Fat And Faulty - New Obese Gene And TV’s Fat Tribe
“THERE IS AN OBESITY GENE.” So says the Mail’s lead headline. Or as the Times’ front page puts it: “’Fat’ gene found by scientists.”
So much for tales of fat kids getting fat by gorging on fizzy drink, chocolate and murder burgers. It’s not your fault you’re the size of a small family hatchback. It’s all down to bad genes, or fat genes if judgements are to be made.
A team of geneticists from Oxford University and the Peninsular Medial School, Exeter, have found the gene in as many as one in six Britons.
Fat people can be saved. And they can be prevented from ever being. As the Mail says: “One day, couple’s could even choose to have babies free of ‘fat’ genes.”
Who would have dared believe fat children could be so easily eradicated? Anorak has long advocated a cull, a race in which the fat are encouraged to run for their lives. For some time the papers have been scouring the land for fat children. Lanes on running tracks were being widened. Chocolate eggs placed on spoons.
And it would be entertaining. In “Fat’s entertainment”, the Sun looks at the new BBC reality TV show in which porkers are invited to hunt for food. In Fat Teens Can’t hunt (working title: Fat Hunts), teens will be sent to live with aboriginal tribesmen for ten months.
If they want to eat, they must feast on grasses, fruits and plants. They will need to kill and cook any animals. Win and be thin! Stay fat and be despatched to live with another tribe, namely the headhunters in Borneo.
Oh Brave New World…
April 13th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
The Daily Wail has a fair few fatties who feed us shite with what they write……I hate naming names so i will leave it to you who…but may i start the ball rolling with….
Leo Mc Kuntry
Fat Matt Lawton
Dumpy Des Kelly
Ample Amanda Patell
Paunchy Jeff Powell
keep on rollin’
Blue
April 13th, 2007 at 1:20 pm
there is only one fit feMail working for the Daily Wail.
Melanie Phillips has a great shape and I love making passes at girls with glasses.
Melanie….oh sweet,sensitive,svelt……melanie
Good Shabbos
Blue
April 13th, 2007 at 1:24 pm
dear melanie, I have a friend…he is a painter …he lives in the dessert…he would love to paint you blue too……please let me know…we can put the finished painting on show…in a gallery….would you do this for me?……..let me know
April 13th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
what i meant to ask youis really……”would you let me do this for you?”.
Melanie….you can be assured of my semitic sensitivity.
I ask you…not because i am blue…….but to show the true beauty of a blue feMail.
Answer me sweet melanie……the piss-poor painters await your reply.
B.J.
April 13th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
and if the twitchy tech guy on this site ever does his work right…then one day …in the not to distant future….the contributors who have rights might be even able to post a jpeg of the painting up on the Forum….or is this too cryptic ….hey Nick?
April 13th, 2007 at 5:06 pm
wow have you seen The Daily Whales latest readers offer?
A course of Carol Caplins Cod Liver Oil Dietary Supplement.
Guaranteed to make you shit yourself thin….and to keep Carol & her Whaling Mail Mates fat…with your money.
What an offer…can you fatties resist….for only £19.99 a try……the price of 10 big macs….got to be worth a try…..you can trust the Daily Whale to feed you shit to make you sick thin