Sex In Cars

“I HAVE SEX WITH CARS.”

And this from the Sun, the paper that brought you “I FANCY PAVEMENTS”.

Sex sells cars. “She moves like a dream,” says the middle-ranking manager to his male friend. “She’s a real goer,” says another.

“If I see a gorgeous Mercedes I know I’d love to jump into bed with it,” says Chris Donald, 38.

Chris is pictured looking at some good-looking models.

But Chris is no car dogger. For him there is more to making love to a car than jumping in and revving up her motor. Chris’s place is a heated and carpeted garage. There is a king-size double garage.

“It’s all about imagination and creativity,” explains Chris. “There’s more to car love than exhaust pipes. Stroking the body panels and delicate touching makes excellent foreplay.”

And as Chris goes “humper to bumper” in his garage of love, we read on and realise Chris is just an ordinary bloke at heart. Says he: “I did have the exhausts custom made for one car because they were too small, I had them widened and rounded.”

See Chris eying up those massive, over-sized exhaust pipes. Feel the sneers and hear the jibes as a fellow enthusiast arrives for a session in his 1.1litre Nissan Micra. Experience the raw power of Chris’s new black 2.5litre jaguar X-type with a cream leather upholstery.

And Chris is not alone. In his garage they come to make videos. He has met more than 20 people who have driven their car over for “a service”.

“Some people even like to taste mechanical fluids,” says Chris, “but that’s going too far.”

Chris is no weirdo. He is a man who dares to love. And as Chris recalls the name of his first conquest, a blue Peugeot 205 called Laura, and remembers Lydia, the BMW 735i he had tuned and lowered, we hear from a Dr Keith Ashcroft.

Dr Ashcroft specialises in human sexual behaviour. “Within the broad range of sexual activity it is at the extreme edge,” says he, “but it is not something for which he requires treatment.”

Just a can of WD40 and away he goes…

Anorak

Posted: 9th, March 2007 | In: Tabloids Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink