brigadier was its stalwart. Jo Grant was a junior civilian operative for UNIT. The Master was the enemy, naturally.
IN the early 20th Century, tiger hunting was all the rage. King George V went looking for them after a good lunch with the Nepalese King. In 1902, Lieutenant Colonel Frank Sheffield went tiger hunting. He recorded his adventures in How I killed the tiger; being an account of my encounter with a royal Bengal tiger.
He tells his readers:
My main purpose in writing this little book, was to place in a permanent form a description of my wonderful preservation from death in a chance encounter with a Royal Bengal Tiger. My life had been adventurous up to that time. I had shot big game of various kinds. But this episode, so marvellous in itself, so important in its influence upon my after life and character, marks the close of my career as a hunter of big game.
These are the plates:
MADELEINE McCann: Anorak’s at-a-glance look at the missing child in the news: 20 new suspects with Detective Chief Superintendent Hamish Campbell:
The Front Pages:
Daily Mail (front page): “20 New Suspects”
The Sun (front page): “Brit Cops List 20 Maddie Suspects”
The Star (front page): “Maddie: Cops Hunt New Suspects
Express (front page): “Police Identify Maddie Suspects”
Daily Mirror (front page): She May Be Alive”
WE join in the action in Sydney’s Central Local Court. Mr Aaron Sabbah’s is appealing for bail:
Magistrate Eve Wynhausen: “What is the alleged arm?”
Prosecutor Christian Hearn: “It’s a black dildo, your honour.”
PHILLIP Roger Bennett, 58, was so upset by his neighbours’ apparent reluctance to mow their lawn in Bartow County, Georgia, that he set fire to their house.
Mr Corbitt tells us what happened:
“He kicks my door, tells me I’ve got five seconds to come outside. I turn around and call 911. And while I’m on the phone he comes back with two gas cans in his hand. He walks up to my kitchen door again, takes a gas can, smashes it against the glass, breaks the first pane… Then he turns around and grabs a brick, throws it through the window. And then he grabs a gas can and starts pouring it into the kitchen. And as he’s pouring he takes his lighter and lights it. And flames were everywhere. I ran back to my little girl’s room, grabbed her, ran out the back door over to my neighbor’s and watched the house burn.”
IN photos: Indian Muslim Sufi devotees use sharp objects and self flagellate during the Urs festival procession to mark the death anniversary of Sufi Muslim saint Hazrat Khwaja Muinuddin Chishti, in Ajmer, India. Some of these photos are challenging viewing:
IN Georgia, being gay is difficult. Today there was an anti-gay pride rally, in Tbilisi, Georgia. You might call it bigot pride. Thousands of anti-gay protesters, including Orthodox priests, occupied a central street in Georgia’s capital Friday, with some threatening to lash with nettles any participant in a gay pride parade which was to take place there. The gay parade was to feature around 50 marchers. Police in Tbilisi guarded the gay activists and bused them out of the city center shortly after they arrived at the gathering. In other words, they were rounded up and booted out of town.
THE Hong Kong Bun Festival:
Climbers collect mock buns during the Bun Scrambling contest at the bun festival at midnight in Cheung Chau island, Hong Kong Friday, May 18, 2013. The Bun Festival is the traditional event celebrating the islanders’ deliverance from famine centuries ago and is meant to placate ghosts and restless spirits.
STUPID animals are rife, but one dim-witted deer had a bloody lucky escape after being hit by a bus. Instead of dying, it ended up going through the window and wobbling around like Bambi.
The deer jumped across the path of the bus in Johnstown, Pennsylvania and smashed through the windscreen and was caught on video.
IN 1951: anyone uncertain of how to use a telephone was being educated:
EACH week, Anorak fields hundreds of PR missives. Most are banal. On Spin Alley, Grey Cardigan replies to one gormless message:
THE CURSE of the over-familiar press release continues unabated. “Hi Grey,” an X Factor reject and probably unpaid intern called Kacey-Lee gushes. “I do hope you and your family had a wonderful Bank Holiday weekend and managed to get out and enjoy yourself in the lovely sunshine. Did you have a barbecue? I just wanted to get in touch regarding a revolutionary new range of homeopathic cures for irritable bowel syndrome…”
Brilliant stuff. And it gets a reply:
“Dear Kacey-Lee. Thank you for your interest in the well-being of myself and my family. Unfortunately I couldn’t get out in the sun to enjoy myself because I am twice-divorced and therefore don’t have enough money to even pay for a Mr Whippy. As for a barbecue, a Lidl sausage toasted over a blow-lamp is about my limit. My children won’t talk to me, my latest ex-wife is shagging an investment banker while still shafting me for every penny she can get, and I can’t go out in the sun because I have red hair and turn bright crimson if I even walk past a microwave oven. Anyway, it was rainy and foggy up here, somewhere north of Kensington, so there was no sun anyway. Oh, and my dog died, which somewhat took the gloss off the weekend…”
MADELEINE McCann vanished six years ago. Another summer of sighting looms, all eagerly reported by newspapers looking for easy news in the shark-spotting season. The Evening Standard reports:
British police identify new leads in hunt for Madeleine McCann and urge Portuguese to act
Scotland Yard has identified a number of potential suspects who may have abducted Madeleine McCann, the force’s top detective revealed today.
“When he went to go pick it up, they brought the photo out and said unfortunately, although this means a lot to you, we can’t print it for you and we cannot sell it to you. He said, well why not, and they said because it’s nudity and Walmart has very strict no nudity policy.”
The photo was – and let’s use the buzzword of today’s illiberal tosspots – “inappropriate”. Mrs Andre adds:
“He replied with, it’s not nudity, it’s my wife feeding our child. And they said well if you look really closely, you can see a little bit of something there. My photo has no sexual connotation at all and here it is getting denied.”
Men can find a sexual connortation is pretty much anything.
“We made a mistake. That photo should have been printed. It’s the clarity in the policy. It’s obviously inappropriate to print certain photos so there needs to be some guidance for photo centre staff but that guidance wasn’t clear enough for them to know that those photos should have been printed from the get-go.”
REMEMBER Kai, the hero who gave TV the greatest interview of 2013 (before charles Ramsey) when he smu-ashed a ne’er-do-well with a hatchet? Well, now police allege that Kai, aka Kai Nicodemus or Caleb Lawrence McGillvary, bludgeoned attorney Joseph Galfy to death in his New Jersey home. The two men had met in New York City and then gone to the house.
SWEDISH researchers were looking at race:
The survey asked respondents in more than 80 different countries to identify kinds of people they would not want as neighbors. Some respondents, picking from a list, chose “people of a different race.” The more frequently that people in a given country say they don’t want neighbors from other races, the economists reasoned, the less racially tolerant you could call that society. (The study concluded that economic freedom had no correlation with racial tolerance, but it does appear to correlate with tolerance toward homosexuals.)…
WAR is utterly terrifying. It’s ugly. But in 1942, T.W. Smith, Jr., owner of the Sun Rubber Company, and designer, Dietrich Rempel, created something to give children nightmares: the Mickey Mouse gas mask, as approved by Walt Disney.
AUSTRIAN physician Stefan Jellinek founded The Electro-Pathological Museum in 1936. Hr provided the content in Elektroschutz in 132 Bildern (Electrical Protection in 132 Pictures). DEath and electricity went hand-in-hand. But with this book, you would be forewarned.
If you can identify all the contraptions, let us know.
SOME men, as we know, are utter arseholes. They mock period pains and child labour and say they could handle it all with ease. This of course, encourages a certain arsehole kind of woman who sneers about ‘man-flu’ and such.
However, child birth clearly tops the lot. Not only do you have the dreadful pain, but also, the hormonal mentalness and the vaginal tearing. And probably the pooing everywhere while you sit naked in a room filled with strangers.
And so, to two fellas who gamely decided to experience simulated labour pains. Mercifully, someone was on hand to film it all. Women who have given birth to babies conceived by gittish husbands, now’s your time to laugh.
“I’m telling you right now, I felt like I was having a baby,” stated one volunteer. The other said: “Mom, if anything that I just experienced was anywhere close to what I did to you all those years ago, I’m sorry. You’re like a superhero.”
Have a butchers.
We’ve been here before:
Photo: The pregnant man poster, issued by the Health Education Council. Such posters are being distributed in their thousands to persuade men to seek advice on contraception. Dr Bill Jones, Director General of the Health Education Council said “We want to make any ignorant or unthinking man stop and consider the suffering and problems he can cause through an unplanned pregnancy”. Date: 11/03/1970
OLD impressionists never die, they just get tired and emotional:
A naked man impersonating a character from Are You Being Served has been arrested by police.
Startled shoppers saw the six-foot-tall nude male striding down South Street in Chichester at around 1:20pm this afternoon.
He went into a shop and yelled “I’m free!” before hugging a worker and trying to touch his face.
He’s not free any longer…
Photo: John Inman sitting in a £2,000 petrol driven scaled down Volkswagen in Regent Street, London, today, as life-sized traffic roars past him. One of these cars, provided by the toy store Hamleys, will be competed for by the audience of “Mother Goose”, which opens at the Victoria Palace theatre on December 21st. The winner will be named by John Inman, the star, at the last performance of the pantomime. Date: 14/12/1981
RELIGIONS are often the first to point out how good charity is and that we should always reach out to those in need. However, one homeless chap has conducted an experiment which shows religious people aren’t taking their own advice.
The homeless man, as seen in a Reddit thread, bears a sign that says: “Which religion cares the most about the homeless?” There are nine begging bowls in front of him, each with money in them.