We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.
No, not by standing alongside Ms Conley and so looking fitter and younger. Conley is a health and weight guru.
It’s by watching what you eat and exercising. And by taking vitamins, which the Sunday Express also advertises on its front page.
But if you really want to look young, why not wear a hood and look ten, 20, 30 years younger.
If you can equip your youthful look with a refer, a bottle of alcopops and someone else’s wallet, then so much the younger…
Clinton and Obama fight it out on Wikipedia
TERMINAL FIVE – handling the baggage handlers:
Baggage handlers are obviously complements to a baggage handling system – one’s useless without the other. And it’s a basic principle of economics that complementary assets should be run by the same boss, to ensure that they work together. And yet BAA and BA have contrived to ignore this; BAA runs the system whilst BA provides the staff.
This is not a sophisticated principle. It’s grasped perfectly well by the Archers, for example.
THE Real flesh and blood Homer Simpson…
THE Queen of Soul against Peta:
Never one to shy away from controversy, PETA US has offered to pay Aretha Franklin’s $19,000 home foreclosure tax bill… on the condition that she ditches the fur for good and donates her unwanted furs to PETA US like Mariah Carey and Kim Cattrall have done in the past. I think that’s a pretty fair deal, don’t you?
WHAT kind of a company would sponsor Earth Hour, the
…latest bright idea from the country that gave us “Crocodile Dundee” is to have everyone across the globe turn off their lights for an hour at 8 p.m. Saturday.
Apparently, a bunch of neo-Luddites in Sydney did this last year and it made them feel good about themselves, so they’ve decided to give the rest of the world a chance to achieve a similar sense of self-worth?
A pet food company…
AL Gore and the Al Goreans are massing:
They’ll pick one of their own superdelegates, Al Gore, Mr. Party Elder, Mr. Nobel Prize, Mr.
I-Got-Screwed-Out-of-Victory-Last-Time and Mr.
Trust-Me-the-Globe-Really-Is-Round-and-Warming and I’m finally gonna get a chance to do something about it from the White House. The Draft Gore folks will be ecstatic and the Democratic blogosphere is already excited.
Gore – the man who lost to Bush…
JOANNA Lumley is stading for political office.
Chaps of a certain age will visualise La Lumley with that shocking 70s haircut that she sported in ‘The New Avengers’ (the last British series to be networked in the States, apparently) , others will think of her as in that dire comedy with the one of French & Saunders not married to Lenny Henry. Doubtless there are other options, but there she is in the list for the English Democrats, at #9.
It would appear that there are two Lumleys, and this one looks to be quite youthful, so I would think that either her parents refused to have a television or had a sadistic streak. Unless she changed it herself, of course.
I think it is fair to say she will not get elected this time.
VOTE Max Wank for a better life in Germany:
Over 800 town hall employees make more than £100,000 a year. Some even make more than Polly, if you can believe that.
SAYS the holocaust-education.net:
In these words Halina Olomucki relates to the works of art she produced in the Warsaw ghetto and in Auschwitz. She was one of many artists who continued to paint and draw in the ghettos and concentration camps. As well as bearing witness to the rich and intensive artistic activity that took place during the Holocaust, these works of art – mostly sketches or watercolors – provide valuable information on the life of the inmates. They are historical documents, and the first to acknowledge their importance were the artists themselves.
The real victims of the credity crunch are wives, interior decorators, Martignettis…
THE X-Files borefest predicted 9/11 and the World Trade Center murders:
Anyway, Variety asked these people about the bizarre “coincidences” between the X-Files, its short-lived 2001 spin-off The Lone Gunmen, and why Condi Rice is such a terrible liar. This is because the pilot episode of The Lone Gunmen is about corrupt Defense contractors and evil government officials flying a passenger jet into the World Trade Center so they can blame it on terrorists and start a lucrative series of anti-terror wars to boost defense-sector profits in the post-Cold War era. This was shown in May 2001 on FOX, and it got such terrible ratings that nobody noticed it was about 9/11, which happened a few months later…
Get one for your children. It’s this year’s must-have coffin.
Get one with a motor and drive the nippers to school in it. You can never be too safe…
“Quantum Sleepers can also be fitted to provide protection from destructive forces of nature such as tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes and floods.”
People, of Tewkesbury-under-river listen up:
“With this unit you don’t have to run to a ‘Safe Room’, you’re already in it.”
It’s like Switzerland, but less wooden…
New York City residents are growing obese at a rate nearly three times that of other Americans, prompting some who cited a link between weight gain and smoking cessation to question whether the city’s crackdown on smoking may have had an unexpected result.
In a new study, city health officials found that obesity and diabetes rates here increased 17% between 2002 and 2004. By contrast, there was a 6% increase in national obesity rates during that time, and no significant increase in the rate of diabetes. City residents also gained 10 million pounds collectively during the two-year period, researchers found. The findings were reported in the April issue of the journal Preventing Chronic Disease.
Smoking meat makes it last longer – it preseves…
ELIOT Spitzer and ablonde. Well, at least he like variety…
THE bendy silcon chip you can put it anything:
Normally fragile and brittle silicon chips have been made to bend and fold, paving the way for a new generation of flexible electronic devices.
The stretchy circuits could be used to build advanced brain implants, health monitors or smart clothing.
BRITNEY Spears is to appear on the West End stage – maybe.
Britney Spears has been offered the lead female role in the forthcoming West End production of Tennessee Williams’ A Streetcar Named Desire, it has been claimed.
The troubled star — who earlier this week helped CBS sitcom ‘How I Met Your Mother’ achieve its highest ever rating — would be following in the footsteps of actress Vivien Leigh if she decided to play the role of tragic alcoholic Blanche DuBois.
The kindness of strangers – the strangess of kinder eggs…
ANORAK looks at the matter of race in the race for the White House – Barak Obama, Hillary Clinton and John McCain…
Danger ! Draft Constitutional Renewal Bill Part 6 tries to remove even the limited constitutional safeguards of the “destroy Parliament” Legislative and Regulatory Reform Act 2006
We were going to comment initially on the
Draft Governance of Britain – Constitutional Renewal Bill (.pdf 98 pages)
regarding the welcome plan to repeal sections 132 to 138 of the Serious Organised Crime Act 2005, which has chilled free speech and freedom of assembly in the over large Designated Area around Parliament Square and Millbank and Whitehall etc. – see the Parliament Protest blog
This repeal appears prominently as Part 1 Clause 1 of the draft Bill, however, any joy at this proposed return to the status quo ante, is marred by Part 6 of the Bill,
It looks as if we will have to again go through all the fuss and lobbying that we saw over the wretched Legislative and Regulatory Reform Act 2006, the previous attempt by this Labour Government to neuter Parliament by Order of a Minister.
See the Save Parliament website as a reminder of the dangers to our Parliamentary democracy from the executive branch of Government, which seem to be looming, yet again.
On Politics And Competence:
One reason that the ignorant also tend to be the blissfully self-assured, the researchers believe, is that the skills required for competence often are the same skills necessary to recognize competence.
ALEXANDER Litvinenko’s wife Marina wants a full inquest int her husband’s death:
Officials at the highest levels at the Kremlin have insinuated that my husband’s friends in London killed him “in order to smear Russia”. In a scam worthy of the old KGB, a fringe American journalist was invited to Moscow for an interview with Russian prosecutors, who showed him the British extradition papers – the ones that I am not allowed to see. His “conclusion” – that my husband poisoned himself while smuggling radioactive material for terrorists – was published in a third-rate New York newspaper and then trumpeted in Russia as an American-sourced report. I have to protect my husband’s good name from such dirty tricks. A full inquest would put an end to these kind of smear campaigns.
What odds on that happening?
AMERICAN Pundit has news from within the forbidden country of Tibet:
If you want to see what is happening in Tibet, and you can bear to look at it, then they are at Tibet Protest Photos March 14-17, 2008 with links to videos. Before you click, I repeat that these are forensic photos of Tibetans who have been violently killed. You’ve been warned.
Do you need to see to know?
AN add of classified ad site Craigslist shows a baby covered in mud or food being held by an adult.
Text with the ad reads: “We are out of tweak and we will sell this baby for a thousand dollars.”
Tweak is another word for methamphetamine, Local 6 reported.
All this is dressed up in glowing terms as, “a new Franco-British brotherhood,” with Nick telling us that we ought to get together as “we have the same enemies throughout the world.” Not quite right is that.
He forgot to count the French.