PM Petitions: We The Undersigned Want Gordon Brown To…

Anorak’s look at those Prime Minister’s petitions.

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Bring back the ancient English tradition of the stocks in order to punish repeat petty criminals and give some kind of satisfaction to the people they have offended. The stocks would of course have to be policed so that no hard items are thrown and people would have to pay a small charge for items thrown which would go to a charity for the victims of crime. A good day out will be had by all - Submitted by Steven Link

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to ban all forms of transport with the exception of motorbikes - Submitted by keith Nichol

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to ban the sale and use of bicycles. If bicycles were invented now, no sane government would allow them to be used. Unprotected bodies, travelling at speed on a 2-wheeled vehicle which can be upset by a wet manhole - any official would reject this idea out of hand. The only reason we allow bicycles is that they have been around for more than a century and we have all got used to them - Submitted by Richard Olliffe

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Grant Alan Turing a postumous pardon for his homosexual conviction in the 1950’s. Alan Turing, the acclaimed mathematician, creator of Colossus and the Enigma code breaking efforts that gave this country the code breaking capabilities that helped Britain, and our allies, win the 2nd World War, and created/assisted in the precursor to the technology behind the modern GCHQ after the war, a postumous pardon for being criminalised for his homosexuality. Albeit ‘illegal’ at the time. Importantly, a public government apology for committing him to compulsory injections of oestrogen (&/or other female hormones) that affected his physical appearance and mental ability that caused him to commit suicide in 1954.This action was reminiscent of the Nazi regime that we had just defeated, in large part assisted by him and his codebreakers! - Submitted by Howard Timmis

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Grant Pangbourne Independence from the UK. This petition is on behalf of the people of the Village of Pangbourne to tell the government to grant our request for Independence from the UK and allow us to adopt the new name of “The Peoples Republic of Pangbourne” PROP for short – Submitted by Danny Maher

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Change drug laws so that repeat offenders such as the “famed” Pete Docherty & others in his position can no longer evade justice and put others at risk - Submitted by Jo Brooke

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to make the meat from cattle slaughtered because of the foot and mouth outbreak available for domestic human consumption. Meat from cattle infected with foot and mouth disease offers no known health risk to humans. While this produce may be considered unfit for export, wrongly, in my opinion, it should not be allowed to go to waste. There are plenty of people who cannot afford the luxury of quality British beef and would welcome the opportunity to sit down to a free Sunday roast. Why not? - Submitted by Ray Cattini

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to Make it a legal obligation for primary and secondary schools to have a special constable present during school hours - Submitted by Mr.Graeme.G.M.Gillon of The Gillon Household

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to ban the rspca - Submitted by o loveridge

Anorak’s Petition Of The Week:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to ensure all sand bags employed in flood control use Fair Trade sands only taken from a sustainable source, like the Gobi Desert or Sandbanks.

Pic: Hack

Anorak

Posted: 10th, August 2007 | In: PM's Pets Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink