We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.
Padge-Victoria Windslowe is the self-styled “the Michelangelo of buttocks injections”. Like you high-brow readers, we know Michelangelo to be a teenage mutant ninja turtle who gets his energy to whoop ass from pizzas. In turns out that Windslowe was referencing the Vatican ceiling painter who made David with the tiny penis.
And it further transpires she was more Travis Perkins or Tony Hart than Michelangelo, because in 2011 Padge-Victoria killed 20-year-old Claudia Aderotimi during an illegal surgical procedure that involved industrial-grade silicone and Krazy Glue.
Windslowe has been convicted of murder.
The Daily Star leads with news of rats. Ginger Rats. Scottish Ginger Rats! It’s news you might miss because the Star’s front-page news is squashed between a riot of colourful adverts for horse racing at Cheltenham and the boast that it now the only tabloid with Page 3 Girls:
News is that the “savage rodents have turned a reddish colour after pet rats were released and bred with wild ones. And they can be seen running wild every day in Lochpark Industrial Estate, Hawick, just 20 miles from England.”
And “the rats have been burrowing towards England”.
The entire story is based on the report of eyewitness Colin, who says: “I’ve seen white rats as well as ginger ones. Someone from the council came up but I’m not sure what stage they are at.”
The story continues in the Express, where the ginger Scottish rats are now “GIANT”. But the photo shows a small, cute rodent – because giant rats massed at the border can be hard to spot:
“There will never be a ni**** in SAE.
There will never be a ni**** in SAE.
You can hang him from a tree, but he can never sign with me
There will never be a ni**** in SAE.”
So sing a few young white students dressed formal wear riding a bus chartered by the Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity at the University of Oklahoma. The SAE is a national organisation and its headquarters called the video “inappropriate” and said it was “disgusted” by its singing members.
“In addition, all of the members have been suspended, and those members who are responsible for the incident may have their membership privileges revoked permanently.”
University of Oklahoma President David Boren says the SAE will be kicked off campus. Forget blaming the mentally-negligible singers. Just blame everyone. You can be guilty by listening.
“When we learned about this incident, I called an immediate board meeting, and we determined with no mental reservation whatsoever that this chapter needed to be closed immediately. I am proud of my fellow board members because we mean what we say.”
It’s been closed.
But who recorded the video and uploaded it? Were they an SAE member? If they are, did they seek to expose the bigots or are they too dumb to realise the song’s impact? This site says Oklahoma is the most racist US State. Was the song a celebration?
The New York Times says the video was uploaded to YouTube by student group the Unheard Movement, which identified the people in it as members of Sigma Alpha Epsilon, although “the group did not indicate how it obtained the video or when it was filmed.”
And what of the singers, notably the man in the tuxedo leading the chant? His nine-seconds of stupidity will now ruin his life. His name is mud. We don’t know the context of this chant. All we know is that very soon he will become the world’s most evil scumbag who should crawl away and die. Tweeters and Facebookers who don’t really care will thrill at his destruction.
The knowing will point to the video of a rare moment of obvious racism and say it is the unmasking of bigger ills that the morally right and uniquely sensitive know to be true.
And it’s rarity is why the video has travelled and gone viral. A few numbskulls singing a racist song are turned into a huge news story. Why? Because it is the kind of story that reflects well on the storyteller, passing as shorthand for your own sound morals.
No need to march, vote, employ a black editor or look beyond race in your own life. No need to note that the frat house has been expelled and universally condemned. Just retweet if you are an anti-racist:
Google never forgets. You, sir, are the epitome of the entitled, white, ignorant racist. And you are a man no longer able to be yourself. In the court of public opinion, you’ve been sent down for life.
Free speech is under attack at Dixie State University in St. George, Utah. A group called Young Americans for Liberty (YAL) says it has been banned from mocking Presidents George W. Bush and Barack Obama, and Cuban revolutionary Che Guevara. The YAL produced three flyers, one for each leader.
The Washington Free Beacon notes:
The flyers were not approved because the school policy does not permit students to “disparage” or “mock individuals.”
You can’t mock leaders? And one of them’s dead!
William Jergins, the president of YAL, told the Washington Free Beacon the move represented a “blanket denial of the expression of our beliefs in the way that we felt would be most readily understood and accepted by our fellow students”
What with this being America, Jergins and two of his colleagues aren’t just carrying on regardless. They’re suing:
The lawsuit claims Dixie State has “adopted and enforced excessive restrictions on the rights of students organizations, and limited student speech in open areas of the campus.”
Their case is being supported by free speech champions FIRE, whose President and CEO Greg Lukianoff states:
“One has to wonder how Dixie State students can engage in serious political discussions—or any discussion at all—when they are forced to follow the university’s ridiculous policies, which go so far as to forbid any poster in a residence hall that students or administrators can claim creates an ‘uncomfortable’ environment’…
“Dixie State unconstitutionally restricts access to open areas on campus for expressive activities by requiring that students request permission to speak several weeks in advance. And once approved, plaintiffs were relegated to a previously unknown “free speech zone” that comprises only around 0.1 percent of Dixie State University’s 100-acre campus,” states the lawsuit.
A free speech zone? We thought that was called America. But not any more it isn’t.
The college has rules on flyers:
-39 CAMPUS ADVERTISING AND POSTING OF LITERATURE
39.2 All advertising literature must have a stamp of “approved advertising” to be considered legal for campus posting. This stamp is in the office of the vice president of student services.
39.4 Individuals posting “non-approved” literature may be cited for violation of Utah state law and fined for littering and/or violations listed above.
And if that’s not sad enough:
* All advertising materials should be computer generated or professionally produced.
• Materials must be in good taste (FCC guidelines), adhere to campus policy, look professional, and
not detract from the campus appearance. Dixie State University reserves the right to remove any
posted materials that do not meet our posting guideline
* [students display material] “may not single out any individual group(s) or entities in a derogatory manner.”
You need a permit for free speech on campus – the place where students should be challenging ideas. Self-expression needs approval. Your message should be “professionally” produced. Never mind the message, cop a load of that logo.
This would be remarkably pathetic if it were not typical of the West’s war on freedom of expression…
The Sun has a kiss ‘n’ tell. Readers meet Valentina Roth Soracco, billed on Instagram as a 23 year-old “former Olympic gymnast” who loves dancing. She wants to talk about sex with Arsenal striker Alexis Sacnhez.
This is a photo of her vaulting a staue in her native Chile:
ARSENAL star Alexis Sanchez was dumped by his fuming girlfriend after she caught his pals secretly filming them having sex.
Valentina hooked up with him while starring in a Chilean version of Strictly Come Dancing.
She told us: “His friend got hold of my mobile and messaged me to say Alexis wanted to get to know me. I was single at the time, I knew of Alexis, and I thought ‘Why not?’ so told the friend to get him to call. We started texting each other and finally met up a couple of months later when Alexis was home in Chile from Barcelona.”
She says they had sex.
“He took good care of himself. He was vain and waxed every hair on his body so he looked like a baby with muscles.”
She then tells a story about a night out in 2010. No-one saw them leave the club they were in because they left by different exits. They wound up in Alexis’ bedroom. She says they were having sex when she spotted two men watching them from within a wardrobe:
“A few seconds later I heard the door creaking. I jumped up and opened it and saw his friends. They were stood in the cupboard, red-faced, holding up a mobile phone. I grabbed it, ripped out the SIM card, threw the phone to the floor and smashed it to pieces.”
“I was furious. Alexis insisted he had nothing to do with it.”
She then adds, and this is bit odd:
“I dressed and left immediately with a girlfriend.”
We do not get to know where or why the ‘girlfreind’ was there. But she says she smashed the phone and destroyed the video.
“When I see him on the TV for Arsenal I see a player who’s worshipped by millions — but he’s just an immature little boy who would be no one if it wasn’t for his talent with a ball. He needs to think long and hard how he treats women.”
Some reports allege Roth needs money.
As yet there’s been no reply from Sanchez.
Such are the facts…
Robots are just great. The can help defuse bombs, find people trapped under rubble and provide defence when hazard chamicals have been spilled. They can also watch you and control you.
In the Congo, solar-powered aluminium robots are huge loom over the roads in Kinshasa. Equipped with red and green lights these robots regulate the flow of people and traffic and film the scenes, relaying pictures back to police HQ.
But not as creepy as the Knightscope K5 is a five-foot-tall autonomous robot “that roams around your neighborhood, observing and gathering data and trying to predict where and when criminal activity will occur.”
Paul Detrick points us towards other creepy robots in this film:
Kommersant is reporting that the people arrested on suspicion of murdering Boris Nemtsov, Russia’s opposition leader, have already confessed.
Anzor Gubashev and Zaur Dadaev are in the confession box. They are said to be from the North Caucuses, perhaps Chechnya and Kabardino-Balkaria. They have, reportedly, confessed to shooting Mr Nemtsov in the back four times as he strolled within sights of the Kremlin.
In Russian policing is swift and just.
The BBC reports:
Russian investigators have publicly offered multiple motives ranging from Nemtsov’s business dealings to his condemnation of the Charlie Hebdo attack in Paris.
What about suicide?
Nemtsov was killed just days before a march he was organising against the war in Ukraine.
He had also been drafting a report expected to expose covert Russian military involvement in the conflict…
One Russian MP, Nikolai Kovalyov, told Ria-Novosti news agency that the key thing was to “find out who ordered this assassination”.
The British remain insanely jealous of superior Russian policing:
Sky News: “Family Demands Names Of New Child Abuse Files”
The Cabinet Office’s refusal to give details of four new child abuse files has angered many, not least the family of Martin Allen.
Tom Parmenter reports:
The Government’s refusal to reveal the titles of four files related to child abuse has been branded “disgusting” by the family of a boy missing since 1979.
Immigrants Gave Me Diabetes: a look at the news behind this week’s Daily Express front pages:
Monday: “Asylum Bill Hits £726,000 A Day”
The Express says it cost the “taxpayer” £726,000 a day to house and feed asylum seekers”. These are people seeking refuge in the UK. The Express then says this is becasue “of the strong desire by migrants from around the world to live here”. The paper soon turns aslyum seekers and the cost of caring for them into a story on legal migrant workers.
The Government says:
You must apply for asylum if you want to stay in the UK as a refugee. To be eligible you must have left your country and be unable to go back because you fear persecution… You won’t usually be allowed to work while your asylum claim is being considered.
Migrant workers are legal and can work.
The story continues on Page 7. There readers learn “one in three Met arrests is a migrant”.
The Express makes no mention of how many of these arrests end up with a charge or conviction nor how many migrants were arrested more than once. The presumption of innocence until proven guilty seems to have gone out of the window.
The Express then invites a source to opine:
Steven Woolfe, Ukip’s migration spokesman said: “It is inevitable that with high levels of immigration comes a high level of crime.”
A story on asylum seekers has been conflated with evils of migration and immigration. It’s as if the paper and its sources have an agenda.
In 2009, research concluded:
Immigrants from the eight Central and Eastern European countries that joined the European Union in May 2004 are less likely to be claiming welfare benefits and less likely to be living in social housing than people born in the UK, according to a new paper from UCL. What is more, they have made a positive contribution to the UK fiscal system, paying more in taxes than they receive in direct and indirect public transfers (such as benefits, NHS healthcare and education).
Not all criminals, then.
Tuesday: “Paracetamol In New Health Alert”
TAKING a daily paracetamol tablet could put you at risk of deadly heart disease and kidney failure, a new study suggests.
The study was, reportedly, by Professor Philip Conaghan, MBBS, PhD, professor of musculoskeletal medicine, University of Leeds. He was aided by Emmert Roberts, from South London and the Maudsley Mental Health Trust, Maudsley Hospital, London. What the Express fails to note is that Prof. Conaghan told one medical organ:
Because this literature review was based on long-term observational data, there are many potential biases that could influence the results, so it cannot be called ‘hard’ data at all,” study author Philip Conaghan, MBBS, PhD… told Medscape Medical News.
“For example, one confounder that is impossible to measure is the use of over-the-counter medicines, which are usually not recorded and can include drugs with significant side effects, such as ibuprofen. Of course it’s almost impossible to get long-term data from clinical trials: They usually don’t run for many years, so we are dependent on this sort of imperfect data to explore long-term potential drug side-effects…
“[W]e should consider the benefit-risk ratio for particular conditions, and would need to see where paracetamol has demonstrated benefits. A recent study in Lancet suggested paracetamol wasn’t effective for treating acute lower back pain, although its safety was good over the 4-week period of that study,” Dr Conaghan said.
Such are the facts. And why let them stand in the way of a scary hadline?
Wednesday: “Arthritis Cure Is On The Way”
Just as it was in 2012.
The story tells of cartiledge replacements within five years. Great news. It cannot come fast enough. But nowhere in the study is “five years” mentioned. And Giles Sheldrick’s front-page scoop is a rehashed press release from Arthritis Research UK.
Thursday: ‘How Statins Can Cause Diabetes”
But it is ok becasue in 2014 the Express reported that Diabetes has been cured. Now the paper leads:
“Pills raise the risk of getting disease by 46% say experts”
One expert says:
London cardiologist Dr Aseem Malhotra said: “Although the benefits are clear in reducing the risk of death in those with established heart disease this is not the case for a low-risk population. Millions see them as a magic pill but they are not. This research shows you are more likely to develop irreversible Type 2 diabetes than prevent a non-fatal heart attack if you are at low risk.”
If you are at low-risk…
The Express fails to record this from the research’s senior author Markku Laakso, MD, from the University of Eastern Finland and Kuopio University Hospital:
“Even if statin treatment is increasing the risk of getting diabetes, statins are very effective in reducing cardiovascular risk. Therefore I wouldn’t make a conclusion from my study that people should stop statin treatment, especially those patients who have a history of myocardial infarction or so on.
“But what I would say is that people who are at the higher risk, if they are obese, if they have diabetes in the family, etc, should try to lower their statin dose, if possible, because high-dose statin treatment increases the risk vs lower-dose statin treatment,” he continued.
And another expert adds:
Asked to comment, Alvin C Powers, MD, from Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, Tennessee, explained that there were limitations to the conclusions that could be drawn from this study.
Speaking as part of the Endocrine Society, he said: “The first thing is that this study did not examine the benefits of statin therapy, it examined only the risk of diabetes.”
Dr. Gil Ross had these thoughts: “Based on several studies over the past five years, I’d come around to the belief that there was indeed an increased risk of diabetes consequent to statins — in the 10-15 percent range.”
Friday: “Keep Positive to Live Longer”
“Staying postive is the key to a longer life, scientists hve found”
The British Heart Foundation (BHF) and University College London studied the mental attitudes of 369 patients admitted to hospital with unstable angina and heart attacks and monitored their health for 46 months…
Professor Andrew Steptoe, who led the study, said: “Our research shows optimistic people are more likely to take advice about lifestyle changes on board, like quitting smoking and eating more healthily, and this results in better outcomes.”
So positive thinking is not the secret of long er life. Getting ill people to quit smoking and eat better might be.
“Our findings could be used to identify pessimistic patients and encourage them to make the necessary changes to their lifestyle that can ultimately lead to better health.”
Another medic adds:
“Suffering from a serious condition such as angina or heart attack can take a drastic emotional toll, which we know can lead to depression, further lowering the chances of a full recovery.”
In their decade-long study, the researchers found 37 per cent of the most pessimistic patients went on to suffer further heart attacks, heart surgery or death in the four years after they were discharged from hospital compared with 19 per cent of the most optimistic.
This reserch – which involved asking patients who they felt about things – comes ahead of No Smoking Day on 11 March, when the BHF are urging smokers to quit for good. The Express does not mention that.
Professor Steptoe works with the British Heart Foundation. On their website you learn:
Professor Steptoe and team have found that people from lower socio-economic groups tend to suffer the biological effects of stress for longer than more affluent people, which in turn influences heart health. The researchers are now studying if a person’s socio-economic position, work stress, social support and social isolation might be important risk factors for developing heart disease.
There might be reasons why peopls are more or less positive.
Such are the facts…
Westminster paedophiles: a look at reporting on allegations that VIPs operated a murderous child abuse ‘ring’ in London’s Westminster.
Today we hail the return of Harvey Proctor, the former Essex MP who in 1987 admitted “spanking sessions” with male prostitites. Proctor was MP for Basildon in Essex from 1979 to 1983 and Billericay from 1983 to 1987. He was popular.
The Press feasted off the story:
So. Harvey Proctor is back on the news cycle.
His name resurfaced in a 2014 story in the Daily Mirror:
Two senior ministers in the Thatcher government exposed by the Sunday Mirror last week for indulging in sex parties with underage rent boys were named in a damning paedophile dossier compiled in the 1980s.
Sir Keith Joseph and Sir Rhodes Boyson were cited in the “VIP” paedophile document drawn up by Labour’s Barbara Castle. Other MPs, senior policemen, head teachers and clergy were also named.
Joseph: died in 1984. Boyson: died in 2012.
And today we can also reveal disgraced former Tory MP Harvey Proctor has been named by witnesses in connection with sex parties and faces being questioned by a Government inquiry.
Special branch officers seized Baroness Castle’s file in 1984.
The Daily Mail looks at the latest news:
The investigation into claims of a VIP paedophile sex ring widened dramatically yesterday after police raided the home of a disgraced Tory MP. Harvey Proctor, 68, had been named on a list of politicians passed to police by campaigning Labour MP John Mann. Scotland Yard officers spent two days searching his grace-and-favour home at Belvoir Castle in Leicestershire after a police team arrived on the estate on Wednesday.
The Times: “I’m in a Kafkaesque trap, says ex-MP over child sex claims”
Writes David Brown:
A former Conservative MP has described being trapped in a “Kafkaesque fantasy” after his home was searched by police investigating claims that a Westminster paedophile ring killed children. Harvey Proctor, who left parliament in 1987 after being charged with gross indecency with male prostitutes, denied being part of a “rent-boy ring” or attending sex parties with prominent figures.
A “rent-boy ring”? Is that a pun?
The Scotland Yard investigation centres on claims that politicians and others in the Establishment abused children at the Dolphin Square apartment complex near parliament in the 1970s and 1980s. One witness has claimed that a paedophile ring murdered three children.
But we have seen no evidence to back the claims up. All those column inches and appeals for witnesses but still no evidence. To be linked to vile crimes so publicly. To have your home searched. Those are no easy, small matters. They create a stink. But when the cloud of obvious police action has passed, what’s left is a merely a stain on the target. He’s not been arrested, let along charged.
Mr Proctor, 68, was prosecuted after a newspaper revealed that he had taken part in the spanking of male prostitutes aged between 17 and 21 at his London flat. He was fined £1,450. He now works for the Duke and Duchess of Rutland and lives with his partner in a house within the 16,000 acre grounds of their home, Belvoir Castle, in Leicestershire.
Mr Proctor told BBC Radio 4:
“I find myself in a very Kafkaesque fantasy situation. The police have said basically that they are investigating historical sex abuse allegations going back to the 1970s and 1980s. I have never attended sex parties at Dolphin Square or anywhere else. I have not been part of any rent-boy ring with cabinet ministers, other members of parliament or generals or the military… The last thing I would have dreamt of doing was talking to other MPs or ministers or anyone else about my private life. It wasn’t that I was ashamed of being a homosexual, it was that I didn’t think it mattered a damn to the work I did on behalf of my constituents.”
It a story high on impact but low on fact. The ‘rent boy ring’ gave us one sticky-fingered adolsescent snigger and now comes another:
Mr Proctor, who ran a shirt shop after resigning as an MP…
On October 30 1994, the Independent’s Peter Victor profiled the shop:
SENIOR Tory politicians including Michael Heseltine, President of the Board of Trade, and Lord Archer have invested more than pounds 100,000 in a loss-making shirt shop owned by the disgraced former Tory MP, Harvey Proctor, perusal of the register of members’ interests reveals to the curious inquirer.
The register discloses the fascinating fact that no fewer than 11 current MPs have shareholdings in a little-known clothes retailer, Cottonrose Ltd…
Lots of former chums chipped in. Besides multimillionaires such as Lord Archer and Mr Heseltine, they included the present Paymaster-General, David Heathcote-Amory; Mark Lennox-Boyd, a former junior Foreign Office minister; and MPs Sir Nicholas Bonsor (Upminster), Richard Shepherd (Aldridge-Brownhills) and David Evans (Welwyn Hatfield).
Several MPs who, like Mr Proctor, have suffered public reverses to their political careers also coughed up at least pounds 5,000 each. They included Neil Hamilton, forced to resign as Northern Ireland minister last week after allegations that he was rewarded by Mohamed Al Fayed, owner of Harrods, for helping in his battle with Tiny Rowland; Tim Yeo, the former Environment minister who was forced to resign after news broke of his adultery with Julia Stent, a Hackney Labour councillor, who bore his child; Michael Brown, who resigned as a Tory whip last May after a tabloid newspaper reported his homosexual affairs with a youth and a Ministry of Defence civil servant; and David Ashby, who suffered unwelcome publicity after admitting sleeping with a man but denying having sexual relations with him.
He was offered a right to reply:
Asked about it yesterday, amid the gold cufflinks and Tino Cosma accessories, the silks and the satins, Mr Proctor’s response was more of the sackcloth variety. ‘I don’t talk to lying newspapers,’ he said. ‘That is my quote. If you don’t leave my shop I shall call the police.’
A TORY minister had his nose broken when he went to the aid of a former MP who was being attacked by two men, a court was told yesterday.
In July last year, Neil Hamilton, a trade minister, and his wife, Christine, were visiting a shirt shop in Richmond, southwest London, owned by Harvey Proctor, who resigned as MP for Billericay in 1987 after being involved in a sex scandal. Isleworth Crown Court, west London, was told that James Coomber and David Parker entered the shop and became abusive, asking Mr Proctor: “Have you any ties for tying up rent boys before you spank them?”
As Mr Proctor tried to usher them out, they began throwing punches. Mr Proctor was punched in the face and had his little finger broken. When Mr Hamilton tried to come to Mr Proctor’s aid he was punched in the face three times and knocked to the ground. He needed surgery for a broken nose.
“I believe the number of victims grows by the day, and the number of alleged perpetrators — through death — diminishes. That is a problem. It’s certainly a problem for me. My problem is that I am still very much alive. I’m sure that some of the allegations are true, but I am also sure that a lot are pure and utter fantasy.”
The Times then adds a key fact:
Mr Proctor emphasised that his four guilty pleas related to homosexual activity with men who he believed to be above the age of consent of 21 that existed at the time, and who were older than the present age of consent of 16.
As he says:
“I pleaded guilty to four charges of gross indecency in 1987. Those offences related entirely to the age of consent to homosexuality. That age has been reduced first to 18 and now to 16. The offences I committed in 1987 are no longer offences and there is legislation on the statute book which would allow me to wipe them clean if I wished to do so.”
Gays were prejudiced against in law. That bigotry has now been righted.
Andrew Pierce reviwes the life of Proctor in his article for the Mail, a story headlined:
Spanking parties and the Enoch fan too right wing for Maggie
…his views on immigration were considered so far beyond the pale that while serving as an MP he was beaten unconscious at a demonstration in Scarborough, had red paint thrown over him when addressing Coventry University, and burning papers were thrust through the letter box of his tiny terrace home in Billericay.
Urging the abolition of the Commission for Racial Equality, he demanded the forcible repatriation of 50,000 ‘coloured’ immigrants a year, proposing a £7,000 payment to encourage them to go… he attempted to halt the growing tide of political correctness by launching a campaign to save the golliwog.
To those readers unaware of the golliwog, here is a poitted history of the children’s toy:
The original Golliwog (spelt Golliwogg) was based on a “Negro minstrel doll” and appeared in a book by Florence Kate Upton in 1895. He is described as “a horrid sight, the blackest gnome”. Nevertheless, he is “lovable” and basically benign.Half a century later, Enid Blyton’s Gollywog books appeared, relating the adventures of three little fellows called Golly, Woggy and Nigger, who liked nothing better than to stride along, in Blyton’s own words, “arm-in-arm, singing merrily their favourite song – which, as you may guess, was Ten Little Nigger Boys”.Then there were her Noddy books, in which they feature once more. In one incident, Noddy is attacked by golliwogs, who steal his car and leave him stranded.The publishers of Agatha Christie’s 1939 novel Ten Little Niggers made the symbolic connection completely unambiguous. The cover showed a lynched golliwog hanging from a tree.
In 2009, Maggie’s daughter Carol Thatcher sat on a BBC sofa and referred to a tennis player as a “golliwog”.
It can take a long time for attitudes to move on.
But however foolish the law, innocence must always be presumed.
To mark World Book Day, school children are encouraged to dress up as their favourite book character. Liam Scholes, 11, arrived at Sale High School dressed as Christian Grey, eponymous star of 50 Shades of Grey. He carried a mask and cable ties.
The school duly banned him from participating in themed events and the class photograph.
And that seems harsh given that in the 1930s sad-masochism was the stuff of boys comic books. Indeed 50 Shades of Grey was originally titled 50 Shades of Greyfriars, a work of Billy Bunter fan fiction:
Having been told that Jihadi John is Mohammed Emwazi, the loveable rogue’s father is the subject of the Times‘ story: “No proof my son is Isis butcher, says father of Mohammed Emwazi.”
Which makes us wonder: where is Mo, then? Has he got in touch to dismiss the stories?
Jasem Emwazi, for it is he, has hired a lawyer in Kuwait. No, not to sell his story to the highest bidder or to auction his belongings to ghouls. That for later. The lawyer is there to stick to the facts, telling one and all:
“I am not sure that [Jihadi John] is my son. There is no proof that the man shown in the videos and photographs is my son, as the media has reported in the last few days.”
The Daily Telegraph has news:
“IPCC to investigate police ‘cover up’ of eight year old boy’s murder”
Can police find Vishal Mehrotra’s killer in what police didn’t do?
Can it be that the Westminster “abuse conspiracy” was carried out under the very noses of the police without them knowing?
For those of you still unconvinced that Islamic State is policed by depraved, murderous nutjobs comes news that jihadis fed a Kurdish fighter to his mother. The Sun leads with the news:
We meet Yasir Abdulla, 36, who has left his home in Yorkshire to fight for a Kurdish homeland. Says he:
“I hate IS because of what happened to an old Kurdish woman from a nearby tribe. Her son was captured by IS fighters and taken as a prisoner to Mosul. She was determined to find her son and went to IS headquarters and asked to see him. The IS men told her to sit down because she had travelled a long way and said she should have some food before they took her to meet her son. They brought her cups of tea and fed her a meal of cooked meat, rice and soup. She thought they were kind. But they had killed him and chopped him up and after she finished the meal and asked to see her son they laughed and said, ‘You’ve just eaten him’.”
And, as ever, we hear the news that the killers do not represent Islam:
“All the tribes are united against IS. They burn people alive, they chop off people’s heads, there is no limit to their depravity. They are not Muslims, they have hijacked Islam. All they do is hate.”
He’s right. It’s tribal. It is Islam. It is nationalistic. It is far more complex than simply being a Muslim problem.
But what of the story of the poor woman who ate her son? It just ends. We want to know what happened to the mother forced into cannibalism. We want to know who did it. We want to know if it is true. Of course, it sounds like it could be.
And what of the kurds, now called “brave” and noble, who are alone defending the West from barbarism, who with the other indigenous peoples of the area (and, yep, let’s include the Jews) are countering the notion that all of the Middle East is exclusively Arab land?
Why didn’t they have their own state, already?
In the early 20th Century, many Kurds began to consider the creation of a homeland – generally referred to as “Kurdistan”. After World War One and the defeat of the Ottoman Empire, the victorious Western allies made provision for a Kurdish state in the 1920 Treaty of Sevres.
Such hopes were dashed three years later, however, when the Treaty of Lausanne, which set the boundaries of modern Turkey, made no provision for a Kurdish state and left Kurds with minority status in their respective countries. Over the next 80 years, any move by Kurds to set up an independent state was brutally quashed.
Who signed the Treaty of Lausanne (1923), the final treaty concluding World War I. Well, Turkey, Britain, France, Italy, Japan, Greece, Romania, and the Kingdom of Serbs, Croats, and Slovenes (Yugoslavia).
In 2010, the BBC wrote:
Could Turkish and Kurdish gangs become new ‘mafia’?
The Britsh Kurdish community is focused on Hackney and Harringey, London. The Kurds fled persecution in Turkey, Iraq and Iran, arriving in large numbers in the late 1980s and early 1990s.
The Museum of London reports:
The Kurdish minority has frequently suffered oppression, for example in Turkey speaking Kurdish was banned from the 1920s.
A few Iraqi Kurds arrived in Britain after the 1958 coup in Iraq when the nationalist Ba’ath party seized power.
Iranians seeking asylum in London from Shi’ite Muslim Ayatollah Khomeini’s revolution in 1979 included Kurds.
In 1988, thousands of Kurds were murdered with chemical weapons in the ‘Anfal’ military operations carried out under Saddam Hussein in Iraq, and some escaped to Britain when the Gulf War ended in 1991.
Kurds in Turkey are still not recognised as a separate culture and are discriminated against.
In the late 1980s Alevi Kurds began to come to Britain to escape persecution by Turkish Sunni fundamentalists.
Although Kurds in London may share political sympathies with other expatriates like the Turks, they are nevertheless determined to differentiate their culture from Turkish and other mainstream cultures.
British bureaucracy has often not distinguished Kurds from other refugees from Iran, Iraq and Turkey, so the exact number of Kurds in London is unknown.
They just need a State and a flag to be known by.
In 1999, the British State was no fan of exported Kurdish violence:
Kurdish language station Med-TV has had its licence suspended by the Independent Television Commission. The ITC said several broadcasts by the Kurdish-language company Med-TV had included calls to carry out violent acts in Turkey.
Med-TV has been given three weeks to convince the ITC to allow the station to continue broadcasting.
“The essence of these recent breaches is that the broadcasts contain calls to direct violence and criminal actions of various kinds,” ITC’s Director of Programmes and Cable, Sarah Thane, said.
The broadcasts were made after Turkey’s arrest of Kurdish rebel leader Abdullah Ocalan last month. They featured messages from Kurdish leaders calling for acts of violence in Turkey.
There has been killing and mayhem in the name of Kurdistan in Turkey. But whereas once we condemned it, the West now applauds it. The Kurds have become a useful ally. We love them fighting hard for their ancestral homeland. It’s just that we don’t want them to have the land when the fighting is over. So. Thanks, Yasir, but don’t expect too much from the West…
The Sun has news on Jihadi John. His father, Jasem Emwazi, 51, “has not been seen at his family home in Queen’s Park, North West London, since Mohammed Emwazi was identified as the Islamic State serial killer”. This is because, says the Sun, he’s in Kuwait.
A Kuwaiti “source” tells the paper:
“Security agencies have taken the necessary measures to monitor him and relatives round the clock.”
Why? In case they write Dear John letters? Emwazi’s family are not on trial. Emwazi is. The Guardian adds:
Emwazi’s immediate family are from Kuwait, and his father Jassem, mother Ghaneyah, and eldest brother Omar were on Sunday taken in for routine questioning by Kuwaiti authorities.
Westminster peadophiles: a look at reporting on the allegation that a VIP ring of paedophiles abused children during the 1970s and 1980s.
The most recent national front-page story on Westminster peadophiles appeared on Janaury 27. Then the story was that Sir Leon Brittan, the man accused of burying a dossier on depravity in high places, would be probed “beyond the grave”.
Well, he wasn’t probed in life, so maybe the officers of law and order will have better luck with his corpse.
It turns out that Britton really had been very ill.
But there has been news. It’s just not been as prominent as it once was.
On February 27, Exaro News claimed that Lord John Henniker-Major (ambassador to Jordan) and Sir Peter Hayman (Tory MP) (both dead) led “parallel live”. It says Hayman allowed Peter Righton (dead) to stay at his Suffolk home. Exaro says Righton supplied boys for Hayman and others to abuse at Dolphin Sqaure, the apartment block close to the Houses of Parliament.
Exaro says Righton, as well as being a paedophile, could have been a child killer. Maybe. Maybe not.
The Indy has more (Jan 30):
A top British diplomat and intelligence operative has been named as the focus of a government file into “unnatural” sexual behaviour. The document, which names Sir Peter Hayman as the subject of a briefing compiled for then-prime minister Margaret Thatcher, is now available in the National Archives.
Sir Peter, who died in 1992, was High Commissioner to Canada and was worked for MI6. The file is titled “Sir Peter Hayman: allegations against former public official of unnatural sexual proclivities; security aspects”.
The file bears the codename PREM 19/588, the prefix of which indicates it was prepared for the Prime Minister. Sir Peter Hayman was branded a paedophile in 1983 by Conservative MP Geoffrey Dickens, who was speaking in parliament and was therefore protected from legal reprisals under privilege. The file is dated October 1980 – March 1981 – years before the allegations by Mr Dickens were made public.
Henniker was top brass, workjng for the Foreign Office. His obituary in the Guardian begins:
Everything that the 8th Baron Henniker, who has died aged 88, did, as soldier, public servant and diplomat, was done with panache and to applause, until he became director general of the British Council in his 50s.
We learn that he became “director general of the British Council”. Does that link him to Charles Napier, the peadophile who was shunted off to foreign climes? Exaro gives Henniker the side eye but fails to lay the softest glove on him, saying that his links to Hayman “remain unclear”.
Over in the Guardian there was a problem:
Homosexual pardon delayed as officials say it could benefit paedophiles. Liberal Democrats pledge to pardon 49,000 men convicted before 1967 in any future coalition, while campaigners say warning about paedophiles is an excuse.
Eh? This is an old slight on homosexuals, that gay men are all paedophiles or at least shouild be suspected of peadophilia. The criminal conviction of men for homosexuality was an abomination. What consenting adults do with their own bodies without causing harm to unwilling others, pets and precious objects should not be the business of the state.
A campaign to pardon nearly 50,000 men convicted under a 19th-century law for homosexual activity is being delayed amid concerns in Whitehall that a small number of paedophiles could be included.
But this is not about child abuse. This is about adults. We live in an age where the child has become something sacred. Mention that a paedophile could escape justice and all sensible debate about adults is smashed.
Campaigners who had hoped that the royal pardon for the Enigma codebreaker Alan Turing would be extended across the nation have been dismayed by a warning from Whitehall officials that a blanket pardon could benefit gay men who had sex with a minor…
Simon Hughes, the justice minister, will on Saturday pledge that the Liberal Democrats would demand in any future coalition negotiations that a pardon is offered to the estimated 49,000 men convicted of gross indecency before homosexuality was decriminalised in 1967. Hughes will say that the men, of whom 15,000 are believed to be alive, are “morally innocent” of any crime.
But they were not innocent of the crime. They were guilty. The problem was not their morals but their shagging. We are looking at an old law through today’s eyes. We are no more moral than we were back then. Today, just as then, the elite tell us what we should think. The current morally sound view is that homosexuality is ok; that gay marriage ok; that anyone who has a view against either is morally wrong and must be ridiculed and re-educated. We know this because the same groups that outlawed homosexuality now approve it and glow with pride as every gay couple tie the knot. You, the people, are no more free to decide for yourselves now than you were then. You are invited only to conform to the moral message.
If the elite are now so cool with homosexuality, that one man or woman’s body is their own, why isn’t prostitution decriminalised? I’m not talking about child prostitution and unwilling adults being transported by force for sex, which is rape, but a human being’s decision to sell their own body for sex and another’s to rent it? The same society that wants applause and hugs for being pro-gay marriage is so illiberal it wants to control your genitals and desires.
In 2014, the Northern Ireland Assembly voted to make paying for sex illegal. As Dr Brooke Magnanti (aka Belle de Jour) notes, “In the UK, sex work is technically legal – contrary to popular opinion (mainly influenced by cop dramas). Selling sex is not in itself illegal, but pimps, brothels and soliciting all are… With decriminalisation, by contrast, sex workers could work anywhere – even from their homes, or with other prostitutes – without breaking the law. Legalisation gives the employers the balance of power; decriminalisation returns rights to the workers, making them free agents.”
Good idea. But why it’s even being debated is odd in a liberal society. Why does the inclusion of money make sex between two consenting adults turn it into a matter for the State? It’s not as if it’s taxable income, although the punter could write it off as “sundries”.
On February 15, the Daily Express reported:
ANONYMOUS called on their supporters to tonight march on the homes of “elite paedophiles” in the UK who they claim “tortured and murdered children for entertainment”.
Operation Death Eaters has exposed a club that has existed for many years.
“A club of elite paedophiles that have been torturing and murdering children for their own joy and entertainment. These are people in positions of trust and authority, they are raping and torturing children.”
Anonymous told supporters who wanted to join the protest to gather outside Liverpool Street Underground station at 6pm tonight. They claimed that their demonstration would strike the same fear into the “hearts” of the ‘death eaters’ as their alleged victims felt.
Who needs evidence and barriers to guilt proven when you have a morally right group mindset? Just as the gays were no different from the peados; the VIPs gays are now all suspected child abusers.
But at least a lynching would be quick.
As the Mail reported on February 4, “The inquiry into Establishment child abuse could take up to four years to complete, its new chairman has revealed.”
Lowell Goddard, a High Court judge in New Zealand, said leading the probe was the ‘biggest challenge’ she has ever faced as she set out plans to start in April.
Anti-Semitism is now accepted. Jews got a good run after the war. But the USA is now once again rife with anti-Semitism.
The video below show UCLA’s student council examining Rachel Beyda’s appliction for a role on the university’s judicial board. She is good enough. She is qualified enough. But, you know, she’s a Jew.
Says one judge:
“I just worry about her affiliations… [she is] a Jewish student and very active in the Jewish community.”
Hay, it’s not anti-Semitism, dummy, it’s all about Izzzzzzzrael:
Fabienne Roth, Manjot Singh, Negeen Sadeghi-Movahed and Sofia Moreno Haq all raised concerns about confirming Beyda’s appointment to UCLA’s student government judicial board. Roth pointed to an example case from last May and argued that two students who had gone on sponsored trips to Israel should not have been allowed to vote on a resolution that involved targeting Israel with Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions measures.
Ah, the BDS movement that seeks to silence Israeli academics, censor individual academic freedom and so delegitimate the state of Israel.
It is pathetic. And it is often anti-Semitic in intent.
“My issue is, I’m going to be upfront about it, I think she’s pretty great. She’s smart, she like knows her stuff, she’s like probably going to be a really great lawyer. But I’m like not going to pretend this isn’t about conflict of interest. … It’s not her fault … but she’s part of a community that’s very invested in USAC (Undergraduate Students Association Council). … Even if she’s the right person for the job.”
“I’m not 100 percent comfortable. I don’t know why. I’ll go through her application again. I’ve been going through it constantly, but I definitely can see that she’s qualified for sure.”
Hmm. It’s a puzzler.
Ms. Beyda did not get the job.
Rachel Frenklak writes:
Rachel was asked to leave the room for council discussion. What followed was a disgusting 40 minutes of what can only be described as unequivocal anti-Semitism during which some of our council members resorted to some of the oldest accusations against Jews, including divided loyalties and dishonesty.
Update: after the futore, she got the job.
Did you know that ‘Jihadi John’ “suffered a head injury when he ran into a goal post as a child”? Mohammed Emwazi was a top chap until he nutted a metal goalpost when he was at his primary school, the St Mary Magdalene Church of England primary school in Maida Vale, West London. So says a former classmate of the wanted man.
We’ve already brought you the 10 reasons Emwazi became Jihadi John. And we now bring you reason number 11, as told by the Daily Mail:
And worryingly, in a school yearbook from when he was 10, Emwazi lists his favourite computer game as shooting game “Duke Nukem: Time To Kill” and his favourite book as “How To Kill A Monster” from the popular children’s Goosebumps series.
No. We did not make that up:
Blimey! Best not take any chances, readers. Burn those Goosebumps books, hide the knives and forks and if your local humble, sweet child starts playing Pacman – the game where a nutter chomps amphetamines and eats souls – get him a crate of alcopops, a bag of weed and send him out to play with the other kids.
PS: Goosebumps are written by RL Stine. He’s a Jew. You see, they really are to blame for everything.
You read about #thedress? You might have read about it on Buzzfeed. The site scooped got 27 million pageviews for #TheDress.How did they do it? Well, it’s not that easy. Paul Ford explains that what looks like a simple few posts of mindless chatter a is the result of years of trail, error, stacks of money and fun:
What I saw, as I looked through the voluminous BuzzFeed coverage of the dress, is an organization at the peak of a craft they’ve been honing since 2006. They are masters of the form they pioneered. If you think that’s bullshit, that’s fine — I think most things are bullshit too. But they didn’t just serendipitously figure out that blue dress. They created an organization that could identify that blue dress, document it, and capture the traffic. And the way they got that 25 million impressions, as far as I can tell from years of listening to their people, reading them, writing about them, and not working or writing for them, was something like: Build a happy-enough workplace where people could screw around and experiment with what works and doesn’t, and pay everyone some money.
This is not said as an endorsement of BuzzFeed. BuzzFeed is utterly deserving of insanely paranoid criticism just like anyone who makes money from your attention, including me. But it’s worth pointing out that their recipe for traffic seems to be: Hire tons of people; let them experiment, figure out how social media works, and repeat endlessly; with lots of snacks. Robots didn’t make this happen. It was a hint of magic, and some science.
Newspaper are playing catch-up…
So. Why did Mohammed Emwazi become Jihadi John? How does a “humble” schoolboy in a pink jumper became an alleged seriel killer and snuff movie star? This is what we’ve been told so far:
Mohammed went to St Mary Magdalene primary school in West London with Emwazi. He tells LBC radio:
“We were in the playground and Mohammed was running away from someone. He was just about to get into a fight and he was running away from someone. As he was running, another kid tried to block off his path. He had nowhere to go and he basically ran into the goalposts, hit his head and fell to the floor.”
After that he “was not the same”.
After secondary school I never had much contact with him. He was one year older than me. But my relationship with him – I told my mum, he was acting a bit weird. And my mum told me “If he’s acting a bit weird, stay away from him.”
Spelling Emwazi was annoying:
Another former classmate says:
“It was a Church of England school and he was the only Muslim in our class. One time we had an RE lesson and he got up and talked about his religion. He wrote Arabic on the board to show us what it looked like and how it went in the other direction. He showed us a religious text and spoke about what his religion was about. That was when we were eight or nine. He mentioned fasting. His English wasn’t very good throughout primary school. He could only say a few words at first – like his name and where he was from.”
E.M.W… Oh, call me John.
A teacher who taught Emwazi at Quintin Kynaston school in Queens Park, London, a decade ago tells BBC Two’s Newsnight Emwazi had had therapy for his anger issues:
“We’d find that he’d get very angry and worked up and it would take him a long time to calm himself down, so we did a lot of work as a school to help him with his anger and to control his emotions. It seemed to work. He had a lot of respect for all of the work that had been done for him at our school. He didn’t come from a troubled background. He didn’t leave school with no qualifications. He had every chance of doing well. I just can’t believe he’d do that.”
MI5 hate animals:
Emwazi exhanged meails with Cage, which campaigns against “state policies developed as part of the War on Terror”. Emwazi says he was questioned by a British official at Amsterdam’s Schipol Airport after trying to visit Tanzania under the name Muhammad ibn Muazzam. He was going on ‘safari’. He wrote:
“He knew everything about me; where I lived, what I did, the people I hanged around with. He also believed that I was lying [about the holiday in Tanzania] and I wanted to go to Somalia. Then he made a face and said, ‘I am going out of the cell now and by the time I come back, I want you to think about what do you want to say to us’. I said to him that before you go out you have to tell me that what you want from me. He said that he wanted the truth. I said, ‘Bloody hell! I just told you what was our plan and where were we [are] going and you still think that I am lying. What do you want from us?’ He pointed his finger at me and said to me, ‘Don’t try to play smart and lie on my face. Don’t try to fool me. YOU WANTED TO GO TO SOMALIA’.”
According to Cage, Emwazi blamed UK intelligence services for being prevented from traelling to Kuwait to meet his true love. He wrote:
“I had a job waiting for me and marriage to get started. But know [sic] I feel like a prisoner, only not in a cage, in London. A person in-prisoned [sic] and controlled by security service men, stopping me from living my new life in my birthplace, and my country, Kuwait.”
What we do know is that it has nothing to do with free will.
In the USA, a man who agreed to buy $20 worth of marijuana for a stranger in exchange for a $5 finder’s fee has been arrested. The $5 was a marked note. The deal was a police sting:
“Six months later, a jury found him guilty of distribution of a schedule I substance (marijuana). Three months after that, a judge sentenced him to life imprisonment with hard labor, without the benefit of parole.”
On the upside, he was desperately poor, homeless and jobless…
WE know that The man known as Jihadi John is one Mohammed Emwazi. Lest you be unable to muster your own thoughts on the man who accused of murdering seven foreign hostages, other have spoken.
Asim Qureshi, a director with British advocacy group CAGE,. says said Mohammed Emwazi “became disenfranchised and turned to violence” as a result of a “culture of abuse” by Britain’s security services.”
As Brendan O’Neill replies:
“The idea that harassment or hardship or anger about Western intervention can turn Muslims into beheaders is just racist. Do these people have no self-control? Do they lack autonomy and agency? Are they animals that can be trained / warped by their masters? That’s the implication.”
Speaking of the man, believed to have beheaded at least seven western hostages for the Islamic State, Mr Qureshi said Emwazi “would have never have hurt a single person”.
Mr Qureshi adds:
“You might be surprised to know that the Mohammed that I knew was extremely kind, extremely gentle, extremely soft spoken, was the most humble young person that I knew.”
Bit patronising. And, no, we’re not. Osama bin Laden was an Arsenal fan who holidayed in Sweden with his family. Adolf Hitler always did the dishes with a smile. There is not a single account of the cheeky young Josef Mengele ripping dolls’ heads off.
“We now have evidence that there are several young Britons whose lives were not only ruined by security agencies, but who became disenfranchised and turned to violence because of British counter-terrorism policies coupled with long standing grievances over Western foreign policy. This case should trigger thinking about British domestic and foreign policy. What risk assessments, if any, have been made about British counter-terrorism policy and the key part it plays in radicalising individuals? How have the security services been allowed to get away with abusing British citizens without redress? Why are the long-standing grievances over Western interventions in the Muslim world been ignored?”
Mohammed Emwazi was groomed by the West?
“Oh, get over yourself”…
Bethany Haines, daughter of the murdered British aid worker David Haines:
“I think all the families will feel closure and relief once there’s a bullet between his eyes.”
“It saddens me, his [Emwazi’s] continued hatred. He felt wronged, now we hate him — now that just prolongs the hatred. We need to end it. As a mum I forgive him. You know, the whole thing is tragic — an ongoing tragedy.”
Charlie Hebdo now has a print run of 2.5m. The Daily Telegraph, Daily Express and other newspapers whose journalists are undervalued and underpaid (surely content providers – ed) may worry that sackings and short contracts will be escalated to more drastic staff-cutting profits-raising measures.
But the problem is that Charlie Hebdo can’t get the staff.
By now the faces are familiar. Shamima Begum and Amira Abase, 15, and Kadiza Sultana, 16, all from London, travelled to Istanbul on 17 February to join Islamic State. A source says the teens made it to the Turkey-Islamic State border and “Abu Ali with his men received them on the other side.”
Who he? He is the “Emir of ISIS””
“No one [dares to] speaks to him. He opens or closes the route whenever he wants. And he does whatever he wants to do. The Ali Muntar [local district] borders are in fact not under Turkey’s control – Abu Ali runs the town.”
So, farewell. Kadiza Sultana might be more nuts than fruit as her name suggests, but she’s 16 and old enough to make her own choices. The other two are close enough to walk, talk and board a flight on their own.
These girls want to bring Civilisation to it’s knees. Well, so the West’s leaders keep telling us as the harp on about the ISIS “death cult”. But unless the girls are hit by a bomb dropped from high, high in the skies, if they face any enemy at all it will be the Kurds, on whose shoulders saving the West from barbarism rests. No pressure.
Mary Wakefield wonders what made three teenage girls do it?
Let your outrage subside and it’s pitifully easy to see what draws these idiots to Islamism. It’s not evil, or any inherent flaw, but just a simple set of ordinary influences which combine to create catastrophe.
For a child to choose religious orthodoxy may seem sinister — aren’t teens supposed to want freedom? — but look again and it’s just the usual rebellion against a parent. These girls and others like them are usually second or third-generation Brits. Their parents have assimilated, hoped their children would follow suit, so they rebel by becoming Islamists. The Dutch academic Ian Buruma spotted the trend a decade ago in a book investigating the assassination (by an Islamist) of the film-maker Theo van Gogh. He said: ‘The main perpetrators of violence in the name of religion in Europe are not, on the whole, the original guest workers or refugees… it is their children born in Europe who are vulnerable to a modern, violent, revolutionary creed.’
The more you tell the kids not to do it, the more they rebel. So:
Ban the veil. ‘Well, screw you, I’ll wear the veil.’
Don’t stay up to late listening to jihadi anti-music. ‘Sod you, dadd-io, I’ll stay up all night shagging a jihadi.’
Watch out for paedophiles. ‘Ha! I’m gonna marry a middle-aged man.’
Hurry home. ‘Ha. I’m off. So long, losers. See you in Hell.’
Most normal 15-year-old girls are popping with righteous indignation, desperately seeking a cause. British schoolgirls of a secular sort find their vocation defending seal pups and abandoned dogs. But for a Muslim schoolgirl, already Islamo-curious, there’s a cause waiting in the wings — and it’s a cause that understands their language.
Isis may seem like bullies to us, but in the skewed light of a smartphone they appear as underdogs, a revolutionary brave brigade taking on the big bad West. Teens don’t sit and watch the news at ten, they pick it up piecemeal on social media. All three of the recent runaways followed countless jihadis online. On Twitter and Instagram, in their own carefully curated feeds, these no-hoper Isis yobs seem not only justified but cool, almost boyband. One Direction — east.
As the three turn their back on enlightenment, feminism, equality, tolerance, freedom, liberty, music and a decent salt beef sandwhich, we saw one of the girl’s fathers. He was holding a teddy on the news. His little girl had left the snuggles and the dolls to watch public executions, shag armed speed-freaks on demand and avoid offending any of the laws of that land lest she be burned alive in a cage.
Then we noticed that the teddy was wearing a Chelsea kit.
Had Chelsea radicalised the teenage girls? Because, you know that all football fans are suspected racists, possibly Nazis? Can we blame Chelsea? Can we blame anyone? The girls have been led astray. They don’t know what they’re doing. They are easily impressionable. Sure, they are turned on by stonings, public beatings, rape, murdering homosexuals and not have to worry if stating a desire to see all Jews killed is misinterpreted as anti-Zionism and some Western liberal’s blather about Israel. Maybe they missed all those videos and news bulletins about the rape, racism and the murder? They heard that you get a free teddy and that Chelsea was the official national team.
…there’s a strong case to be made that fleeing abroad in search of Isis is simply a severe case of teen rebellion. Much, in fact, like the time, aged 15, when I pierced my nose and dyed my hair a sort of toxic cyan shade, imagining myself to look like a sexy mermaid, like Kate from The B52s, but instead resembling the Cookie Monster. I was a complete tit for almost all of the 1980s. The Nineties and Noughties were only marginally better. But still, I am lost for ideas on how we greet young teen rebels who hope to return here after mixing with Isis…
I’d go as far as to say you shouldn’t be allowed back into the country ever, when surely there are dozens of other bloodier, more depressing places that suit your lifestyle choice better. However, I’ve asked my liberal friends what we should do and they all wring their hands and say after some mumbling, “Nothing.” So give me a call when you’re bored with all the stoning, crucifying and beheading. I’ll meet you at Heathrow Arrivals with your teddy.
Which we will then tear limb from limb…
Home town: London.