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The football pundits and journalists in the mainstream media love to make a Premier League prediction. On the Manchester City forums, west didsblue has collated all the tips.
Henry Winter: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Liverpool
Jeremy Wilson: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
Paul Hayward: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
Alan Smith: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
Matt Law: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
Jason Burt: Manchester United Manchester City Chelsea Asenal
Mark Ogden: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
Chris Bascombe: Chelsea Manchester City Liverpool Arsenal
John Percy: Chelsea Manchester City Manchester United Arsenal
Daniel Taylor: Manchester City
Barney Ronay: Manchester City
Simon Burnton: Chelsea
Paul Doyle: Arsenal
Dominic Fifield: Chelsea
Andy Hunter: Chelsea
David Hytner: Chelsea
Jamie Jackson: Chelsea
Jacob Steinberg: Chelsea
Louise Taylor: Arsenal
Paul Wilson: Chelsea
JAMIE REDKNAPP: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
JAMIE CARRAGHER: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
LEE CLAYTON Chelsea: Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
JEFF POWELL: Arsenal Chelsea Manchester United Manchester City
OLIVER HOLT: Chelsea Manchester United Arsenal Manchester City
IAN LADYMAN: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
DOMINIC KING: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
ROB DRAPER: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester United Manchester City
RIATH AL-SAMARRAI: Chelsea Manchester United Manchester City Arsenal
MIKE KEEGAN: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
LAURIE WHITWELL: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester United Manchester City
JOE BERNSTEIN: Manchester City Chelsea Arsenal Liverpool
CRAIG HOPE: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
SAM CUNNINGHAM: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
MATT LAWTON: Chelsea Manchester United Manchester City Arsenal
CHRIS WHEELER: Chelsea Manchester City Manchester United Arsenal
MATT BARLOW Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
Dave Kidd: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
John Cross: Manchester City Chelsea Manchester United Arsenal
Simon Bird: Chelsea Manchester City Manchester United Arsenal
David Maddock: Chelsea Manchester United Liverpool Arsenal
James Nursey: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester United Liverpool
David McDonnell: Chelsea Manchester United Manchester City Arsenal
Adrian Kajumba: Arsenal Chelsea Manchester United Manchester City
Darren Lewis: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester United Manchester City
Mike Walters: Arsenal Manchester United Chelsea Manchester City
Neil McLeman: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
Robbie Savage: Manchester United Arsenal Chelsea Liverpool Manchester City
David James: Chelsea Manchester United Arsenal Liverpool Manchester City
Michael Owen: Chelsea Manchester City Manchester United Liverpool
Alan Shearer: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
Ruud Gullit: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
Jason Roberts: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
Jacqui Oatley: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
Steve Bower: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
Rachel Brown-Finnis: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
Jermaine Jenas: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester United Manchester City
Kevin Kilbane: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester United Manchester City
Jonathan Pearce: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester United Manchester City
Ian Dennis Chelsea Arsenal Manchester United Manchester City
Alistair Bruce-Ball: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester United Manchester City
Gary Lineker: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
Mark Lawrenson: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
John Hartson: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
Chris Sutton: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
Graeme Le Saux: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
Conor McNamara: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
Pat Nevin: Chelsea Manchester United Arsenal Manchester City
Guy Mowbray: Chelsea Manchester United Arsenal Manchester City
Dan Walker: Chelsea Manchester United Arsenal Manchester City
Danny Mills: Chelsea Manchester United Arsenal Manchester City
John Murray: Chelsea Manchester United Arsenal Manchester City
Ian Wright: Arsenal Chelsea Manchester United Manchester City
Gabby Logan: Arsenal Chelsea Manchester United Manchester City
Didi Hamann: Arsenal Chelsea Manchester United Manchester City
Trevor Sinclair: Arsenal Chelsea Manchester City Manchester United
Dion Dublin: Manchester United Chelsea Arsenal Liverpool
Steve Wilson: Manchester United Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City
Chris Waddle: Manchester City Chelsea Arsenal Manchester United
Alistair Mann; Manchester City Manchester United Chelsea Arsenal
Matt Le Tissier: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
Paul Merson: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Liverpool
Charlie Nicholas: Arsenal Chelsea Manchester United Manchester City
Phil Thompson: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
Graeme Souness: Manchester City Chelsea Arsenal Liverpool
Martin Keown: Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City Manchester United
Danny Higginbotham: Chelsea Manchester United Arsenal Manchester City
Alan Brazil: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
Micky Gray: Manchester United Chelsea Arsenal Manchester City
Ray Parlour: Arsenal Chelsea Manchester City Manchester United
Danny Murphy: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
Stan Collymore: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
Jeremy Cross: Chelsea Manchester City Manchester United Arsenal
David Woods: Manchester City Chelsea Arsenal Liverpool
Chris McKenna: Chelsea Manchester City Manchester United Arsenal
Ian Murtagh: Arsenal Manchester United Chelsea Manchester City
Dave Armitage Chelsea Arsenal Manchester United Manchester City
Paul Brown: Chelsea Manchester City Arsenal Manchester United
Amanda Knox and Raffaele Sollecito were acquitted of murdering Meredith Kercher in Perugia. The case began on 2 November 2007, when the body of Kercher, 21, was found in the Italian flat she and Knox shared.
Italy’s supreme court said yesterday the verdict was down to police failures. The judges wrote:
“The trial had oscillations which were the result of stunning flaws, or amnesia, in the investigation and omissions in the investigative activity…The international spotlight on the case in fact resulted in the investigation undergoing a sudden acceleration, that, in the frantic search for one or more guilty parties to consign to international public opinion, certainly didn’t help the search for substantial truth….
“The kitchen knife, found in Sollecito’s house and the supposed crime weapon, was kept in an ordinary cardboard box, like the kind that Christmas gadgets are packaged in…
“The computers of Amanda Knox and Kercher, which perhaps could have furnished information useful to the investigation, were, incredibly, burned by imprudent maneouvers by the investigators.”
The gap is between the facts and the belief. And it does not end. The media spin continues. Knox, the American nicknamed ‘Foxy Knoxy’, was portrayed as either as the innocent abroad or the conniving “sex-crazed killer.”
The British Press continue to take a line:
Police failures led to Knox’s acquittal (Times)
Amanda Knox acquitted because of ‘stunning flaws’ in investigation (Guardian)
The headlines imply Knox got off because of police failures. But NBC news looks at the same ruling and says she should never have been a suspect:
The latest decision, from the Court of Cassation, Italy’s equivalent of the Supreme Court, slammed police and prosecutors for “stunning weakness” and “investigative bouts of amnesia.” Because no biological evidence from Knox or Sollecito was found at the house in Perugia where Kercher was murdered, the 52-page opinion said, their “participation” in the killing should have been “excluded.”
“There was no shortage of glaring errors in the underlying fabric of the sentence in question,” the court wrote.
On her website, Knox said:
“This has been a long struggle for me, my family, my friends, and my supporters. While I am glad it is now over, I will remain forever grateful to the many individuals who gave their time and talents to help me. Today would not have been possible without your unwavering support. I will now begin the rest of my life with one of my goals being to help others who have been wrongfully accused.”
“It is clear, it is definite, that I was the victim of a gross miscarriage of justice that will remain in history.”
One thing lies on Knox’s file: the Cassation panel said Knox did deserve a three-year sentence for slandering a Congolese-born Perugia pub owner whom she initially indicated as the murder suspect.
Rudy Hermann Guede, was convicted in separate proceedings and is serving a 16-year sentence.
It’s a widely held belief that IS – or “so-called Islamic State”, if you’re a BBC viewer – are murderous Islam supremacists who spend their days raping, pillaging and dreaming up news ways to brutalise humanity. Against them, we have Barack Obama’s rhetoric, President Assad of Syria’s murderous regime and the Kurds. Now thanks to the British justice system we can see one of these kurds at the Old Bailey, where Shilan Ozcelik is on trial for allegedly attempting to join the Kurdistan Workers Party (PKK).
IS would surely have raped and murdered her my now, but we can assume they are broadly in favour of the British courts’ criminalising someone trying to fight for the West.
Shilan Ozcelik, 18, has been charged with “engaging in conduct in preparation to for giving an effect to an intention to commit acts of terrorism” under section 5 (10) (a) of the Terrorism Act 2006. Arrested in January, Shilan has been held on remand in Holloway prison since early March.
The Kurdistan Tribune reports:
Her arrest and charge was met with outrage by the Kurdish community in the UK and supporters of the Kurdish struggle, who condemned it as a blatant example of selective and political criminalisation of the Kurdish community, which has continued since the PKK was listed as a ‘terrorist organisation’ in 2000.
We reject this labelling of the PKK, which we believe confuses the Kurdish people’s legitimate struggle for self-determination with terrorism and has the effect of criminalising anyone in the Kurdish community who is part of peaceful political activity. We know that Shilan has never committed any act of violence and poses no threat to the people of this country. As such, we reiterate our call for the charges against her to be dropped.
A woman keen to fight our enemy has been arrested for, er, trying to fight our enemy.
But this is also about the Turks. In July the Turkish government saw its chance to bomb the Kurds as it bombed IS:
[President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan] said the peace process, launched in 2012 in order to put an end to the bloody conflict between the Turkish government and the PKK that has killed over 40,000 since it began in 1984, had become impossible to maintain. The PKK has said the air strikes, launched virtually in parallel with Turkish strikes against Islamic State fighters in Syria, rendered the peace process meaningless. But it has stopped short of formally pulling out.
The Turkish air strikes on Kurdish rebels were launched in tandem with Turkey’s first ever military operations against Islamic State in Syria after a suicide bomb killed 32 in the small border town of Suruç last Monday, an attack that Ankara blames on Isis. Critics have accused Turkey of using the Isis threat as a pretext to weaken the Kurdish opposition. Turkey’s Nato allies have expressed unease about the operations aimed at the PKK, since the Kurds have been a crucial ally in the fight against Isis both in Syria and in Iraq.
So instead of trying to fight for her people, Shilan Ozcelik is in jail.
The Peace in Kurdistan Campaign sums up well:
Given this context, the arrest of a young Kurdish woman for allegedly attempting to join the YPJ seems more than a little contradictory.
To Florida, where Jefferson King, 33, has been arrested for allegedly exposing his ‘Whopper’ in the Burger King in West Palm Beach.
When a woman made eye contact with King and asked him what he was doing, he replied:
King has been charged with indecent exposure and was taken to the Palm Beach County jail.
Tip: This is why McDonald’s offer toys.
The Sun says England manager Roy Hodgson has issued a “warning” to injured strikers Danny Wellbeck and Daniel Sturridge.
HODGSON has warned Danny Welbeck and Daniel Sturridge that time is running out.
Arsenal’s Welbeck is injured; Liverpool’s Sturridge is returning from a long injury-enforced layoff. Was Hodgson so crass as to “warn” the players of anything? Wouldn’t he better served encouraging them?
Hodgson says Welbeck will not return to action for another six months, as opposed to Arsenal’s view that it will be a three-month absence.
What Hodgson also said was:
“I can only hope that Danny recovers a bit quicker and then hits the ground running as soon as he does return. Daniel Sturridge is a bit the same. It’s a year since he played for me. The two of them are always in my thoughts because I think they are very good players and they did extremely well for the national team when I was coaching.”
Not a warning of any sort, then.
In the Indy, the talk is of “a Plan B for if they are without Daniel Sturridge and Danny Welbeck”. Says Hodgson:
“I’ve got to make certain that there are a few Vardys and Kanes and Walcotts and that because we can’t keep going around talking about the ones who aren’t there.”
“We’ve got to be quite sanguine about it and we mustn’t start thinking ‘When this one comes back, we’ll be better still.’ We can’t do that. We’ve got to make sure we’re good with the ones who are playing.”
Hodgson makes entirely sensible comment. Read all about it.
How fast is New Horizon’s moving as it flew by Pluto? We know the numbers: the pod that’s taken nine year to reach Pluto is moving at 36,000 mph.
Clay Bavor has created a Gif to help us understand the phenomenal speed.
Flying at 37k feet, this is what it would be like to look out the window of a 747 vs. an SR-71 vs. a New Horizons.
Flying at 37k feet, this is what it would be like to look out the window of a 747 vs. an SR-71 vs. a New Horizons. pic.twitter.com/ChVsgK77Rl
— Clay Bavor (@claybavor) July 17, 2015
The sex offenders’ register is now so wide ranging it could serve as a contacts book for anyone mourning the loss of the Ashley Madison dating site. But take care because the sex offenders’ list contains names of the underage – oh, what irony – notably the 14-year-old youth who sent a naked selfie to a girl in his year at school.
He sent it via Snapchat – which delates the message after a few seconds. But she saved the message and flashed the photo to her school chums. Somehow the police got involved – what the hell are those lads looking at? – and the teen got to explain why everyone at the nick and school had seen his underage knob.
It’s all utterly mad, of course. But it paves the way ahead for our Brace New World. The next time a toddler pulls on his tackle or drops her pants, tell the police. These sickos must be stopped.
Liverpool fan John Smith has been winning plaudits for his work with the disabled.
The Mirror reported on August 18:
A lifelong Liverpool FC fan who overcame his disabilities to become a club charity coach has been recognised by the Prime Minister. John Smith, from Croxteth, was presented with a Point of Light award at Liverpool FC’s match against Bournemouth for his commitment to teaching wheelchair football to people with severe disabilities.
Prime Minister David Cameron was full of praise for the 39-year-old:
“For many people conquering disability to play wheelchair football would be enough of a challenge, but John has gone so much further. Through his key role in Liverpool’s Respect 4 All programme, he is sharing his wheelchair football skills with others and helping to make football more accessible for disabled people. What John is doing at Liverpool is inspirational and I am delighted to recognise him as the UK’s 317th Point of Light.”
John Smith features on the Number 10 official Facebook page.
On August 21, the Disability News Service had more on John Smith:
A disabled football coach has been recognised by the prime minister with a national volunteering award, even though that work is threatened by a legal battle over the “bedroom tax” with work and pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith…
Because he lives alone in social housing, in a two-bedroom adapted bungalow, he was forced to find an extra £12 a week towards his housing costs after he was told he was not entitled to a second bedroom because of the government’s “spare room subsidy removal policy”, also known as the bedroom tax.
This meant that Smith had to cut down on his spending on food while fighting the decision through the tribunal process, a battle which he said caused him to feel “very stressed”.
Last September, he won an initial appeal, on the grounds that he needed his spare room to store essential independent living aids, including his second wheelchair and a bath chair, as well as equipment he uses to play and coach wheelchair football, boxes of specialist powdered food, a bag of swimming equipment, and a punch-bag he uses to keep fit.
The room is also used to store a table football game that he plays with friends.
But after his initial victory, the work and pensions secretary appealed against the tribunal’s ruling, putting at risk all of Smith’s volunteering work and social and community links.
Now he is having to await the result of test cases in the Supreme Court, in which the bedroom tax will be challenged on the grounds that it discriminates against disabled adults like him.
Below the photo of the young Syrian would-be refugee and the story of escaping death, The People leads with the news that we have 72 hours to “save” Jimmy Greaves. The first thought is ‘for the nation’?
Inside we learn:
Jimmy Greaves is struggling to raise £30k he needs to walk again – and there’s just 72 hours to get the money
Jimmy Greaves is one of the best footballers ever to have pulled on an England shirt. Famous for scoring 44 goals for England in just 57 appearances, missing the 1966 World Cup final – his place taken by hat-trick hero Geoff Hurst – and fronting the excellent footy telly show Saint & Greavsie, the former Tottenham Hotspur’s star is ill. And the paper knows who to blame for his predicament:
Soccer should hang its head in shame today as the Sunday People urges the moneybags sport: Be a Saint for Greavsie
Should football teams club together to help the former player? Should they help him any more than any other outfit that’s employed Sir James, like ITV (as well as S&G he captained a team on the broadcaster’s Sporting Triangles) or the Sun, the Mirror’s great tabloid rival, which employed Jimmy as a columnist? Or maybe – get this – the Sunday People should dig deep and help out because Jimmy wrote a column for it, too. The People is published by the Trinity Mirror Group, which when it’s not hacking phones made a profit of £12.1m during the first six months of 2015.
No word of any of that in Matt Sprake’s article, which thunders:
A record £870million has just been spent by clubs on player transfers – but Jimmy Greaves, one of England’s greatest ever players, is struggling to raise £30,000 he needs to walk again.
Trinity Mirror is worth around £386m.
But the paper wants to use Greavsie’s illness to bash football not beat itself up. After all, it helped one other well refreshed former England and Spurs legend – Paul Gascoigne – with a tidy £188,250, albeit a ‘donation‘ enforced by law because Mirror Group journalists hacked his phone.
Greavsie, 75, has just three days left to get the money – less than many Premier League stars earn in a week – to pay for intensive physio following a devastating stroke in May. A fund is due to close in 72 hours and last night was well short of the target reports the Sunday People.
But the fact such a legendary figure should be in such a position at all has sparked anger.
Why doesn’t the NHS step in to help an England sporting great? It turns out that the physio is wanted in addition to NHS care.
George Cohen, one of England’s 1966 World Cup winning side and Jimmy’s close friend, urged football to act: “Someone in football could easily give Jimmy the full £30,000 in one go. I’d do it immediately if I had the money.”
George Cohen is well. But should he fall ill, would any club help him?
Greavsie missed out on big money soccer. He played for Chelsea, Tottenham and AC Milan… he was on just £8 a week when he signed for Chelsea in 1957.
Greaves did earn healthy signing-on fees. But compared to today’s massive wages, his pay packet was feathery light.
In 1961, Greaves opined:
“I’ve got to look to the future. I’d be a fool if I didn’t want to make as good money as I can while I can. Football’s all I’m good at. What I want is security for when I retire.”
He told the Observer:
“There are these reports that Bologna would pay £70,000 to Chelsea for me if the foreign player ban ever came off,” says Jimmy, who is earning £20 a week for his scintillating performances. “One report said that would mean I’d collect a £20,000 signing-on fee. It’s all right playing for Chelsea. But I’d like much better playing for a world-class club that paid real money.
“One thing, I never get butterflies before a match,” Jimmy goes on. “And after, if I’ve done well or badly, I always remember there’s a next time. Smoking helps me relax. About 10 a day, but they don’t affect my fitness. I like the odd drink, too.”
In 1961, Greaves joined AC Milan for £80,000. Later that same year he joined Spurs for £99,999. In 1961, the average house price was £2,770 and a litre of four-star petrol cost 5p. The average price of a home today is £200,280. There was big money. But back then then clubs and not the players got the bulk of it. Today Greaves would earn a fortune.
But would he look after it? The booze caught Greaves, who retired age 30.
“I lost the 70s completely,” he says. “They passed me by. I was drunk from 1972 to 1977. I woke up one morning and realised that it was a different world. I’d been living in it, but I hadn’t been aware of it.”
“Let’s make no bones about it. I wish I was playing today. Some of the players get half a dozen goals a year and earn a fortune. I look back at my Chelsea days when you had to fight to get £8 a week in the winter and £7 a week in the summer, and now there are players who haven’t even played in the first team on 40 grand a week.”
Greaves missed the Premier League. But is football really ignoring one of its greats? At the bottom of the People’s article, we learn:
Tottenham Tribute Trust [TTT], a football charity set up to aid ex-players, has been helping Jimmy adapt his home. They have also helped fund some of the early treatment he required.
TTT “was set up in 2002 to help people connected with Spurs who have fallen on difficult times.” On its website, we learn:
TTT is bound by confidentiality and so never comments on the support we have provided (nor who we have provided it to) without the consent of our beneficiaries, for whom our help is often a deeply private matter.
The Mirror adds:
The Professional Footballers Association has also vowed to assist. Football Association chiefs have been in contact with JustGiving, who run Greavsie’s fundraising page, to seek further ways of boosting funds. Chairman Greg Dyke has made a donation, understood to be in four-figures. But the rest of the football world seems to have forgotten Jimmy.
It’s clear that the ‘football world’ has not forgotten Jimmy Greaves. And neither has the tabloid media. Maybe together they can dig deep and help him out…?
PS: On Greaves’ website, we learn:
Jimmy needs at least a year of physio and because his income has all but disappeared because of the stroke, we have set up a just giving page to try and raise £30,000 towards the cost. We have already raised around £15k with the people and Freda & my company A1 Sporting Speakers helping out , but this £30k extra could help Jimmy to make more of a recovery. He has a long hard road ahead but we would love to see him back somewhere near his old self. Here’s a link to the donations page. Every little helps. Thanks to everyone who donates a little bit. Every pledge is received with gratefullness and love. https://crowdfunding.justgiving.com/JimmyGreaves
And over there we learn that the 30k has nearly been raised. He’s not “struggled” to raise it at all.
The Mirror’s story of 72 hours to save Greaves unless £30k is raised is total balls. He needs under £3k. People have been generous. Football has not ignored his plight.
News from 2012 with Jeremy Ko:
I translated the video myself and added it in using FCP. It is as accurate as I can understand from it. Besides the obscure name of the villages, it is mostly accurate. Downloaded the video from Tudou. Xi’an Up Close 《西安零距离》, an investigative journalism programme which airs on Xi’an TV, has become a national laughing stock after airing a report on June 17 on a “mystery mushroom” which was discovered by villagers in a rural part of the city…
Why does everything about the last line sound like a euphemism?
The Daily Mail is overjoyed that migrants have reached the “promised land”.
Daily Mail readers might be tad confused by this take on the news. For years the Mail has told its readers that migrants, immigrants and asylum-seekers are bad news.
The Scottish Daily Mail corrected an article after a complaint from the Scottish Refugee Council:
In an article headlined: “Crisis as Asylum Seekers target Scotland” we stated that asylum seekers were ‘targeting’ Scotland. We now accept that asylum seekers are dispersed by the UK Border Agency on a ‘no choice’ basis and would not be able to choose to live in Scotland. With the current rate of asylum applicants to the UK well within the average rate of the past ten years, we also accept that it is misleading to categorise this as a ‘crisis’. We are happy to clarify the position and apologise for the error.
There were 4000 foreign-born rapists in the Mail’s Britain:
The scary headline was undone by the facts:
Nearly 4,000 foreign murderers, rapists and other criminals are roaming the streets, free to commit more crimes.
You say shoplifter, banned driver or fare dodger – the Mail says ‘rapist‘.
Allan Mallinson asked Mail readers a question more loaded than George Bush at a frat house:
Jeremy Swain, chief executive of the homelessness charity Thames Reach, wrote to the PCC about the Mail’s news of wandering foreigners getting a free wash at the expense of our ‘heroes’:
…the article suggests ‘the civilian shelters were full of Somalis and Poles’. This is inaccurate as whilst many people from overseas end up sleeping rough, they cannot access homeless hostel bed spaces as they have no rights to the benefits which would pay their rent. Quite simply, unless someone has paid national insurance contributions for over a year, they won’t be found accommodation in hostels and other ways of helping them are being sought within the homelessness sector. Hostels are not ‘full of Somalis and Poles’ as the article’s author states. Indeed they make up a very tiny minority of the hostel population.
There’s been apologising from the Scottish Daily Mail:
In December the Mail reported that over £5 million was being spent on last-ditch legal bids – judicial reviews – by asylum seekers to remain in Scotland. We are happy to make clear that this figure reflects the combined sums spent on advice and assistance (£3.5 million), assistance by way of representation (£1 million), and legal aid (£0.6 million) to asylum seekers and immigrants. The cost of legal aid work on judicial reviews falls within the latter figure. We apologise if readers were misled by our original story.
The Mail’s Richard Littlejohn said illegal immigrants and asylum seekers were the same thing:
From time to time I may have written about both asylum seekers and wheelie bins. But never before in the same sentence. Until now… Six illegal immigrants have been detained by a border patrol in Calais. The four men and two women, all from Vietnam, were discovered hiding in a consignment of wheelie bins bound for Britain…
Maybe Richard Littlejohn made handwritten notes he couldn’t read? He once opined:
Gloucester City Council is sending out census forms in no fewer than 56 different languages …why waste time and public money printing leaflets in 56 different languages, many of them scribble?
…any Afghan climbing off the back of a lorry in Dover goes automatically to the top of the housing list.
Really? No. Of course not.
And the Mail’s star columnist again:
A couple of months ago, after a Mayfair jewellery heist, I joked that it was heartening to see good old British blaggers making a comeback. For too long, they had been beaten at their own game by Eastern European gangs who I suggested carried out ‘most of the robberies in this country’. It seems I did the chaps a disservice. While Eastern European gangs have been responsible for many high-end jewel robberies across the Continent, our home grown villains are holding their own over here. If I have inadvertently offended any Balkan gangster, or local blagger come to that, as well as the vigilant reader who complained, I apologise unreservedly for any confusion which may have been caused.
To counter the dire reporting the Mail emplyed its own in-house immigrant in the shape of Australian-born Amanda Platell. She would champion the new arrivals seeking a better life in the UK. Or not:
Sadly, though, it is not the indigenous middle-class, hard-working, tax-paying population that’s exploding… it’s not so much a baby boom we’re experiencing as a benefits boom. Middle Britain, stand ready to empty your wallets.
More Mail errors followed:
This article has been amended. It previously contained a graphic that correctly listed the latest annual number of non-EU nationals admitted to each of ten European countries. However, a second table was wrongly headed “Non EU citizens to each square kilometre” instead of “Number of people to each square kilometre”. We are happy to correct this point.
So many errors being made about foreigners living in the UK. Cynics would argue that it indicates an agenda.
But surely the Mail is just sticking to the facts:
For at this time when our public services are strained beyond endurance, it means Britain must now, in a dramatic reversal of policy, give a home to all gay asylum-seekers who are prevented from displaying their sexuality openly in their home countries.
Where are we to draw the line? This is all about numbers and a small island’s ability to absorb an ever-increasing population.
At least the Mail knows its readers. At the end of the story “Migrant found dead in the back of a lorry as it prepares to enter Channel Tunnel”, the Mail approved such a comments as these:
one down, millions to go
– crackers, yorkshire, 31/10/2009 2:42
Good news. One less to worry about!
– keith jones, porthcawl, south wales, 30/10/2009 22:13
Shame but I would be a hypocrit if I said I was sorry!
– Nanny B, West Sussex, 30/10/2009 17:42
And you migrants who do make it here alive should know that it will take generations before the Mail considers you British. Steve Doughty and James Slacker wrote:
However although the figures from the Government’s Office for National Statistics show an increase in numbers of foreign-born people they still fail to record the true impact of immigration because they record their children as British rather than second- or third-generation immigrants.
Bit never mind all that because a couple of dead Syrian children had their photos taken on a Turkish beach and the Mail came to realise that only utter bastards would laugh, mock and monster the desperate.
The X Factor is back. Simon Cowell is one step closer to becoming his own waxwork. Cheryl Cole remains the nation’s sweetheart (that nation being Assad’s Syria). Nick Grimshaw brings all the cool of a BBC DJ (nice!). And Rita Ora’s rapper lover Wiz Khalifa “developed a $10,000-a-month cannabis habit — after his mum got him hooked on the drug.”
Well, so says the Sun of the singer who opines: “There’s nothing you can do wrong when it comes to smoking weed.”
You sit on the sofa better. You watch telly better. You skin up better. And above all you negotiate better – we don’t get to know how much weed $10,000 gets Khalifa every month but his dealer assures us it’s a very, very good deal and the unique best quality stuff he supplies is harder to find than a story on Louis Walsh’s private life.
The Sun can reveal his mum started him on the drug when Wiz — real name Cameron Thomaz — was a teenager.
Just as he revealed the same thing in 2011.
Katie “Peachie” Wimbush-Polk, 51, tells media:
“Before I went to work, before he went to school, it was our way of bonding. We would smoke together. He got his habit from his mother. He would smell it coming from my room with me and my girlfriends. He always knew there was a good time going on because there would be laughter and a pungent smell.
“When he got older, he would steal the marijuana butts I would leave, and smoke them.”
“He was always really mature. Hence Wiz Khalifa. Wiz is short for Wisdom. Wisdom because he’s mature and Khalifa because it’s the name my father gave him. It’s Arabic for the leader or the keeper of the light.”
Which is useful. Because when you’re goofed and the bongs gone out, it’s good to know whose got the light.
When we heard that Roberto Esquivel Cabrera, a 52-year-old Mexican, sported a 19-inch penis, we marvelled. And then we wondered if anyone had a photo of the massive member.
Cabrera says his penis is go gargantuan that he “can not go to church because I can not kneel … Wherever I go, [they] all stare.”
And now you too can stare because the fine minds at TMZ have filmed Cabrera and what appears to be the stuffed tail of a toy lion rooting from his knickers.
Unable to put the huge knob in a neckbrace, Cabrera has taken to swaddling it in bandages. The result is that you can’t see his penis at all. This looks a lot like the end of the legend.
And therefore never send to know for whom the bellend tolls; It tolls for thee.
To China, where Liang Xiuzhen of Sichuan sports a 13-centimeter by 6-centimeter horn. It’s not stuck on. It’s part of her.
The 87-year-old’s growth is known as a cutaneous horn. Made of keratin, the horn grew over a period of just two years from a small mole.
It might be an idea to get your new ‘beauty spot’ checked out…
In 2011 Lauren Giddings had been reported missing. The TV news crew interviewed her classmate and neighbour, Stephen McDaniel.
He was keen to talk.
Look out for the part when he’s told the body has been found:
Stephen McDaniel confessed to killing Lauren Giddings.
He is serving a life sentence for her murder.
Questions aplenty in light of the Torquay Herald’s story of Paul Clint Wells, 38, who stood before the Beak at Torquay Magistrates’ Court for the alleged offence of “attempting to rob a woman of money of a value unknown from her private parts”.
Wells will appear in court on October 10.
File under: money box.
Wolves v French farmers.
French farmers kidnap Alps park chiefs, demanding protection from wolf attacks. “French farmers have kidnapped the head of a national park in the Alps, demanding stronger measures against wolves that are attacking their flocks. France’s rising wolf population is causing concern for many sheep farmers, mainly from Provence to the Hautes Alpes area. The number of wolf attacks nationwide has doubled in the past five years and the population – now at around 300 – has tripled since 2005.”
Which side are the Brtish holidaymakers on?
The transfer season might be over, but the Daily Mail is still talking balls. The paper leads with the shouty headline that Manchester United manager Louis Van Gaal is a displinarian nutter whose already baring his fans at new £58m teenage sensation Anthony Martial:
Van Gaal’s warning for £36m Martial… You’ll play where I tell you
As we look for signs that nutty Van Gaal plans to play Martial in goal, we get to the actual quote that drives the backpage screamer:
‘He (Van Gaal) asked me my preferred position,’ said Martial, who has been given the No 9 shirt. ‘I prefer to play in the centre but he told me I could play in a number of positions — it is the coach who decides but whatever position I play, I will do the best I can.’
What says Van Gaal, man behind that “warning“? Nothing. The story contains not a single quote from the Dutchman.
“It was just so dirty. I went to pick my daughter up and there at the bottom of the flume was faeces. She nearly stepped in it. It was horrendous. We told a lifeguard and he just stood there grinning.”
It’s a good ride. Scary. But good.
The venue counters:
“We can confirm a customer reported to lifeguards that there was faeces on the floor next to the bottom of one of our flumes. The incident was reported to the supervisor and the faeces promptly cleaned up and the floor area disinfected. There was no indication that this had originated from inside the flume, and faeces was not found in the pool itself.”
The Bells have been offered a refund and family free entry on their next visit.
They’ll have to bring their own snacks.
Never step on a cricket. That’s a nematomorpha.
You’ve most likely seen the photos of three-year-old Aylan Kurdi and his older brother Galip, 5, both drowned fleeing Syria for better lives in the West, their bodies washed up on Turkish shores.
Their faces are all over the papers, images ostensibly intended to shock us from apathy into action but working only to exploit one family’s personal tragedy as mourn porn.
What did the editors of our caring national newspapers think a dead body looked like? And why is it that a dead child should matter more than a dead anyone or someone escaping a living Hell?
Aylan and Galip are being used to bolster our own morals, a fact no more evidenced than in the Sun, which has spent years mocking and demonising migrants of all ages but now champions the dead.
The pictures of dead children infantalise any debate, reducing it to a posing contest between people outraged at the sight of dead kids on a European beach and those who are not (which is to say nobody sane).
A few weeks ago, the internet seethed at the picture of a dead lion named Cecil. The dead beast gave us all a chance to declare how much we hated his killer, an American dentist named… Can you remember it? Oh, come on. We all hated him. He was World Enemy Number One, real scum. He was on the national news in the UK. Mia Farrow tweeted his home address so we could all go round and throw things at him. The man was a demon.
Cecil, a big-fanged lion who it might have been acceptable to shoot dead 100 years ago, was our hero and our means to look good, go ahead and morally spot on. Tweeting your love for Cecil was as self-aggrandising and needy as wearing a T-shirt declaring your dislike of nuclear war and Pershing missiles. Cecil was PR for the PC. Not long after, wildlife killer and Royal family marketing gonk Prince Harry popped up on the news cycle to show his love for lions.
(Although most other animals think Harry’s a c***)
Now, about those children. Who can we blame to make ourselves feel good, pure of mind and sound of heart?
After all, it’s not about Cecil or Aylan Kurdi or Galip. It’s about us.
Migrants, don’t panic. We British have a proud history in letting you in. Sure, we’re not letting you in now, but look at our proud history, you swarming filth. The Sun swells with pride:
In other Sun news:
2013: The Sun buried a small correction:
2012: “Greedy Bulgars – Family of nine Bulgarian gypsies who targeted UK to scrounge benefits are housed in just three weeks — at the taxpayers’ expense”
2011: “160,000 Brits lose jobs to migrants”
April 2010: “Many asylum-seekers are no more than dole-scroungers”
2009: “NHS to be swamped by 1m illegals”
And not forgetting earlier this year the call to ‘Show Me The Bodies!”
Buy the Sun and stop the migrants!
The bodies are all over the beach – and the migrant-hating Sun’s front page.
All newspapers lad with the photograph of the dead boy washed up on a Turkish beach.
The dead boys on the beach were two Syrian refugees. Galip and Aylan, who died on a boat with their mother, Rehan. Their father, Abdullah, survived. The family hoped to join Abdullah’s sister Teema, a Vancouver hairdresser, in Canada.
Why can we not do it now? Why cannot the countries of Europe, possibly supplemented by our allies in the US, Canada and elsewhere, get together our most practical minds, our most experienced administrators, and create an agency for the resettlement of migrants and refugees? Such an agency would be responsible for devising workable and humane solutions on the scale that is needed, and be funded accordingly. I hear the obvious objection, but we’ll spend more in the longer term and in much worse circumstances otherwise.
Or do we lack something that our fathers and mothers had? Do our leaders lack the moral courage to lead and do we lack the moral courage to recognise the need to be led? If so, the outlook is dreadful.