We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.
“Britain WILL be swamped, admit Labour advisors.”
Whatever we think about immigration, honesty must be the best policy. And hats off to the Express for bringing us the bare facts on its front page. Rest assured, it’s what Princess Diana and Madeleine McCann would have wanted.
The Express says the “explosion in numbers” adds a city the size of Coventry to the UK population every two years.
More people – hell, more Coverntry – means more ramraiders, more John Guants, more television licence defaulters, more single mums and more flooding. It stands to reason.
Helpfully, the Express is doing its bit to prevent a Britain overtaken by Coverntries, by telling one and all that “killer” storms are to hit the UK for the next 25 years; David Beckham no longer plays for England, but lives and works in America; fly-tipping is soaring; and Briton is overrun by Rogarian immigrants…
SAYS Tamimi: “The turmoil in the region could have been averted in January 2006 if – after Hamas won the elections – Israel and the US had acknowledged the new reality and agreed to deal with Hamas rather than its losing rival. Voices in Israel, especially those of retired generals and former politicians, can be heard from time to time advising the Israeli establishment to come to terms with reality and negotiate a ceasefire with Hamas. It seems unlikely that this will happen any time soon.”
Says a voice on the Guardian’s forums:
“Of course the author and the leftie useful idiots who will undoubtly exclaim their delight and approval of this tosh will forget how Hamas dealt with Fatah when they seized control of Gaza.
Those cuddly warriors of Hamas entered into negotiations with Fatah and when they didn’t like Fatah replies in true acts of peaceful negotiation threw the Fatah “delegates” off the roof of the hospital.
There was of course the collecting Fatah delegates from their houses entering into negotiation and when not agreeing with the Fatah position in the true spirit of peace murdering the Fatah delegate.
The only thing that the author is correct about is that Israel cannot destroy Hamas. That will only occur when the left and its Islamist allies apply the usual standards applied to the rest of the civilised world to Hamas and insists it stops its murderous , sexist, homophobic , racially motivated campaign of terror.”
ON the ANorak Forums: Shell, the second largest non-government company in the world, was today accused of making “obscene” profits at a time when pensioners, motorists and industry are struggling with higher energy prices when it unveiled annual earnings of £13.9bn.
The company has made British corporate history with the record figures, which are equivalent to more than £1.5m an hour and come at the end of a three month period when crude prices have averaged over $90 a barrel.
Jeroen van der Veer, chief executive of Royal Dutch Shell, described the performance as “satisfactory”
Anyone spot the true obscenity?
The biggest profit ever? £1.5m an hour. The Bank of England gave a loan of double that amount to the failed bank Northern Rock over the same period… (AGW)
THE most miserable cities in the United States of America:
1. Detroit, MI
2. Stockton, CA
3. Flint, MI
4. New York City
5. Philadelphia, PA
6. Chicago, IL
7. Los Angeles, CA
8. Modesto, CA
9. Charlotte, NC
10. Providence, RI
Sick city syndrome.
AS reported: “A senior al-Qaeda leader in Afghanistan, Abu Laith al-Libi, has been killed, Western counter-terrorism officials have told the BBC.”
Are we winning?
CYBER Storm: “In the middle of the biggest-ever ‘Cyber Storm’ war game to test the nation’s hacker defenses, someone quietly targeted the very computers used to conduct the exercise.”
The surprising culprit? The players themselves, the same government and corporate experts responsible for detecting and fending off attacks against vital computer systems, according to hundreds of pages of heavily censored files obtained by The Associated Press.
Cyber Storm 2:
The upcoming “Cyber Storm 2″ in March also will simulate electronic attacks against chemical plants and communication lines, and include targets in California, Colorado, Delaware, Illinois, Michigan, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Texas and Virginia.
“They point out where your expectations of your capabilities may be overstated,” Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff told the AP. “They may reveal to you things you haven’t thought about. It’s a good way of testing that you’re going to do the job the way you think you were. It’s the difference between doing drills and doing a scrimmage.”
Who’s in it?
For the participants — including government officials from the United States, England, Canada, Australia and New Zealand and executives from technology and transportation companies — the mock disasters came fast and furious: hacker break-ins at an airline; stolen commercial software blueprints; problems with satellite navigation systems; trouble with police radios in Montana; school closures in Washington, Miami and New York; computer failures at border checkpoints.
England. Not the United Kingdom. Not even Britain. England…
“I can’t afford to buy a £2,000 suit – at the moment I stick to £500 jackets – but when I can, I will.”
Come on, dad, can you help him out. How about a raise?
KEEP the global warming coming: “Sun’s low magnetic activity may portend an ice age”:
The Canadian Space Agency’s radio telescope has been reporting Flux Density Values so low they will mean a mini ice age if they continue.
Like the number of sunspots, the Flux Density Values reflect the Sun’s magnetic activity, which affects the rate at which the Sun radiates energy and warmth. CSA project director Ken Tapping calls the radio telescope that supplies NASA and the rest of the world with daily values of the Sun’s magnetic activity a “stethoscope on the Sun”.
It’s another The Little Ice Age. Anyone told al Gore?
WHY Christina Aguilera’s baby won’t get its own OK! cover.
It might seem surprising that OK! wasn’t game to play by Aguilera’s rules, considering the mag ran Aguilera’s wedding photos, but a magazine insider points out that the singer performs well on stage, but not so much on newsstands. “The OK! wedding cover didn’t sell as well as they hoped, and even her recent Marie Claire cover underperformed, all things considered,” the source said.
Calling Jade Goody…
The Tube shirkers/workers love Ken. Cabbies for Boris.
Bus drivers for themselves…
BILL Clinton says that to combat global warming industrialized nations need to: “We just have to slow down our economy and cut back our greenhouse gas emissions ’cause we have to save the planet for our grandchildren.”
This appears an odd thing to say, with the US worried about recession. (Video here.)
But, then, if there is a recession, President Hillary Clinton can blame it on global warming. Recession will be a good thing.
Right? Right on!
ISLAM’S advance in the West:
Surely, much depends on how close you are to the heat? And if you place the patio heater indoors, does it still qualify as a patio heater or is it more of a radiator, or a death trap?
The Telegraph says the proposal has been attacked by publicans, who say bars and pubs need the heaters for customers driven outside by smoking bans. Readers learn that the trade has invested £86.5 million in heaters over the past year and “a ban could cost pubs, cafés and restaurants an estimated £250 million a year in lost business”. Not to mention what it would do to the market in new patio heaters.
To give balance to Hall’s argument the paper calls upon Nigel Farage, leader of the UK Independence Party. Says he: “Not content with devastating the pub trade with the illiberal and ill-informed smoking ban, these autocratic busybodies now want to make smokers stand in the cold and the rain.
“We are constantly being told that the continental café culture is something to aspire to. But a ban like this will hammer the cafés of Brussels, Stockholm and Copenhagen just as surely as the pubs of Leeds and Sevenoaks.”
Is Farage saying that Leeds and Sevenoaks have much in common with those European capital cities, so creating a united European view of the matter? Or is it just all a slight on Brussels to bracket the seat of European power with a town in Kent? And do the people of Sevenoaks mind?
Let’s have a heater debate…
IT’S ‘The Peruvian Viagra’. It;s ‘Extracto de rana’ (Frog juice). It’s a sensation in Lima, Peru.
Isn’t there a joke about a frog in a blender?
GOOD AS LILY…Allen?
What if your biggest competition was…yourself? Following a strange mishap on her 18th birthday, Grace Kwon is confronted with herself at three different periods in her life, ages 6, 29 and 70. The timing couldn’t be worse as Grace and her friends desperately try to save a crumbling school play. Will her other selves wreak havoc on her present life or illuminate her uncertain future?
A CHEESBURGER in a can
TV presenter Beadle has died. He was just 59.
Beadle presented You’ve Been Framed, Game For a Laugh and Beadle’s About, but raised millions for the charity Children with Leukaemia.
The world’s most wanted man might be dead. He might be alive. But however hard we look, not one sighting of Osama bin Laden has been reported in the press.
Bin Laden is famously tall, well over nine feet high, but when seated in a dimly lit cave he looks not a lot unlike a bearded Lord Lucan. Add some styling gel and who can deny the likeness to Elvis Presley. A sex change, some hair dye and a swarthy male companion and Bin Laden is Princess Diana. Some say he could pass for Rick Astley.
But no one has seen Bin Laden. Until now.
All hail Fernando Aguirre, known as Osama Bin Laden among the slum dwellers of Bogota. Aguirre claims to be the son of Osama Bin Laden. He lives from the contributions received from those seeking his protection.
As reported: “Aguirre informs police on petty crimes being committed and is allowed by authorities to brandish his fake rifle.”
He’s got a fake gun, a toy rifle he uses to look tough. He talks big and carries a plastic stick.
From a certain angle he looks a bit like John Kerry…
IS Al Gore in Israel?
“A rare snowstorm swept the Middle East on Wednesday, blanketing parts of the Holy Land in white, shutting schools and sending excited children into the streets for snowball fights…
Men in long Arab robes pelted each other with snowballs in the Jordanian capital, Amman, and the West Bank city of Ramallah, seat of the Palestinian government, came to a standstill.
Reports of Al Gore moving in to Syria are as yet unconfirmed…
A FREE colonic irrigation for three readers of The Irish Beauty Blog.
Hat tip: Tim
TYPE in the word “poker” into a search engine and get the usual responses.
Politicians with “poker faces”. Nations playing “poker” with waepaons.
And a man getting branded with a red hot poker – for a bit of a laugh.
Politics can wait. So too can war.
And we journey to a pub in St Austell, Conbrwall, wher the drinkers are making their own entertainment.
A man has pulled own his trousers.
Drink. A fire.
A pal pulls the red hot poker from a fireplace and ’brands’ his backside.
The smell of burning flesh and hair.
A spokesman for the Westcountry Ambulance Service says: ”You can clearly see a nasty burn which could cause serious damage. When the anaesthetic qualities of the alcohol has worn off, he may well be in for a painful trip to hospital.”
MORE Lottery news.
This time it’s about seriel rapist Iorworth Hoare, who attacked a Mrs A in 1998.
Mr Hoare was on leave from an open prison when he won the £21million jackpot. He shared the winnings with two other winners.
And this is interesting in light of his attack on Mrs A.
She was handed just £5,000 from the Criminal Injuries Compensation Board. But now Hoare is in the money, she might be entitled to more.
Should she be? What do you think?