Big Brother Jodie Marsh’s Barnyard
BIG Brother evictee Jodie Marsh is telling sport readers:” Why I need sex FIVE times a day.”
At once we begin guessing why. Is it because:
A) It says ‘stir’ on the bottle of wood varnish Jodie dips herself in each morning and it’s easier finding a man than a stick?
B) Five times complies with tabloid law – ‘It should never be less and never be more’ (Halpern’s Law Section 32-26-32DD)?
C) She has nothing else to do?
The answer soon becomes apparent as Jodie tells us: “I crave lots and get frustrated when I don’t get it.”
Jodie might well be having sex as she talks with the Sport about her show Totally Jodie Marsh: Who Will Take Her Up The Aisle? in which dipsticks, sorry, men, audition to be her husband.
But before that, Jodie does as her fellow Big Brother evictee Orlaith McAllister did a few weeks back and tells us about her sexual pecadlios.
In no particular order, Jodie tell us about her “five-some in a barn”, “quite a few threesomes”, how she would like to have sex with Eminem and her dates with Calum Best.
“I’m so horny all the time,” says Jodie. “So pretty much everything turns me on.
Sometime I only have to look at myself in naked in the mirror, or I’ll be walking around in my knickers, and I’ll feel hot.”
A hot flush? Jodie’s pores blocked by that wood stain? Nothing of it. Jodie is in the full tangerine-glow of womanhood.
And when she’s not naked, she’s dressing up. She has a wardrobe full of outfits. “There is everything from a police woman to a pilot to a cow girl to a ballerina. You name it. I’ve got it.”
Chances are that if guaranteed Jodie some exposure, we could vote on which outfit we’d like Jodie to dress up as; something like a pantomime donkey, a crab or an outpatient at the school of tropical diseases.
And Jodie needs help. It is not uncommon for Jodie to leave the house dressed with a pair of crossed belts pulled over her naked chest, an orangey Emiliano Zapata bigger guns.
If jodies sonds like your idea woman, you can try out at being her ideal man. And answer the tie-breaker: “Complete this sentence: I want my relationship with my future wife to be…”
Extra marks awarded for using any of all of the words: hideous, orange, stained, deranged, dog hair, barnyard and Bin Laden…
June 14th, 2007 at 1:04 pm
What a truly horrible horrible woman. She is another classic example of someone who is famous for being famous and doing nothing to earn it!
I read somewhere that not many turned up to the auditions of her show…not surprised!
Eurgh!
June 14th, 2007 at 1:57 pm
I think Jodie is OK. Always good to look at her picture when you wake up in the morning after a heavy night drinking and you need to puke - helps it up and out on its way……..
June 14th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
I sw a daytime TV show on her - she lives with tribe of pygmy dogs who piss all over her house.
June 14th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Jodie is my angel delight and we will soon be wed by daft, sorry I mean deft, MTV. She treats me like a prince and shows her appreciation for my manly bulges. She has a lot of jellus old hags who continually try to put her down, but in the cutesy little way that she has, she says they are fat, greasy and old and in need of a good shag. She can charm the birds out of a tree, it is how she hooked me. Did you know that I was an ex of Jordan (the model, not the FPS). We will be the most powerful couple to come out of Brentwood.
June 14th, 2007 at 6:17 pm
Why is everyone vile jellus bullies of my girl. So what is she is trying to con MTV & the “public” when I see her in those sexy belts I can forgive her anything & so should you. Jordan I mean Jodie loves everyone and in no way is a vile jellus bully. Look out for me on the show. And dont forget to act surprised.
June 14th, 2007 at 7:29 pm
Now now Mushers! Let’s not turn this page into the carnage that was Taking Jodie Marsh Up The Arse, sorry Aisle, Anorak page! She’ll get offended and feel the need to post and get everyone guessing about whether it really is her or not!
We’re going out on the pull tonight. Jodie will be wearing two compact discs across each breast and a skirt made out of half deflated multi-coloured balloons, giving her a sexy comedy exotic look! I will be wearing my pink poncho which is my equivelent of Jodie’s outfit. I’ll still look hotter than Schoolteach Lauren anyway in whatever fruit she decides to dress as!
June 14th, 2007 at 11:21 pm
Jo! I can’t believe you’d say such a thing about Jodie! She’s your client! Show some f**king respect and stop acting like those haters who post nasty comments on MY YouTube vids!
Jordan baby, I had SO mush fun friday night! I wish I could see you (and Jodie) other days as well but like you said, that’s the only time you are free! Don’t fret though my darlin’, I will ALWAYS be there with my YouTube camera whenever you perform, you rock God you! Oh God I’m horny!
Have to go now, ‘ower Leanne has got herself into a bit of strife over some hooking malarchy. And I want to have a pint in the Rovers! Ta ra loves!
June 15th, 2007 at 12:15 am
(Shrill non-stop tone) Jodie Marsh? You know what? Don’t get me started on her! I won’t stop! Urgh! She’s horrible! So much so to the fact that if I ever met her I really would bully her! Who does she think she is yeah! I couldn’t stand to be around her! I hate people like her! No manners! Rude! Confrontational! Aggressive! Always playing the victim! Thinks she’s better than everyone else! Urgh! Just pure vile! Not like me at all!
June 17th, 2007 at 4:27 pm
[...] Jodie and any one of a number of itchy diseases… Update: Is that orange colour the result of penicillin?Share This Opinions? : 109 | In: Big Brother | By: Anorak | Most Popular Stories | Talk: Forums [...]
June 28th, 2007 at 2:25 pm
OMG!! I just sat outside jodies house for 29 hours and 3 mins and 1.5 seconds and u know what! … i just saw Jodie pull up in her car…. i was so embarased thoe so i put on a halloween mask… but she still recognised me !!
boooo boooo !! :(!
October 4th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
[...] Big Brother Jodie Marsh’s Barnyard ” Anorak News BIG Brother evictee Jodie Marsh is telling sport readers:” Why I need sex FIVE times a day. … Taking Big Brother’s Jodie Marsh Up The Aisle ” Big Brother … [...]
October 8th, 2007 at 11:32 pm
[...] Big Brother Jodie Marsh s Barnyard Anorak NewsBIG Brother evictee Jodie Marsh is telling sport readers: Why I need sex FIVE times a day. At once we begin guessing why. Is it because: A) It says stir on the bottle [...]
October 21st, 2007 at 4:20 pm
[...] Big Brother Jodie Marsh’s Barnyard | Anorak News BIG Brother evictee Jodie Marsh is telling sport readers:” Why I need sex FIVE times a day. … Taking Big Brother’s Jodie Marsh Up The Aisle ” Big Brother … [...]
October 25th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
[...] Big Brother Jodie Marsh’s Barnyard | Anorak News BIG Brother evictee Jodie Marsh is telling sport readers:” Why I need sex FIVE times a day. … Taking Big Brother’s Jodie Marsh Up The Aisle ” Big Brother … Filed under Lesbian, Sex, Celebrity Sex Video, Porn, Schoolgirls, Keeley Hazell, Stockings, Strippers, Celebrity, Jodie Marsh Videos, Linsey Dawn McKenzie, Abi Titmuss, Jodie Marsh, Kelly Brook, Lucy Pinder, Jodie Marsh Photos, Jodie Marsh Photographs, Michelle Marsh, Blogroll [...]
October 27th, 2007 at 1:46 am
[...] Big Brother Jodie Marsh’s Barnyard | Anorak News BIG Brother evictee Jodie Marsh is telling sport readers:” Why I need sex FIVE times a day. … Taking Big Brother’s Jodie Marsh Up The Aisle ” Big Brother … [...]
October 29th, 2007 at 1:45 am
[...] Big Brother Jodie Marsh’s Barnyard | Anorak News BIG Brother evictee Jodie Marsh is telling sport readers:” Why I need sex FIVE times a day. … Taking Big Brother’s Jodie Marsh Up The Aisle ” Big Brother … Filed under Lesbian, Sex, Celebrity Sex Video, Porn, Schoolgirls, Keeley Hazell, Stockings, Strippers, Celebrity, Jodie Marsh Videos, Linsey Dawn McKenzie, Abi Titmuss, Jodie Marsh, Kelly Brook, Lucy Pinder, Jodie Marsh Photos, Jodie Marsh Photographs, Michelle Marsh, Blogroll [...]
November 2nd, 2007 at 2:09 am
[...] Big Brother Jodie Marsh’s Barnyard | Anorak News BIG Brother evictee Jodie Marsh is telling sport readers:” Why I need sex FIVE times a day. … Taking Big Brother’s Jodie Marsh Up The Aisle ” Big Brother … [...]