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Before she was Sabrina, she was Norma Sykes of Stockport, Cheshire. A junior swimming champion (breaststroke, naturally) at the age of 12, she might have become a ‘golden girl’ of the pool. Alternatively, she could have ended up working at her mum’s B&B in Blackpool.
An attack of polio changed everything. Two years in hospital (where doctors operated and considered amputation) were followed by months of rehab in the pool and gym. What didn’t kill her made her stronger, and her well-developed arms, legs and pecs would serve her well when she upped sticks and headed for the Smoke at the age of 16.
The big break came two years later in February 1955. Arthur Askey was fronting a BBC television show, Before Your Very Eyes, and he wanted a ‘dumb-cluck’ for comic purposes. Norma was in the right place at the right time. She was 18 years of age, with a new hair colour (peroxide blonde), a bigger-than-ever bust (42 inches), a smaller-than-ever waist (17 inches), and, courtesy of Askey, a new name that nobody would be allowed to forget.
THE new Anorak site is almost ready.
New site. New writers.
Stourton, the presenter of the Today programme, has penned a book on political correctness and why we could for so long not call the Queen Mum a spoon-fed, wooden-toothed old soak and had to prefix such opinion with “The dear old is a…”
Stourton understands protocol and reveals the content of a private conversation with her in the early 1990s.
HEADLINE off the day: “Aboriginal pawns in nanny state’s porn game.”
The Australian fails to follow up the zippy headline all that much fun. Readers get a story about racism in Australia and how porn demoinses Aborigines who might look at it.
We live, of course, in a post-racial world. Barack Obama told us that.
THE post-racial Obama:
Barack Obama should set drastic targets to force the US to switch to renewable energy in an effort to slow down climate change, according to the former vice president Al Gore. Gore said that one of Obama’s first acts as US president should be to demand a move to 100% renewable energy within 10 years.
“We can do that,” he said
The news from an MI5 leaked paper is chilling:
RIGHT now the Blue Peter Garden is being made ready for the first arrivals in the I’m A Celebrity Jungle.
Celebrity gnomes Ant (left) and Dec (right) are stood among the lawn of elephant grass through which eyeless pink snakes slither.
But there is trouble in paradise.
The Star brings news that one of the celebrity ornaments has decided to quit the show before it has even begun.
GLITTER remains on open sale, Glitter bins lurk in our parks and on our pavements and now to compound the madness Gary Glitter is to be studied by GCSE students.
And not students of crime, rather students in music.
“OUTRAGE,” screams the Sun’s own leader. “OUTRAGE,” echoes the Mail. “OUTRAGE,” screams the chorus.
Readers see a list of songs approved for study by the Assessment and Qualification Alliance exam board.
Says one deputy headmaster – “a dad of two”:
The proportion of infants arriving at school not knowing whether they are right or left-handed has trebled in the past decade, researchers say. The situation has been made worse by excessive parental fears, driven by cot death, about letting them lie or crawl on their front – Daiy Telegraph
This one from the Tabloid Times got the lot: bad science; anxious parents; dead babies; and stupidity
Fingers crossed (get a friend to help) the little loves survive and thanks to Play Station and porn work out which hand is best…
DEREK Draper is not just a GMTV’s host shag bunny:
There are 17 people in the blogsphere who matter and Derek Draper isn’t one of them. A while back there was talk of Mandy’s former assistant and lobbying sleazebag-in-chief leading Labour’s assault against the right-wing bloggers. Well Tory Bear can’t help but think this assault might well have begun. There was talk this week of a meeting of Draper’s attack squad that included some lefty bloggers…
Attacked by bloggers…
Today the Mail is offering its readers “A Top Ten Toy”. Exciting stuff. What will your toy be? A dolly? A teddy? A sticky?
To the Toy Hall of Fame where visitors are ogling the new exhibit:
The lowly stick, a universal plaything powered by a child’s imagination, landed in the National Toy Hall of Fame on Thursday…
McCAIN’S call to Sarah Palin was just a joke:
Now that the election is over, bits and pieces of campaign secrets are starting to see the light of day. The most shocking of these so far: Governor Sarah Palin was not supposed to be Senator John McCain’s choice for running mate.
“The Palin phenomenon is actually the result of a practical joke gone haywire,” admitted Rick Davis, former McCain campaign manager. “John was a guest on the Morning Madness radio show on Phoenix’s KZZP, hosted by Fireball Frantic and Gene the Bean. When Frantic asked McCain which political figure was the least qualified to be his running mate, McCain mentioned an obscure governor from who was an ex-beauty queen. Frantic insisted McCain prove he was still young enough to be ‘with it’ and insisted he make that call to Alaska.”
“It was just a joke,” McCain recalls, “but she was so sincere and so excited, I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was just kidding. The hardest thing about it,” admits McCain, “was having to tell my real selection — Senator Joe Lieberman — that he was, well, not a chosen person when it came to being the veep.”
If you want a sense of how the election of Barack Obama is being seen across the world in this post-coital period, one little anecdote for me says it all. I spent yesterday trawling the shops in here in London for Stars and Stripes to decorate my apartment for my Presidential election party – and across the city they were all sold out.
Why’s that then?
Spotter: Michael K.
THE Bali Bombers are no more. Killed by the State. Executed.
Executed Bali nightclub bombers Ali Ghufron, 48, alias Mukhlas his brother Amrozi Nurhasyim, 47, and right Imam Samudera – alias Abdul Aziz – the ringleader, 47, seeing the funny side of it while talking to journalists in jail last week – SMH
They murdered 202 people. Their executions will have serious repercussions in Indonesia (the largest Muslim country) at the very least.
DAILY MAIL: “A mother leaves her child while she goes out – and returns to an empty house. No, not the McCann case but the true story behind a gripping new film”
Fact. Fiction. Can you spot the difference?
She was a devoted mother, hard-working, determined and tough. Then, one spring morning, Christine Collins kissed her little child goodbye (leaving him under the eye of neighbours), before returning in the evening to an empty house. Her beloved son had vanished without a trace.
OBAMA. C’mon guys, let’s get behind the everyman. Jim Treacher notes:
And I forgot to mention the whole deal with, y’know, the last 8 years of lefty rage? It’s just become such a part of the scenery, you almost forget sometimes. Plus Obama’s voter fraud and credit-card fraud and constant lies about his past and false accusations of racism and the fact that he’s already making far-left appointments and he wants to shut down talk radio because he can’t handle criticism and all that other silly stuff we all need to get past now because we’re going to need to work extra hard to pay for our own oppression. Whoops, there I go again!
IS there anything after Z-list. It’s the Soup Nazi. He does parties. No list for you!
OBAMA is ma gangsta ho:
His first official condemnation should be directed at black racists, the sexist, criminal gangsta culture and losers who choose victimhood over individual responsibility.
BARACK Obama Watch: Obama is black-ish. America is reinvented. And in Austria Klaus Emmerich, the retired editor-in-chief of Austrian broadcaster ORF’s news and current affairs service, an expert on U.S. affairs says:
“I do not want the western world being directed by a black man. And if you say this is a racist remark, I say you are damn right it is.”
That’s one in the eye for the bigots who say the media is controlled by Jews. It’s not. It’s the Austrians who hold sway. Austrians own everything.
BARACK OBAMA watch:
“The most meaningful thing that has ever happened.”
Should we question it? Well, no we can’t:
WHITNEY Houston: is that you?