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THERE’S no better insight into the teenage girl psyche than those ubiquitous teen magazines. So, let’s step into the mind of early Seventies teenyboppers and take a look at the March 1971 issue of ‘TEEN magazine. It’s chock full groovy advertising and advice, fashion and feminine hygiene. Within its glorious pages we’ll find a plethora of mini-skirts, a cry for the whereabouts of Peter Tork, and how to look fabulous in the jungles of Vietnam. Come take a look!
DYE ADVERT – MAY CAUSE ACID FLASHBACK
This tie-dye painting in combination with that wallpaper is causing a bit of a sensory overload. While I’m sure that wall is nice while gobbling up psychedelics, it would be migraine inducing on a daily basis.
IT’S one of those little tragedies that hits most peoples’ love lives at one time or another. One starts out the evening lookin’ fer a little lurve and the eye alights upon one carrying a little extra weight. Some interesting handfuls perhaps: and then one wakes up next to a beached whale. Fortunately, now we know the answer. You should have eaten before you went looking:
It is a well-known maxim that you shouldn’t visit the supermarket when feeling hungry, but new research suggests the same is true when going out in search of romance.
Both men and women are more likely to be attracted to people who are larger when they go out on an empty stomach.
Men, in particular will choose more voluptuous women if they have missed a meal while women go for larger, heavier set men.
But scientists warn that when then hunger is sated, they may not feel the same.
THE first war-correspondent dispatch from the D-Day landings came from Gustav, an RAF Coastal Command homing-pigeon, released by the Reuters news agency reporter Mr Montague Taylor. The pigeons were taken across the channel in wicker baskets on servicemen’s backs and set free to fly home with vital information.
The message connected to Gustav’s leg read:
We are just 20 miles or so off the beaches.
First assault troops landed 0750. Signal says no interference from enemy gunfire on beach… Steaming steadily in formation.
Lightnings, Typhoons, Fortresses crossing since 0545. No enemy aircraft seen.
THE War on Free Speech spots 24 students at Cowan Road Middle School, Spalding County, Atlanta, suspended for reading and responding to a Facebook post.
Of course, that could be worse. In the UK you can be jailed for that sort of thing.
The Facebook post that got the students rusticated was once encouraging them peers to break the school’s dress code during the final week of classes. The idea was for them to “wear red” on Monday.
One 7th Grade student says her response “I’m in” got her busted.
MADELEINE McCann: A look at the missing child in the news.
The child renamed ‘Our Maddie, by the media is back on the front pages.
Has anything been found on the dig in Praia da Luz?
THIS looks like a nice little piece of multi-tasking. There was a non-commissioned officer in the US Army who was tasked with making sure that the number of sexual assaults was kept to the minimum possible (obviously, preferably none). And he decided to do this by asking some of the more hard up female soldiers whether they’d like to do a bit of escort work, a bit of prostitution, on the side.
Well done that man:
THE Lake Annecy Murders: A 50-year-old former French Legionnaire questioned over the murders of Sylvain Mollier and three members of the al-Hilli family from Surrey is dead. Police says he left a note.
Eric Maillaud, the Annecy prosecutor, says the man “left a note of six or seven pages in which he said he was disturbed by the questioning. He felt accused… It does not make this the main or sole reason for his action.”
Mr Maillaud says the man was not considered to have been a suspect.
Just as well…
This seems to boil down to a fundamental misunderstanding by the White House of military culture. If soldiers had reacted the way O expected, celebrating the release of a POW, it really would have tamped down the criticism of Bergdahl. For obvious reasons: If the men who risk their lives defending America are willing to forgive him and welcome his return, who are the rest of us to question him? But that’s not how the men who served with him reacted; in fact, unless I missed it, not a single member of Bergdahl’s unit has spoken up in his defense. Obama gambled heavily that both veterans and the media would keep quiet. He lost.
SOME stories are so terrible they need repeating.
Clifford Clarke, 79, was cooking a meal in his Liverpool home. He opened the back door to let in some fresh air. Outside was a dog. Charlie was not his. The Presa Canario cross-breed had escaped from the garden of his neighbours Hayley Sulley, 30, and 29-year-old Della Woods. Charlie was one of the couple’s three dogs. All big dogs. All status dogs.
PRESIDENT Obama looks weak. Doesn’t he? He’s ordered the release of five Afghan militants from Guantanamo Bay in exchange for American soldier Bowe Bergdahl. Private First Class Bergdahl was captured by the Taliban on June 30 2009. So they say. Some of his former comrades says he deserted. But Bergdahl was the only US prisoner held in Afghanistan.
The US tried to rescue him. Six soldiers died trying.
THE England squad has departed to Miami for warm-up games en route to the World Cup finals in Brazil.
Or should that be ‘the England squad has embarked upon its iconic journey to Miami…’?
A recent ‘survey’ conducted among passengers at Heathrow Airport sought to find ‘the top 10 iconic departures that resulted in sporting history’.
The winner, should you happen to be interested, was Sir Ranulph Fiennes flying to conquer Everest and cross both polar ice caps in 2009. The runner-up was Andy Murray flying to America to win the 2012 US Open.
Leaving aside the preposterously tenuous nature of the concept – the plane trip that preceded the historic achievements – one thing in particular stands out: the word ‘iconic’ itself.
MADELEINE McCann: Anorak’s look at the missing child in the news media…
She’s front-page news:
The Sun leads with a prosaic picture of woman holding two spades. Hovering over the photo of the missing child, the inference is clear. The police are not looking for a living person.
As the Mail reports:
‘They understandably have to remain positive and assume Madeleine is alive, but the dig raises the possibility of finding evidence that she is not’, a source close to the couple said.
THE phrase “Where’s my jetpack?” has become something of a collective outcry in recent years. Since the 1950s, we’ve been indoctrinated with visions of the future full of spaceships, time travel, instant food, laser guns, and best of all, dazzling sci-fi duds.
Instead, here we are in 2014 and things haven’t shaped up to that Utopian model at all. Sure, communication technologies have exceeded our expectations, but the “Jetsons” lifestyle still hasn’t arrived. Thanks to pop culture’s broken promises of delivering robot maids and whooshing Star Trek doors in a timely manner, we are all a little disappointed.
Here’s a list of sci-fi TV shows and movies and the dates they were supposed to take place. Some are reasonable… some way, way off the mark.
1. LAND OF THE GIANTS
Land of the Giants is set in 1983. This is one of the more blatant errors in calculation. Fancy tourist spaceships are still nowhere in sight, and we’re 31 years past the show’s setting.
The TV series UFO. was actually set in 1980. As you will recall, the SHADO facility was one of the grooviest places on earth. Everything was painted mod colors with babes in mini-skirts or unitards strolling the hallways… and there was Moonbase. Well, it’s 34 years past due, and still no purple haired Moonmaidens.
Anyone who watched Space:1999 knows the show should’ve been called Space:1976. Evidently, earth-toned velour track suits were in vogue on Moonbase Alpha.
4. LOGAN’S RUN
Logan’s Run is set in 2274. Even though it features teleportation devices, I guess it’s far enough away in time that I can go along with it.
5. BLADE RUNNER
Blade Runner is set in 2019. We officially have five years to go before we have to start worrying about those pesky replicants.
6. TOTAL RECALL
The year is 2084 in Total Recall. I was kind of hoping that virtual reality thing would come around a bit sooner. Although, the three-breasted mutant women and cars driven by Howdy Doody robots can wait.
7. FORBIDDEN PLANET
Forbidden Planet is set in the early 2200s. Can we reasonably expect interplanetary travel and Robbie the Robot in a couple hundred years? The “plastic educator”, a device capable of measuring and enhancing intellectual capacity, seems doable.
8. THE JETSONS
The original Jetsons was supposed to take place in 2062. If I could pick any science fiction universe to live in, it would be The Jetsons, without hesitation. Sure, you still had to work and deal with overbearing bosses (Mr. Spacely was a dick!), but it was more than compensated by the Utopian awesomeness of it all.
9. PLANET OF THE APES
The crew in Planet of the Apes left earth in 2006 in their spaceship traveling at near light speed. Spoiler alert: They crash landed on Earth in the year 3978.
10. ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK
The tag line for Escape from New York:
The year is 1997. The Big Apple is the world’s largest penitentiary. Breaking out is impossible. Breaking IN is INSANE.
The 1927 film Metropolis is set in 2026.
12. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY
2001: A Space Odyssey was right on the money for a lot of things, but it overshot its wad on artificial intelligence and suspended animation.
Alien is set in 2122. Again, filmmakers have a tendency to underestimate the time it will take to develop this suspended animation thing. It’s the only feasible way to have interstellar space travel, so I understand their motives.
14. BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY
The Buck Rogers TV series is set in 2491. This show was overflowing with sci-fi tropes: lasers, spaceships, groovy fashions, and wisecracking robots. Since it’s still 477 years away, I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt.
15. BACK TO THE FUTURE II
Back to the Future II is set in 2015. Only one more year until the hoverboard!
16. STAR TREK
The best method to avoid having your film or TV show woefully outdated may be to set it far beyond the present date like Dune, which is set thousands of years ahead. Or, opt for the Star Wars plan and have it set a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. But the best plan of all may have been Star Trek which used “Star Dates”, which kept the timeline purposefully ambiguous.
Sadly, that was all ruined by Star Trek: The Next Generation which was set in 2364, which allows us to extrapolate that the original series was about 100 years prior. This really blows the mystique and pisses me off…. what say you, Dr. Bones?
THE Daily Mail has a “shocking” story on experiments conducted on kittens and British Universities, The top comment from readers asks:
Where has our moral compass gone?
The story runs:
“Kittens’ skulls cracked open and electrodes inserted into their brains in shocking series of experiments at 9 UK universities including Cambridge
Kittens have been paralysed, had their skulls broken and had electrodes stuck onto their brains, ribs and spine as part of a series of shocking experiments at 10 of the country’s most prestigious universities.
The cruel procedures on the helpless subjects have been performed so scientists can improve their understanding of the human body.