We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.
David Horvitz will travel for you: “IF you give me $1,626 I will go to the small Okinawan island called Iriomote and send you an envelope filled with star-sand (don’t worry, I’ve been there before, I know where to go). I will send it from there.
IN the Las Vegas Review-Journal, news of bouncers in Las Vegas:
Sources have been telling me that doormen at several clubs are clearing $8,000 to $10,000 a night before they share tips. So much cash is pouring in that some doormen are making $400,000 to $500,000 a year, several nightclub executives told me.”Pure has guys at the door making more than the president,” said one executive with intimate knowledge of the cover-charge system. He was referring to the annual salary of the president of the United States, which is $400,000, plus benefits.
Play online for an Anorak bonus
CHINA would eat Sponge Bob: “The State Administration of Radio, Film and Television is beefing up its campaign to protect domestic product by extending its primetime ban on foreign cartoons by an hour.”
The country’s top media regulator also demands that local TV stations get the censor’s approval before showing cartoons.
Beginning May 1, foreign toons such as the hugely popular “SpongeBob SquarePants” and Japanese mangas will be banned from 5-9 p.m. on local channels, Sarft said in a ruling that extends a 2006 order that banned cartoons from 5-8 p.m.
Who the hell watches children’s cartoons at 9pm, other than a goofed student?
A state appeals court has upheld a Superior’s man conviction for having sex with a dead deer.
The 3rd District Court of Appeals rejected Bryan Hathaway’s argument that the charge should be dismissed because the law against committing an act of sexual gratification with animals does not apply if they are dead.
“He rather convincingly contends that animal means a living creature,” Judge Gregory Peterson wrote. “However, Peterson pled no contest to the charge. A plea of guilty or no contest waives all nonjurisdictional defects and defenses.”
Hathaway, 21, pleaded no contest to the misdemeanor a year ago and was sentenced to probation that required him to be evaluated as a sex offender.
In January, Douglas County Circuit Court Judge Michael Lucci sentenced him to nine months in jail for probation violations that included using alcohol and marijuana and having unapproved contact with a minor child.
Hathaway told investigators that he saw a dead deer in a ditch near Superior in fall 2006 as he rode a bicycle by it. He then dragged it into the woods and had sex with it.
“When I was done, I was upset with myself,” Hathaway said in a statement to police. “I know having sex with animals is wrong. But I can’t help myself and I need help.”
Anne Althouse comments:
The crime charged is §944.17(2)(c), which is “an act of sexual gratification involving his or her sex organ and the sex organ, mouth or anus of an animal.” This would exclude the “Portnoy’s Complaint” sort of behavior — masturbating with a slab of raw liver — but it also makes it rather clear that the concern is not for the animal’s welfare but about the perversion of the person engaging in the behavior of “gratifying” himself.]
When does the cease cease to be an animal and become a dead object?
David Bossie’s new book, Hillary: The Politics of Personal Destruction (Thomas Nelson, March 2008) lays out a compelling case, questioning whether Hillary tells the truth about herself, her past, and her agenda. Bossie, the former Chief Investigator for the U.S. House of Representatives Committee on Government Reform and Oversight during the Bill Clinton presidency and current president of Citizens United, sheds new light on the woman who boldly declares she’s “in it to win it.”
PAUL Gascoigne: I saw him the worse for wear in a Sunderland nightclub once. Fans were pestering him and he was getting angrier by the second. I took a trip to the Gents and Gazza stepped up to the urinal alongside me…. Read on
JOHN McCain is embroiled in controversy. The allegation is that McCain had a more than business-like relationship with an lobbyist. McCain will ‘go to war’ against the New York Times. A round-up here. Across the Pond.
In the New Republic:
Beyond its revelations, however, what’s most remarkable about the article is that it appeared in the paper at all: The new information it reveals focuses on the private matters of the candidate, and relies entirely on the anecdotal evidence of McCain’s former staffers to justify the piece–both personal and anecdotal elements unusual in the Gray Lady. The story is filled with awkward journalistic moves–the piece contains a collection of decade-old stories about McCain and Iseman appearing at functions together and concerns voiced by McCain’s aides that the Senator shouldn’t be seen in public with Iseman–and departs from the Times’ usual authoritative voice. At one point, the piece suggestively states: “In 1999 she began showing up so frequently in his offices and at campaign events that staff members took notice. One recalled asking, ‘Why is she always around?'” In the absence of concrete, printable proof that McCain and Iseman were an item, the piece delicately steps around purported romance and instead reports on the debate within the McCain campaign about the alleged affair.
File under: life in the old dog yet…
JEFFREY H asks: “What turns ordinary men into extraordinary monsters like Steven Wright, John Halliday Christie, Peter Sutcliffe, Fred West, and others too numerous to mention?
SIMON Jenkins on Tony Blair for President::
As Jane Austen said of bachelors, a statesman is always in need of a dinner, not to mention a title and a motorcade. Besides, “leader of Europe” has an irresistible ring. It is a sure bet that, were Blair to be dragged protesting to the throne, he would not demur the crown.
To which there is only one sensible answer. Has the man never read history? His professed ambition is one that invariably ends in tears. Europe has never tolerated being led. It is a continent of cats, not dogs. Diversity is its glory, cantankerousness its defence. It is not a family or a community but a marketplace, a cultural entrepôt. Those who have sought its unity, even as a political metaphor, have come to grief.
He won’t be able to resist…
FORMER England footballer Paul Gascoigne has been detained under the Mental Health Act following an incident at a Tyneside hotel.
1990. He gave us hope…
PETA Announces ‘Worst-Dressed’ Celebrities of 2008
THE WINNER: Aretha Franklin
How ’bout some R-E-S-P-E-C-T for animals? Aretha, when you waddled into the Grammys in yet another vulgar fur, you looked as if you were going to perform “I Am the Walrus” by The Beatles. You may be a queen, but you don’t know jack about compassion.
Marilyn Manson: “Always draped in leather from head to toe, Manson has enough skeletons in his closet to fill a pet cemetery. As if wearing dead animals isn’t foul enough, Manson says that he wears his cow-skin pants 24/7, only peeling the smelly things off to have sex. That alone should be enough to tarnish leather’s dated sex appeal. Manson may just be the shock-rocker’s stage name, but his wardrobe is a real-life tale of blood and guts.”
Eva LongWHORIA: “Eva Longoria is short on compassion. In her trashy furs, she looks like the street walker of Wisteria Lane. Eva is one “desperate housewife” who needs a quickie divorce—from her stylist.”
Lindsay Lohan: “I Know Who Killed Me isn’t just the title of Lindsay Lohan’s last bomb—it’s also the cry of the animals snuffed out so that this “mean girl” can pose in their pelts. Lindsay, there’s no road to recovery for the foxes who are anally electrocuted so that you can look skanky.”
Kate Moss: “Nothing completes the transition from supermodel to super-tramp like a fur coat. If Kate could see clearly through those bleary eyes, maybe she’d clear her closet of those furs.”
Kylie Minogue: “What does Kylie Minogue have in common with her python purse? They are both cold-blooded. Come on, Kylie—it’s not cool to clutch onto an accessory made by nailing snakes to trees and skinning them alive.”
If they didn’tl wear fur, there would be far fewer fury animals.
DAVID Hazony: “It is widely believed that Israeli Arabs despise the Jewish state, actively support its enemies, and willingly constitute a kind of fifth column in the Jewish state’s population. This is backed up by the wild rhetoric of Arab-Israeli politicians, who frequently bend over backwards to voice their hatred of the country that hosts them. But is this belief true?“
This is a “huge brain drain”, says the paper. “The exodus is revealed at the same time as concerns at home grow about record numbers of migrants arriving to find jobs in Britain.”
These facts are absed on a report by the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD).
Says the Telegraph: “We already knew, courtesy of the Office for National Statistics, that emigration from this country is running at higher levels than at any time since before the First World War, with 200,000 British citizens a year departing these shores.”
“So why the exodus?” the apper asks? Better pay? Wunderlust? Cheaper housing? Less chance of meeting Noel Edmonds?
No need to guess. The Telegraph knows: “Scratch an expat in any of the 100-plus countries that have sizeable British communities and you will rapidly find out… One thing will be mentioned more than any other: that unchecked immigration over the past decade is creating a country many Britons no longer feel comfortable in.”
The brainiacs are leaving the UK to live overseas because they don’t feel comfortable living among foreigners.
And they’re the clever ones…
ALL those guns make you a decent shot:
“The USS Lake Erie, armed with an SM-3 missile designed to knock down incoming missiles — not orbiting satellites — launched the attack at 10:26 p.m. EST, according to the Pentagon. It hit the satellite about three minutes later as the spacecraft traveled in polar orbit at more than 17,000 mph.”
AGENT Provocateur, the lingerie chain, has launched its range of “Guantanamo orange” underpants.
The knickers are “limited edition handcuff-accessorized Agent Provocateur bikini briefs (one size only), that will highlight the inhumane and illegal treatment of prisoners held without trial in Guantanamo Bay.”
True or false?
PIG AID: UK – The British pig industry is looking for pig farmers, who can sing and play musical instruments, to take part in a recording of a campaign song.
The Pig Aid song is a musical means to show the plight of the British pig farmers and keep their campaign over high feed prices in the public eye.
“To keep the story of the feed price campaign fresh we constantly have to think of new and imaginative stories to grab the attention of the media,” said a spokesman for the British Pig Executive.
“As part of the next stage of the campaign we are launching “Pig Aid,” the recording of a song to demonstrate the ongoing problems facing pig farmers.
“This will provide us with a strong story for press, broadcast and online media.
We are currently looking for pig farmers who can sing or play a musical instrument to take part in the recording of the song. So if you can sing or play (or even if you can’t but want to take part) we’d like to hear from you. The song title and venues for recording to be confirmed at a later date.”
Stand by Your Ham
Right now it’s hard to make a living
Rearing all your pigs for pork and ham.
The supermarkets make money
But we don’t make any money
And that’s quite hard to understand
But if they gave us a little more money
Gave us farmers a fairer share.
Coz we take good care of our pigs
We’re so proud of them
To us they’re more than pork and ham.
Stand by your ham.
Sausages, pork and bacon
Help us to stay in business
Because our pigs are worth it.
Stand by your ham.
Sausages, pork and bacon
Keep givin’ all the help you can
Stand by your ham.
— Lyrics by Barney Kaye, National Pig Association
IF the Northern Rock predictions of the last five months here in Anorak didn’t get you, here’s one which have the average Anorakian reaching for the angry phrase book.
TESCOS…one of the largest profit-making companies in Britain with a huge lead over its hyper-market rivals wants to charge you more for your booze.
Get you where it hurts? This is the company which probably dispenses more alcohol than ANY other company in Britain and it wants to hike prices.
The company says it’s asking to be able to do this, in concert with all other oulets, to protect the innocents abroad…the drinkers.
It wants to make more profit while claiming it’s doing it’s bit to stop Britain’s Binge Drinking Boom.
No, I don’t see where it benefits anyone other than Tescos, but, the supermarket giant is to urge the Government to introduce a law banning the sale of cut-price alcohol.
A spokesman for the firm confirmed a report in The Daily Telegraph it now supported legislation to ensure “responsible pricing” of alcohol and alcohol promotions.
The move comes amid widespread concern about the problems of binge-drinking and alcohol-fuelled crime and disorder.
Tesco argues that the issue can only be dealt with through Government action as the supermarkets are barred by competition laws from taking action together to raise prices, while customers would simply go elsewhere if they acted unilaterally.
That’s neat because it will take out another area of competition …the discount alcohol corner shops which are already struggling to stay above bankruptcy because of supermarket loss leader campaigns?
WORLD Against War Public Meeting – poster.
Editor of Hizbollah
That’s a picture from Al-Intiqad celebrating the Hizbollah peace movement for a world againt war and terror…
File under: beyond parody
Why does the left have a bad record and a bad reputation with regard to its attachment to democracy?
He points to “a single inescapable fact”:
[N]amely that, flawed as they may be, the capitalist democracies are democracies and none of the would-be anti-capitalist countries, anywhere, has managed to sustain comparably good or better democratic institutions over any length of time. Note that I do not say this means it could never happen; I don’t believe that. What it does mean, however, is that the democratic institutions we are familiar with have yet to be improved upon in any of those places that some leftists are given to casting an indulgent eye upon even while they seek to distance themselves critically from the institutions they themselves benefit from and which are superior.Unwilling to profess a clear allegiance towards what is democratically better, a certain type of leftist is always ready to make allowances for what is democratically worse. Is it any wonder, then, if his or her democratic avowals are regarded by many with suspicion?
How to be made invisible to CCTV cameras: “The URA / FILOART developed device promises to the citizens of a more reliable protection against security measures of the state (and other Überwachenden).
“In addition to monitoring purposes organised systems interaction between man and machine is still IR.ASC an additional interaction between machines dar. This absurd accumulation of technology is symptomatic, because although the entire expense of the protection measures for the alleged safety of citizens is made, the person slips on the importance scale of the current security plan ever deeper down.”
Florida education officials voted on Tuesday to add evolution to required course work in public schools but only after a last-minute change depicting Charles Darwin’s seminal work as merely a theory.
If you put ten monkeys in a room, they will come up with a theory…
GEORGE Bush is in Africa. Bush is defending his decision not to send U.S. troops into the Darfur genocide, saying he learned lessons from the genocide in Rwanda. Why?
BUSH: A clear lesson I learned in the museum was that outside forces that tend to divide people up inside their country are unbelievably counterproductive. In other words, people came from other countries — I guess you’d call them colonialists — and they pitted one group of people against another.
File under American irony in Iraq…
CNN TO hacks: Be nice to Fidel Castro.
IRANIAN President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says:
“The world powers established this filthy bacteria, the Zionist regime, which is lashing out at the nations in the region like a wild beast…”