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News | Anorak - Part 35

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We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.

Sarah Vine sympathies with online attacks on Gordon Ramsay’s ‘promiscuous’ daughters

gordon ramsay children

 

For two days the Daily Mail has published this photograph of TV chef Gordon Ramsay’s four children: Jack, 16, Matilda, 14, Holly, 16, and Megan, 17. It was twins Jack and Holly’s joint 16th birthday party, and the family …

Posted: 2nd, December 2015 | In: Celebrities, Key Posts, News, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Caffeine-Use Disorder is as real as your hallucinations

coffee men

 

Scare story of the day is found in the Daily Mail (natch.), wherein we learn of “caffeine-use disorder”.

Sophie Freeman asks:

But how do you know when your love of coffee has gone too far?

When you’re on a …

Posted: 2nd, December 2015 | In: News, Tabloids, The Consumer | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Judge allowed defendant to be accompanied by his cat in court

cat in court

 

To Chelmsford Crown Crown, Essex, where defendant Aiden Wiltshire, 72, is in the dock. To his side is his cat Taylor, perched in a wheeled shopping trolley.

ITV says Mr Wiltshire “continually stroked” his cat.

Wiltshire’s lawyer, Gavin Burrell …

Posted: 2nd, December 2015 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Arsenal: Alexis Sanchez performs hokey cokey to prove his fitness

sanchez injured

 

How injured is Arsenal’s Alexis Sanchez?

He’s IN!

The Mirror: “Sanchez has handed Arsenal a huge boost ahead of Christmas the New Year.”

He’s OUT!

The Sun: “Arsene Wenger fears Alexis Sanchez may miss the festive programme.”

He’s SHAKING

Posted: 2nd, December 2015 | In: Arsenal, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Tabloids keep ISIS guessing when bombing raids will begin

war

 

When will Britain begin bombing Islamic State, formerly “so-called Islamic State”? The Mail says it’s 48 hours. The Sun says it’s 36 hours.

Jeremy Corbyn says ‘NEVER!”

Good old, Jezza. Loose lips sink ships, and all that.

 …

Posted: 1st, December 2015 | In: News | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Court rules a BMW motorbike will not give you a 2-day erection

 

Can a BMW give you a two-day erection? The Marin Independent Journal learns the truth:

Wolf claimed he suffered an acute case of priapism – a painfully prolonged erection — after riding his 1993 BMW motorcycle for two hours.

Posted: 1st, December 2015 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Driver who killed teenager didn’t have a licence because he’s blind

blind driver

 

Hector Arroyo, 68, called police to tell hem he’d hit a deer while her was out driving. He had;’t. He’d hit and killed 13-year-old Helina Dirba.

Arroyo told Detective James Maltby he didn’t stop because he didn’t have a …

Posted: 1st, December 2015 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Arsenal balls: the media crisis that isn’t

sanchez injured

 

Arsenal have a lot of players injured. But some how they’ve managed to give themselves a fighting chance of progressing in the Champions’ League and sit just two points from the Premier League summit.

No disaster, then.

But to …

Posted: 1st, December 2015 | In: Arsenal, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Chelsea in for Manchester United’s Thomas Muller

The Mirror says Chelsea have joined the hunt for Bayern Munich’s Thomas Muller. In “Muller In.. Mauler Out”, the paper says the German will replace Diego Costa, the Blues’ charmless striker.

According to Darren Lewis, Chelsea face a challenge from …

Posted: 1st, December 2015 | In: Chelsea, manchester united, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Listen to Manchester’s Beetham Tower groan and hum in the wind

If you listen you can hear Manchester’s Beetham Tower grown in the wind.

 

Posted: 30th, November 2015 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Tristram Hunt ‏MP ‘Beyond Excited” Stoke to get a Pizza Express

Labour MP Tristram Hunt says he is “Beyond Excited’ to learn that Stoke is to get a branch of the Pizza Express restaurant chain.

BEYOND EXCITED!

 

Tristram Hunt pizza expres

 

Tristram Hunt is not a parody –  why would anyone bother to …

Posted: 30th, November 2015 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Clickbait football: Manchester United and the ‘Jamie Vardy’ reject

In Clickbait Football, the Metro has news on the Manchester United “reject” who could have been Louis Van Gaal’s Jamie Vardy.

The paper’s headline declares:

Stats: Man United reject proving he could’ve been LvG’s Vardy, he’s smashing records in Europe

Posted: 30th, November 2015 | In: manchester united, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Chelsea balls: Costa tosses his pink toys and misses Mourinho

Diego Costa is more entertaining off the pitch than on it. The Chelsea striker “threw his substitute bib at Jose Mourinho and his toys out of the pram” after being dropped, says the Mirror  in “Diddums Diego”.

The Independent agrees …

Posted: 30th, November 2015 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Leicester City striker Jamie Vardy gets the Hollywood movie treatment

vardy the sun

 

Jamie Vardy, Leicester City’s can’t-stop-scoring striker, is to star in a Hollywood film, says the Sun. Well, not him, but an actor playing the 28-year-old footballer.

And who might that actor be? Well, the Sun lines up Robert …

Posted: 30th, November 2015 | In: Celebrities, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Princess Charlotte photos: three eyes, a comb-over and everything sponsored

Princess_Charlotte 111

 

Pictures of Princess Charlotte occupy the front pages of the Mail, TelegraphMirror and Express.

The Mirror says the child’s hair  is “light brown – somewhere between  the colour of Kate’s darks locks and William’s blond …

Posted: 30th, November 2015 | In: Key Posts, News, Royal Family | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Premier League footballer in Sun schoolgirl stunna sexting sensation

Which part of this Sun headline excites you the most?

Premier league star meets uniformed schoolgirl in street… then sends pics of his manhood just hours later

If it’s the part of the uniformed schoolgirl, then you might wonder if …

Posted: 29th, November 2015 | In: News, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Liverpool in for 7 Dortmund players (and one plays for Manchester United)

The Metro reports Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp as having said “nothing stopping Liverpool grabbing Marco Reus and Mats Hummels”.

Is that really what he said? Because last January the Metro reported that Reus had agreed to join Real Madrid – …

Posted: 29th, November 2015 | In: Liverpool, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


ISIS and the nanny State agree: smoking is punishable by death

Can we relate to ISIS? Yes, says Brendan O’Neill, we can because they are like the worst of us.

 

 

He notes:

ISIS hates everything about the West. Except the nanny state. It loves that. (Top: ISIS anti-smoking

Posted: 29th, November 2015 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Record Thief Returns Stolen Stone Roses LP After Finding God

record thief note

 

A born-again Christian regrets stealing vinyl from Out On The Floor Records in London’s Camden Town 10 years ago. The thief realised that his religion looks unkindly on stealing, so he parcelled up the goods and sent them …

Posted: 29th, November 2015 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Why are 27 nail-studded baseball bats tied to phone polls in San Francisco?

In San Francisco, police have found 27 baseball bats tied to poles. The bats are studded with nails. Is insurrection in the air?

 

basbeball bat nails sf

 

 

Sgt. Michael Andraychak says it’s “very strange”.

 

bat sf 1

 

Is San Francisco gearing up …

Posted: 29th, November 2015 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Ronaldo in the ‘clear’ for Manchester United

Manchester United have been “ion red alert” for Cristiano Ronaldo ever since the player they bought from Lisbon said he dreamt of playing for Real Madrid and duly left the club.

Today the Metro delivers yet another Ronald-to-United story:

 …

Posted: 28th, November 2015 | In: manchester united, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Cynthia Robinson (1944 – 2015)

Cynthia Robinson has died of cancer. The musician played trumpet with Sly And The Family Stone Roots drummer Questlove salutes her life:

… she wasn’t just a screaming cheerleading foil to Sly & Freddie’s gospel vocals.

Posted: 28th, November 2015 | In: Celebrities, Music, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Dog gets stick stuck in his urethra (photos)

door uretha

 

Basil the elderly Jack Russell was out walking in Chapel Hill, Lincolnshire, when a shaft of plant got wedged up his urethra.

 

dog urethra

 

“He was walking like John Wayne when he ran back to us so I knew …

Posted: 28th, November 2015 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mother hosted beer and weed party for 12 to 14-year-olds

 

To Texas, where mother-of-three Mandy Wells, 32, tells police she “thought for minute that it was a bad idea” to provide alcohol and drugs to a party of 12-14 year olds but “did it anyway”.

Court documents allege Wells …

Posted: 28th, November 2015 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0