We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.
IF you had purchased $1,000.00 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you
would have $49.00 left.
With Merrill Lynch, you would have had $16.50 left of the original
With Lehman Brothers, you would probably have nothing, but if you were
lucky, less than $5.00 left.
However, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank
all of the beer, then turned in the bottles and cans for the recycling
REFUND, you would have $214.00 cash.
IT’S Banned Books Week.In America:
Banned Books Week is the only national celebration of the freedom to read. It was launched in 1982 in response to a sudden surge in the number of challenges to books in schools, bookstores and libraries. More than a thousand books have been challenged since 1982.
Can a student just stand up and challenge the book in class?
According to the American Library Association, more than 400 books were challenged in 2007. The 10 most challenged titles were:
It’s the must-buy guide:
IT’S the Folsom Street Fair. Exhibit A:
In remarks prepared for a press conference this morning at San Francisco’s City Hall, Americans For Truth President Peter LaBarbera said that – like homosexual “marriage” — the public perversions and nudity allowed to go on at the annual “Folsom Street Fair” in House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s district represent America’s deepening moral crisis.
What’s going on?
The Folsom Street Fair is a true San Francisco original. With over 400,000 people in attendance covering 13 city blocks, the Fair is the largest leather/fetish event in the world and the third largest, single-day outdoor event in California. Folsom Street Events is thrilled to celebrate the historic 25th Folsom Street Fair with style and a week’s worth of truly outstanding events and programs over the course of San Francisco Leather Week.
THOSE party conferences are just an excuse to debate into the small hours:
Maybe it was something in my eyes, but as I wandered around the GMEX picking up freebies in the form of frisbies, screwdrivers, pens, paperclips and countless varieties of sweets, I was approached by an operative of the Terrence Higgins Trust who handed me a free chlamydia test.
What are Tories tested for?
TMZ reports that Heather Locklear was pulled over while driving in the Santa Barbara area, and the Celebrity Police Force are “conducting tests to determine if Locklear was under the influence of drugs”.
And if not, why not?
And here’s the rub:
This could set up a bizarre custody battle given that Locklear and ex-hubby Richie Sambora have both been busted for similar charges.
Sambora pleaded no contest to DUI back in Marc…
Bizzare, how? Do we see who the CPF spends more time with and give them the child..?
IN Egypt, there is no freedom of speech:
Ibrahim Eissa, editor of the independent daily al-Dustor, was originally convicted in March and sentenced to six months on charges of reporting and publishing false information that questioned the health of 80-year-old President Hosni Mubarak. The judges at the time ruled that a series of articles he published threatened national stability and caused foreign investors to pull their money out of the country.
Yeah, having no friends keeps you cool. Does Mother Nature have too many friends? Are Friends of The Earth giving Her a hot flush?
The BBC contacts a Dr Lesley Prince, a lecturer in psychology at Birmingham University. He tells us:
“I particularly like the idea that if people are feeling despondent or lonely, you could help them feel better by putting the temperature up.”
Crank your engines. Plug in an extra fridge. And let’s all feel better about ourselves…
So here are three men allegedly pouring petrol through the letter box of Martin Rynja’s Islington home – he’s “the boss of a publishing company that is to release a novel about the private life of the Prophet Mohammed.”
The book, The Jewel Of Medina, is a fictional account of the Prophet’s relationship with his nine-year-old bride Aisha. Says the blurb:
WANT to read about how three women, aged 16 to 18, were buried alive with a JCB for the awful crime of expressing the desire to marry someone they had chosen.
And this is our ally?:
MISSOURI GOVERNOR MATT BLUNT on those Missouri Truth Squads:
JEFFERSON CITY – Gov. Matt Blunt today issued the following statement on news reports that have exposed plans by U.S. Senator Barack Obama to use Missouri law enforcement to threaten and intimidate his critics.
“St. Louis County Circuit Attorney Bob McCulloch, St. Louis City Circuit Attorney Jennifer Joyce, Jefferson County Sheriff Glenn Boyer, and Obama and the leader of his Missouri campaign Senator Claire McCaskill have attached the stench of police state tactics to the Obama-Biden campaign.
“What Senator Obama and his helpers are doing is scandalous beyond words, the party that claims to be the party of Thomas Jefferson is abusing the justice system and offices of public trust to silence political criticism with threats of prosecution and criminal punishment. This abuse of the law for intimidation insults the most sacred principles and ideals of Jefferson. I can think of nothing more offensive to Jefferson’s thinking than using the power of the state to deprive Americans of their civil rights.
THE new Tory website boasts “IT’S TIME FOR CHANGE”.
Change… Like Obama…
The discovery of several hot dogs in packages outside Citizens Bank Park brought the bomb squad out and forced the temporary evacuation of the stadium Wednesday evening.
According to police, Pattison Street between Darien and 11th Streets was shutdown as officials investigated the discovery of several suspicious packages near a ticket office.
Fans inside the stadium were evacuated, but players remained on the field during the incident.
Bomb squad members further investigated the packages and determined they were simply several hot dogs in foil wrappers. Sadly, the wieners were detonated as a precaution.
It’s what the pig would have wanted…
HOW many nutters who dropped a shard of copper into Omar Bakri’s big pot believed the “UK’s Twin Towers” would be a building and not a pair of false breasts?
And who would have supposed that such a gigantic tit as Omar Bakri would sire a daughter who was a flat chested as the Taliban Boys’ Choir’s Ironing Board Society?
Mindful of this, our attention is caught by happenings in Colorado, where a teenager has hired men to kill his mother so he could use her money to get breast implants for his girlfriend.
SARAH Palin, an Alaska mayor, writes to a California newspaper:
“Dear Editor,” Palin wrote in 2002. “San Francisco judges forbidding our Pledge of Allegiance? They will take the phrase ‘under God’ away from me when my cold, dead lips can no longer utter those words.”
It’s hard not to like Sarah Palin…
HILLARY Clinton supporter Kathryn Oberly writes in the Chicago Tribune:
“So on June 4, after the last primary vote had been counted and I could no longer delude myself into thinking Hillary could still win the nomination, I just wasn’t ready to jump on Barack Obama’s bandwagon. It was too soon. I needed time to grieve.
And grieve I did, for an entire month”.
To rival pictures of Churchill flashing a Victory salute, US soldiers raising the flag on Iwo Jima and Saddam Hussein in his underpants, is Yummy Yasmin Fostok to flash her Twin Towers?
The West will surely have won when Yasmin gets ‘em our for the lads.
The Mail features the totems of our success on the battle field, and in the hearts and minds, with a shot of Yasmin cradling her chest and the headline: “Revealed: Radical cleric Bakri’s pole-dancer daughter.”
Well, revealed yesterday in the Sun, but here she is again. Says the paper:
Hundreds of youngsters go wild over the daughter of the preacher of hate who rants against Western ‘depravity’.
And so too will thousands of middle-aged men and other Mail readers who likeways rail, and stare, we’d wager.
And what of those boobs? Truthers tuning in might wonder at their authenticity. And, indeed, Yasmin’s weapons of mass detraction are fakes, paid for by her dear old dad.
Victor Davis Hanson blames everyone:
No one dares to ask what really drove the wheeler-dealer portfolio managers… Who fostered the cash-in culture in which both Wall Street profit mongering and Washington lobbying are nourished and thrive? We citizens did — red-state conservatives and blue-state liberals… We may be victims of Wall Street greed — but not quite innocent victims.
We created the cultural climate for this shared madness. Television shows advised how to “flip” a house after putting in cosmetic improvements. Real-estate seminars and popular videos convinced us that homes were not places to live in and raise a family but rather no different from piles of chips on a Vegas table…The problem went way beyond real-estate fantasies. Five-percent interest as a return on our money was once considered pretty good…But soon retirement-account holders and institutional investors began to expect as a given 7, 10 — and even 20 — percent “return” on their portfolios.
In the middle of the bailout deadlock I searched for lines on: “What would FDR do?” And sure enough up they popped. But first, where are we now? Politically in chaos, the Republicans are split over the amazing phenomenon of an “unAmerican” state takeover of a large chunk of the US financial industry by a Republican administration. Bush sucks, Paulson kneels down before Speaker Pelosi and Pelosi replies: “I didn’t know you were a Catholic”. McCain seems to have flunked it, sitting silent at the big round table and then siding with the Republican no-dealers.
Well as the New York Times puts it:
‘Government Seizes WaMu and Sells Some Assets’
Though the headline omits to mention that the assets were what Hank ‘Call me Uncle Joe’ Paulson likes to describe as ‘Troubled Assets’.
And everybody is writing about it, which is fair enough since this is the biggest bank failure in US history; Washington Mutual had $307 billion in assets, so it’s probably the biggest bank failure in the history of the Solar system.
But nobody, so far, has asked whether John McCain’s plan to assist his own Troubled Asset, his Presidential campaign, by disrupting the bipartisan agreement that was reported to have been reached on the ‘Buddy Can You Spare a Trillion’ plan was the dagger in the back of WaMu’s share and bond holders.
As the reports started coming out of the talks ‘imploding’ whatever last hopes WaMu had of surviving disappeared, and it went under without the new CEO even knowing about it; don’t worry, he gets to keep the signing on fee.
It looks like McCain has been running an ‘off the record plan’, the political equivalent of Off Balance Sheet financing, and he appears to be perfectly willing to let anything or anyone go down if it will put him in the White House.
Which is also fair enough; that’s what politicians do. And maybe the rest of the media will notice it sometime soon…
IF girls can wear make-up to school, why not boys?
A Hamilton teenager is fighting for his right to wear makeup at school, but school leaders say it’s a distraction.
“They’re gender stereo-typing. He’s being sexually discriminated against. Nowhere in the rules does it say that males can’t wear make-up” says Mindy Ball.
The Hamilton mother says she stands 100% behind her son, 13-year-old Matt Allsup, an eighth grader at Garfield Middle School who wears black eye makeup, lipstick and fingernail polish.
But on Monday, he was told to wash the makeup off his face, with the assistant principal telling him it was distracting and against dress code.
“When I spoke to the principal,” Ball says, “She told me it was distracting because of the black makeup and I said, ‘Well, I’ll get him pink,’ and she said no, because he’s a male, he’s not allowed to wear it, the public don’t accept males wearing make-up.”
Allsup says, “None of my classmates found it distracting or anything – and it’s not extreme. I don’t see why I can’t wear it.”
Ball and her son point out that every student is required to wear a character badge – and one of the qualities it pledges is acceptance.
“It says, ‘do you value the uniqueness of all students,’ and they’re not letting me be unique,” says Allsup. “I don’t see why we have to wear them if we’re not able to express who we are.”
Says Rachel Lucas:
You know, I’ve always thought the best way to handle any public school situation like this would be to put it up to a vote by all the people who are paying for the kid’s education – the taxpayers of the district. If I’m paying for all these little turkeys to get their learnin’, I should get a say in what kind of stupid shit they’re allowed to get away with, or not.
OMAR Bakri’s legacy to the nation is not only a green Ford Galaxy and a wiry hair in the soap dish; he leaves us in the company of “busty” Yasmin Fostok, 27, his daughter who functions as a pole dancer.
“I don’t get on with my dad,” says Yasmin, who appears on the Sun’s front page dressed in a T-shirt, jeans and fur-collared jacket.
The Sun does get on with Barki. It picks up the phone and dials “1” to get Bakri’s view. Somewhere in a converted caravan in Lebanon, a red phone is ringing.
AH, the smell of David Beckham and Her Poshness:
Tomorrow. New York. At Macy’s. Posh and Becks will make an in store appearance to promote their new fragrance Beckham Signature His and Her. For Him: smells like having sex with plastic and bones. For Her: smells like concrete tits, hunger, and bunions. First 300 get to meet them, receive autographs, and watch them pose their balls off.
COURIC: You’ve cited Alaska’s proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?
PALIN: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and on our other side, the land– boundary that we have with– Canada. It– it’s funny that a comment like that was– kind of made to– cari– I don’t know, you know? Reporters–
PALIN: Yeah, mocked, I guess that’s the word, yeah.
COURIC: Explain to me why that enhances your foreign policy credentials.
PALIN: Well, it certainly does because our– our next door neighbors are foreign countries. They’re in the state that I am the executive of. And there in Russia–
COURIC: Have you ever been involved with any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?
PALIN: We have trade missions back and forth. We– we do– it’s very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is– from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to– to our state.
Nashi V Camp Okutta: Russian Scouts And Candian Moose F*ckers Prepare For War
Russia Calls Sarah Palin A ‘Shreiking Cow From Alaska’
Sarah Palin’s Proximatey To Russia And Other Foreign Policies
Sarah Palin Watch: Britain’s View Of Sarah Palin
STEVIE notices that Breakingviews.com have stolen June’s line about the ‘Consummation should have been over and done with…anyone checked the honeymooners sheets?’ …on the Morgan Stanley deal…22 hours later.
You have to take out a trial membership to see the entire article but it tells us that it – ‘raised worries it may not consumnate its mating’.
Breakingviews.com wants to charge people for its incredibly quick commentary about breaking news…
No-one pays for online news – they’re f***ed…
SWITZERLAND can soon buy its milk in bulk:
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow’s milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman.
“PETA’s request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow’s milk in the food he serves,” the statement says.
Look out for Milk And Cookies…