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News | Anorak - Part 480

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We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.

Ladies Night Bansturbation, With Carroll, Pelling And Birtles

THE columnists are contemplating a ban on free drinks to ladies in the pub:

Until the government proposed a ban on drinking establishments handing out free bottles of wine to female customers, I had no idea such practice was commonplace. Maybe I need to get out more – Sue Carroll, Daily Mirror

And you don’t have to go alone, Sue…

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Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: News, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Republican Focus Group And Other Nuts

BEN Smith hears from a Republican consultant who ran a focus group. Rachel Lucas spots the message:

[The group was] Reagan Dems and Independents. Call them blue-collar plus. Slightly more Target than Walmart.

Yes, the spot worked. Yes, they believed the charges against Obama. Yes, they actually think he’s too liberal, consorts with bad people and WON’T BE A GOOD PRESIDENT…but they STILL don’t give a f***. They said right out, “He won’t do anything better than McCain” but they’re STILL voting for Obama.

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Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


George Bush Quits

GEORGE Bush has quit

Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jerry Maguire Is All Grown Up

WHEN child stars grow up: Jonathan Lipnicki, that adorable kid from Jerry Maguire.

And creepy…

Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: News | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Looking For Weapons Of Mass Desruction In The UK

UN General Assembly President Miguel d’Escoto Brockmann tells The Jerusalem Post that he loves Israel and believes the Jewish people “have suffered more perhaps in time than any other people.”

“I don’t hate any country, but Israel I happen to love,” d’Escoto said.

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Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


How The FTSE Is Backing Brown

HOW many shares opened up on the FTSE this morning?

Spotter and here

Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: News | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mirror Falsly Claims Madonna Ritchie Divorce Scoop

THIS whole Madonna and Guy thing makes me really, really sad. Not because they’re splitting up but because the torture of pretending they weren’t since our exclusive story waaaay back in June”.

So writes Polly Hudson, the Daily Mirror’s celebrity watcher, who possibly saw yesterday’s Sun front-page. Or as other put it:

Divorce? No… Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s civilised separation – Daily Mail, May 25, 2008

The story was taken up on the web blogs:

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Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: News, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sex On Beach: Dubai Couple Guilty

A man and woman been been jailed for three months in the Arab Emirate of Dubai after being found guilty of having sex on a beach.

Britons Michelle Palmer, 36, of Oakham, Rutland, and Vince Acors, 34, of Bromley, south-east London, were arrested in July. Both had denied charges of public indecency and having unmarried sex. They were fined the equivalent of £160 and will be deported after serving their sentences.

AGW

Juice Drinker Canned In Dubai

Dubai Sex On Beach Case: Locking Up Is The New Staying In
F*cked In Dubai: The Defence Of Vince Acors And Michelle Palmer
Global Warming: The Air Conditioned Bus Stop In Dubai
Dubai Ice Hotel: Climate Change In An Instant

Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: News | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann: An Apology For Journalism, Desmond’s Reputation And Greenslade Scores

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

DAILY STAR: “’THE TAPAS SEVEN‘” – AN APOLOGY

The Sangria Seven, surely. Or the Tapas 9 (what happened to them?). But what of this latest apology? Ahem..:

In articles published in September and November last year we suggested that the holiday companions of Kate and Gerry McCann might have covered up the true facts concerning Madeleine McCann’s disappearance and/or misled the authorities investigating her disappearance.

Yes…

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Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Madeleine McCann, News, Tabloids | Comments (359) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


A Penetrating Insight On Barack Obama

THE media is in the tank for Obama

Spotter: Michael Asher

Posted: 16th, October 2008 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The 360 Trillion Dollar LIBOR Punt

NOT every problem can be solved by throwing money at it, but as Libor falls for the third day in a row we need to keep spinning those prayer wheels and throwing the money at it.

According to Bloomberg

‘Dollar money-market rates fell after the European Central Bank, Bank of England and Swiss National Bank offered lenders unlimited U.S. currency for the first time in a coordinated effort to unlock credit markets.’

How much money, I hear you asking.

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Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: News | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Stephen Hawking Is A Tattoo

THIS is what happens to Stephen Hawking when people who quote Monty Python scenes get an idea:

It must rank among the most unusual tattoos in the world.

Apprentice tattooist Jack Newton has had Professor Stephen Hawking’s face imprinted on his right leg.

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Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: News | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Stealing Groceries For Murder

STEALING groceries for murder. Death by pumpkin…

Via

Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: News, Photojournalism | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Apostates And Giving A Buckley’s At The National Review

ROGER L Simon on the Buckley apostate:

Being an apostate myself, I read with interest Chris Buckley’s defense of his apostasy in The Daily Beast today. After having come out in favor of Obama, the esteemed son of the esteemed William F. Buckley  has been “sacked” (in Chris’ words) by his father’s magazine the National Review.

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Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The North Pole Is So Very Icy

THE North Pole was once melting. It would be melted – all melted – by tomorrow.

Now:

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Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: News | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


It’s 2030 And The World Looks Like This

IT’S 2030 and the Scotsman exists as a free pamphlet given out at King’s Cross station and churches in the area.

What else of 2030? “It’s…

“…A chilling world where licences are required for having children and questioning global warming is a crime could be ushered in by climate change”.

Why wait. Bring it on.

The scenario is one of five potential responses to climate change described by a panel of 60 experts in the study by Forum for the Future, a sustainable development group.

Not sure if we get a vote on which world we want, but know that the “five possible futures for mankind are”:

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Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: Broadsheets, News | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Face Off: Cloning Courteney Cox And Demi Moore

IN Hollywood, there is new look. Courteney Cox and Demi Moore both bought it and are right now wearing this season’s hair, face, nose and glow.

Tsk! And the doctor told them it was a one-off protype.

You can’t trust anybody…

Via

Image: Flynetonline.com

Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: News | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Madeleine McCann Opens For Australia

MADDIE WATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann, Kate McCann and Gerry McCann

THE AGE (Aus): “If the cap fits, journeyman Rogers will wear it”

An interview with cricketer Chris Rogers.

Away from cricket, Rogers likes sudoku, music, writing and reading. Currently, it is Vanished, exploring the Madeleine McCann case, which was topical in England when he was there mid-year.

More on how that affects his cricket next season…

Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: Madeleine McCann, News | Comments (157) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Sewer Skewer: Man Cooks Kebab By Dead Body

“CARRY on cooking: Chef made kebabs as body of dead colleague lay on sofa.” So says the Mail. It is the Sun’s “Goner Kebab”.

And what of Jaswinder Singh? Is he billed in the tabloids as a consciencious worker, one in the eye for workshy shirkers? Is he a man planning ahead, going long on meat?

Is he ready to brandish a man-sized skewer and turn whistleblower on the kebab industry?

Is this a satire on kebab shop knifings?

No, he is the source of cheap puns and accusations.

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Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: News, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Scientific Fact: It Is Shit Up North:

SCIENTISTS from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine are among us.

Armed with swabs, they wipe 409 people at bus and train stations in five major cities in England and Wales.

Before the results are sent to Jeremy Kyle, the boffins note that the further north they went, the more often they found commuters with faecal bacteria on their hands.

The further north go, the shittier it gets. Fact. The further north you go, the less afraid people are to get their hands dirty. Fact. In Scotland, people call hands “Wipers” and wipe their hands on cloth to give it its distinct tartan design and texture.

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Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: News | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


When Tabloids Run The Banks

THE Mirror’s Stewart MacLean is sat in the foyer of RBS, Kensington.

He’s a shareholder now: “I reckon I definitely look the part as I confidently stride in with my laptop, a fold-up desk and briefcase.”

MacLean’s colleague Paul Routledge would rather see him stood on the counter with a tie wrapped to his throat and tethered to the ceiling fan, but this is MacLean’s first day at work. Patience.

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Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: News, Tabloids | Comments (5) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Christmas Day Lights: Climate Kops Wonder At Lights

IT’S just 71 days to go to Christmas and the tabloids finally have their first Christmas lights story.
Anorak’s man at the Mirror says:

“Things were getting proper dicey. We had an Our Maddie story on standby, a feature on what Our Diana would have done to help should she ever deign to emerge from her department in Harvey Nichols, and there was the story of how Our Gordon Brown is to duet with Howard on the Halifax ads, so we were covered for a few weeks.

“But still, squeaky bum time.”

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Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: News, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Sarah Palin’s New Baby

MARK Ciptak of Elizabethton, Tennessee, has named his daughter Sarah McCain Palin.

He “put that name on the documents for the girl’s birth certificate, ignoring the name Ava Grace, which he and his wife had picked earlier”, reports the Tennessean.

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Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Obama Campaigns On XBox 360

BARACK Obama is campaigning for XBox 360 players

Last week we noted unconfirmed sightings of an “Obama for President” billboard in the Xbox 360 racing game Burnout Paradise. Today we’re able to report that it is, in fact, an official advertisement placed by the senator’s campaign team.

“I can confirm that the Obama campaign has paid for in-game advertising in Burnout,” Holly Rockwood, director of corporate communications at Electronic Arts, the game’s publisher, told me via email, noting that EA regularly allows ad placements in their online games. “Like most television, radio and print outlets, we accept advertising from credible political candidates,” she continued. “Like political spots on the television networks, these ads do not reflect the political policies of EA or the opinions of its development teams.”

To my knowledge, this Burnout ad is far and away the most prominent use of a major online game to promote a presidential candidate’s campaign. There have been near-misses, of course: In 2006, for example, when he was seriously considering a run for the Democratic nomination, ex-Virginia Gov. Mark Warner made an avatar-based appearance at a press conference in Second Life.

Look out for McCain on space invaders near you…

Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: News | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Aliens Arrive On Earth Today

IF any aliens are reading this, when you come to Earth today, bring gold, a Wii, love, a new tie for Gordon Brown, world peace, the cricket ball you stole in 1983 and a huge ray gun.

As the Daily Star reported yesterday, “aliens are set to land on Earth tomorrow to prove to humans that there really is life out there”.

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Posted: 15th, October 2008 | In: News, Tabloids | Comments (15) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0