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THE Journal Star has caught up with Jacob Elliott. He was arrested in the war on free speech. The Mayor or Peoria, one Jim Ardis, was very upset at the fake Twitter account, @Peoriamayor. He called the police.
Rather than laugh at Mr Ardis and advise him to respond to the spoof blog with humour and smiles, the police thought he had made a good point. How very dare anyone mock the Mayor. You can mock Jesus, God, Mohammed and even George Clooney, but mocking the Mayor of Peoria is a step too far.
Three judges agreed.
Judge Kirk Schoebein signed off on a warrant seeking subscriber information from Twitter.
Judge Lisa Wilson approved a warrant for Comcast to find out where the person who used the Internet to access Twitter lived
Judge Kim Kelley signed the warrant to search the home of the alleged parodists.
Respect for the man and his office must be preserved.
WHEN eight-track tapes hit the shelves in the latter part of the Sixties, it was seen as a godsend. All of a sudden, you could listen to your music collection in your car, or out-and-about with the new boom-boxes. There were even rumors it would completely replace the vinyl record. Yet, just over a decade later, the humble cassette tape was able to drive it to extinction. Its heyday lasted from 1968-1975, and by 1980 the poor eight-track was in history’s dustbin, a sort-of laughable derelict from the Seventies.
So what happened? Here are 8 reasons for its untimely demise.
OTHER than a brief Capri pants fad during the early Sixties, women rarely wore pants in public. It was dresses and skirts only. Then the Women’s Liberation movement hit its stride in the Seventies, and the ladies started to get in on the pants action. Just as the miniskirt had been a proclamation of the youth culture, pants became a proclamation of gender equality. If men can wear hideous corduroy bell-bottoms, by God, the women can too!
ON Twitter @DickGraceless has produced the “Daily Mail timeline of shame, for your viewing and sharing pleasure”.
THE more specious the world record, the more Anorak appreciates it. So, to Walker Harnden, 19, from Pittsboro, North Carolina, who has whistled the highest note ever.
Harnden, a student of the oboe at The UNC School of the Arts in Winston-Salem, has had his whistle certified and posted by The Guinness Book of World Records, which reports:
The highest note whistled is a B7 (3951 Hz), which was achieved by Walker Harnden (USA) at the Hoad Recital Hall, University of North Carolina School of the Arts in Winston Salem, North Carolina, USA, on 7 November 2013. The “B7” note is the B just below the high C on a piano.
Anyone keen to best Harnden should know that he whistles “all the time,” up to four or five hours a day. A third of his waking day is spent whistling.
FLASHBACK to January 11, 1985: The Khat Man:
His cheek stuffed with khat, an artisan specializing in daggers and swords sits in his tiny booth at the old souk, or marketplace in ancient Sanaa, a city in North Yemen on Jan. 11, 1985 which hasn’t changed materially since the seventh century. Camel caravans and donkey carts are still in use and swords and daggers are worn by most men. (AP Photo/Aly Mahmoud)
For more on khat, see here.
THE claim is that garden centres lose £5,000 each by being forced to close on Easter Sunday. This is, of course, an intolerable imposition of Christian rules on a country that isn’t in fact very Christian any more.
However, it should be said that their claim doesn’t have quite as much power to it as they seem to think:
Garden centres want rules reviewed which force them to close on Easter Sunday, causing them to lose up to £75m in takings.
The Horticultural Trades Association (HTA) said trading rules, which force shops of more than 3,000 sq ft (280 sq m) to close on Easter Sunday and Christmas Day are old fashioned and should be reviewed, allowing families to enjoy garden centres for longer.
They also said the laws mean garden centres lose out on around £5,500 each by staying shut for the day.
Raoul Curtis-Machin of the HTA told BBC News: “That’s a potential economic boost to the country of up to £75m.”
It’s that economic boost to the country thing there that is wrong. It’s true that if those shops all stayed open and if they all sold £5,000 worth of gear then recorded GDP would change by £75 million. We would have £75 million more GDP recorded in the garden centre sector. However, just because garden centres are open on one extra day7 does not mean that shoppers are going to spend more in garden centres. We would expect at least some of that being spent to move from other days. Easter Monday takings, or Good Friday ones, might well fall as a result of being open on Easter Sunday.
And it’s also true that the total amount of what people spend on everything isn’t going to change as a result of people being able to buy aspidistras on Easter Sunday. What isn’t spent in garden centres will be spent in cafes, fish and chip shops, pubs, whatever.
Being open or not being open on Easter Sunday will really only change that portion of what we’re all going to spend anyway that goes to garden centres: and much of the extra turnover will be the movement of purchases at garden centres from one day to another. There won’t be any change in overall GDP as a result of their being able to open that one extra day.
All of this is nothing to do with whether they should be open on that day, whether we are being religiously sectarian in insisting upon these rules, but the argument they’re putting forward themselves just doesn’t really work.
KYRON Horman: Anorak’s look at the missing Portland, Oregon, boy in the news. Today we spot a message for Kyron’s step-mother Terry Horman on Facebook. An ‘Elizabeth Degroff-Crego’ wants Terri tortured sent to Hell:
WHAT do bigots wear? A branch of the German fashion label Thor Steinar has opened in Finchley, north London.
Hope Not Hate says the label is the “favoured brand of hardline right wingers in Germany”.
The JC notes that “the brand’s original logo resembles the insignia of the SS under Hitler”.
WE need to talk abut Khat. We’ll begin with Khat the cat, the three and a year-and-a-half-old pet who attacked his human hosts. He clawed the face of its owner’s sister, tore into the arms and legs of its owner’s mother and gashed the legs of its owner’s young brother.
The owner says: “He’s never been an aggressive cat, he’s never been mean, he just flipped.”
The British State would argue that Khat is a product of nominative determinism, the process by which your name explains your actions. It would argue that Khat has been driven mad by the drug that last month UK home secretary Theresa May said would be banned.
Why ban it? What is khat?
WHEN Jared Michael stood by the rumbling train track for a selfie, he took a kick in the chops from the conductor.
Frank filmed his idiot abroad selfie in Peru. He posted it on internet. Many wondered why?
OBITUARY of the day is from the Tampa Bay Times. Let’s all take a moment to remember the life of David W. Cummings, aka “Pervert” Dave:
Dave loved motorcycles, and riding with all of this brothers and sisters. He was an avid wood worker, loved animals and working with Paso…
AS two different people have now noted, Matt Yglesias and Matt Levine, Yahoo is now officially valued at less than nothing. Which, for a company that has a $40 billion price tag on the markets is a pretty strange thing to try and say. But it also happens to be true.
The conundrum is explained by the fact that there are really two different things here. One is the business that makes up Yahoo, the other the company that owns that business. And that company owns not just the business Yahoo but also good sized chunks of two other businesses, Yahoo Japan and Alibaba, a Chinese internet company (not unlike Amazon). If we take the value of Yahoo the company and subtract from it the value of the stake in Alibaba then we get a negative number. Take away the value of that stake in Yahoo Japan and it becomes even larger.
Manchester City Balls: £200,000 A Week Yaya Toure Says He Is Undervalued Because He’s A Black African
YAYA Toure, Manchester City’s midfield force of nature, tells the BBC’s Football Focus on BBC World News, that he would be held in higher regard were he not African:
“To be honest, proper recognition has only come from the fans. I don’t want to be hard and I don’t want to be negative, but I want to be honest.”
In 2013, Toure signed a £45m four-year deal at City. He earns well in excess of £200,000 a week. He said at the time:
“I will never forget how I have been treated here by the fans, the club and the owners and nothing would give me greater pleasure than to finish my career as a Manchester City player.”
MAYOR Jim Ardis of Peoria, Illinois, has no sense of humour. If you parody him on the internet, he will be upset.
Ilinois police raided a house suspected to be housing someone who was parodying Ardis on the Twitter account @Peoriamayor. The seven police officers on the raid found three people in the residence. They grabbed them all. They then visited two more housemates at their places of work, and brought them in for questioning.
Michelle Pratt, 27, was one alleged tweeter seized by the Peoria Police Department. She tells the Journal Star:
“They just asked me about the Twitter account, if I knew anything about it… They brought me in like I was a criminal. They said they had a search warrant and took all the electronic devices that had Internet access. They said there had been an Internet crime that occurred at this residence.”
Dan Snay Invents A New Way To Upset Parents On Social Media: Boasting Florida Teen Costs Parents A Mint
DANA Snay cost her father £80,000. When dear Dana realised her headmaster father had won an age-discrimination lawsuit against his former employer, the Miami-based Gulliver Preparatory School, she started to boast.
She told her Facebook friends:
“Mama and Papa Snay won the case against Gulliver. Gulliver is now officially paying for my vacation to Europe this summer. SUCK IT.”
1973: Arsenal Hooligans Ejected From The FA Cup Third-Fourth Place Match With Wolverhampton Wanderers
FLASHBACK to August 18, 1973:
At the short-lived annual FA Cup Third-fourth Place Match (mote here) between Arsenal and Wolverhampton Wanderers at the Gunners’ Highbury Stadium, a small group of ‘hooligans’ are escorted out of the ground by the Police prior to kick off.
It was all about the boots.
BACK in the Pre-Premier League days, the losing FA Cup semi-finalists competed to see which one of them qualified for a non-existent bronze medal and the other nothing. The match lasted just five years, played between 1970 and 1975.
Initially, the game was played at a neutral ground, lending it the aura of a real Cup Final. At the inaugural Cup, played one day before Chelsea and Leeds United contested the final at Wembley, Manchester United beat Watford 2-1 at Highbury. The crowd was 15,105.
Was that encouraging? Footballfansite has transcribed the Arsenal programme notes from that, which explain how the match came to happen:
THIS is the eleventh occasion we have staged a match for the Football Association on the eve of the F.A. Cup Final, and this time the fixture takes a new form. The idea of a match on this particular date on the football calendar first came about in 1954, it being felt that with people descending in thousands on London en route to Wembley the following day, many of them would welcome a game at which to spend the eve of the Final.
So, 16 years ago, England met Young England here on this corresponding night, and a crowd of 43,000 gave full justification to the experiment. The following year the title was changed to Old England v Young England (the old ‘uns cheered to a 5-0 victory by 38,000), but except for 1963 when the match was styled England v The Football League the fixture became permanently one between England and Young England. On five occasions it switched to Stamford bridge, but otherwise it remained at Highbury.
Inevitably what was basically a friendly representative match could not retain all its early novelty appeal, and after last season’s 0-0 draw at Stamford Bridge, watched by just over 18,000 spectators, the F.A. decided the time had come to change the style of the fixture. Among suggestions thrown up was a North v South match – that particular argument seems to have been going on among football fans since the game began! – but the idea to gain favour was to stage a “play-off” to decide third and fourth places between the two beaten F.A. Cup semi-finalists.
Tonight’s game is the first such fixture, and with it we have, in any case, a North v South clash, just as there will be another at Wembley tomorrow between Leeds United and Chelsea. Whether this becomes a regular fixture will, presumably, how well the fans turn out to support it……
One year on and Stoke took on Everton. To further entice paying punters, the game was played one day before Arsenal played Liverpool on May 8. The footy-starved neutral and fans of the two finalists would surely lap it up. Well, that was the plan. But only 5,031 turned watched the game at Selhurst Park.
IN 1978, the Associated Press met Kellie Everts, the Miss Nude Universe who became as a striptease artist performing on a Washington stage because “God told her to quiet her job as a social worker and return to the stage to perform her strip act”.
The woman born Rasa von Werder was stripping for Jesus.
And isn’t stripping another kind of social work?
A WHILE back, we covered some pretty peculiar games; however, there still remain board game curiosities which cry out for your attention. It seems there was no limit to the imagination (and debilitating insanity) of board game manufacturers. For every winner (i.e. Monopoly, Risk, Candyland) there were a hundred losers. Here’s a look at some of those losers.
No doubt, this board game is a staple in the NSA break rooms. “Video Village” has such a nice sound for a mass surveillance system; much better than London’s “Ring of Steel”. How fitting that it shows a woman behind bars.