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News | Anorak - Part 40

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We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.

Chelsea balls: Mourinho attacks Arsenal with praise

In “Why I don’t want Arsenal to go through”, the Mirror  leads its posts coverage with the words of Chelsea’s manager Jose Mourinho.

 

Arsenal daily mirror

 

Reader can think of any number of reason why the manager of Chelsea wold prefer

Posted: 26th, November 2015 | In: Arsenal, Chelsea, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Japanese department store offers one ‘FUCKIN’ SALE’

osaka fucking sale sign

To Osaka, where the Gallerie store is holding a “Fuckin’ Sale”.

Update: it’s been changed.

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Posted: 25th, November 2015 | In: News, The Consumer | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Anti-Semite Dieudonne becomes a martyr

Anti-Semetic, Jew-obsessed French comedian Dieudonne M’bala M’bala has been sentenced to two months in jail by a Belgian court for being an anti-Semite. A Belgian court says Dieudonne broke the law when he spoke at a show in Liege in

Posted: 25th, November 2015 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Arsenal balls: Petr Cech ran 4.6km against Dinamo Zagreb

Arsenal need to beat Olympiakos by two goals or score three and simply win to progress to the knockout phase of the Champions League.

Statistics in football can be tricky to comprehend. For instance, tonight BT produced numbers on every

Posted: 24th, November 2015 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Arsenal send the stretchers for Lars Bender and William Carvalho

Will Arsenal buy a new player in the January transfer window? And will that player take out extra medical insurance? The BBC says Arsenal have “dossiers of holding midfielders” should they need to replace the injured Francois Coquelin.

The Daily

Posted: 24th, November 2015 | In: Arsenal, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Silhan Ozcelik betrayed by justice, like all the Kurds

kurds

 

Silhan Ozcelik is in a British prison. You might be outraged. You should be.

This is how the Islington Gazette headlines the story of the young woman who went to join the Kurds, the people fighting Asad and ISIS.

Posted: 24th, November 2015 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United balls: the mounting injury crisis gets better fast

Ahead of Manchester United’s Champion’s League tie with PSV, the Independent has news:

Champions League: Manchester United’s injury woes continue to mount for PSV visit

United fans will see that headline. Worry. And click.

They will arrive at the Indy’s

Posted: 24th, November 2015 | In: manchester united, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Ronaldo 99% certain to join Manchester United (and 100% certain not to)

The Independent is so independent of thought its writers contradict each other freely. Sometimes they ever contradict themselves in the space of a few minutes. Today the paper has NINE stories on Real Madrid footballer Cristiano Ronaldo.

David Ward writes:

Posted: 24th, November 2015 | In: manchester united, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Aston Villa: Jack Grealish in hippy horror night out

aston villa jack Aston Villa footballer Jack Grealish went out and enjoyed himself his Aston Villa side lost 4-0 to Everton. This leads the Daily Mail’s sports news.

The facts in David Kent’s report are damning:

FACT:

The midfielder is then believed to

Posted: 24th, November 2015 | In: News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Clock Boy Ahmed Mohamed wants $15m for ‘trauma’, lives in Qatar

ahmed's clock

 

You will remember Clock Boy, one Ahmed Mohamed. He was arrested after teachers at his Texas school thought the homemade clock he’d brought to class looked like a bomb.

Ahmed and his family have been living in the enlightened

Posted: 24th, November 2015 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Manchester United balls: Wayne Rooney is off to play in China?

china wayne rooney If this were the 1970s, and we were Benny Hill, we would describe the Sun’s  back page exclusive that the Chinese are wooing Wayne Rooney as looney.

As it is the Sun says “Utd fear a takeaway”.

Cue jokes about

Posted: 23rd, November 2015 | In: manchester united, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Yodel delivery driver leaves package on top of customer’s roof

Ever use a ladder to retrieve a package?

YodelOnline Suprised your delivery driver decided to throw the

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Posted: 23rd, November 2015 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Ronaldo to Manchester United and Benitez to Coventry

Ronaldo picking

 

Trouble at Real Madrid. One bruising defeat to Barcelona and Cristiano Ronaldo, 30, says of manager Rafael Benitez: “Either he goes, or I go.” And that means Ronaldo is off to play for Manchester United.

Well, so reports the 

Posted: 23rd, November 2015 | In: manchester united, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Manchester United get Gareth Bale, Ronaldo and Benitez

bale balls In “GALACTIGO”, the Daily Express says Manchester United are poised to sign Cristiano Ronaldo and Gareth Bale. If Real Madrid sell their players, if Manchester United have the money to sign then, if the players want to leave and play

Posted: 23rd, November 2015 | In: manchester united, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Radio France changes pro-migrant headline after Paris massacre

Hindsight at wok in the French media, where the website of State-owned Radio France has rewritten its opinion on terrorism and migration.

The original headline on the September 14 story ran: “Refugees: the fantasy of terrorist infiltration.”

 

 

refugee

 

Posted: 23rd, November 2015 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Panic: Europe runs out of Jews to murder and Prince Charles explains all

Belgium justice minister, Koen Greens, has discovered a problem: allowing terrorists take out frustration on Jews is ok until you run out of Jews. He says:

“It’s no longer synagogues or the Jewish museums or police stations, it’s mass gatherings

Posted: 23rd, November 2015 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Biased BBC: Murdering Jews in Israel is never ‘terror’

biased-bbc

Rabbi Aharon Yesayev, 32, from Tel Aviv, Reuven Aviram, 51, from Ramle, Ezra Schwartz, 18, of Sharon, Massachusetts, Yaakov Don, 49, from Alon Shvut, and Shadi Arafa, 40, from Hebron have been murdered in Israel.

How did the BBC report

Posted: 22nd, November 2015 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mr Phuc Dat Bich ‘banned from Facebook’

An exasperated Vietnamese-Australian man has shared a photo of his passport to prove his name really is Phuc Dat Bich after he was banned from Facebook several times.

 

 

Mr Phuc Dat Bich, 23, says “nobody seems to believe

Posted: 22nd, November 2015 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Police swoop on man with ‘armed’ sandwich

armed sandwich

 

To Stevenage railway station, Hertfordshire. It’s 4.40pm on Thursday afternoon. Police are responding to an urgent call:  someone has seen a man with a gun .

Armed police have located

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Posted: 22nd, November 2015 | In: News, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Transfer balls: Liverpool have £42m for Aubameyang, Chelsea offer £20m, Arsenal release Reus

 

Transfer balls: News is that Liverpool manager Jürgen Klopp is on course to reunite with Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, the  Borussia Dortmund striker who has scored a mere 19 goals in 16 appearances so far this season.

The Guardian says Arsenal

Posted: 22nd, November 2015 | In: Chelsea, Liverpool, News, Sports, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Is Cher Dead?

On December 2014, Cher had three months to live, reported the National Enquirer .

tumblr_ngo40cUgF91tj0d4uo1_1280

 

 

Seven months later Cher was dead.

 

tumblr_nru89q23nr1tj0d4uo1_1280

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Posted: 21st, November 2015 | In: Celebrities, National Enquirer, News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Arsenal: Hector Bellerin breaks Usain Bolt’s sprint record (sort of)

usainbolt1

Is Arsenal defender Hector Bellerin faster than Usain Bolt, the world’s greatest 100m runner?

Elizabeth Cassin writes for the BBC :

When Usain Bolt broke the 100m world record in 2009, it took him 4.64 seconds to run the first

Posted: 21st, November 2015 | In: Arsenal, News, Sports | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Angelina Jolie not dead: weight falls to weekly deadline

angelina jolie dead

 

Angelina Jolie weighs 83lbs. We know this because the National Enquirer leads with the weighty issue on its cover page. The NE loves to talk about Jolie’s weight. Her love-rival, former Mrs Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, sucks the tabloid

Posted: 21st, November 2015 | In: Celebrities, News, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Spurs balls: Kane and Alli get pay rise but Manchester United and Chelsea wait

del alli

 

The Sun leads with news that Spurs will invest £25m in tying Dele Alli and Harry Kane to long term deals. The money won’t come in one hit. As the paper says:

Striker Kane, currently on £45,000 a week,

Posted: 21st, November 2015 | In: News, Sports, Spurs | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0