
Navy Knickers To Faye Turney’s Crictics Says Iraq Hostage John Nichol
LIKE President Ahmadinejad, the Mirror wants it both ways. It is both affronted and complicit in a spin.
Having paid money to Iranian hostage Arthur Batchelor for his story, it now tells readers of “BROWNE BACKLASH OVER IRAN 15”.
Indeed, so brazen is the Mirror that it pitches this headline beneath Batchelor’s latest chapter.
The news is that Defence Secretary Des Browne should “carry the can” for allowing some of the Iran captives to sell their stories to the press.
Former Defence Minister Peter Kilfoyle says the decision has made the British forces a “laughing stock”. Shadow defence secretary Liam Fox says: “Serving members of the armed forces have, in effect, been put up for auction in the most horribly undignified fashion.”
On this matter, the Mirror hears Batchelor say: “I don’t see what I did is any different from retired admirals writing books on their experiences, or being paid to appear on TV and give comments to newspapers.”
He doesn’t? Readers may pick up a whiff of class warfare. As David Aaronovitch wrote in the Times: “Squaddies – like bimbos – ‘sell their stories’, while generals, rock stars and ambassadors bestow upon us, for our edification and instruction, their memoirs.”
Difference is that Batchelor remains in the employ of the Navy and his part-time job as a professional hostage looks a bit tatty. And what influence has his employer brought to bear on what he can and cannot say? He who pays the piper calls the tune, and all that.
Heroes And Villains
Better, perhaps, to do as the Sun does and ignore the controversy entirely. There is no mention made of Des Brown in the entire paper. But there is a picture of Faye Turney standing alongside John Nichol.
Readers may remember Nichol as the RAF navigator shot down and paraded on TV during the first Gulf War.
Once more the Sun tells readers how blonde Faye Faye was “stripped to her knickers”. And again, these readers are deprived of a shot of said garment, or of Faye re-enacting the full horror of this key moment in the narrative.
Nichol has never spoken of his underwear. He was kept locked up for six weeks. The state of his underpants challenges the depthS of our imagination. And, unlike this recent episode, Britain was at war with Iraq. And Nicole was tortured.
We learn that Nichol was Turney’s “childhood hero”.
Says Nichol: “I wanted to say to her in person that she’s done her country proud – and to ignore her critics who do not have a clue what has happened to her.”
Only we do have clue. We have Turney’s testimony.
Posted: 11th, April 2007 | In: Tabloids Comments (28) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink
Comments





April 30th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
[...] thunders the Sun’s front-page headline. And we learn that Faye Turney, she of the tears and the dirty knickers, is heading beck to the scene of her fame. “Gutsy” Faye is returning to her ship off Iraq just [...]
April 13th, 2007 at 5:24 pm
[...] 13th Apr 07 FOR those Sun readers tired of pictures of topless stunnas and tales of Faye Turney’s knickers, a lovely story of how a “monster crocodile” bit off a vet’s arm. “ARM STARVING” says the [...]
April 11th, 2007 at 7:50 pm
I can use Kate over at the Admirality….I need a new secretary…and as long as kate does not mind sitting on my knee & bouncing up & down like a ship on a stormy sea…she can work for me at the MOD.
Come & Sea Me at the Ministry
Admiral HornBlower
April 11th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
Some may say that Major Major is a sexist sinner. To show we believe in equality we have enlisted Pete Doherty in the Navy. We are shooting him to Afghanistan to bomb out there.
Hey Pete… roll us all a few more Persian Poppy Seed Cigars before you go.
The Major thinks you are a hero…..your heroine havannas have helped save the nation..& his sanity…now go shoot up the terrorists …for king,
country..and Katie.
You can be heroes…….
April 11th, 2007 at 7:21 pm
…now the morphines kickin in ….to waste it would be a sin……
CodPeace & Light
Doctor DoLittle
April 11th, 2007 at 7:20 pm
lay off kate..she is my heroine…..
April 11th, 2007 at 5:36 pm
Please make sure you order more Orgasmically Oily
O-ME-GUSH 3
Before the start of World War 3
Sea you in Soho
Suzi Sushi….The Fishy Dishy Doctors Secretary
April 11th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
…now how do you want your glass of warm milk Major?…one lump ….or two?
April 11th, 2007 at 5:25 pm
hey Major Major…i think you is being too hard on Bernie……let her be..a bomber too
4……Bernie….B.B. Bra Buster
please remember Major Major…
Every Mother is a Hero
April 11th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
we at the Ministry are in debted to you brave bouys for giving us this new strategy.
We have come up with some names for the W.O.M.B.
1..Faye Turney…….Massive Mammaries of Mass Destruction
2…Beth Ditto….Ground Breaking-Earth Sheihking Lazer Guided Lesbian
3..Jade Goody….B.B. the Bermondsey Bomber
4 Kate Moss….fucking useless…tits too tiny
Are these good for you?….dont answer please Bernie…we need to defend our country….you are too soft….like a nanny.
TiT Ta For Now….TTFN
Major Major
April 11th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
dear sweet sensitive bernie..we have a use for you too at the MOD…
stay at home and breast feed the babies.
All the Very Breast
Major Major
April 11th, 2007 at 5:02 pm
here at the ministry we have been taking the bouys suggestions very seriously.
You sea bernie when you are trying to defend yourself against a country the size of Persia….size counts. These super sized sisters could be well employed by the navy defending their country.
These mothers can be used to beat the bastards with their bra busting breasts.
The terrorist nations have their Weapons of Mass Destruction…W.O.M.D
Thanks to the two heroes…Billy & Mo….we now have our very own..
Weapons Of Massive Breasts…..W.O.M.B. to defend our honour.
We have at last found a use for all the women in the armed services.
Well done bouys…bloody good show…break out the O-Me-GOSH 3 Brandy & Persian Poppy Cigars……..f*cking fantastic thinking,…i will sea you bouys get the V.C…….you are heroes.
April 11th, 2007 at 4:31 pm
hey bernie….are you…a big bird?….come & see me in sunny salford by the sea…..i have some bird seed for you
April 11th, 2007 at 4:29 pm
i think we got ourselves another bra buster for Iran bouys….
any more volunteers?
April 11th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
nice to sea you bouys have been taking your O-Me-Gosh 3 Fish Therapy seriously.
CodPeace & Light
The Doctor
April 11th, 2007 at 4:21 pm
Fair enough to take the ‘mickey’ out of the Turney affair along the lines of …silly government/silly navy/silly story/loadsa money… is fair enough, it was a shambles and a joke, but to go on and on and on and on and on about her size is a bit mean.
April 11th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
I say
“OH FUCK”
April 11th, 2007 at 2:21 pm
I say to the terrorists….
“DUCK”
April 11th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
my Son of Sam is a nautical little buoy….he says to Teheran
TITS AHOY!
April 11th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
as we say in salford by the sea….
shit faced & bristols fashion
April 11th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
see the navy keepin it all ship shape & bristol fashion
April 11th, 2007 at 1:56 pm
sheikh,rattle & dole
April 11th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
I hear Jaded Goody is’nt working….maybe she should join the navy and see the world…Jade could join her sisters faye & beth as cannon fodder….hey iran you is shaking now?
April 11th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
hey mo…there are a few birds in salford who i would shoot at the Iranians……we breed the birds big in salford….must be the seed i feed them…..Hey Faye ain’t fat…she is healthy…..what a mother….
Them skinny persian princesses better fatten up….our girls will flatten them in a fight…aint that right faye? hey faye …why are you running away?
Seed you in Salford
Billy
April 11th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
faye is going to turn teheran….into a pancake…as flat as kate moss’s tits…and wait till you get a load of her new mate….Beth Ditto…..
lethal weapons of massive mammary mass destruction….or what?
April 11th, 2007 at 11:54 am
hey mad mullahs….watch out….we are firing faye right back at you….when this blonde bombshell hits …….you is mincemeat.
dont f*ck with faye
April 11th, 2007 at 11:48 am
the navy has got a new weapon….made out of faye’s bra…they have made a catapult that can hit teheran from the distance of a press office in london……only problem is…they cant find anything to fire that is big enough for the bra…..except faye turney that is….
April 11th, 2007 at 11:44 am
i see faye has reached the high seas of celebrity status…look at her celebrating her freedom with kate moss & the ditto chick