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News | Anorak - Part 478

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We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.

Northern Ireland: Prosecuted For Not Registering To Vote

SLUGGER notes: “Win or lose an Antrim man will be setting legal history as the first person to be prosecuted for not registering to vote. There are an estimated 200,000 people not registered in Northern Ireland.”

Ian Withers of Potterswalls, Antrim faces a fine of up to £1,000 if convicted in the case, which may be the first of its kind in the UK. He has already denied a charge of failing to provide information to the Chief Electoral Officer under the requirements of the Representation of the People Act. A date for his full trial before Antrim Magistrates is due to be set when he next appears on June 3.

Posted: 26th, May 2008 | In: Politicians, Twitterings | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Liverpool Daily Post Celebrates Big Night Of Football

WORDSDEPARTMENT spots something in the The Liverpool Daily Post:

EVERTON youngsters are celebrating a fine tournament success after winning the under-13s girls Premier League Schools Tournament…

“In fairness, they did mention the Champion’s League final in passing. It was part of a story about a £1.5m cash bonus for Everton thanks to the fine print in Wayne Rooney’s transfer deal to Man United in 2004.”

Calm down…

 

Posted: 26th, May 2008 | In: Back pages, Tabloids, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Why The US Burns Oil

John-Paul Flintoff looks at why the US wants us to keep on burning oil…

Posted: 26th, May 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Global Warming, Twitterings | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Daily Express Immigration Fuel Protest

burning-daily-express.jpg“GREAT PETROL REVOLT BEGINS,” says the Express on its front page.

“WIN A CAMPER VAN + 4 BIKES,” trills the paper’s other front-page teaser.

Can these two headlines be related?

And what then of the paper’s other notice, that it costs 40p, which is still 10p cheaper then the Daily Mail?

Anorak has set fire to copy of each newspaper and can say that while the Express burns for longer it does so with a deep yellow flame with barely enough potency to toast an immigrant’s innersoles.

We even stuffed a few pages (the TV guide) into the petrol tank of an immigrants’ car and sped off on our bicycles, so combining the Express’ three stories into one call to action.

Imagine our surprise and dismay when the police arrived, not on bikes but in gas-guzzling cars.

That it should come to this…


Posted: 26th, May 2008 | In: Global Warming, Immigration, Money, Tabloids | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Daily Kos: Vote Obama Or Enlist For War

OVER on the Daily Kos the  woolly thinking ai that a no vote for Obama is a vote for war. You may recall Tony Blair’s ethical foreign policy and his subsequent wars

If you’re going to help McCain get elected, you need to take responsibility for your actions. This election is bigger than you. It’s bigger than Barack Obama. It’s bigger than Hillary Clinton. Lives will be saved or lost depending on who is elected in November, and if you’re going to willfully help prolong the war, it’s time to do the honorable thing and enlist.

Click here to locate a U.S. Army recruiter in your area.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 25th, May 2008 | In: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Politicians, Race For The White House, Twitterings, War On Terror | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Keeping Swiss Time: Euthanasia And Time

THE Swiss run like clockwork:

Every day at exactly nine, 12 and four, the offices were all empty, and the elevators up to the staff restaurant were all full.

Why? Morning coffee, lunch and afternoon coffee it turned out. Always at the same time.

Not because the company ordered it but because the Swiss do it that way.

They have legalised euthanasia in Switzerland…

Posted: 25th, May 2008 | In: Strange But True, Twitterings | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Denise Richards Is Like A Pig In Shi*

DENISE Richards is the star of “DENISE RICHARDS: IT’S COMPLICATED” .

The review:

Denise Richards’ life is one steaming pile of pig poop.

Literally.

Posted: 25th, May 2008 | In: Celebrities, TV & Radio, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Rachel Ray’s Suicide Dinners: Cooking The War On Terror

rachel-ray-donuts.jpgRACHEL Ray is a TV cook in the US.

She’s also the hips and gunt of Dunkin’ Donuts, the revolting lumps of fat Americans eat while watching Rachel tell them about moulding fat into three-course meals.

Rachel comes up with abbreviations like EVOO (short for extra virgin olive oil), so that fat Americans don’t have to waste too much breathe between mouthfuls of syrup.

Now Rachel has courted what passes for controversy by appearing in a Dunkin’ Donuts adverts wearing what Michelle Malkin, an uptight American blogger, calls a “jihadi chic keffiyeh”.

Asks Malkin: “Is Ray’s blunder worth boycotting DD over?”

It’s a puzzler, and one Charles Johnson, another prominent US blogger, considers in “Mainstreaming Terrorism to Sell Donuts.”

Rachel Ray’s Last Suppers 

It’s hard not be outraged and appalled. Ray should be shot or else have the scarf burnt off, preferably while she is still wearing it. Doesn’t Ray know the War On Terror (WOT) is raging and she needs to act accordingly?

Jamie Oliver (who is often seen wearing a burka and wiry beard) would have worked out that Ray should be campaigning for better food for terrorists.

In Al-A-Carte, Rachel will tour the world’s trouble spots trying to buy junk food while inviting various despots and terror leaders to cook their favourite last meals against the clock.

The dishes will then be served up to suicide bombers on their way to a date with the virgins.

Anorak suggests Ray goes with something with not too much garlic and lots of carbs…

Picture

Posted: 25th, May 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Celebrities, Food & Fat, Jamie Oliver, War On Terror | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Allah Has It In For Muslim Extremists

SUICIDE bombers get one shot at fame – unless they are really useless – says Rod Liddle on the UK’s exploding population:

Time after time Muslim fanatics attempt to wreak devastation in Britain – and succeed only in blowing themselves up, or setting themselves on fire, or their explosives refuse to do the decent thing and explode – while we infidel cockroaches look on in bemusement, quite unharmed …

They are either extraordinarily useless or Allah has got it in for them.

Freedom for Cornwall… (and Devon)

Posted: 25th, May 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Twitterings, War On Terror | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


UN Ban-ki Moon’s Final Nail In The Coffin Of Global-Warming Sceptics

GLOBAL warming is a UN fact for Ban-ki Moon:

Addiction is a terrible thing. It consumes and controls us, makes us deny important truths and blinds us to the consequences of our actions. Our world is in the grip of a dangerous carbon habit“.

And:

Our dependence on carbon-based energy has caused a significant build-up of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. Last year, the Nobel Peace Prize-winning Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change put the final nail in the coffin of global-warming sceptics. We know that climate change is happening, and we know that carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases that we emit are the cause“.

More facts here…

Posted: 25th, May 2008 | In: Bad Science, Global Warming, Politicians, Twitterings | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


How Long Before Obama Is Gerald Ford?

WHERE’S Barack?

Last week, Obama couldn’t tell Sioux City from Sioux Falls. Yesterday, he couldn’t tell Sunrise from Sunshine. These aren’t the most egregious mistakes in the world — they don’t compare to, say, claiming that a president should meet with terrorist financiers without asking them to stop paying for terrorism — but they do show at least a little incompetence in handling information and details. How many times did Gerald Ford bump his head before comedians started portraying the former star athlete as an uncoordinated boob?

What Obama character traits will the satirists pick up on?

Posted: 24th, May 2008 | In: Barack Obama, Politicians, Race For The White House, Twitterings | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Pyjamas In Shanghai, And Dewsbury

pajamas-china.jpgSNAPPER Justin Guariglia has just published a book called Planet Shanghai:

The prevalence of pyjamas, Guariglia explained to me, was due to both the extreme summer heat and the lack of plumbing. Most Shanghaians share outdoor communal toilets and thus the boundaries of what was considered one’s home have expanded past people’s houses to the public bathrooms. Once that relaxation of the dress code became acceptable (starting around the 1980s) the perimeter for p.j.-wear just kept expanding until many people were wearing them day in day out.

They wear them in Dewsbury, too…

Spotter 

Posted: 24th, May 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Strange But True, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


John McCain’s Health Matters

Jonathan Cohn in The Plank: We will learn about McCain’s health

Posted: 24th, May 2008 | In: John McCain, Politicians, Race For The White House, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Exeter Bomber: Nicky Reilly And The Islamic Republic Of Cornwall

“BRAINWASHED at the chip shop,” screams the Sun’s front-page headline. Is this a chilling insight into the war on obesity?

Why not?

The tabloids are fond of linking themes, and if Madeleine McCann can somehow be placed at the scene and the chip wallah be persuaded to comment on how the rising cost of vegetable oil has forced him to cook in green diesel, then we have a story that says so much about today’s Britain.

In King’s Fry fish and chip bar, the Sun sees Exeter toilet bomber Nicky Reilly being brainwashed by Muslim men.

It was believed that Reilly, the Star’s “oddball loner”, was on the fringes of a group of radicals based in the West Country, a more heavily armed version of the Worzells, albeit exchanging combine harvesters for keys and ammunition.

We should take care not to mock those sons of the West Country. Last year the Cornish National Liberation Army (CNLA) threatened to burn down one of celebrity chef Rick Stein’s businesses in Padstow.

The group also said Fifteen – a restaurant set up by Essex product Jamie Oliver – was a legitimate target because Oliver was an “incomer” who was hurting local people by driving up house prices and living costs.

Readers will note that Reilly’s device exploded in Giraffe, an eatery founded in Hampstead, London. Exeter is in Devon, granted, but Devon and Cornwall constabulary work in tandem and the CNLA claims links with Welsh nationalists and other “Celtic nations”.

The Sun says that the relatively complex construction of the explosive devices suggests they were not put together by Reilly, “who has a very low IQ”. The Telegraph says they were constructed from sodium hydroxide, aluminium foil strips and an essential oil, combined with kerosene. It was confirmed that there were three devices in a bag packed with nails.

Reilly’s bombs were dangerous, although Reilly, who has lacerations to his face, was more of danger to himself.

But we wonder if his conversation to Islam is a smokescreen and that the brains behind the plot are rooted in Cornwall, the Islamic Republic known locally as The Iranian Riviera..?

Posted: 24th, May 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Tabloids, War On Terror | Comments (11) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Weezer’s YouTube All Stars

WEEZER’S video for their song Pork and Beans fearues the YouTube all stars:

Posted: 23rd, May 2008 | In: Anorak TV, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


When Bodybuilders Go Too Far

BODYBUILDERS: You can be too big:

body_builder_4sfw.gif

Via 

Posted: 23rd, May 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Strange But True, Twitterings | Comments (15) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Bad Science: Maths Students Are Slovenly Losers

maths.jpgPRAVDA offers an insight into the UK: “Young men try to avoid studying mathematical disciplines and using mathematical skills due to unfavorable image of mathematicians, the British Economic and Social Research Council suggested.

“It turns out that schoolchildren and students share the following idea of the average mathematician: they are unworldly, slovenly and unpopular with women…

“The research suggested that most students and graduates associate a mathematician with an old middle-class white man who is obsessed by his science, devoid of most social skills and love life.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 23rd, May 2008 | In: Bad Science | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Religion Of Environmentalism

THE Al Goreans are among us:

At its core, environmentalism is a kind of nature worship. It’s a holistic ideology, shot through with religious sentiment. “If you look carefully,” author Michael Crichton observed, “you see that environmentalism is in fact a perfect 21st century remapping of traditional Judeo-Christian beliefs and myths.”

The book of Gore…

Posted: 23rd, May 2008 | In: Global Warming, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Buy A Honda Clarity, Kill A Polar Bear

POLAR Bear Watch: Anorak’s look at polar bears in the news

The new Honda Clarity emits water:

Problem is, when it comes to global warming, water vapor is enemy number one: “Water vapor constitutes Earth’s most significant greenhouse gas, accounting for about 95% of Earth’s greenhouse effect.”

So buy a Clarity and kill the polar bears!

But not German polar bears…

Posted: 23rd, May 2008 | In: Global Warming, Polar Bear Watch, Twitterings | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Scientology Can Be A Cult: UK Police Drop Legal Action

IN the UK, Scientology can be called a cult – because it is:

Legal action has been dropped against a 15-year-old who faced prosecution for branding Scientology a “cult”.

The teenager held up a sign which read, “Scientology is not a religion, it is a dangerous cult”, in May outside its headquarters in the City of London.

City of London Police said it had received complaints and warned the teenager to get rid of the sign as it breached the Public Order Act.

Human rights campaigners vowed to take action against the police.

Lawyers for the human rights group Liberty represented the teenager in his legal battle.

James Welch from the organisation said: “The police may have ended their inquiries into this tawdry incident but rest assured that Liberty’s inquiry will continue.

“Democracy is all about clashing ideas and the police should protect peaceful protest, not stifle it”…

Cult:

A Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) spokesman said: “In consultation with the City of London Police, we were asked whether the sign was abusive or insulting.

“Our advice is that it is not abusive or insulting and there is no offensiveness (as opposed to criticism), neither in the idea expressed nor in the mode of expression.”

A spokeswoman for the City of London Police said: “The CPS review of the case includes advice on what action or behaviour at a demonstration might be considered to be ‘threatening, abusive or insulting’.

“The force’s policing of future demonstrations will reflect this advice.”

Posted: 23rd, May 2008 | In: Strange But True, Twitterings | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Shannon Matthews: Fags, Lags And Craig Meehan

matthews460.jpgTHE Sun says that a “tobacco bounty” has been placed on Craig Meehan’s head, “stepdad” No. 349831b to Shannon Matthews.

The reward for beating up Meehan is, reportedly, ten ounces of “prison baccy – worth about £8.”

Meehan is worth much more than Karen Matthews, whose head commands the princely sum of ten Lambert & Butler fags.

Says a source at Armley jail, Leeds: “Tobacco is a precious commodity inside. There are people who will do anything to get it, including attacking other inmates.”

The tabloids are fond of publishing insights into life behind bars, a polarised place where prisoners are either sipping cocktails in cushy cells or sat 32 to a cell, injecting pureed rats and listening to Tannoy broadcasts of “Conversations With Sir Cliff – Musing On Life, Jesus and Tennis”.

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Posted: 23rd, May 2008 | In: News, Shannon Matthews, Tabloids | Comments (10) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mark Steele On Raytheon

IN Northern Ireland: “There’s a trial currently taking place in Belfast, that seems to explain plainly how nothing makes any sense. It revolves around a factory owned by the arms company Raytheon, which was set up in Derry soon after the IRA ceasefire. John Hume, who’d just won the Nobel Peace Prize was among those who announced the opening of the plant, welcoming it as a result of the ‘peace dividend'”

Read on

Posted: 23rd, May 2008 | In: Politicians, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Colombian Vice President Says Amy Winehouse Is Killing The Planet And Us

HAVING failed in its attempt to have Amy Winehouse jailed, the Sun is going about the world armed with a petition that demands the singer is locked up.

drugs-colombia.jpgToday Colombian Vice President Francisco Santos says Winehouse should be “sent to rehab”.

(Picture: Beau Bo D’Or)

Santos is something of an expert on UK celebrities having opined of Kate Moss: “To me, it’s baffling that someone who helps cause so much pain in Colombia is doing better then ever.”

Adding: “I never once heard her says ‘I’m sorry’, when in Colombia people die every day because of cocaine consumption – that hurts.”

Now Santos is talking of Winehouse. “I know about her, she’s a mess. I don’t think she understands the harm cocaine does to my country… Not only does it kill, displace and mutilate people in Colombia, it destroys our wonderful forests. The environmental damage is catastrophic.”

Senor Santos makes a powerful argument. Winehouse is an accessory to murder, a mutilator and above all else a planet hater driving her 4×4 back and forth over Mother Nature’s throat.

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Posted: 23rd, May 2008 | In: Amy Winehouse, Celebrities, Global Warming, Tabloids | Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Nicky Reilly Is Exeter’s Light Bulb Jihadist

nicky-reilly.jpgNICKY Reilly emerges from a bomb blast in a cafe toilet covered in blood — moaning that Muslims had been unfairly treated.

And other day, and another example of idiotic Islamists at work?

In “Maniac Muslim bombs Café”, the Sun 22-year-old Reilly journey to the Giraffe restaurant at Princesshay shopping centre in Exeter.

The Mail adds: “Giraffe is a national chain of restaurants which are popular with families as they give out balloons and crayons to children.”

This fact opens up a new arena of possibility, not least of all that mentally negligible Reilly did not qualify for a free yellow balloon nor the chance to colour in a picture of a Giraffe eating a pizza.

Over at the eatery, architect Peter Lacey, 63, and his wife Celia, 60, are speaking with the Mail.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 23rd, May 2008 | In: Tabloids, War On Terror | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Dial M For Madonna

madonna-mcdonalds.jpgIN Los Angeles, there’s an exhibtion of Madonna-inspired art.

World of Wonder Storefront Gallery
6650 Hollywood Blvd.
Los Angeles,CA,90028

Posted: 23rd, May 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Celebrities, Twitterings | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0