Anorak

News | Anorak - Part 673

News Category

We don’t just report off-beat news, breaking news and digest the best and worst of the news media analysis and commentary. We give an original take on what happened and why. We add lols, satire, news photos and original content.

American In London

‘ONE of that select band of men who can call themselves Julia Roberts’ ex-boyfriend is over in London at the moment.

”Could that bus be any closer?”

And given most Yanks’ notion of us Brits, he must be amazed not

Posted: 22nd, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Darling Bud Of Mey

‘LIKE an empty bottle of gin, the country seems a hollow place without its spiritual mother.

Gone to the big gin palace in the sky

Ever since the Queen Mother passed away in her sleep at the age of 198,

Posted: 21st, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Ed Rest

‘ON account of the impending birth of the poor creature who will have to call Prince Edward ”daddy”, Sophie Wessex has not accompanied said husband on a tour of the Caribbean.

No Wessexes please, we’re British

Sadly, Edward’s dresser appears

Posted: 21st, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Dressing-Up Boxes

‘WHEN it comes to being loved and worshiped even Eddie Wessex can doff his absurd oversized Panama hat in the direction of the soap actors’ guild.

Frock horror!

All the stars of the smallest screen came out to play for

Posted: 21st, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Straight Talking

‘IT seems that Dale and Nell are intent on having a very traditional relationship no sex before marriage…and probably no sex after it.

Nell’s in for a big surprise

According to Cilla Black, Nell phoned her the night before

Posted: 19th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Tears For Careers

‘NELL McAndrew was known only for taking her clothes off until her appearance on last year’s I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here!

”I’m looking for a role that requires lots of crying”

Since then, she hasn’t looked back and

Posted: 19th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Marriage By Numbers

‘ONE can only assume camp TV presenter Dale Winton’s marriage to glamour model Nell McAndrew is some kind of grotesque made-for-TV stunt.

”Not bad for a transvestite,” says Dale

Or possibly a comment on the shallowness of our celebrity-obsessed age.

Posted: 19th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Fat Friends

”’I GIVE this ring as a sign of our love, that now I make the choice to share this life with you. Let my arms be your haven, let my heart be your home.”

”Doesn’t she look lovely…?”

And with

Posted: 16th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


M Marks The Spot

‘WHAT’S great about being Mark Wahlberg is that when everyone else forgets who you are, you can just roll up your sleeve, consult your arm and know that you are ”MW Wahlberg”.

But what does it mean?

That’s what it

Posted: 16th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Stress Busters

‘IT might sound incredible, but it makes it no less true Hollywood stars do get stressed out, just like the rest of us. And the Enquirer has looked into ways they battle feelings of angst and worry.

”I didn’t

Posted: 16th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


An Everyday Tale

‘IN days of yore, Lady Helen Windsor was a darling of the tabloids with a tabloid nickname to match Lady Helen ”Melons” Windsor.

Lady H had a feeling she was being stalked by Superman

These days, however, the only

Posted: 15th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Here’s Looking At You, Kidd

‘YOU have to hand it to the toffs they can breed.

Auntie Jodie had ruined the dining room table

Norway’s Princess Martha Louise and husband Ari Behn show off their first born, Maud Angelica in this week’s edition of

Posted: 15th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


A Swede And A Leak

‘HOW did the news that celebrity shagger Ulrika Jonsson and Lance Gerrard-Wright were engaged leak out?

Lancelot and Lanced-a-lot

Well, the news broke on a visit to her future in-laws’ house in Folkingham, Lincolnshire and the culprit appears to

Posted: 15th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Cover Girl

‘WHILE Neighbours brings us Natalie Imbruglia, Jason Donovan and, or course, Stefan Dennis, Brookside has also provided TV light entertainment with some faces.

Not-her-own material girl

Anna Friel has worn some decent outfits and had her picture taken, oh, dozens

Posted: 13th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


If The Cake Fits…

‘LAST time we saw Tania Bryer she was up to her neck in the world’s tallest fairycake.

Tania shows off the style that made her Reader’s Wife Of The Year

It was the birthday of either Francesca or Melissa, her

Posted: 13th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The White Stuff

‘RUNNING OK! magazine presents some real challenges. After all, do you put the story of Atomic Kitten going to the funfair ahead or behind the tale of how Victoria Beckham wore a dress?

Martine, Martine, give us a wave

Thankfully,

Posted: 13th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Mumba One

‘FAME is a cruel mistress. How was Samantha Mumba to know that after meeting and talking about marriage and kids with boyfriend Mark Henderson (known later in the piece as Mark O’Connor) she would make it big?

‘Anyone remember my

Posted: 9th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


And Baby Makes Two

‘CELEBRITY decoding No.43: ‘My baby always comes first.’

Like father, like daughter-in-law

This has one of three meanings. It either means ‘My career’s on the skids and I’m stuck at home with nothing better to do’ or ‘I can’t get

Posted: 9th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Lancaster Bombs

‘WHEN Penny Lancaster gave up modelling, she became Rod Stewart’s girlfriend. And a photographer.

Penny and her assistant

As the former, she has done an excellent job. Mind you, as the only qualifications are being blonde and leggy and as

Posted: 9th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Bit Of An I Do

”WHEN you’re young, gorgeous, successful and in love, what better way is there to seal your devotion to one another than to organise a glamorous, star-studded wedding?’

The soon to be former Mrs Murphy

A fair question from OK!

Posted: 9th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


A Dog’s Life

‘BY our reckoning, Jennifer Lopez has at least two wedding dresses hanging up in one of her many walk-in wardrobes.

She’ll be all white on the night

But that’s not enough for the big-bottomed diva, who has apparently splashed out

Posted: 9th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Flood Warning

‘WE’LL all be talking about Jennifer Lopez’s wedding dress for a long time to come, says someone has seen it which means we’ll probably still be discussing it at her fourth wedding.

Staci denies copying Britney

We’ll probably also

Posted: 9th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Elvis Lives

‘THERE is sensation aplenty in Hello!ville as it is reported on the magazine’s front page that Elvis is alive.

‘Daddy’s shadow is awful big…’

To give full throat to the magazine’s headline story, the joyous news reads: ‘Lisa Marie Presley

Posted: 9th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


So Solod Crew

‘XENIA Gorbachev has much to thank her dear old grandfather Mikhail for.

‘And then this pigeon…’

If it weren’t for him, her wedding to Kirill Solod would have been a date with pickled herring (both kinds), vodka that guarantees to

Posted: 9th, May 2003 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Livin’ Doll

‘HE’S got himself a cryin’, talkin’, sleepin’, walkin’, livin’ doll. He’s gotta do his best to please her, just cos she’s a livin’ doll.

”I’ll never lay my hands on another woman again”

He’s got a rovin’ eye and that

Posted: 23rd, September 2002 | In: News | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0