We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.
The bureau of weather modification reports:
The bureau of weather modification was established in the 1980s and is now believed to be the largest in the world. It has a reserve army of 37,000 people—most of them sort of weekend warriors who are called to duty during unusual droughts. The bureau has 30 aircraft, 4,000 rocket launchers and 7,000 antiaircraft guns …
The rain has nothing but persistence…
IN cannabis: Marjorie Wallace, chief executive of the mental health charity Sane, says: “While many people can smoke a joint with no long-term effects, for some young people regular use can double their risk of developing schizophrenia, in which a person may hear voices, and experience strange thoughts and paranoid delusions.”
Such are the, er, some, maybe, can be facts…
My fellow Americans: ‘It’s not the despair, I can take the despair. It’s the hope I can’t stand.’
Chris Cillizza in The Fix: Runnign mates
Mickey Kaus in Slate: Obama’s Hispanderama
BANNER at England v Wales rugby union match:
God made man
God made woman
God made Strettle
Last one to the shower’s a hermaphrodite…
IRELAND 16 – Italy 11. Says the BBC TV commentator: “A lead of five points is not lead at all.”
THE Islamicists use women – some, maybe, mentally retarded- to kill children looking around a pet market. The bombs are remote controlled.
ZOMBIE polar bears?
A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.
FRENCH President Nicolas Sarkozy has married former model Carla Bruni, in Paris.
WRITES Peter Mac: Nothing to do with anything, but if you want wierd try
Great fun. Even some of my quite intelligent friends can’t work out how it’s done…
The creature has been dubbed Rhynochocyon udzungwensis, and is a type of giant elephant shrew, or sengi.
The size of a cat, the creature has a grey face, a long, flexible snout, a bulky, amber body, a jet-black rump and it stands on spindly legs.
And now the polar bears are no longer dying out, it might be the face of global warming? The hunt is on for a mate for the little fella..?
W. T. Mayhall, Jr., John Read, and Democrat Bobby Shows are Mississippi legislators, members of the state’s House of Representatives
They have introduced a bill that would make it illegal for state-licensed restaurants to serve obese patrons.
What penalties would be incurred for illegal servings is unsaid, nor what would occur when all the restaurants in the state go under…
BILL Gates reaches down the back of the sofa:
Feb. 1 (Bloomberg) — Microsoft Corp., the world’s biggest software maker, made an unsolicited $44.6 billion offer for Yahoo! Inc. to challenge Google Inc.’s dominance in Internet search services and advertising.
Yeah, because total dominace of the interent and computing is a bad thing, eh Bill…
KARL Rove is become a contributor at Fox News, reports Drudge.
The former Bush advisor will be “likely used throughout Super Tuesday coverage”.
Wonder what his views will be…
THE US Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works has been looking at the Arctic ice. And polar bears.
The report notes the work of J. Scott Armstrong, of the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania. Dr. Armstrong, the editor of a standard text, “Principles of Forecasting”.
He is the originator of what the Seer-Sucker Theory: “No matter how much evidence exists that seers do not exist, seers will find suckers.”
Dr. Armstrong and his coauthors, Kesten C. Green of Monash University and Willie Soon of the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics, conclude that the most influential forecasts of polar-bear populations violate at least 73 of the 90 relevant principles of scientific forecasting. They criticize the forecasters for making large extrapolations based on sparse data and questionable models, relying too heavily on a single expert, ignoring contradictory data and tailoring conclusions to fit a political goal (listing the polar bear as a “threatened” species).
So the polar bears are not dying out? We can stop watching the polar bears. And start looking at a new dying breed, something that will perish when global warming kicks in, like the man who turns the light on and off in your fridge, Santa Claus Australians…
“Britain WILL be swamped, admit Labour advisors.”
Whatever we think about immigration, honesty must be the best policy. And hats off to the Express for bringing us the bare facts on its front page. Rest assured, it’s what Princess Diana and Madeleine McCann would have wanted.
The Express says the “explosion in numbers” adds a city the size of Coventry to the UK population every two years.
More people – hell, more Coverntry – means more ramraiders, more John Guants, more television licence defaulters, more single mums and more flooding. It stands to reason.
Helpfully, the Express is doing its bit to prevent a Britain overtaken by Coverntries, by telling one and all that “killer” storms are to hit the UK for the next 25 years; David Beckham no longer plays for England, but lives and works in America; fly-tipping is soaring; and Briton is overrun by Rogarian immigrants…
SAYS Tamimi: “The turmoil in the region could have been averted in January 2006 if – after Hamas won the elections – Israel and the US had acknowledged the new reality and agreed to deal with Hamas rather than its losing rival. Voices in Israel, especially those of retired generals and former politicians, can be heard from time to time advising the Israeli establishment to come to terms with reality and negotiate a ceasefire with Hamas. It seems unlikely that this will happen any time soon.”
Says a voice on the Guardian’s forums:
“Of course the author and the leftie useful idiots who will undoubtly exclaim their delight and approval of this tosh will forget how Hamas dealt with Fatah when they seized control of Gaza.
Those cuddly warriors of Hamas entered into negotiations with Fatah and when they didn’t like Fatah replies in true acts of peaceful negotiation threw the Fatah “delegates” off the roof of the hospital.
There was of course the collecting Fatah delegates from their houses entering into negotiation and when not agreeing with the Fatah position in the true spirit of peace murdering the Fatah delegate.
The only thing that the author is correct about is that Israel cannot destroy Hamas. That will only occur when the left and its Islamist allies apply the usual standards applied to the rest of the civilised world to Hamas and insists it stops its murderous , sexist, homophobic , racially motivated campaign of terror.”
ON the ANorak Forums: Shell, the second largest non-government company in the world, was today accused of making “obscene” profits at a time when pensioners, motorists and industry are struggling with higher energy prices when it unveiled annual earnings of £13.9bn.
The company has made British corporate history with the record figures, which are equivalent to more than £1.5m an hour and come at the end of a three month period when crude prices have averaged over $90 a barrel.
Jeroen van der Veer, chief executive of Royal Dutch Shell, described the performance as “satisfactory”
Anyone spot the true obscenity?
The biggest profit ever? £1.5m an hour. The Bank of England gave a loan of double that amount to the failed bank Northern Rock over the same period… (AGW)
THE most miserable cities in the United States of America:
1. Detroit, MI
2. Stockton, CA
3. Flint, MI
4. New York City
5. Philadelphia, PA
6. Chicago, IL
7. Los Angeles, CA
8. Modesto, CA
9. Charlotte, NC
10. Providence, RI
Sick city syndrome.
AS reported: “A senior al-Qaeda leader in Afghanistan, Abu Laith al-Libi, has been killed, Western counter-terrorism officials have told the BBC.”
Are we winning?
CYBER Storm: “In the middle of the biggest-ever ‘Cyber Storm’ war game to test the nation’s hacker defenses, someone quietly targeted the very computers used to conduct the exercise.”
The surprising culprit? The players themselves, the same government and corporate experts responsible for detecting and fending off attacks against vital computer systems, according to hundreds of pages of heavily censored files obtained by The Associated Press.
Cyber Storm 2:
The upcoming “Cyber Storm 2″ in March also will simulate electronic attacks against chemical plants and communication lines, and include targets in California, Colorado, Delaware, Illinois, Michigan, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Texas and Virginia.
“They point out where your expectations of your capabilities may be overstated,” Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff told the AP. “They may reveal to you things you haven’t thought about. It’s a good way of testing that you’re going to do the job the way you think you were. It’s the difference between doing drills and doing a scrimmage.”
Who’s in it?
For the participants — including government officials from the United States, England, Canada, Australia and New Zealand and executives from technology and transportation companies — the mock disasters came fast and furious: hacker break-ins at an airline; stolen commercial software blueprints; problems with satellite navigation systems; trouble with police radios in Montana; school closures in Washington, Miami and New York; computer failures at border checkpoints.
England. Not the United Kingdom. Not even Britain. England…