News Category

We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.

Wiggles Take Australia For Fourth Year In Row

CELEBRATING Australian culture:

The Wiggles have been named Australia’s highest-grossing performers for the fourth year in a row.

Are they like the Minogues, but taller?

Posted: 14th, September 2008 | In: News | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Tabloid Bingo With Hurricane Ike: Associated Press Adds Up The Dead

HURRICANE Ike is upon us. Reports are that many are dead. How many? Many. Many!! As the Associated Press confirms:

Four deaths were blamed on the storm: Two in Louisiana, and five in Texas.

How bad is it? How bad do you want it to be…?

Posted: 14th, September 2008 | In: News | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sarah Palin’s F*ck Me Shoes

SARAH Palin’s glasses. Sarah Plain’s hair. And now Sarah Palins f*ck me shoes:

All this, taken together, goes far beyond Maureen Dowd’s searing revelation that Sarah Palin wears shoes that are really intended for much younger women.

Jezz. Next we’ll be talking about Sarah Palin’s womb…

Posted: 14th, September 2008 | In: News | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Western Immunisation Plot To Make Muslims Infertile

THE West wants to make Muslims infertile.

The chief of a village in northern Nigeria has been suspended from office for divorcing his wife because she had her children immunised against polio.

Buluma Ali has been ordered to re-unite with his wife or face “dethronement”.

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Posted: 14th, September 2008 | In: News | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Why The CIA Reads Your Newspapers

THE CIA reads your local newspapers every morning because:

We have found, pushing analysts forward into the area in which they report, the things they think about, accelerates this experiential curve.  And why does it accelerate the experiential curve?  Because the first newspaper they read in the morning is a local newspaper in the local language; the last thing they look at, at night before they go to bed is the local news in the local language. They know whether things are comfortable or uncomfortable, the population is tight or relaxed because they’re on the metro with them, I mean, all of those things that an attaché can absorb, we’re trying to do that for our analysts as well.”

Local news is where it all begins…

Posted: 13th, September 2008 | In: News | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Global Warming: Vandals For Mother Nature

YOU can protest agsoint Kingsnorth Coal Plant if you can prove a link between it and global warming.

This from the Greenpeace website:

“The defence was that they had ‘lawful excuse’ – because they were acting to protect property around the world “in immediate need of protection” from the impacts of climate change, caused in part by burning coal.”

As Alex Lockwood says:

For example, protecting both the lowlying islands of Tuvalu, as well as the Kent coastline. NASA’s James Hansen testified that Kingsnorth could directly result in the extinction of 400 species due to climate change. The jurors were convinced, and acquitted all six campaigners. Some more background and analysis on lawful excuse.

Old Mr Anorak once obtained a policeman’s helmet in Belgravia, offering the plea before the Beak that he needed it to see if it suited him and would thus allow him satisfy his ambition to become a copper…

Posted: 13th, September 2008 | In: News | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sarah Plain’s ‘Paglian Chthonic Sexual Power’

WILL Wilkinson, a Research Fellow at the Cato Institute in Washington, D.C., enjoys Sarah Palin’s sex appeal:

First, let me just get it out of the way: I think she is a tremendously sexy woman. How this will effect the race, I have no idea, but it’s just got to. It’s not an issue of glamour so much as a kind of Paglian chthonic sexual power. Set in that context, her unabashed embrace of her fecundity and motherhood as a kind of qualification makes a lot of sense.

Chthonic?…

…(from Greek χθόνιος khthonios “of the earth”, from khthōn “earth”; pertaining to the Earth; earthy; subterranean) designates, or pertains to, deities or spirits of the underworld, especially in relation to Greek religion.

Do clever words impress Sarah Palin – big foreign-sounding words?

Posted: 13th, September 2008 | In: News | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sarah Palin Regurgitates Republican Cathecisms

ROD Dreher likes Sarah Palin and hears her speaking on the record, and like a record:

I don’t expect a state governor to be able to converse about foreign affairs with the depth of a SAIS adjunct professor, or even a grad student. What I was looking for was not factual precision, but a sense of how she thinks, and where her instincts pointed. What I got was either a) distressing on its face if she really does have that unsubtle a view of the world, given what we’ve all lived through in the past seven years, or b) she doesn’t know much, and is regurgitating the Republican platitudes in which she’s been abruptly catechized.
Sarah Palin is only interested in America. As, judging by the press in the UK, are we…

Posted: 13th, September 2008 | In: News | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


A Fatwa On Channel 4, Channel 5 And Richard Desmond

THE head of Saudi Arabia’s Supreme Judiciary Council says its OK to kill broadcasters of filth, depravation and debauchery. Richard Desmond, the BBC, the makers of Deal Or No Deal, and pretty much all British broadcasters are doomed:

A senior Saudi cleric has issued a religious decree saying the owners of television networks broadcasting “depravation and debauchery” may be killed, Al-Arabiya television reported on Friday.

“The owners of these channels propagate depravation and debauchery,” said Saleh al-Luhaidan, chief justice of the supreme judicial council, the highest judicial authority in the ultra-conservative Saudi kingdom…

“It is lawful to kill … the apostles of depravation… if their evil cannot be easily removed through simple sanctions,” Luhaidan said, according to excerpt of the remarks broadcast on the Saudi-owned Al-Arabiya.

Turn the radio off, or kill the speaker. Tricky one…

Posted: 12th, September 2008 | In: News | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Poor Barack Obama Is Taking Advice From Michael Dukakis

BARACK Obama. who he. He not Sarah Palin, that who he. Barack Obama needs help. And here come Micahel Dukakis. Who he? Oh, yeah, him

Posted: 12th, September 2008 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Bernie Marks Gets Bar Mitzvahed At 78

WELL, at last his voice won’t break during the service:

A little nervous and plenty excited, Bernie Marks practiced Torah chanting Tuesday for his upcoming bar mitzvah ceremony, the symbolic Jewish passage into manhood.

Marks stood at the bimah, or stage, at Sacramento’s Congregation B’Nai Israel, chanting the Torah in a deep, beautifully haunting voice quite different than the 13-year-olds also preparing for their passage.

Marks is 78 – a Holocaust survivor. When he was 13 – before the family was taken to the Auschwitz concentration camp – they lived in a Jewish ghetto in Poland under the rule of Nazi soldiers, who forbid Jewish religious practices.

Bet he can’t wait to open his gifts, and that nice new burgundy briefcase and the identity bracelet…

Oh, the pain…

Posted: 12th, September 2008 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sarah Plain Is Bulletproof

HOLD fire! Sarah Palin cannot be killed by convention(al) weapons:

You must aim your fire at the top of the ticket, John McCain, and not at this beautiful girl, Sarah Palin, about whom you can do nothing.

You can never kill her now. Forget it. She can hurt herself, but in terms of Democratic attacks she is bulletproof. You made her that—she wasn’t that way when she walked in.

Or attack Trig

Posted: 12th, September 2008 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Dutch Say Iraq Is Now Safe For Refugees

IRAQ. We won!

Dutch Deputy Justice Minister Nebahat Albayrak will ask the cabinet tomorrow to revoke a decision to automatically grant a resident permit to refugees from central and southern Iraq. The deputy minister says the security situation in Iraq has improved. Many Iraqi asylum seekers may be forced to return.

Forced to return to a safe country?

Posted: 12th, September 2008 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Watch The World Melting With An Ilulissat Web Cam

WANT to watch the world melting before your very eyes? Live! Then tuen into the Ilulissat ice cap webcam:

A new webcam set up in Ilulissat will allow the world to watch as global warming eats away at Greenland’s ice cap.

The webcam is set up near the Ice Fjord, a Unesco World Heritage Site. The Ilulissat Glacier, which empties into the fjord, is the world’s most active glacier. The glacier moves along at a pace of 22 metres per day and dumps a constant flow of ice into the fjord”.

It’s the EastEnders of global warming…

Spotter

Posted: 12th, September 2008 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sarah Palin Wants Nuclear War

SARAH Palin: “Nuclear War With Russia A Go!

Palin just suggested, that the US would go to war with Russia over Georgia or the Ukraine:

Palin advocated the accession of Georgia and Ukraine into NATO, meaning that if attacked again in the future, the United States would be bound to go to war.

“I mean, that is the agreement when you are a NATO ally, is if another country is attacked, you’re going to be expected to be called upon and help,” she said.

The Left are scared of Sarah Palin…

Posted: 12th, September 2008 | In: News | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Nazi Grrman Jihadis Attack The Channel Tunnel

A FIRE in the Channel Tunnel. The Tunnel is closed. The tabloids react:

DAILY STAR: “TERROR IN THE TUNNEL” – “TERROR FIRE IN TUNNEL – Truckers flee toxic blast hell”

Al Qaeda?

“The lorry was packed with a cargo of liquid phenol, also known as carbolic acid, which was once used by the Nazis to execute prisoners.”

German jihadis!

Posted: 12th, September 2008 | In: News | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


9-11 As Seen From Space

SEVEN years since 9/11, the biggest “Where Were You When…?” event of the last forty years…

Where were you when..?

Posted: 12th, September 2008 | In: News | Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Correction: Sarah Palin Is Tina Fey

Correction: Sarah Palin Is Not Not Tina Fey:

Saturday Night Live creator and executive producer Lorne Michaels said the show is talking with Tina Fey about playing Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin at some point this season, possibly as soon as this Saturday’s season premiere.

Or not

Posted: 11th, September 2008 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sarah Plain Is An Elementary Iditarod

SARAH Palin’s children are not as elite as Barack Obama’s. Really:

It is with huge grief-filled disappointment that I discovered that the Obamas send their children to the University of Chicago Laboratory School (by 5th grade, tuition equals $20,286 a year). The school’s Web site quotes all that ridiculous … nonsense about developing character while, of course, isolating your children from the poor.

He wants poor blacks to vote for him, not befriend his kids. Of course, he’s not the only one:

Not only did John McCain’s four children attend elite private schools in Arizona, but collective donations to their children’s private schools between 2001 and 2006, totaled $500,000

Hmmm. And what about the Hockey Mom, Sarah Palin?

Sarah Palin’s children went to what looks like a humble little public school: Iditarod Elementary on Wasilla Fishhook Road. That’s a lot of street cred, for a gun-totin’, snow-mobilin’ creationist-lovin’ lady.

Iditarod Elementary? Perfect.

Iditarod. Is that Alaskan for snow?

Posted: 11th, September 2008 | In: News | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Best Of British, Gary McKinnon

BRITISH citizen Gary McKinnon, made a mistake, writes John Blake.

He hacked into 97 American military computers, and, now the American government seem to want him to pay a big price.They want McKinnon’s arse. Such is the determination of the American government to nail McKinnon, that its a fair bet that he will face a long sentence in an American prison after being extradited.

What interests me about this case is how the British government(clowns in pin-striped suits?)are happy to bend to American pressure and hand Mckinnon over like an unwanted bag of dirty washing.

So how many English people consider Mckinnon a “terrorist” and a danger to the UK or anyone? I’ve a hunch that comparatively few feel that he is a truly bad guy on the block, and, that any sentencing regarding his behaviour should be in the UK and under British law.

How ironic indeed, that New Labour are happy to dump him across the Atlantic, when there have been numerous reports in the media about British government departments losing highly confidential information, thousands of laptops, and, very important secret CD’s that contained information about millions of British citizens.They certainly deserve a GOLD MEDAL for making so many cock-ups!

So is is just as easy for the British government to get a wanky yank extradited to the UK? Well, apparently not.New Labour’s rear-end seems open wide and 24 hours a day to please the American administration,and the British Home Office and government officials seem so pathetic and callous about protecting a UK citizen.

McKinnon claims he is being made a scapegoat because hacking into sensitive military
computers was “ridiculously easy”. I feel that Mckinnon DID do wrong by poking his nerdy face into America’s business but consider that he should be prosecuted in Britain and under British laws, where the “crime” took place.

There have been loads of cases over over the years where whizz kids with computers have hacked into secret computer files, and exposed joke security.

We certainly now live in times when terrorism and the fight against it is constantly spoken about,but Mckinnon deserved more protection from his own government.If they will behave that way towards him, then the same will apply to anyone.

How interesting to look back and remember that before the attacks on 9/11 that the head of the CIA apparently said that,” he didn’t want to hear anymore talk about the threat of terrorism.” The billions spent on security proving utterly useless when the attacks on the World Trade Centre happened on that tragic and historic day.

Good luck Mr. Mckinnon. Your going to need LOTS of it in the very near future.

John Blake

Posted: 11th, September 2008 | In: News | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


San Antonio Runs On Sh*t

IN San Antonio your movements are being harvested:

San Antonio unveiled a deal on Tuesday that will make it the first U.S. city to harvest methane gas from human waste on a commercial scale and turn it into clean-burning fuel.

San Antonio residents produce about 140,000 tons a year of a substance gently referred to as “biosolids,” which can be reprocessed into natural gas, said Steve Clouse, chief operating officer of the city’s water system.

“You may call it something else,” Clouse said, but for area utilities, the main byproduct of human waste – methane gas – will soon be converted into natural gas to burn in their power plants.

Spotter: Totje

Posted: 11th, September 2008 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Criminal Damge Is Now Legal

CRIMINAL Damage is now legal. At least for Greenpeace it is:

GOOD news for Greenpeace “environmental protestors”, who were cleared of causing criminal damage in order to shut down a coal fired power station.

Read on.

An Earthopoly Of Truth In Kingsnorth

Camping In Kingsnorth With Caroline Lucas

Posted: 11th, September 2008 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


What The Polls Really Say About Obama, McCain And Palin

OBAMA is winning. McCain is winning. Palin bounces like a dead moose. So what;s what?

That change in McCain’s image–or, better, that filling in of McCain’s image–accounts above all for his rise in the polls. Some of the polls have reported massive defections among white women, which they attribute to Sarah Palin’s candidacy, but I don’t believe these are accurate.

I go with Gallup, which saw the greatest change among independents and conservative Democrats. The convention gave independents a reason to vote for McCain and deprived conservative Democrats (who are still anti-Republican) of a reason to vote against him.

What about Palin? I agree with my colleague Noam Scheiber who argues that Palin’s main effect is not to attract new voters to McCain (OK, Alaska is no longer in play), but to attract attention to McCain–beginning with the convention. I expect that by November, as her sheer novelty wears off and as voters focus more on her qualifications, she will have proven to be either of no effect or a liability to McCain.

Polls. Only one result matters…

Posted: 11th, September 2008 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Your Chance To Eat A Hot Beef Sundae

YUMMY! Hot beef on bed of ice cream and cheery sauce…

Via

Posted: 11th, September 2008 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


PC Osama Bin Laden: Terror Chief Joins Cornwall Liberation Army

IT’S the seventh anniversary of the attack on the Twin Towers.

And the tabloid press have saved their story of Chief Supt Colin Terry’s decision to dress up as Osama bin Laden.

The Express (front page) says Terry is being “investigated” (and not just by the tabloids) for his “inappropriate and unacceptable” actions when last Saturday he dressed up as Bin Laden for the village fete in Grampound, Cornwall.

That’s Mr Terry “having the time of his life” stood among the jam jars and face painters. But better than this is Mr Terry’s apology:

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Posted: 11th, September 2008 | In: News | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


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