We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.
BOMBS. Planes. Queues. Queues. Queues…
Have just read an interesting little factoid from 2006. Remeber the transatlantic liquid bomb plot? Well apparently, on the day that John Reid made a statement about it (August 10th), he was accompanied by the hten Transport Secretary “wee” Dougie Alexander.
Alexander didn’t really say much, but was there thanks to his use of the Queen’s Flight (also known as 32 Squadron) by helicopter. That flight only cost the taxpayer £13,895.55. Had he used a scheduled flight (and enjoyed the chaos other travellers were facing) it would have been a mere couple of hundred, a train would have been as effective too.
Those who can do. What would you have done?
The Defence Medal, awarded to all fulltime personnel who served 28 days or more between 1939 and 1945? The South Atlantic Medal (1982)? The Italy Star, the Burma Star, the Africa Star, the Atlantic Star?
None. They’re called the Millies (The Sun Military Awards). And now to go with small plastic Daily Mirror gongette, men and women who have offered their lives for their nation will receive a tribute modelled on an aroused door knob.
IT’S 3am and Sarah Palin is wondering if abortion should be legalised.. for the mothers of left wingers at the Daily Kos:
But it appears that Pallin’s last child, a baby with Down’s syndrome, may not be hers. It may be that of her teenage daughter.
A Kostic soul.
Trig is not Sarah’s son, but grandson. It was her 16-year-old daughter Bristol (pictured right) who was carrying. (80% of the cases of Down’s Syndrome are in mothers under the age of 35.)
And what percentage of women give birth under the age of 35?
Tina Fey… Calling Tina Fey…
SARAH Palin would rather wear fur:
Although the Vice President is considered essentially powerless, the fact that Palin is likely to carry her own support within the country – and perhaps prove decisive in trouncing Obama – this could put her in an unusually powerful position. It may be enough – we hope – to see off the greenies and bring some rationality to US policy on “climate change”.
And how the greenies will hate her. That, is the joy of Palin, the mom who, one feels, would be quite happy adding the pelt of a polar bear to her office, to match that of the grizzly which already adorns her office sofa.
OBAMA! Obama! Obama!
The convention is so stage-managed, the script so finely worded, the message so relentlessly repeated, that instead of the loons in tinsel, which are by their nature uncontrollable, there are posters and banners that are handed out to the crowd, with appropriate words and phrases, to be waved at appropriate moments. They are T-shirt mottoes without the T-shirt and, when the delegates waved them, it’s like one long Tourette’s stammer. It removes any sense of spontaneity or, indeed, individual thought. It’s all so mechanical, but we yearn for something to happen off-Autocue and for that we are relying on the Clintons.
In the sound-bite circus…
SARAH Palin. Phew!
Then we thought it was Tina Fey! What a relief to find out that McCain’s running mate is an extreme right wing, gun-toting, sightly-wacky Christian anti-abortion novice governor from a corrupt wilderness state who herself is embroiled in an ethics and sex scandal, born in the heart of White Supremacist Idaho and unlikely to draw single Hillary fan.
A READER called Jay Timmons writes:
I was watching inconvenient truth the other day and theres the bit where it shows the sea level rising really high and flooding most of the world. Well i live near the sea, and don’t want to drown, so i got to thinking. Maybe if we lower the sea level a bit, when the water level rises then it won’t rise high enough to flood.
Anyway, heres the plan. Everyone who can should take a bucket of sea water and pour it down the sink. If lots of people put the effort in, we could lower the sea level substantially and create a better world for our children to live
BARACK Obama. is too inexperienced to be President say:
• Bill Clinton
• Hillary Clinton
• Joe Biden
• Barack Obama
But how hard can it be..?
VLADIMIr Putin says it wasn’t us wot started it, it woz dem damn Yankees:
“The fact is that US citizens were indeed in the area in conflict during the hostilities. It should be admitted that they would do so only following direct orders from their leaders…
“The American side in effect armed and trained the Georgian army.
“Why… seek a difficult compromise solution in the peacekeeping process? It is easier to arm one of the sides and provoke it into killing another side. And the job is done.
“The suspicion arises that someone in the United States especially created this conflict with the aim of making the situation more tense and creating a competitive advantage for one of the candidates fighting for the post of US president.”
File under: Your tanks, Your Army, Your guns…:
OBAMA is the victim of a smear campaign:
DIANA Falzone for President of the US of A. Tabloid Baby investigates:
OBAMANIA Watch – Anorak’s look at Barack Obama in the news…
Hail to the living Greek God! Barack is among us
Says EU Ref:
Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama’s big speech tonight will be delivered from an elaborate stage resembling a miniature Greek temple. The stage, similar to structures used for rock concerts, has been set up at the 50-yard-line, the midpoint of Invesco Field, the stadium where the Denver Broncos’ National Football League team plays.
Some 80,000 supporters will see Obama rise up appear from between plywood columns painted off-white, reminiscent of a Holy Shrine Washington’s Capitol building or even the White House, to accept the party’s nomination for God president.
He will stride out to a raised platform to a podium that can be raised from beneath the floor to the singing of a heavenly choir. Courtesy of Cartago Delenda Est, we have a preview of his costume.
The Archaic period is almost upon us…
POLICE LOG: Crime in the news…
OCALA – Ocala police officers arrested a man Sunday morning who they say pulled a knife on members of a church congregation who would not give him butter in the morning buffet… When he could not get any, he pulled a knife on members of the congregation and said he would cut them.
RALPH Nader. He used to be Ralph Nader:
The Ralph Nader for President campaign in Colorado revved up to start its demonstration march at the onset of the Democratic National Convention. All six supporters were ready to go, leaflets in hand, their 15-foot-tall brown beer-bottle protest balloon was inflated and tied down on the trailer behind the 18-year-old silver Ford F-150 pickup.
Then disaster struck—the generator powering the air-pump that kept the balloon afloat died. Out of gas. The giant balloon shriveled and went limp. One of the Naderites sprinted off for the nearest gas station.
LITTLE Green Footballs spots a mosque. And thinks it’s a scoop:
Zombie: The Mosque in Denver’s Civic Center
Zombie’s latest report is on the mosque that was constructed in Denver’s Civic Center Park, within sight of the capitol building. The mainstream media don’t think this is newsworthy.
It’s only newsworthy if you re a Muslim looking for somewhere new to pray. But why else would it be newsworthy?
DID you knwo that “the UK population is set to become the largest in the European Union”?
It is expected to increase from its current figure of 61 million to almost 77 million in 2060 – a rise of 25%.
This would make it the largest population in the EU, ahead of the projections for France (72 million) and Germany (71 million).
Or, er , not…
COME fly Persian Air. Eat like a Jew and drink like an infidel:
Pictures of the very first Airbus 380 flying from Dubai to New York City show a smiling attendant at the first class bar. Yes, a Persian Gulf airline serves alcohol. But what’s really of interest is the plump bagel sitting on the right side of the counter, under a glass top. Bagels are, of course, the Jewish ethnic food that legend holds goes back to 1683 and the defeat of the Turkish army at Vienna.
“Der Spiegel” published this picture to illustrate its story on the maiden Airbus 380 flight from Dubai to New York.
RUSSIA has given the West the finger. Barack Obama understands.
Russian troops are pulling out of Georgia.
And Russian peacekeepers – who look a lot like Russian troops, although even more peaceful – are staying put.
This picture is on the front of a Russian news organ. And the second one too (after the jump).
THE Agitator writes:
But I’m having a particularly hard time taking seriously the criticism of Obama’s “celebrity” from the same people who sent a B-movie star to the White House. Just sayin’.
Ronny Ray Guns…
FOX News at the Democratic National Convention. NSFW:
JOHN McCain is a celebrity:
Last night was John McCain’s thirteenth appearance on the Tonight Show. More than Arnold. His peers in that elevated celebrity zone? Pamela Anderson, Dr. Phil, Larry the Cable Guy, Simon Cowell, and Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Obama? He’s been on once.
McCain and Simon Cowell…
MADONNA is against global warming. She’s on, er, tour:
Environmental organizations got into the commenting zone last week when Madonna’s crew publicly released the amount of crap and resources going into her “Sticky and Sweet” tour. In particular, the peeps over at CarbonFootprint.com released figures showing that her 45-day concert extravaganza is equivalent to the carbon output of around 160 Britons — in one year.
We get the blame and she’s not even British…
TIM Blair spots the left championing that nice Mr Muqtada al-Sadr:
“Some leftoid fans of famous pacifist Muqtada al-Sadr:
“Comment from Little Green Footballs:
A banner from the “End the Occupations March.” It is truly astounding that people can openly support Muqtada al-Sadr, the hard-line Shi-ite religious leader, especially in light of recent revelations that his “Mehdi Army” operated a torture chamber inside a mosque and routinely executed people. Keep in mind that these are the same kinds of protesters who endlessly whine about Abu Ghraib.
Were all militant, woman-hating nutters now…
ON the social networks, the iconic picture of General Loan killing a Viet Con prisoner has been given the legend: “IF VIETNAM WERE NOW WHAT WOULD YOU SEE?”
The comment aims at satire, but in a world of 24-hour rolling news and the internet, what we see now is everything.
MAN finds and gives home to potato with a human face. Treats him like a son:
As he says:
A father of three daughters, Andrew Stewart has always wanted a son.
So, when his mother handed him a inch-long potato taken from a bag of Maris Pipers with an uncanny likeness to his nephew, he thought his prayers had been answered.
He could not believe the likeness the vegetable he has dubbed ‘Spuddy’ bears to his young six-year-old relative.
The 46-year-old said: “He is only tiny but you can see a little face and even got the hair which looks like it is blowing in the wind; all the neighbours have been over and they cannot believe the likeness.
“My mum, Evelyn, gave it to me and said to give it to my youngest daughter Olivia, 9, and she will not leave him alone now.
“We have got him in an egg cup and he is like a member of the family now, the only problem is that he is shrivelling up so I am not sure how much longer he will be with us.”