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News | Anorak - Part 35

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We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.

Transfer balls: Manchester United have £144m for Neymar (and anyone else)

Transfer balls: The Daily Telegraph says Manchester Untied are ready to splurge £143,9m on Neymar.

So incredible is the story that Neymar appears to point to it, laughing:

neymar manchester united

 

The paper reports:

It would be a staggering and eye-watering deal

Posted: 8th, December 2015 | In: Back pages, manchester united, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


How to make a vagina capable of orgasm from a penis and testicles (video)

This video created by the European Society of Urology affords us an insight into male-to-female gender surgery. the process uses the penis and testicles to construct a vagina – one able to orgasm. The penis’s tip creates a neoclitoris. …

Posted: 8th, December 2015 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Swansea City balls: Gary Monk sacked and Brendan Rodgers returns

Farewell, Gary Monk, manager of Swansea City, soon to be the Swans’ ex-manager. The papers all agree that the affable young Englishman is to be replaced by former Liverpool manager Brendan Rodgers.

The Daily Express says Rodgers return to Swansea

Posted: 8th, December 2015 | In: Back pages, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United go for Ancelotti (who fishes for Arsenal and Chelsea)

carlo man unitedCAROLO Ancelotti is vying with Pep Guardiola for the Manchester United job. The Sun leads with “CARLO SEES RED – I’d love to be boss of United.”

The Sun shows Ancelotti looking huge and vibrant, massive, hulking presence over Louis …

Posted: 8th, December 2015 | In: Back pages, manchester united, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Rare meat can kill

“RARE MEAT COULD KILL.” So declares the Sun via its front page. How rare? This rare?

 

fish meat kills

 

The Sun says “deadly superbugs” might be alive in your meaty dinner. These bugs are “drug-resistant superbugs”, maybe. But worry ye not. …

Posted: 8th, December 2015 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United: Ferguson fears Liverpool boss Klopp and forgets himself

Sir Alex Ferguson says he’s worried at the impact Jurgen Klopp will have at Liverpool. The former Manchester United manager says of Klopp:

“I’m worried about him because the one thing United don’t want is Liverpool to get above us. 

Posted: 7th, December 2015 | In: Back pages, Liverpool, manchester united, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Calais crisis: Daily Mail readers flock to The Jungle for opening of new Pizza Express

The Jungle

 

Have you seen the new “mini city” in France? Called The ‘Jungle’, the city features: a dozen shops, libraries, restaurants, makeshift hotels, a sculpture garden, a dome-shaped theatre, an Eritrean night-club, a playground, a book shop named Jungle Books …

Posted: 7th, December 2015 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chelsea lose to Bournemouth in Russian billionaire battle

Yesterday Bournemouth beat Chelsea 0-1 at Stamford Bridge. It was cracking result for the south coast club playing for the first time in the Premier League.

But in the Times, Rory Smith has a word to the wise:

 …

Posted: 7th, December 2015 | In: Back pages, Broadsheets, Chelsea, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Muhaydin Mire: knife jihad in London, cowards and proper Muslims with mobile phones

Muhaydin MireMuhaydin Mire waves a long-bladed box cutter in Leytonstone Tube Station, London, allegedly. Reports say he’s yelling “This is for Syria”, although which part of that benighted country is unclear.

Mire, 29,  of Sansom Road, east London, is due to …

Posted: 7th, December 2015 | In: News, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chelsea balls: Jose Mourinho sacked by Leicester (maybe)

Mourinho outMore Jose Mourinho sacking news now. The Times leads with a story that the Chelsea boss is “in last chance” to save his job.

Matt Hughes says José Mourinho has been told that “he must guide Chelsea into the knockout …

Posted: 7th, December 2015 | In: Broadsheets, Chelsea, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


ITV fail: broadcaster confuses Ainsley Harriott with Lenny Henry

ainsley henry

 

This week we learnt that TV chef Ainsley Harriott is also Lenny Henry. Who knew? ITV did. As Henry received his knighthood from Her Majesty, the broadcaster showed footage of the one-man double-act’s career:

Posted: 6th, December 2015 | In: Celebrities, News, TV & Radio | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


After San Bernardino: victim Nicholas Thalasinos was asking for it

massacre california jews

 

Linda Stasi has news on the massacre at a social services center in San Bernardino, California. She shines a narrow beam of light on one of the 13 people murdered: Nicholas Thalasinos.

They were two hate-filled, bigoted municipal employees

Posted: 6th, December 2015 | In: Key Posts, News | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


‘On the brink’ at Chelsea: Jose Mourinho sacked by teatime

When does ‘the brink’ become ‘the fall’? The Telegraph says Jose Mourinho is “on the brink” of leaving Chelsea following the Blues’ 0-1 defeat to the mighty Bournemouth.

Mourinho sacked

 

Mourinho may well scoff at the report. After all, he has …

Posted: 6th, December 2015 | In: Chelsea, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


How Neville Neville got his name (and what it means for Gary)

In a very good article on former Manchester United and England defender Gary Neville’s move to a top coaching role at Valencia, David Walsh shares an anecdote that shines a light on the former player’s stubborn will.

His late dad

Posted: 6th, December 2015 | In: News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United transfers: Harry Kane for £50m, Neymar and Guardiola

Manchester United transfer balls time.

The Sunday Times leads with news that Louis Van Gaal will remain in charge at Old Trafford even if United crash out of the Champions’ League.

But the paper’s Jonathan Northcroft adds that the club …

Posted: 6th, December 2015 | In: manchester united, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Arsenal: Joel Campbell has a huge hissy fit, slams doors and hates everyone

We love a good goal celebration. But we’re a tad worried for Joel Campbell, Arsenal’s Costa Rican striker.

Having scored for Arsenal against Sunderland in yesterday’s Premier Leaaue match, Campbell retrieved a baby’s dummy from somewhere inside his shorts and …

Posted: 6th, December 2015 | In: News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Crime: mother used Brillo pad to remove son’s ‘rock and roll’ make-up

other parents

 

Other Parent of the day is Coweta County’s Veridiana Pardo Meo Erbskorn, 47.

She’s been arrested after she allegedly scrubbed make-up from her 12-year-old son’s face with a steel-wool Brillo pad to help him pass rapidly though his “rock …

Posted: 6th, December 2015 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Creepy Christmas songs: Angels of Love

An incredibly creepy Christian kids song for Christmas. Linda Blair is away:

 …

Posted: 6th, December 2015 | In: Music, News, TV & Radio | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Injury balls: Sanchez and Cazorla defy the media experts and get well soon

wenger arsenal

 

The media loves to talk up an injury – and few places in football do injuries with more regularity than Arsenal. The Gunners’ midfielder Santi Cazorla is now injured. We have not been told how badly.

At his Friday …

Posted: 5th, December 2015 | In: Arsenal, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Cavani ‘joins’ Manchester United for £13m less than Arsenal paid

How much is PSG’s Edinson Cavani worth?

According to L’Equipe,Manchester United “have been told” they can sign the Paris St-Germain forward for £32m.

This odd story also appears in the Metro. It’s the newspaper that said Cavani …

Posted: 5th, December 2015 | In: Arsenal, manchester united, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Man caught having sex with camper van towbar

sex towbar cornwall

 

Shaggin’ wagons were mostly meant for two. But in Cornwall  a van enthusiast has been seen  using the towbar of a campervan to pleasure himself.

 

Jackie Walker, from Newquay, tells the Plymouth Herald:

“We had an

Posted: 5th, December 2015 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chelsea balls: Costa in London nightclub rage as Jose seethes in total silence

When is a riotous night out not a riotous night out? The Mail leads with news that “Chelsea stars Diego Costa, Ramires and Kenedy risked incurring the wrath of Jose Mourinho by partying into the early hours on Thursday morning …

Posted: 4th, December 2015 | In: Chelsea, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0