We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.
HERE are some particularly interesting examples of VHS box art in the action genre. And by “interesting” I mean “utterly insane”. These covers represent the perfect synergy of over-the-roof subject matter in the hands of unskilled mental patients. The words “quality control” and “subtlety” simply weren’t a part of the vocabulary of VHS cover artists…. And that’s why we love them so.
Raw Force (1982)
Aside from the three apostrophes that have no business being there, this VHS cover is about as good as it gets. You simply can’t top Kung Fu Zombie Cannibals….. okay, maybe if they had lightsabers
IN around 1910, British Intelligence noted that Michael Collins ”Will Stop at Nothing”.
Michael Collins, Chief of I.R.A. & organizer of all ambushes and murders, eyes dark & sharp. Often wears the disguise of a Priest. He sometimes wears a black moustache, which is false, and often changed for another colour. He has been known to travel as a nun. Collins, who will stop at nothing, is an expert shot.
REGULAR Anorak readers will know that we are always on the look out for interesting glamour model photos, ones featuring pouting lovelies is ridiculous situations, such as hiding behind packets of peanuts, selling chips, eating Hot Buffalo Wings, working the margarine, sexing up car parts, eroticising propane, and doing wonders for central heating.
In this photo from December 14, 1971, Carolyn Moore, the current Miss Great Britain, of Nantwich is (and this the Press Association blurb) “wearing a bikini to greet Santa Claus… she wonders how the kindly old gentleman will enter her home. The fireplace is blocked by a gas fire. At Least Carolyn won’t be catching a cold.”
CHASE High School in Westcliff, Essex, is offering students ‘man days’. An Ofsted inspection found achievement among male students was “inadequate”. Victoria Overy, head teacher, says this is down to male students lacking a “positive male role model at home”. This lack of manliness has created a “barrier” to the boys’ learning. So. There are to be “man days”. These will teach the feckless lads how to be manly. They will taught things like – get this - “asking girls out and fine dining etiquette“. It’s the kind of useful stuff that will help them get cracking scores in their GCSEs and impress the female teachers.
THERE’S been an incident at London’s Apollo Theatre. The news media goes into overdrive.
The Times says:
Scores of theatre-goers have been injured after part of a balcony collapsed during a performance at the Apollo theatre in London’s West End. Members of the audience reported creaking noises followed by a crash as the balcony fell. People were seen being escorted from the theatre, on Shaftesbury Avenue, some of them bleeding and all plastered with dust.
London Ambulance said that about 81 people had been hurt, seven of them seriously.
FREEDOM of Speech is under attack on your student campuses. The London School of Economics (LSE) banned Chris Moos and Abhishek Phandis, of the student Atheist, Secularist and Humanist Society (LSEASH), from wearing Jesus and Mo cartooons at the SU Freshers’ Fair on 3 October.
It’s not the Islamofascists and funny, dangerous foreigners eroding our free speech; it’s us.
But it’s all about equality, isn’t it? Only, if everyone gets to be equal, who gets to be free?
The University of Birmingham’s code of practice on freedom of speech on campus is long. A nine-page list of codes for being free and saying what you want in public. Because free speech needs a lot of explaining when it’s not free.
The University of Bolton actually wants students to debate what can be talked about before any event:
Anyone involved in organising a meeting or other activity, or processing a room booking should consider whether there is a possibility that the speaker may not be able to enter or leave the building safely and/or have the freedom within the law to deliver their speech; or that a breach of the civil or criminal law may be committed. The following is an indicative list of circumstances which might give rise to a reasonable apprehension that disruption or disorder may occur.
You know, the kind of things students might want to talk about are only allowed to be talked about with official approval lest the sensitive be upset. This is great:
(a) where the subject-matter of the meeting or activity includes in whole or in part Animal experimentation Immigration and nationality policy The supposed superiority or otherwise of racial/ethnic/religious groupings Blood sports Genocide A current or recent war (or revolution) Sexual abuse of children and paedophilia Abortion Drugs policy Terrorism Other local or national controversial matters
(b) when the guest or visiting speaker includes Any current Member of the House of Commons or Lords A present or former representative of any political party which has put forward candidates at a British or Irish Parliament election in the last 20 years Any member of the British or an overseas Royal family Any diplomat or the representative of a foreign power Any person who has previously been prevented from delivering a speech or whose presence has threatened a breach of the peace at the University or any other Higher Education Institution
(c) where the subject matter might be considered to be of a blasphemous (3) nature (not just in respect of Christianity), obscene or defamatory. This list is provided for guidance and is not intended to be exhaustive. If there is any doubt whether the Code applies, the guidance of the University Secretary and Clerk to the Governors should be sought.
Bolton then explains: “‘Blasphemy’ is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as ‘irreverent talk about God or sacred things’.”
And get this caveat to free speech from Exeter University:
The University expects students, staff, governors, the Students’ Guild and visitors to ensure freedom of speech within the law is assured. Whilst there is no legal prohibition on offending others, the University nevertheless believes that discussion that is open and honest can take place only if offensive or provocative action and language is avoided.
Talk about anything you like. But you must not offend anyone.
The LSE Code of Free Speech includes the gem: “The Conference and Events Office will normally screen bookings from within and outside of the School.”
Students, Give up now. Ideas are set in stone. Forget that speech is how we communicate ideas – both good and bad; how we shape lives; and just stick to the talking about the things the officials approve of. What ideas can be discussed has been decided upon. Free speech means freedom not only for the thoughts you approve of but those you despise. Don’t ban it. It just makes you look weak.
Last year, we noted that the LSEASH wanted to feature a picture of Muslim Prophet Mohammed and Jesus Christ “sitting in a pub having a pint” on its group Facebook page. The LSE Student Union was upset enough to call an “emergency meeting”.
Watch This Video Of Islamists In London Cheering Narcissistic Michael Adebolajo – But Don’t Be Afraid
ONE of Lee Rigby’s killer Michael Adebolajo addressed a crowd by London’s Harrow Central Mosque on the eighty anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.
Adebolajo: “Do not be scared of the filthy kuffar [non-believers]. They are pigs.”
MICHAEL Adebolajo murdered Lee Rigby. This is the police video:
He talks in a pastiche of a Muslim cleric, pausing as if deep in thought; a weak, impressionable mind’s play on what he sees as intelligence. “The barracks that is in Woolwich,” he says, deliberately using more words than necessary. He looks up when he says “vicinity”, as if seeking signs that the policeman is impressed with the choice of words and phrasing.
Lee Rigby: Squeamish Michael Adebolajo And Michael Adebowale Used Islam’s Hate To Murder An Innocent Man
LEE Rigby’s killers Michael Adebolajo, 29, and Michael Adebowale, 22, have been found guilty of murder.
Photo: Rebecca Rigby (second left), the wife of Fusilier Lee Rigby, with his stepfather Ian Rigby (far right), as a statement is read out by Detective Inspector Pete Sparks (second right) after Michael Adebolajo and Michael Adebowale were found guilty of his murder.
What says the papers?
The Times: “Muslim converts guilty of murdering Fusilier Lee Rigby”
JUXTAPOSITION of the day appears on The Northern Echo’s front page. “Power mad” NPower are robbing the poor. Who can help them? Why, it’s Robin Hood. Huzzah!
THE current top bid for a George Zimmerman original painting is US $97,700.00. That’s the same Zimmerman who shot dead Trayvon Martin, the unarmed black teenager. And walked free from court. A jury acquitted him of second-degree murder and of manslaughter charges.
Now he’s famous.
YOUNG Soo Lee , the owner of a newsstand in Atlanta, and Thuy Nguyen of San Jose, Calif., each sold one of the two winning Mega Millions tickets, worth $636 million in all before taxes.
Nguyen earned $1 million, as per California state law. Lee could get nothing.
That seems incredibly unfair. Nguyen says he is “very lucky”. Lee might wonder why she gets to live in a poorer state than California and win less for her customer’s good fortune?
“I’m so excited and so happy now,” Soolee said. “I love my store and the customer now.”
That loved customer may care to give sweet Soo some money.
WHAT colour is Santa? In Holland Santa has a little black-face pal. But Santa is white. Why should this made-up character be white?
We searched Google images for Santa. This is what we got:
There is not a single black Santa in the first few pages of results.
FACE of the day: A three-month-old Sumatran tiger cub named “Bandar” reacts after being dunked in the tiger exhibit moat for a swimming test at the National Zoo in Washington. All cubs born at the zoo must take a swim test before being allowed to roam in the exhibit. Bandar passed his test.
Such fan at the zoo. In November, a zebra attacked a zookeeper. The same day an endangered gazelle ran headfirst into a wall. Dead. Rusty the red panda executed an escape. But after two weeks trying to hitch a ride to – “Hell! Where am I from?” – was soon back in his cage.
WHAT’S THE POINT in taking a look at 1970s sofas? Sure, it sounds like an antiquated and mundane topic on the surface, but sofas are a reflection of the culture. You can learn more about the 1970s by looking at its sofas than you can from a history textbook. Simply put, sofas are where humanity gathers. It’s where families spend most of their time together, where man and woman interface, where much of daily life takes place.
TODAY, Keith Richards is 70 years old! We have to admire him, seeing as he’s about 1% blood and the rest is made up of cigarettes, drugs and urinal cakes.
The NME placed Keef on top of their list of rock stars most likely to die in 1973 and yet, somehow, he’s proven them all wrong by still being alive. We assume.
Of course, with such celebrations, most people would compile a list of Keef’s most scandalous moments, or maybe he’s greatest songs. They may even nerdgasm over his Top 10 Riffs.
However, those people are boring.
We’re going to look at ten interesting things that Keith Richards is older than. Yes, he may have looked like he was going to die on numerous occasions, but here he is, older than…
1. The atomic bomb, first detonated in 1945.
WHAT do you see when you view the Christmas lights in Penzance, Cornwall.
Some see Christmas puddings.
Others see leopard print underwear dangling from a washing line.
IS this the world’s worst civic Christmas tree? You can see the wonder in Geelong, Australia.
Local mayor Darryn Lyons said the $30,000 tree (£16,500, US$27,000) is a “disgrace”. He then boasted: ”It’s the worst Christmas tree in the world.”
That’s some claim. But Australians love to talk big.
TO Joshua Brewster’s home in Pekin, Illinois. He’s told his one-time true love Amanda Pollard, 28, to pack her things and leave.
THERE have been so many awful, bowel shaking Christmas songs over the years, it’s hard to narrow them down. The number of holiday polka tracks alone is terrifying. So, let’s take it slow. Here are five from the bottom of the barrel – proceed at your own risk.
“Trim Your Tree” by Jimmy Butler (1954)
“I’m gonna bring along my hatchet,
My beautiful Christmas balls,
I’ll sprinkle my snow all on your tree,
Hang a mistletoe on your walls.”
I’m all for playful wordplay, but the imagery ol’ Jimmy is conjuring up is a tad graphic for holiday music. Call me a prude, but I could do without the mental image of Mr. Butler sprinkling his snow. I’m just funny that way.
AMANDA Knox is on trial for the 2007 murder of British student Meredith Kercher. Knox is 26. She seems older.
Knox and her then lover Raffaele Sollecito were convicted of murdering Kercher in 2009. In 2011, they were acquitted. In March 2013, Italy’s highest court overturned both their acquittals.
In its March ruling, Italy’s supreme court definitively upheld her conviction and three-year sentence for slandering bar owner Patrick Lumumba.
DO you listen to the radio? Only at work or when there’s a football match on when you’re driving? Well, you won’t be forced into a digital switchover, as happened with television, because so few people actually bother listening to the radio that it barely matters.
It seems, such is the radio malaise, that everyone is still using analogue devices. Or the internet, of course.
MARKS & Spencer will not longer wrap girls’ toys in pink and boys’ toys in black and blue. By spring 2014, packaging on toys will be gender neutral.
The pop-up fire station will no longer advertised as: “This pop up fire station is perfect for little fire men everywhere.” The joke book will not vow to “keep you ahead of the girls”. ”Little Miss Arty” will become the more neutral “Poppy and Blue”.
One day things like this will be cultural curiosities: