We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.
JOHN McCain tries humour, possibly:
European parliamentarians have been enjoying their first ride aboard their very own train. The high-speed Thalys train has launched a new, direct service from Brussels to the French city of Strasbourg exclusively for MEPs.
The service is an effort to silence growing discontent over the ‘travelling circus’, which involves the entire European Parliament uprooting to the Alsacian capital for its monthly plenary session at a cost of 200 million euros a year…
WE the UN and its esteemed leader Ban Ki-Moon condemn the following:
As he asks, is there a sliding scale of condemns in the UN, strongly speaking?
IT’S not us:
Remember the tightwad tourist whose baggy shorts, frequent complaining and shouted questions about why none of the locals spoke any English made the ugly American the world’s Visitor from Hell? Well, it’s time for Archie Bunker to move over and make way for Petulant Pierre. According to a recent international survey, the French are now considered the most obnoxious tourists from European nations, behind only Indians and the last-place Chinese as the worst among countries worldwide.
On that miraculous Saturday, therefore, when the Vulcan took to the skies again – there was perhaps only one regret – that the bomb bay was not filled with ordnance, with the destination Brussels via Westminster.
HARRY REID says:
From 2009, cars will feature with the figure takes into account emissions from vehicle use and fuel production.
The score ranges form one to 10. The higher the score, the cleaner a car is. The score takes into account emissions related to production of fuel for each vehicle as well as the direct emissions from vehicles.
Californian cars already feature a smog score.
It’s all to the good, of course. Americans can show off how green they are by giving themselves a low score, a questionable system in a culture when bigger is better.
Who wants a car with a score of 1 when you can have a perfect 10?
Picture: China today
AS you were:
THERE’S new advice for older men who want to preserve their sexual function: have sex, and have it often, researchers say.
In a study that followed nearly 1000 older Finnish men for five years, researchers found that those who were regularly having sex at the start of the study were at lower risk of developing erectile dysfunction (ED) by the study’s end.
In fact, the more often the men had sex, the lower their ED risk.
WHICH way round does the water go?
A court has heard that the “peace campaigner” was caught near Downing Street just as he was about to stab himself in protest at the Iraq and Afghanistan wars.
Miss Isobel Ascherson, prosecuting, says that when interviewed (Mr) Ninja Ant said he “had been on a camping trip… and acquired a knife to maintain his outdoor lifestyle and had forgotten he had it on him.”
The Sun goes for “G* AND ATE”, printing the full menu, as Anorak has here.
The Sun has the full 19 dishes on offer, while the Mirror has 18 dishes, shying away from the “Salt-grilled bighand and thornyhead with vinegary water pepper sauce” due to the lack of ketchup.
(Picture: Beau Bo D’Or Website)
The Mirror shows the great and good sat before empty plates, licked clean as Gordon Brown, stood at one end of the table with a look of tight-lipped prudence demands.
But what if you can’t eat your dinner all up? What if your eyes are bigger than your tum-tum? Germany’s Angela Merkel look up the challenge, so too Brown, but Japan’s Prime Minister Fukuda is slender and his wife, the fragrant Kiyoko, is positively frail.
GORDON Brown wants us to eat our meat all up and forget about having pudding.
Gordon Brown wants us to drive at the most fuel efficient speeds at all times – 56mph for most mums on the school run.
Gordon Brown wants us to look straight into the camera, no smiling, fringes, or teeth.
Gordon Brown wants us to remain in a small dimly lit room for 42 days, living only on air, bread and water, while contemplating how wasteful we have become.
To view the actual G8 summit menu read on:
SHAHID Malik is Britain’s first ever Muslim minister. Says he in the Independent:
“I think most people would agree that if you ask Muslims today what do they feel like, they feel like the Jews of Europe,” he said. “I don’t mean to equate that with the Holocaust but in the way that it was legitimate almost – and still is in some parts – to target Jews, many Muslims would say that we feel the exact same way.
HAMID Tehrani writes at Global Voices on Iran’s open a just society:
In recent years, some Iranian bloggers have been sent to jail and many have had their sites filtered. If the Iranian parliament approves this draft bill, bloggers fear they could be legally executed as criminals. No one has defined what it means to “disturb mental security in society”.
Such discussion concerning blogs has not been unique to Iran. It shows that many authorities do not only wish to filter blogs, but also to eliminate bloggers!
About a year and a half ago, the Iranian government demanded that bloggers should register and provide their names and addresses on a site called Samandehi. Many people believed such a process would facilitate legal action against them.
Bloggers resisted and many published an “I do not register my blog/site” banner on their blogs. The Government then realised it cannot have real control of the situation, or force bloggers to register.
The people win…
Gadafy – (as used by the Guardian and the Irish Times)
Gaddafi – (probably the most common, as used by most newspapers and this website)
Gadaffi – (as used by the Financial Times)
Ghadaffy – (as used by London’s Evening Standard, although not for long)
Gadhafi – (as used by the Wall Street Journal)
Kadafi – (as used by the Los Angeles Times)
Kaddafi – (as used by Newsweek)
Qaddafi – (as used by the New York Times, the International Herald Tribune, the Economist and the New Yorker)
IT was not the hoodie in the kebab shop that did for Litvinenko:
The murder of Alexander Litvinenko was carried out with the backing of the Russian state, according to Whitehall sources. A senior British security official has told Newsnight “we very strongly believe the Litvinenko case to have had some state involvement; there are very strong indications that it was a state action”.
Furthermore officers at MI5 believe they thwarted an attempt last June to kill Boris Berezovsky, the London based critic of then president Vladimir Putin.
So says a “Mr A”. A Mr A living in London? A Russian Mr A living in London? Anyone..?
JUST returned from Paris where the Mona Lisa was being photographed by tourists at the Louvre.
All the happy snappers taking pics and – get this – video of the world’s most famous pic, so they can return home and say they saw a picture behind glass through a lens.
Here are some better pictures of the enigmatic smiling one…
We describe a patient with climate change delusion, a previously unreported phenomenon. A 17-year-old man was referred to the inpatient psychiatric unit at Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne with an 8 month history of depressed mood… He also …had visions of apocalyptic events…
SAYS Rush Limbaugh in the NYT:
“Do you know what bought me all this?” [Limbaugh] asked, waving his hand in the general direction of his prosperity. “Not my political ideas. Conservatism didn’t buy this house. First and foremost I’m a businessman. My first goal is to attract the largest possible audience so I can charge confiscatory ad rates. I happen to have great entertainment skills, but that enables me to sell airtime.”
BRIAN Appleyard on culture and Ellis Cashmore on the BBC radio:
I began fully-listening when Ellis Cashmore appeared as a ‘witness’. Cashmore is ‘professor’ of Culture, Media and Sport, surely the Andrex of academic disciplines. You can listen to him on the website – it’s the programme about celebrity – he appears at about twenty minutes. You may need a new laptop as these machines don’t take kindly to being flung across the room. The gist of what Cashmore said was contained in his line ‘Cultures are no better or worse than each other’. Right then, Prof, here’s my time machine and, woosh, here we are in Tiananmen Square during Mao’s Cultural – geddit? – Revolution. You, being an intellectual, are about to be stamped to death for the entertainment of the peasants. Luckily, I am on hand to, first, console you with the thought that all cultures are equal and, secondly, to operate the time machine and whisk you off to Germany in the thirties. I, having a Jewish mother, am being dragged off by Brown Shirts, but, luckily, you are on hand to console me with the thought that all cultures are equal. Sadly, you cannot operate the time machine…. Who are these people? What are they for?
Who gives a professorship in culture?
THE petrol crisis:
JULY 2–A Kentucky woman is facing prostitution charges for allegedly trading sex for gasoline. Angela Eversole, 34, was nabbed last weekend during a police stakeout at a Days Inn, where she allegedly trysted with customer Kenneth Nowak. According to court records, Nowak admitted paying for Eversole’s services, in part, with a $100 Speedway gas card. Eversole was hit with a prostitution rap and also charged with doing business without an occupational license. Nowak was charged with promoting prostitution. Eversole and Nowak are pictured below in mug shots snapped following their June 27 arrests. A local prosecutor noted that it was sad to see someone selling their body for gas, in this case about 25 gallons worth.
“BRITAIN declares war on food waste,” announces the Independent.
How do you fight yesterday’s tuna casserole? If you imprison food, it will only turn nasty and attack you by biological means. Perhaps the old ways of sticking the wrongdoer in the stocks and pelting it with rotten fruit would work, or only exacerbate the problem?
Reading on, we learn that: “The Government is to launch a campaign to stamp out Britain’s waste food mountains as part of a global effort to curb spiralling food prices.”
Food prices are not going up because of increased production and energy costs, but because you are not cleaning your plate.
Says Gordon Brown ( “If you don’t eat yer meat, you can’t have any pudding. How can you
have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat?” – Pink Floyd: No Education; No Education; No Education):
WE are not afraid, much:
According to a CNN/Opinion Research Corp. survey released Wednesday, 35 percent of Americans believe a terrorist attack somewhere in the United States is likely over the next several weeks.
The figure is the lowest in a CNN poll since the September 11, 2001, al Qaeda attacks, which killed nearly 3,000 people.
ONLINE Journalism wonders:
“Could the BBC be funded by a tax on web and mobile? In France President Sarkozy has just announced that, from next year:
“prime-time advertising on public television will be phased out, with the lost revenues to be replaced by taxes collected from internet, mobile phone and commercial broadcasting companies
“Internet and mobile operators will have to stump up a tax of 0.9 percent of sales—which could raise up to 380 million euros ($595 million), in support of the state-owned France Televisions, which controls the country’s four public channels. A further 80 million euros ($125 million) will come from taxes on commercial broadcasters.”
So would you pay for useage rather then right?
PRINCe Charles is green – he’s Brtish racing green.
His car – a humble Aston Marton – runs on biofuel:
“The bioethanol from our supplier happens to be made from wine. I think our wine is surplus English wine. It is wonderful. It is not corked” – Sir Michael Peat, the Prince’s private secretary
Any more down to earth and the prince would be buried alive…