LA Beckhams: Rebecca Loos On David Beckham And Meeting Victoria
REBORN in the USA, David Beckham is touched down in Los Angeles. He is telling the world that he has come to bring football to the masses, a soccer missionary to deliver the light of goalless draws, jumpers for goalposts and a new kits retailing at £49.99 to the non believers.
“Go Dave!” yell the British hacks massed in sunny LA. “We lurve, you Day-vid,” they chime as one. “We love you for getting us out of watching Wigan reserves take on Melton Mowbray FC in pre-season jog about. Hallelujah!”
And Dave smiles. He reads his autocue. He leads his three sons into the rosy-fingered dawn, the boys identically dressed in red-and-white striped tops, beige shorts and shaved heads. “Soccer it to ’em, Becks!” says the Mirror’s front-page headline.
He Loves his Wife
And there is Posh. David loves his wife. He loves his wife. He loves his wife.
He does not love Rebecca Loos, who tells the Star: “I saved the Beckhams’ marriage.”
So he should love her? He shoots. Rebecca saves. Everyone scores a magazine deal. It’s the perfect goal.
And here in the Star to explain all is Ms Loos, cupping her hands over her breasts and digging her thumbs lightly into her enhanced nipples.
“In a way they should be glad it happened,” says Loos, “it’s made them stronger. They even went on to have another kid. Everything happens for a reason, even bad things.”
And: “No one knows what goes on between two people. But if they are happy – and they seem to be – then it’s worth it.”
Rebecca is too modest. We can know what goes on between two people so long as one party records conversations in the form of a Bext message, stores it on her mobile phone and shows it to Sky news in a one-on-one interview spectacular.
What Next?
“There are plenty of gorgeous girls in LA,” says Loos, “I don’t know whether he’s going to be a good boy.”
And she is going to LA. She spends one week a year there. What if Loos should happen upon Dave? “I don’t know what I’d say if I bumped into the Beckhams,” says she. “But I’m sure Victoria would talk to me.”
After all, Loos and Posh are kindred spirits. She tells us that “he is the only one to blame. He knew what he was doing when he seduced me… It was all down to him.”
David Beckham scores and gets the assist(ant). Who says you can’t have it all. Not David Beckham. Go Dave! And don’t turn around lest you lock eyes with Rebecca’s naked chest…
July 13th, 2007 at 9:50 am
Slutty Loos and the Beckams are all PR tarts. Who actually gives a sh1t?
July 13th, 2007 at 11:39 am
well the pig seems quite happy….
July 13th, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Of course she’s happy Anonymous; her husband’s getting $1m per week!
July 13th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Loos might be a tart, but I would rather have her than that poting fucking slapper.
July 13th, 2007 at 1:13 pm
I just conducted an informal survey of the early arrivers at work here in the central time zone. I asked, ‘do you know what sports star arrived in LA yesterday?’ Only one was aware that Dave had landed, one thought there had been a trade of a major baseball player to an LA team (they have two) and the rest just assumed the old Englishman was being eccentric again. I’ve cultivated that, it lets me get away with all kinds of stuff.
I had an evil thought, when Chelsea play the Galaxy they should field a strong team, actually make an effort, and win by about 326 to 0.
That should shut up the general manager of the Galaxy, he thinks the premiership is an ‘inferior product’.
So then, Beckham apathy is alive and well in Wisconsin.
God bless America!
July 13th, 2007 at 1:22 pm
First the world, then Winconsin! Imagine the disappointment when he fails to score in every game and is outpaced by just about every one of his teammates…
July 13th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Beckam playing Conference level soccer, he’ll be knighted for his role as a tattooed illiterate role model for services to carbon footprint.
July 13th, 2007 at 2:46 pm
Rebecca has cracking lungs, but sticky Vicky goes lilke a train. Dave 1-1 Dave.
I think that’s how it works, y’know.
July 13th, 2007 at 6:26 pm
Another thing (slow at work today), Darling David has only a short time to entrance the natives. The second half of the baseball season has started and the Pennant races(divisional championships) will be heating up. Then it’s the playoffs and world series. Only a short time until American football starts back up, plus basketball, and, for the three people who care, ice hockey.
Soon, ESPN will actually have something approaching an real sport to put on and Becks will be lost in the shuffle as they say here.
As for me, I’ll be watching Premiership games on Fox Soccer Channel.
They have English announcers for the games but Americans to introduce the program. One guy likes to say Wig-han instead of Wigan and so on, though they are getting better.
Ah the american soccer league… wake me when it’s over!
July 14th, 2007 at 12:51 am
I think all og the comments above r total CRAP!!!! David Beckham is a truely great husband and father. No one has the right to judge him, I think people who have negative comments about him are jealous of his wealth and fame.
You people should really get a LIFE!
Beckham: Great Footballer and Idol!
July 15th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
[...] and a new kits retailing at $49.99 to the non believers. “Go Dave!” yelled the British hacks massed in sunny LA. “We lurve, you Day-vid,” they chimed as one. “We love you for getting us out of watching [...]
July 16th, 2007 at 1:49 pm
He’ll stray - because let’s face it, any sensible man would fuck a horse before they climbed on that pouting excuse for a human being.
I’d call her a dog, but that’s unfair to dogs - more like roadkill.
July 21st, 2007 at 11:20 pm
To Jim who seems to be quite miserable in his comment, go ahead and spill the beans Jim, tell us ‘what did the pouting human take from you’, but remember no need for cry over spilt milk, its already spilt. Cheer up Jim, start again whilst you are alive and have bit of health and stregth. I must confess I laughed while reading your comment but only at you.
July 21st, 2007 at 11:22 pm
zzzzzzznnn
I’d like to call a roll call