We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.
IN the Anorak Forums Spudgun writes: “So when the tragedy that unfolded, concerning a young child named Madeleine McCann, in Praia da Luz on the 3rd May 2007, I was drawn to this case with perhaps a slightly greater initial interest and concern than my fellow countryman. Here was a child from my own nation, missing from a country that I love and which I consider to be my second home.
My own personal concerns and interests in this case have never particularly related to whether the McCanns are innocent or guilty, but rather, why we have a British Press and Government that appears hell bent on TELLING us that the McCann’s are inarguably innocent, and doing so in a manner that I consider threatens to seriously taint the very alliance that has existed between our countries for 630 years.
By virtue of the secrecy laws that encapsulate the Portuguese judicial system, this was always only ever going to be a case presented entirely by the media with little or next to no ‘official’ input, making it impossible to distinguish between what could be factual, fabrication or just plain speculation. From an early stage in the proceedings, however, apparent doubts and suspicions surrounding the McCanns began to surface in the Portuguese press and media, claiming to be citing Polícia Judiciária sources.
Some of these suspicions were picked up on and reprinted in the British newspapers but only ALWAYS with the added clarification that the stories were “scurrilous lies”, “outrageous allegations” or “ludicrous claims” and NEVER without the statement from “sources/friends close to the McCanns”, asserting that it was all “hurtful and unhelpful speculation”.
THE Guardian: “We misspelled the word misspelled twice, as mispelled, in the Corrections and clarifications column on September 26, page 30.”
US BASEBALL players were on steroids
They were all on steroids.
FOR younger looking skin: “The dribble of snail contains: allantoin, glicolic acid, collagen, eslatin, proteins, antibiotics and natural vitamins.”
The studies have verified that the dribble of snail allows to prevent and to eliminate wrinkles, to attenuate grooves, to eliminate scars caused for wounded and burns of first degree, to remove the acne, to clean spots produced by the sun. It has also demonstrated to be effective to eliminate warts of the skin.
JEFFREY Archer: “On Monday and Tuesday evenings we held out champagne and shepherd’s pie parties, which for me always herald in the beginning of Christmas.”
OH yes: “Police in southern India are hunting for two men who attacked a Hindu holy man, cut off his right leg and then made off with it.
“The 80-year-old holy man, Yanadi Kondaiah, claimed to have healing powers in the leg.
“He is now recovering from his ordeal in hospital in the city of Tirupati in the state of Andhra Pradesh.”
DEAR PRINCESS DIANA: “If invited, I will always do my utmost to help you and Charles to the best of my ability, but I am quite ready to concede that I have no talents as a marriage counsellor!!!”
Diana replied: “Dearest Pa, I was particularly touched by your most recent letter which proved to me, if I didn’t already know it, that you really do care.
“You are very modest about your marriage guidance skills and I disagree with you.
“This latest letter of yours showed great understanding and tact and I hope to be able to draw on your advice in the months ahead.”
ON the Forums: “THIS one should get one Bob Green fizzing – Adam Applegarth, Chief Executive of Northern Rock today has finally stepped out of his office and away from the helm of the crisis-hit bank with immediate effect after 24 years with the business.”
Mr Applegarth, who had intended to hang on until next February, said: “It is time to hand over to management who I’m confident will be part of the company’s future. I wish them and the board every success.”
The Newcastle-based lender is being propped up by an estimated £30 billion in taxpayers’ money. Northern Rock was forced to seek an emergency bailout from the Bank of England after being… more
THE GUARDIAN: “Carbon myths – Recycling and banning plastic bags are all very well, but they won’t save the planet. Instead, we should fly less, go vegan and insulate the loft, says Chris Goodall”
Politicians extol the virtues of domestic generation of electricity. The Conservatives and Liberal Democrats have committed themselves to paying us 45p a unit for electricity from the solar panels on our roof, about 10 times the wholesale price paid to the large, coal-fired Drax power station, in North Yorkshire. Microgeneration may be fashionable, but it is an astonishingly expensive way of reducing emissions. Less glamorous, but more effective, would be a plan to put a £20 note in the centre of every roll of loft insulation. British houses are the worst insulated in northern Europe and subsidised insulation would cut emissions far more cheaply than encouraging wind turbines or solar photovoltaic panels
THE TIMES front page: “Up on the roof – a power struggle”
Wind or sun? Should Britain be a land of little windmills or should we hope that global warming kicks in and our enemy the sun stops giving us cancer and instead makes enough juice for us to our TV,s PCs and SUVs?
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s Gordon Brown’s solar panels versus David Cameron’s wind turbine. It would take 100 years to recoup the £15,000 investment of Brown’s panels, and 60 years to make Cameron’s £ 3,100 turbine’s pay.
David Cameron has both panels and turbine. He may also have a hydro electric damn in the bath between the duck, the flannel and the clockwork mermaid.
Says Gordon Brown in “Did I ever think it would be fun? …well you can never get bored”: “Very quietly we have put solar panels on our home in Scotland quite some time ago. We have been operating with solar power for some time.”
Very quietly – and talked about in the pages of a national newspaper…
FROM the Anorak Forums, AGW writes: Another tummy trouble tale for you.
A TEENAGER who had her lover’s nickname tattooed onto her stomach found out months after they split up that it actually said “supermarket”.
The mistake was discovered when the North East of England young woman walked into a Chinese takeaway to find out what the symbols 超级市场 meant.
She had asked a tattoo parlour to put her friend’s nickname “Roo” on her midriff. She chose a capital R, capital O and lower case o to have different symbols.
It cost her eighty quid and a lifetime of embarrassment.
Ah well, at least the local studs know where to shop.
She should claim her stomach is labelled Heaven’s Door…who’d know?
FROM the Anroak forums, a card for each of you to cherish…
Join the bringers of cheer in the forums…
SAYS Dizzy: “How the Government ignores its own advice – Why is it that those who offer the best advice rarely heed the same advice themselves? Peter Mandelson for example was renowned for being brilliant at giving out advice to avoid media hiccups, but when it came to his own private life he was a complete mess.”
The same it seems is true of the Government. Take for example the Cabinet Office sponsored sponsors Get Safe Online campaign. The Cabinet Office has spent £300,000 on this worthy campaign will soon provide a futher £150,000 to it to help educate the masses.
The phrase “practice what you preach” springs to mind doesn’t it?
Eat more veg…
The Anorak’s initial response to news that Germans are “war-shy” is to jump in the air for joy, delighted that there is no German equivalent to the motto “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try and try again”.
But the Sun seems upset that the Germans have branded themselves “cake–eaters”.
News is that over in Afghanistan while British fighters do battle in the southern part of the country, the Germans are eating Black Forest Gateau and, as the picture shows, practising penalties in games of table football.
The Sun has seen a “secret memo” penned by German “military chiefs” which mentions “cake-eating Germans in the North”. The Germans have been told “NOT to talk about a recent German operation” and have “tried to cover up exactly how little their troops are doing”.
Indeed, dear reader. It is a case of don’t mention the war. Or, as the memo says: “Don’t mention ze var”…
CATS: “South Korean scientists have cloned cats by manipulating a fluorescent protein gene, a procedure which could help develop treatments for human genetic diseases”
In a side-effect, the cloned cats glow in the dark when exposed to ultraviolet beams.
A team of scientists led by Kong Il-keun, a cloning expert at Gyeongsang National University, produced three cats possessing altered fluorescence protein (RFP) genes, the Ministry of Science and Technology said.
“It marked the first time in the world that cats with RFP genes have been cloned,” the ministry said in a statement.
“The ability to produce cloned cats with the manipulated genes is significant as it could be used for developing treatments for genetic diseases and for reproducing model (cloned) animals suffering from the same diseases as humans,” it added.
Uses for a cat 1: Night light
Madonna face-lift rumors [Ayyyy!]
Who, sadly, had a mild heart attack? [POTP]
Jodie Foster tells everyone what they knew [Gabby Babble]
Apple Martin is a a name to conjure with [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
DR Barry N J Walters, an Australian, has written to the Medical Journal of Australia saying:
Every family choosing to have more than a defined number of children (Sustainable Population Australia suggests a maximum of two) should be charged a carbon tax that would fund the planting of enough trees to offset the carbon cost generated by a new human being. The average annual CO2 emission by an Australian individual is about 17 metric tons,4 including energy usage. As the biomass of trees in a mature forest sequesters about 6 metric tons of CO2 per hectare (104 m2) per year,4,5 each child born should be offset by planting 4 hectares of trees, to allow for the time they take to reach maturity, and attrition through crop losses, bushfires, dieback and so on. This infers a levy per child of at least $5000 at birth (to purchase the land needed and plant trees) and an annual tax of $400–$800 thereafter for the life of the child (for maintenance of the afforestation project) (based on 1990 figures, and probably much more now).
Cursed shalll be the Australian infant who cannot afford the green levy. And Australia is the “expanding economy” offering “wonderful employment opportunities for skilled migrants” – including those carbon exhalers versed in “furniture making, automotive trades, health services, horticulture, hospitality, metal machining, toolmaking, urban and regional planning, welding and teaching”.
And “advanced sciences”…
More on Australia’s human virus here
Bernard Weiner writes on George Bush:
“But Bush’s show-event is in line with how he governs: not aligned with reality. His actions mostly involve denial and fantasy, both of which require stage-settings and lots of spin. He did it with the deceptive use of the term “compassionate conservative” in his initial campaign for president.
“He did it in 2003 on an aircraft carrier under a banner “Mission Accomplished,” declaring that the U.S. had “prevailed” in Iraq. He did it with the plastic turkey he carried around for the cameras at a Thanksgiving dinner for the troops in Iraq. He did it standing in front of a stage-set in New Orleans, when he promised post-Katrina help that never came, or came too-little-too-late to do most locals much good. Etc., etc.”
WRITES ALi Eteraz: “I have a question.”
Let’s say a magazine — a big magazine — publishes something xenophobic, bordering on the racist, like, I don’t know: “Hey, the Mozlems are breeding too fast and soon will take over!!!!”
What should Muslims do? They could: 1) Write a letter to the editor, right? 2) Maybe write many letters to the editor, right? 3) Maybe write in any publication they can, rebutting the piece, right? 4) Maybe even submit a rebuttal piece in the offending publication, right?
Let’s say they do all of those but aren’t able to accomplish number four. The magazine rejects their request for “equal space” to rebut (though is willing to guarantee publishing a letter to the editor).
Does that rejection give Muslims the right to sue the magazine, alleging that the magazine has violated their fundamental human rights, and take them to the court?
In other words, does the magazine “owe it to” Muslims to give them space?
Yes or no?
All this is happening in Canada right now, and my latest Guardian article covers it. Click the link to get familiar with the facts.
I honestly believe that the answer is no. The magazine doesn’t owe any such duty.
As much as I dislike Steyn’s argument, and all such Malthusian xenophobes like Huntington — in fact, if anyone can mock Steyn the way I mocked Huntington I will give them a prominent link from this blog — I can’t support the Canadian Islamic Congress’ decision to take the offending magazine before the Human Rights Commission.
Why don’t they just go publish their rebuttal elsewhere? In fact, if they are willing to drop their Human Rights complaint I will help them get published in Guardian.
The CIC is really not thinking this through. Under their standard, if in the future a Canadian Muslim starts a magazine and criticizes someone from the right wing, that right-winger then can go to the Human Rights Commission and demand “equal space” in the offending Muslim publication! Why would you want to go down this road?!
THE other Wikipedia: “The blockbuster success of Yahoo! Answers is all the more surprising once you spend a few days using the site. While Answers is a valuable window into how people look for information online, it looks like a complete disaster as a traditional reference tool. It encourages bad research habits, rewards people who post things that aren’t true, and frequently labels factual errors as correct information. It’s every middle-school teacher’s worst nightmare about the Web.”
IKEA: “Ram-raiders staged a daring robbery in Madrid on Sunday, by driving through the window of a packed Ikea store and firing several shots into the air. The raid, which lasted only 75 seconds, saw the thieves make off with just €5,000“. Source
Either that, or Spain has a provisional wing to some interior decorating company.
AS 14 notes: “Is Jay-Z popping champagne and colluding with the Devil? Some folks are convinced he is. Rumors persist that the world’s richest rap mogul is part of the secret cult of the Illuminati.”
We need a new cult to come to the fore, what with Scientology and Kabbalah so established…
GLOBAL warming: “Every newborn baby in Australia represents a potent source of greenhouse gas emissions for an average of 80 years, not simply by breathing but by the profligate consumption of resources typical of our society.
“Far from showering financial booty on new mothers and rewarding greenhouse-unfriendly behaviour, a ‘baby levy’ in the form of a carbon tax should apply, in line with the ‘polluter pays’ principle,” – Professor Barry Walters, clinical associate professor of obstetric medicine at the University of Western Australia.
(Hat tip: Dish.)