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DECK the fools (bit late but good): “ANTI-CHRISTMAS CAROL SERVICE”
Ladies and gentlemen, (naughty) boys and girls… it’s time to call an end to a ridiculous charade:
You are cordially invited to a public anti-Christmas carol service in Parliament Square at 6:30pm on Thursday the 20th of December 2007.
With apologies to Amnesty International… yet again.As with previous years, candles and song sheets will be made available, with donations going to Medical Aid for Iraqi Children.
However, this year we will NOT be demonstrating in favour of Christmas without seeking police permission. We will instead be demonstrating against Christmas with police permission… just to be difficult.
Previously, the police have been a little bit confused about what does and does not constitute a demonstration, which is what makes their enforcement of Section 132 of the Serious and Organised Crimes and Police Act (2005) so charmingly inconsistent.
To help clarify matters, we are repeating a demonstration (that the police have claimed is not a demonstration) that is identical in every significant detail… bar one:
This year, we will be demonstrating against something instead of demonstrating in favour of it… and requesting permission so the classifcation of this event as a demonstration (or not) is on record.
UPDATE (18 Dec) – The verdict is in! The police have decided that we DO need permission. Apparently staging an event in support of Christmas is legal within a designated area without police permission, and staging an event against Christmas is not. The police are therefore guilty of religious discrimination.
KATE Moss is suing Pete Doherty to top him releasing a sex tape the pair made during their great romance.
The New York Post’s Page Six reports:
The Babyshambles frontman is negotiating with Britain’s ITV2 network to tell all about their romance and share his home videos of her in a documentary titled “Kate & Pete: A Love Story.” Doherty, who split with Moss last summer, could make $1 million, a source said, adding, “Producers hope he’ll let them use a lot of film he and Kate shot on camcorders.”
Hands up who wants to see Peter Doherty naked? We said hand up…
URI Geller went to the Savoy Hotel auction and bought 360 spoons. You can never have too many spoons…
SEAN Hoey has been cleared of causing the Omagh bombing which killed 29 people.
This means no-one has been charged with the massacre…
RUSSELL Crowe has fought virtual reality lions, and he has won. And now he won again, taking on the poker machines.
Crowe and his business partner, Peter Holmes a Court, wanted the 60 poker machines removed from the South Sydney league club in Redfern, Sydney.
Crowe and Holmes own a 75 per cent stake in the National Rugby League.
The machines rake in $1.7 million (£850,000)-a-year. Godo money for a club. But, then, what’s money when you are rich movie star and your partner a member of one of the richest families in Australia.
Say Crowe and Homes a Court: “We are not moralising here, we just believe that low-income areas like Redfern need less poker machines rather than more.
“We believe a club can be successful if it caters for our members and the broad community; is a place where families can gather for conversation and good food; and the distracting din of pokies doesn’t stop the conversation or drown out live music.”
Conversation and good food at a sports ground… Live the dream , Russell. Live the dream…
You can live the dream here, without Russell Crowe spoiling your fun…
ANORAK has teamed up with Betfair to offer our readers a bonus when they sign up to play online casino.
Find our more here.
THE iPond is an iPod with an aquarium! A fish lives in 650 millilitres of water:
RSPCA spokesman Hugh Wirth said despite the fighting fish’s ability to breathe air from the surface, the tank was far too small for it to receive adequate oxygen. The small volume of water would lead to rapid temperature change and this meant the tropical fish would not live long, he said. The iPond should be banned, Dr Wirth said.
WRITES Ali from Las Vegas:
People unfamiliar with the US seem to think there are no Muslims in Las Vegas. Here is a pictorial essay from the LA Times about Muslims in Las Vegas. Here is a Muslim describing the situation in Las Vegas after 9/11. Here is a Muslim from Las Vegas — one of the leaders of the largest mosque — decrying radicalism. It was in Las Vegas that Mitt Romney’s bigotry towards Muslims was exposed. Further, Las Vegas has one of two major Muslim run free clinics for underserved areas ( see page two).
Famous Muslim personalities that have been driven down the Strip on their visits include Congressman Ellison, Sherman Jackson, the blind Quran scholar Muhammad Ayoub, and numerous others. A few years ago Las Vegas hosted a Quran conference. Updated: As I am new here, I am told that this conference occurs every year.
Computing Engineers Wanted:
SAY Heather Mills’ rep: “Right now she is counselling cancer children in the US and trying to facilitate a bone marrow transplant to a young mother so that this mother can live. That is the story of her life”
And the middle bit about those jazz mags…
Duelling For Same Phone Sex Job (NSFW):
ON the Anorak Forums: No, not that one her 16 year old sister.
What’s that saying, you can take the girl out of Hicksville USA but you can’t take the Hick out of the girl?
THE reasons for Northern Rock disaster chief executive Applegarth’s quick scuttle out of his office and down the back stairs for full-time departure last week became a little clearer yesterday when the Bank of England admitted the loans to the toppling bank have now hit £60 billion.
It looks very much like New Labour, having got rid of Post Office small saving accounts and completely knackered a traditional method of getting children into a savings habit, is going to have to open its own piggy bank and Nationalise the still massively haemorrhaging Northern Rock.
A Bank take-over can now only be attractive to Sado-Masochists and suicidal accountancy examination candidates. No sane qualified person would take the job on. This is a bleed of jugular arterial proportions. No Virgin plaster is going to fix this: Radical surgery is called for…in clinicians’ parlance it would be termed a commando operation because the surgeon has to do very brave things…. Read on
I said last week, we have fought World Wars on less and this figure represents twice the UK Defence budget.
ANOTHER list: “Fortune magazine has chosen Sony’s use of Manchester Cathedral as the backdrop to a violent game as one of its “101 Dumb Moments in Business” for 2007.”
The gaffe was picked at number 63 by the US publication in its list of “the dumbest of the dumb” occurrences.
Sony apologised to the Church of England for using the cathedral as a backdrop to “Resistance: Fall of Man”.
Fortune put the recall of millions of Chinese-made toys because of paint fears at the top of the list.
In second spot was Eli Lilly’s move to put Prozac into chewable, beef-flavoured pills “to treat separation anxiety in dogs”.
And in third place was Leona “only little people pay taxes” Helmsley’s decision to leave $12m to her dog in her will.
Number 4 was the Guardian not meeting the Anorak
HENRY Porter on Jack Straw and Polly Toynbee in the Guardian Online.
The air is clearing now. Each one of us is probably more certain where we stand in the ideological divide that is opening up. Are we for the growth of state power at the expense of individual freedom, or do we believe that our democracy depends on individual freedom and an inviolate system of rights? If you agree with the following propositions you may just find yourself on the opposite side to Straw and Toynbee.
NO – No- No! “Singer Amy Winehouse has been arrested in connection with an investigation into perverting the course of justice”
Nick Cleggs – Not a name that inspires much? Nick, Dave or Gordon..?
MEN make passes with foreigners in glasses: “The Italian company that makes the spectacles worn by new England manager Fabio Capello is to launch its range in the UK.
“Mr Capello has been the public face of the company, Zerorh+, since he started modelling the glasses in 2001.”
Time to get rid of those Svens…
DON’T leave it late to be a professional footballer. This is the Arsenal squad for tonight’s match in Blackburn:
2 Abou DIABY (Age 21)
6 Philippe SENDEROS (Age 22)
8 Lassana DIARRA (Age 22)
9 EDUARDO (Age 24)
15 DENILSON (Age 19)
17 Alex SONG (Age 20)
21 Lukasz FABIANSKI (GK) (Age 22)
26 Nicklas BENDTNER (Age 19)
30 Armand TRAORE (Age 18)
31 Justin HOYTE (Age 22)
34 Kieran GIBBS (Age 18)
36 Mark RANDALL (Age 18)
40 Vito MANNONE (GK) (Age 19)
41 Gavin HOYTE (Age 17)
42 Fran MERIDA (Age 17)
43 Nacer BARAZITE (Age 17)
NOT for being black surely: “Formula One sensation Lewis Hamilton had his driving licence suspended for a month after being caught speeding on a French motorway, police said.
“The British driver was at the wheel of a Mercedes when he was clocked at 196 km/h near the northern town of Laon on Sunday.
Police stopped him, detained the car and fined him 600 euros (£429).”
Almost worth it…
REMEMBER: lock yourself in your room:
AS reported: “The Saudi king has pardoned a female rape victim sentenced to jail and 200 lashes for being alone with a man raped in the same attack, reports say.”
The “Qatif girl” case caused an international outcry with widespread criticism of the Saudi justice system.
The male and female victims were in a car together when they were abducted and raped by seven attackers, who were given jail sentences up to nine years.
Press reports say King Abdullah’s move did not mean the sentence was wrong.
Quoted by the Jazirah newspaper, Justice Minister Abdullah al-Sheikh said the king had the right to issue pardons if it served the public interest.
Women in Saudi Arabia are not allowed to mix with men who are not close family members.
The custodial sentence plus 200 lashes was imposed after the woman, who has not been named, appealed against an earlier sentence of 90 lashes.
THE whole project began out of spite. I had just purchased a digital camera (Nikon CoolPix 900), and it was rather expensive. My girlfriend asked me why I bought it and what I was going to do with it. I explained. She asked me if I was “going to use it every day”, with sarcastic inflection. I told her yes, and resolved to do so. The project began there.
SAYS Bono: “I’m a top line melody guy. That’s what I do. I understand harmony. I understand rhythm. But I sell ideas – musical, political, and in this case, commercial ideas. So many great painters, great musicians, great geniuses ended up with nothing. With broken hearts in rooms with broken windows. I want to see artists sitting at the table that decides the outcome of their lives.”
Bono has set up a £950 million investment company called Elevation Partners. It recently invested £125 million into American magazine Forbes, which openly describes itself as a “capitalist tool“