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Paul McCartney Pays To Silence Heather Mills

paulmc Paul McCartney Pays To Silence Heather Mills“McCARTNEY ‘will pay £70million to silence Heather.” (Pic: The Spine)

So says the Mail’s headline. And we marvel at how inflated the cost of a hit has become since Britain expelled four Russian diplomats.

On further reading, it turns out that Sir Paul McCartney is to pay Heather Mills the money to go away. It is to be a divorce settlement.

Mills gets a £15milion lump sum and £3.5million every year until their daughter Beatrice, 4, turns 18.

This will be the largest divorce settlement in UK history. But we will not hear much about it because one clause stipulates that Heather must not mention their marriage publicly.

Although if she did, the papers would revel in watching Sir Paul return to court and fight for a rebate on the funds used to keep his former wife and daughter in the style to which they have become accustomed…

12 Responses to “Paul McCartney Pays To Silence Heather Mills”

  1. 1 Moderation Says:

    It doesn’t really matter how much cash Heather Mills gets in her divorce settlement…. when they first split she said she didn’t need any more money so anything she got from Paul she would give to charity.
    She is so kind and caring…….. a true benefactor of our time

    And I’m a one eyed one armed flying purple people eater……..

  2. 2 Themis Says:

    The Heather Mills charity?

  3. 3 Moderation Says:

    V. Good! Of course………..

    I do like to be fair, and I do always try, I really really do, but 70 million for around 4 years of marriage? and she says with a deluded but straight face that she deserves it because she revitalised his dead career. Hmmmmmmmmmm

  4. 4 Mrsofty.com Says:

    Witch burning is illegal right?

  5. 5 Themis Says:

    She’s not a witch, and anyway they used to be hanged here, burned in Scotland and Europe

  6. 6 Jim Says:

    Give her the money you scouse cunt. Although, if she is responsible for revitalising his pisspoor career, perhaps we should hang her instead.

  7. 7 Moderation Says:

    Jim, you seem to have a problem with articulation. may I suggest literacy classes? You could maybe learn how to string a sentence together appropriately without having to use very silly words.

  8. 8 jim Says:

    I’ll go to literacy classes if you promise to attend one on punctuation - you patronising waste of air.

  9. 9 Chopper Says:

    I would have happily let Paul McCartney shag me for 3 years for £70 million, and I’m a straight bloke!

  10. 10 Moderation Says:

    Yes Chopper, me too!

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