We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.
GLOBAL warming story of the day:
Global warming increases asthma
WOOF! Woof!! A South Korean company says it has taken its first order for the cloning of a pet dog.
A woman from the United States wants her dead pitbull terrier – called Booger – re-created.
RNL Bio is charging the woman, from California, $150,000 (£76,000) to clone the pitbull using tissue extracted from its ear before it died.
The work will be carried out by a team from Seoul National University, where the first dog was cloned in 2005.
Dinner in Malaysia. Seconds…
Rioting in Denmark!
“Immigrant” youths are torching cars and schools.
An elementary school was torched in the violence.
CRIME prevention in America-:
Investigators say they were definitely going to rob him – possibly even kill him.
But an 80-year-old North Texan wasn’t about to let that happen, so he took action.
One of the suspects is in the hospital and both are facing charges.
Two men obviously thought James Pickett, 80, was an easy target when they showed up at his home on Saturday with a knife. . . .
What the men didn’t know is Picket had taken a pistol and put it in his pocket before opening the door.
“He jumped and turned and I shot him,” Picket said.
The two brothers, Paul and Holden Perry, ran but didn’t get far before calling an ambulance.
A bullet just missed Paul Perry’s spine.
“The only problem was I run out of bullets,” Picket said.
In the meantime, he could cosh ‘em with the gun…
SAYS GEORGE Bush: “I suspect the families of those victims understand the nature of killers. What people gotta understand is that we’ll make decisions based upon law. We’re a nation of law.”
Why suspect? Why not ask the families of those killed in the July 7 attacks on London what they think?
This is the text of a letter sent by Tony Benn to every Westminster MP.
Dear Member of Parliament,I am writing to ask you to make it possible for me – and every elector in Britain – to vote on the Lisbon Treaty in a referendum. For the Lisbon Treaty transfers important powers which belong to us, to others in Europe we do not elect, cannot remove, and who therefore do not have to listen to us in the way that MPs listen to their constituents.
Britain must work closely with its European neighbours, but if this cooperation is to succeed, the arrangements must be democratically approved by all the people of Europe.
There is a case for a fully federal Europe. But surely those who take that view should, as democrats, want to win a majority for it in a referendum. That is why this decision must be made by the British people as a whole, because it will affect us all irrevocably and the Lisbon Treaty can never be amended or repealed by any future government that we elect.
Moreover, if three-line whips are imposed, telling any MPs how they must vote, it could not then even be argued that parliament had decided the matter freely. For all these reasons I hope you yourself will feel able to vote for a referendum, thus safeguarding the rights of your electors.
The new Jordan will be less created then moulded. Into Anorak’s Eazy3 steps young Nicola and with the addition of some vowels, GGs latex and sunset orange colouring (now in a handy spray) out steps Nikii.
The Eazy3 machine should be able to turn out at least 10 Jordans a day.
Nothing is perfect, though, and the seconds will go to the Daily Sport.
The Sport knows what it is. While the Sun has Nikkala, happy to talk about world economic issues and celebrity, the Sport has a “FREE BABE SANDWICH POSTER”.
Before that, readers get a “BONUS” babe” a kind of two-for-one deal, offcuts formed into a Sam, from Rotherham.
But it is the centre pages that draw the readers in like a rutting salmon to its spawning grounds. And there is the Star’s model du jour eating a bacon sandwich and allowing the tomato ketchup to cascade seductively down her bosom. It’s National Bacon Week.
It’s a piece of meat. With sauce, no less. But only half person. No legs, see. No feet. No page 3 backside.
They broke the mould when they made Jordan. But with the Anorak’s Eazy3, we can rebuild…
HOW do the Americans see the Rowan Williams mess? This in the American Spectator:
In his wonderfully wooly-headed interview, derived from a public lecture delivered by him at the Royal Courts of Justice, Dr. Williams called on his countrymen to arrive at “constructive accommodation” with Islamic sharia law. According to his calculations, the inclusion of sharia law into the British code of law is “unavoidable.” Thus if you are visiting London in the future and you appear in a British court, do not be surprised if it is presided over by a smiling mullah.
Since the 1930s many in the church’s leadership have been classic appeasers. They appeased the fascists. Why would we not expect them to appease religious fascists?
In the Independent, Johann Hari makes the point:
In his lecture, he worries that this could harm women – before serving up a theological gloop, saying that sharia could be reinterpreted in a way compatible with the rights of women. But if that happens, why would you need different courts? What would be the point?
Rowan Williams has singled out a group for special treatment. His views are divisive. They neglect the rights of the individual to make a choice, to interpret as they see fit.
As the Daily Record reports, Nessie hunter Robert Rines is giving up his search for the monster after 37 years. The 85-year-old American will make one last trip in a bid to find the elusive beast.
As the paper says: “Despite having hundreds of sonar contacts over the years, the trail has since gone cold and Rines believes that Nessie may be dead, a victim of global warming.”
They say global warming killed Princess Diana…
Come On Mi Gente, Let’s Get Online! IO Digital Cable – You need to see this…
THE bigots cannot win:
A £10 million architectural centre built as a memorial to Stephen Lawrence, the teenager killed in a racist attack 15 years ago, was vandalised yesterday, just a week after it opened.
Eight windows worth £15,000 each on the front of the new building in Deptford, southeast London, were destroyed. Scotland Yard confirmed that it was treating the incident as racist. No arrests have been made.
And still it goes on…
THE 20 ugliest university campuses in the USA.
Pyongyang, February 13 (KCNA) — General Secretary Kim Jong Il received a floral basket from Mahmoud Abbas, chief of the Palestinian National Authority, on the occasion of his birthday.
Something will be made of Mr Abbas cosying up to the Axis of Evil leader. But it is the gift that catches the eye. Does one man give another a basket of flowers? A better gift would be a souvenir spoon from Bethletham, a Ronson electric carving knife or something more personal, like a replica of Yasser Arafat made from orange peel.
Flowers are suggestive of a last-minute panic, an emergeny purchase. The reports fails to mention what flowers were in the gift, but when you close the eyes you see carnations, that flower of hope abandoned…
“Which celebrity most closely resembles your ideal man?”
Gordon Brown – I like powerful men – 1.8%
“Which celebrity most closely resembles your ideal woman?”
Cherie Blair – powerful women do it for me – 0.9%
Based on the current population, that suggests that a truly alarming 2,218 chaps have the hots for La Booth, and a scarcely less credible 4,764 lassies are pining for the Dour One.
Stand up and make yourselves known to the group…
DIZZY wonders: “How long before the paedos appeal?”
Well isn’t ‘intent’ a funny thing? As the news yesterday showed, the courts have ruled that if you constantly download, watch and share material from the Internet of loony Islamist training for jihad; making bombs; blowing themselves and others up; or watching some poor sodding journalist have his head hacked off with a great machete then it’s fine and dandy if you can say that you’re just a fantasist and would never actually dream of carrying out such things yourself.Does this now mean that all those men convicted of downloading the violation of children can appeal their convictions on the line of ‘look, I know I had videos of 40 year old men buggering 4 year olds, but honestly m’Lud I wouldn’t dream of ever doing it myself, it’s just a bit of fantasising really! I know I shared them but I never dreamed that I might be encouraging such things by doing so’? Of course it doesn’t and there would, quite rightly, be a huge public outcry if it did. Yet that rather flippant example perfectly expresses the sheer absurdity of the argument being put forward that these lads were guilty of mere thought crimes and were not a potential danger.
I mean, it’s not like one of them ran away from a home and left a note saying he was off to fight Jihad abroad now was it? Oh wait, what am I saying, one of them did do that. The judgement that he was just a young impressionable mind and so was a pure innocent corrupted sounds a bit like a celebrity who did porno early in their career and then has to say they were ‘young and stupid’. What next, a person appearing in a video containing extreme violence defending themselves by saying that they were just being youthfully stupid, whilst another who watches it just promises everyone that it’s just for research whilst he mixes the paroxide?
Anorak is less certain. Watching and thinking are not the same as doing. If you can be jailed for what you think, what then?
THIS is just sensationalism: “Danish newspapers have reprinted one of several caricatures of the Prophet Muhammad which sparked violent protests across the Muslim world two years ago.”
They say they wanted to show their commitment to freedom of speech after an alleged plot to kill one of the cartoonists behind the drawings.
Psst! Wanna see an old picture..?
THIS video suggest Iran is preparing for a bloodless coup.
It’s produced by the Interior Ministry, and broadcast on Iranian TV.
KEN Livingstone says: “Most vehicles that will be charged £25, in vehicle excise duty band G, are high-priced models.
“Those who buy them can afford to choose from pretty much the whole of the mainstream car market but have chosen to buy one of the most polluting vehicles.
“By making these changes to the congestion charging scheme we are encouraging people to take into account the impact of their choice of new car on the environment and the planet.”
Ken wants you to pay £25 – and then pay for parking – to drive into his congestison zone.
Note the miserabilist’s mention of money and those who can afford the bigger gas guzzling cars. Well it turns out that these instruments of the uber rich are:
- Ford Galaxy Ghia
– Honda Accord 06 Tourer
– Hyundai Santa Fe
– Renault Espace Dynamique
– Peugeot 407
– Vauxhall Vectra
– Vauxhall Zafira
– Volkswagen Passat
– Volkswagen Golf
– Volvo V70
In short, family cars.
ALWAYS good to know where your enemy is: “Report: Iran puts uranium gas in centrifuges
Diplomats say new generation of advanced centrifuges begin processing small quantities of gas that can be used to make fissile core of nuclear warheads
PALESTINIAN TV has the X Factor. It doesn’t have Noel Edmonds. Farfur the mouse is dead. And Tom and Jerry are part of a Zionist conpsiracy. But it makes do with (is it Anthea Turner in a pantomime suit?):
A new character has joined the cast of the Hamas TV children’s show “Pioneers of Tomorrow” – Assud the Bunny.
Assud’s return from “the diaspora” followed the death of his brother, Nahoul the Bee, on the show. Nahoul was depicted as dying because he could not get to a hospital in Egypt for surgery. Assud states, “We are all ready to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of our homeland. We will sacrifice our souls and everything we own for the homeland”; program host Saraa Barhoum concurs. He also vows to “get rid of the Jews and eat them up.”
It will be recalled that Nahoul himself replaced Farfour, the Hamas mouse, who was killed by an Israeli soldier on the show in June 2007.
DIZZY notes: “Apparently the Government wants to introduce YADB (geek name Yet Another Database) that will track every child through school and to retirement with all the details of how you scored on tests and whether you got expelled etc etc.”
The most hilarious thing is that they say it will mean you have a ‘tamper proof CV’. If they even manage to get such a project off the ground I give it less than a year of go-live before someone has made themselves a straight-A student.
It never ceases to amaze me how Government ministers are complete idiots when it comes to technology. Rule number one. If a human being writes a system, a human being can crack it. The Germans thought Enigma was uncrackable too, look where that got them.
But the computer says you’re dead, sir…
Paulbots seem to have lost there verve; the most importantest Republican in the history of the world!!1!1!12!!1!@! drew no better than 6 percent, and took less than 1,000 votes in D.C. And somewhere, the ghost of Ayn Rand sheds a salty tear.
When does he give it up?
IMAD Mughniyah is dead.
Imad Mughniyah is dead, killed in Damascus by a car bomb at the age of 45. Mughniyah was believed to have been Hezbollah’s chief of military operations, and his assassination marks the first time a major figure in the movement has been killed since secretary-general Abbas Musawi in 1992—an assassination which brought the current secretary-general, Hasan Nasrallah, to power.
CAN ‘T pay your mortgage:
WASHINGTON – The Bush administration and six major mortgage lenders unveiled their latest response to the continuing turmoil in the housing market, offering to “pause” the foreclosure process for seriously troubled homeowners.
Although the announcement of “Project Lifeline” was couched in tones of optimism, officials cautioned that it is only an incremental step that would not guarantee help for every homeowner facing the loss of their home.
“No program can bring every struggling borrower into the counseling and evaluation process, and we cannot help those who choose not to honor their obligations,” said Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson. “None of these …
Project Lifeline will indeed help, but not as much as some would like:
The pilot program, dubbed Project Lifeline, is supported by Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson and will further encourage borrower contact as well as broaden Paulson’s moratorium announced in December, 2007, which froze interest rates on certain adjustable-rate mortgages, to include all kinds of home loans. Homeowners won’t qualify for the 30-day-freeze if they are in bankruptcy, if they already have a foreclosure date within 30 days or if the loan was for an investment or vacant property.