Big Brother’s Jade Goody Goes To Jail - Like Paris Hilton
JADE Goody is facing jail.
So says The People: “EXCLUSIVE - No licence, no insurance, no L plates, yet SHE drives an Audi Mystery of ONE car with TWO reg nos Land Rover tax disc is for a JAGUAR.”
Readers may well read that and think Jade is writing her own headlines. But the garbled mix of mangled English and shouty counting leads to a story of “outrageous motoring offence”.
No, Jade has not turned her 4×4 into a kebab van, converted it to run on curry sauce or been caught shagging in the ashtray.
As the People says, Jade has driven her new Audi “WITHOUT” insurance or a full licence; “THE NUMBER plate on her Range Rover mysteriously CHANGES”; Jade’s teenaged lover Jack Tweedy drove Jade’s Audi last week – “less than three months after he was BANNED for a year for drink-driving”; and “THE TAX disc on the Range Rover was for a DIFFERENT car and was OUT OF DATE”.
And this on top of Jade being arrested last month for allegedly driving her BMW X5 without insurance or a full licence. On Wednesday Goody fans can catch her appearance at a court in Milton Keynes, Bucks.
A police source tells the paper: “If someone is found guilty of offences such as these they may face a prison sentence.”
So Goody is in trouble. The evidence seems compelling. And makes us wonder if she wanted to be caught? It’s not Jade Goody – it’s Britain’s Paris Hilton.
The similarities are uncanny:
Both have performed sex acts on our screens
Both are assisted blonde
Both star in reality TV shows
Both have produced an eponymous perfume - Paris Hilton: Just Me - sparkling top notes of porridge with the chilled fresh burst of Sicilian Bergamot and used adolescent tissue; Shh…by Jade Goody – top notes of raw chicken infused over a base note of Patchouli, Oxo Cube, urine and Indian slum.
Now if Paris can just put on a bit of weight and improve her English…
June 17th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
If jail is like Big Brother maybe some Indian lags in the kitchen will spice up their meals…
June 18th, 2007 at 12:12 am
[...] Big Brother 8 Anorak - JADE Goody is facing jail. So says The People: “EXCLUSIVE - No licence, no insurance, no L plates, yet SHE drives an Audi Mystery of ONE car with TWO reg nos Land Rover tax disc is for a JAGUAR.†Readers may well read that and think Jade [...]
June 19th, 2007 at 5:14 pm
[...] Jade Goody [...]
June 20th, 2007 at 6:58 pm
[...] after her ‘misunderstood’ rant at Shilpa Shetty. Not only does she get caught out for driving without insurance. But now the television personality and scourge of Britain’s snobs has been fleeced by none other [...]
July 5th, 2007 at 6:50 am
[...] months. Her lawyers say she should not be banned because she will get such a hostile reception on public transport. Her mute Lover Jack Tweedy was banned for a year in March for drink driving. Goody’s lawyer [...]
December 30th, 2007 at 1:55 am
JADE GOOD NOW USED AS A BAD EXAMPLE BY OTHER SECTS
A church called UCKG in London is now using Jade Goody for a vangelism purposes to lure people to their church.They are publishing and distributing material about her destroying her image to the public ,in circulation now is their CITY VISSION newspaper which carries an article that she is being punished by god because she is a bad person.The article states that she had miscarriage because god punished her for not being a good person.lt also states that her business is falling as compared to the Becks’ perfume because she is being punished.