News | Anorak - Part 492

News Category

We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.

A Paragliding Chihuahua

AFP – Saturday, March 1 01:56 amSYDNEY (AFP) – A chihuahua that went paragliding in Australia strapped to its owner’s chest survived when the pair crashed into a tree shortly after taking off, police said Saturday…

Read on 

Posted: 5th, March 2008 | In: Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

German Polar Bear Breeding Programme Update

german-polar-bears.jpgPOLAR Bear Watch: Anorak’s look at polar bears in the news

TWO polar bears re playing in Vienna’s Schoenbrum zoo.

The Express says the “two twin cubs” (not three twin cubs), put on a “entrancing performance”. There is “wrestling”. There is “rolling around”.

This is part of the Teutonic polar bear breeding programme, a plan to have each German-Austrian town equipped with its own polar.

There is mention made of Knut, the foremost celebrity polar bear, the subject of a film deal chronicling his “early life”.

Knut is one.

Posted: 5th, March 2008 | In: Global Warming, Polar Bear Watch, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Cl-Arse: Arsenal Win In Italy

ED Barrett reports from Italy on Arsenal’s famous win over AC Milan: “CL-ARSE.”


Posted: 5th, March 2008 | In: Back pages, Twitterings | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Prince Harry And The ‘Sickening’ Media Coverage

FROM the Anorak Forums: But the coverage by the media is sickening, all military personnel out there are at risk, probably a lot more than HRH was.

But do we get 2 half hour NEWS programmmes broadcast simultaneously about them? No, of course not…

Read on

Posted: 5th, March 2008 | In: Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Foreign Prisoners Offered £3,000 To Leave Britain

ON the Anroak Forums: FOREIGN prisoners are being offered £3,000 to leave Britain, the Government admitted yesterday.

The standard financial reintegration package is £800, but the higher offer has been introduced as the jail population hits record levels.

The enhanced incentive is available until the end of next month, says Darlington’s Northern Echo, once again leading the way on a news story…

Read on 

Posted: 5th, March 2008 | In: Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Sue Carroll’s Phwaor On Terror

BEYOND Parody: Sue Carroll on Prince Harry and the War On Terror:

“Without wishing to demean in any way the amazing job out boys (and girls) are doing out there, I trust they won’t mind if we women back home refer to Helmland province as a ‘phwoar zone’”…

Posted: 5th, March 2008 | In: Beyond Parody, Tabloids, War On Terror | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Steven Spielberg’s Paranormal Phenomena

STEVEN Spielberg is readying a new social network for people who are interested in unusual and/or paranormal phenomena like UFOs and ghosts. TechCrunch:

Spielberg has apparently had at least one paranormal experience himself. There are stories of him staying in a hotel called Excelsior House and being so frightened by ghosts that he fled the room and moved 20 miles away. We’ve also heard anecdotes about Spielberg seeing the ghost of a dead relative repeatedly as a child. Whether based in reality or the product of an exceptional imagination, these experiences may have had an impact on his life’s work and this upcoming social network.

Posted: 5th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Moses Was On Drugs And Burning The Bush

MOSES supposes his toeses are roses:

High on Mount Sinai, Moses was on psychedelic drugs when he heard God deliver the Ten Commandments, an Israeli researcher claimed in a study published this week.

Moses supposes he is speaking to God, who is a freemason carving words into stone that man may live in peace.

Such mind-altering substances formed an integral part of the religious rites of Israelites in biblical times, Benny Shanon, a professor of cognitive psychology at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem wrote in the Time and Mind journal of philosophy.

“As far Moses on Mount Sinai is concerned, it was either a supernatural cosmic event, which I don’t believe, or a legend, which I don’t believe either, or finally, and this is very probable, an event that joined Moses and the people of Israel under the effect of narcotics,” Shanon told Israeli public radio on Tuesday.

Moses supposes erroneously…

Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True, Twitterings | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


ARSENAL 2 – AC Milan Much Less then 2

Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Twitterings | Comments (7) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Lindsay Lohan’s Mum Dinah Gets Reality TV Show

LINDSAY Lohan’s mother Dinah Lohan has her own reality TV show. Pushy mums pushing their own careers.


Bunim-Murray Productions and Maloof Television Present “Living Lohan” (Working Title), Debuting Summer 2008 on E!

Los Angeles, CA, March 4, 2008 – E! Entertainment Television will debut a new nonscripted series starring celebrity mom extraordinaire Dina Lohan and her youngest daughter, up-and-coming teen star Ali Lohan (14). Viewers will go inside the Lohan’s Long Island home for the first time to follow Dina as she works double duty as mom and manager to help Ali try to follow in her big sister’s famous footsteps and pursue her own shot at stardom. Co-produced by Bunim-Murray Productions and Maloof Television, “Living Lohan” (Working Title) will debut summer 2008 on E!

Dina has faced intense scrutiny over the past year due to daughter Lindsay’s (21) highly publicized mishaps and her long-simmering divorce from her ex-husband. But the Lohan family has demonstrated great resiliency and, with Dina at the helm, they are moving on with their lives. Dina is determined to help each of her four kids fulfill their dreams and refuses to live in fear of what others may think, despite being under the paparazzi microscope.

E!’s cameras will follow the single mom every step of the way as she manages Lindsay’s hectic schedule, while helping Ali jump start her music and acting career. This takes the family to the Palms Casino in Las Vegas, where Ali will record tracks for the Maloof’s Interscope-based record label. Having grown up in the shadow of her sister’s stardom and much publicized lifestyle, Ali is determined to achieve her own brand of success. But Dina is more experienced this time around and will do everything she can to protect Ali from the pressures and temptations of young Hollywood.

The series will also feature Dina keeping track of her son Cody (11) whose sports teams, homework and endless energy are enough to keep any soccer mom busy, as well as her older son, on-the-go college student Michael (20). Viewers will get to know the Lohan’s close-knit extended family as well.

“The Lohans are one of the most intriguing families in the entertainment industry today,” said Lisa Berger, Executive Vice President, Original Programming and Series Development for E! “This is a family that knows how to roll with the punches and come out on top. Dina is an incredibly hard-working, passionate mom that I think our viewers will find both relatable and highly entertaining.”

“We are excited to be in business with the Lohan family and E! and look forward to a memorable series,” said Phil Maloof, Chairman and CEO, Maloof Productions. “This series will provide an entertaining and unprecedented look at one of the most recognized families in America.”

“We’ve been given unprecedented access to Dina Lohan and her kids lives; as a result, our series will deliver a powerful story that will both surprise and delight E!’s viewers,” said Jonathan Murray, President, Bunim-Murray Productions.

Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Celebrities, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Generation Green Fights To Save Santa Claus, Turtles And Polar Bears

hummer-pinata.jpgA LOOK at Generation Green, the tweenie warmists seeing the end of life on Earth in all they do and see:

“MY hopeless mother is obsessed with plastic bags,” says Soren, a third-grader and “huge fan” of Al Gore’s global warming documentary, An Inconvenient Truth.

“A lot of plastic can’t be recycled,” says his sister. “The turtles can get suffocated and it can go into the water. My dad gave her a cloth bag but she doesn’t use it. Plastic drives me nuts!”

The Orlando Sentinel says these are the youngest eco-activists learning to save the Earth since preschool.

Tiffany Bluemle 8-year-old son, Will, wanted a “global warming” birthday party last year. He got a “cake decorated as Earth, a bike-repair workshop for his guests and a pinata in the shape of a gas-guzzling Hummer that partygoers beat to the ground”.

Amanda Brosius, 6, of Cleveland Heights, Ohio, recently watched a television special on the plight of polar bears losing their icy hunting grounds to global warming. Soon after, she could hear the shower running way too long in the apartment above, where a 7-year-old friend lives. The boy’s long, water-guzzling showers prompted her to speak up.

“He doesn’t care about the polar bears, but I do,” Amanda says. “We’re running out of fresh water and if you don’t be careful the ice will never get frozen and the polar bears will have nowhere to go. Santa will have nowhere to live.”

Santa and global warming. Anyone else see the link..?

The Rise Of The EcoMum: The Horror, The Horror

Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Global Warming, Polar Bear Watch | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Iranian Block Internet For Election

IRANIAN Internet blocked during election…

Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Twitterings, War On Terror | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Rick Wakeman Moans And Rants for You

rick-wakeman.jpgPRESS release of the day: RICK WAKEMAN will moan for you.

Recorded from his very successful tour of the same name, this hilarious one-man show see Rick Wakeman reprise his very popular role from the BBC hit series, ‘Grumpy Old Men’.  Identifying with the masses, watch him moan and rant his way through the frustrations and irritations of modern life! Delivered in a highly amusing fashion, Rick creates a riotous pastiche of his extraordinary life and escapades.

There are day when everything Anorak reads is “Beyond Parody”

Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Beyond Parody, Celebrities, Online-PR | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

The Real Mr Pooter Reviews The Thai Restaurant, Poole

the-real-mr-pooter.JPGThe Real Mr Pooter Reviews The Thai Restaurant, Poole…

As told to Compass South Magazine March 2008.

Send your cuttings from the local press to editor [@]…

Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Beyond Parody | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Death Cult: Prince Harry Is ‘Expendable’ To Americans

OUR American allies are discussing Prince Harry and the War on Terror:

‘Good Morning America’ co-host Chris Cuomo joked on Monday’s show that Britain’s Prince Harry “has been over in Afghanistan fighting because he’s expendable.” Fellow host Robin Roberts appeared somewhat shocked by the comment and sputtered, “What did you say?” Cuomo, who was previewing an ABC special on the royals, didn’t back off his assertion and reiterated, “It’s true. The reason that Harry is allowed to be in Afghanistan is because he’s not the heir to the throne. William’s not allowed to be there.”

Do we know that William is not there?

How Americans love to imagine leaders being killed. The Barack Obama Death Cult is in full swing…

The Barack Obama Death Cult
The Barack Obama Death Cult II

Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Prince Harry, Royal Family, War On Terror | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

James Lovelock Says We Are Doomed

JAMES Lovelock says global warming is upon us. We are doomed. Doomed! Doomed!!!

“It’s just too late for it,” he says. “Perhaps if we’d gone along routes like that in 1967, it might have helped. But we don’t have time. All these standard green things, like sustainable development, I think these are just words that mean nothing. I get an awful lot of people coming to me saying you can’t say that, because it gives us nothing to do. I say on the contrary, it gives us an immense amount to do. Just not the kinds of things you want to do.”

He dismisses eco ideas briskly, one by one. “Carbon offsetting? I wouldn’t dream of it. It’s just a joke. To pay money to plant trees, to think you’re offsetting the carbon? You’re probably making matters worse. You’re far better off giving to the charity Cool Earth, which gives the money to the native peoples to not take down their forests.” […]

He saves his thunder for what he considers the emptiest false promise of all – renewable energy.

“You’re never going to get enough energy from wind to run a society such as ours,” he says. “Windmills! Oh no. No way of doing it. You can cover the whole country with the blasted things, millions of them. Waste of time.”

Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Global Warming, Twitterings | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Bored Ministers

BORED Minsiters who can’t be bothered to explain…

Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Politicians, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

2007 Final Nebula Ballot

2007 Final Nebula Ballot

Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Avalanches on Mars.

Avalanches on Mars…

Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Strange But True, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Ray Kurzweil On Solar Power

SOLAR power to solve it all:

BOSTON – He predicted the fall of the Soviet Union. He predicted the explosive spread of the Internet and wireless access.Now futurist and inventor Ray Kurzweil is part of distinguished panel of engineers that says solar power will scale up to produce all the energy needs of Earth’s people in 20 years.

There is 10,000 times more sunlight than we need to meet 100 percent of our energy needs, he says, and the technology needed for collecting and storing it is about to emerge as the field of solar energy is going to advance exponentially in accordance with Kurzweil’s Law of Accelerating Returns. That law yields a doubling of price performance in information technologies every year.

Global warming – bring it on!

Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Global Warming, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Pig Famers March On Parliament, Pig Aid

HEADLINE Of the day: Pig farmers march on Westminster

Oh, the irony…

Hundreds of farmers are to hold a demonstration at Westminster to protest against falling pork profits.

Farmers’ leaders say the industry is in “meltdown”, and some warn that so many farmers are quitting that there may be a pork shortage by the end of the year.

Pig Aid: Stand By Your Ham

Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Politicians, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

How The London Olympics Benefits Londoners

A LOOK at the London Olympic Games:

Anyway, the following is headlined at the Mayor’s Evening Standard ‘rebuttal’ unit press office:

London to benefit from nearly a hundred 2012 Games training camps“.

Even the headline sounds more than a tad threatening – it might mean the Kazakh fencing squad pitching tents in Hyde Park or somesuch – but the reality is not so amusing, and by no stretch of the imagination a ‘benefit’ for Londoners:

Mayor of London Ken Livingstone has welcomed the news that 96 sports centres and facilities across the capital have been selected to appear in a national guide listing training venues for athletes in the run up to the 2012 Games…Out of the 96 training venues selected in London, two thirds are from non-host boroughs, spreading the benefits of staging the 2012 Games across the city. Out of the 36 Olympic sporting disciplines, London is providing training facilities for 28 of them, which include a mixture of major and specialist centres including universities and schools, community facilities, and sport specific clubs“.

So, the ‘benefit’ for Londoners will be that access to the local swimming pool, football pitch, gym etc etc will be curtailed because said Kazakh fencing squad, Ecuadorean volleyball players and for all I know the Vanuatu underwater tiddlywinks team have first call on the facilities.

Croydon, is part of the rather unpleasantly named South East London Cluster, and appears to have got off comparatively lightly in that only a judo club is up for a takeover. That sundry combat sports are being offered training facilities in the grimmer east London boroughs suggests a joke that is too obvious to be worth cracking.


Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Back pages, Twitterings | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

Madeleine McCann: A Jetski, A Bag And Terrorist Attacks On Israel

sea.jpgMADDYWATCH – Anorak’s at-a-glance guide to press coverage of Madeleine McCann and Shannon Matthews

DAILY MAIL: “Couple saw bundle taken out to sea near where Madeleine disappeared but police ignored them”

A bundle?

A British couple saw a package being bundled onto a jetski on a beach just six miles from where Madeleine McCann went missing. The tourists had been for a morning swim just nine hours after the little girl disappeared when they spotted the jetski.

A man in a dark wetsuit was riding it, with a 2ft- to 3ft-long black package on the front. He took it to a small “official-looking” grey boat moored just off the coast at Salema.

Man with bag spotted… Read all about it!

The McCanns’s spokesman said they were concerned the Portuguese police had not followed up such a “potentially significant lead”. Really.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Madeleine McCann, War On Terror | Comments (382) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

A Free Knife With Every Tesco Drink

dangerous-childrens-toy.jpgSALLY Owen-Brown is opening the wrapper on her carton of drink.

The four-year-old finds not a straw but a 31/2-inch blade.

Says Sally’s father Raymond: “We were all shocked. It looked horrendous.”

Tesco, where the drink was purchased, says it will investigate. But surely this is just the supermarket responding to what today’s youth demands.

The real shock is that all pre-made drinks do not come with a free knife, or at the very least a spliff and a packet of genital wart cream..

Picture: Anorak’s new Atomic Energy Lab

Posted: 4th, March 2008 | In: Food & Fat, Tabloids | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0

UK Libertarian Party

THE new UK Libertarian Party want to abolish income tax. Policy No.1…

Posted: 3rd, March 2008 | In: Money, Politicians, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0