The Floods: England On Shark Alert
TEWKESBURY is on shark alert.
“JAWS,” says the Sun. It’s the lead story, following on from the weekend’s “JAWS”.
“Second sighting of Great White circling off cost of Cornwall,” says the paper. The picture is from a video taken by Catherine Price, 48.
“You could see the fins just like Jaws as it swam through the water, it was absolutely huge,” she tells us and readers of Practical Fishkeeping, the UK’s bestselling aquarium magazine.
Readers look. It might be a shark. It might be Great White. It might be a Leviathan - weather chaos, climate change and global warming made flesh and tooth. It’s God’s vengeance on man. It might be an uprooted Gloucester apple tree, a shopping trolley or the Tirley mobile library.
And there is “panic”. “Everyone said it was a harmless basking shark so I just carried on filming,” says Mrs Price. Adding: “It sends shivers down my spine thinking about it now. It’s not what you expect to see off the Cornwall coast.”
But have no fear. The “world’s greatest shark hunter” is going to slay the beast. Zyg Gregorek, “who represents England in shark-catching contests”, says: “It’s only a matter of time before I catch this fish. It is man against beast - and I will win.”
Also on the look out for terror with teeth is Page 3 stunna Danni. Wearing a red bikini and sporting a proud pair of binoculars, Danni tells us: “It’s scary to think the shark could be amongst people paddling – luckily I’ve not seen any-fin suspicious.”
This might be because Danni is stood in a Marbella swimming pool. Or that this fish is not a shark.
And in any case, thanks to the floods and the rain, everyone in the UK has already got out of the water…
July 30th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
[...] Anorak - Wearing a red bikini and sporting a proud pair of binoculars, Danni tells us: It s scary to think the shark could be amongst people paddling luckily I ve not seen any-fin suspicious. This might be because Danni is More Binocular News [...]
July 30th, 2007 at 11:29 pm
My goldfish says its his cousin Finbar come to see him
July 31st, 2007 at 2:13 am
Great White hmmn… I saw a man eating super giant squidopuss of the coast of Cornball myself just yesterday I wonder if its the global warming at work. Is it possible that the sea life is reverting to the land? only time will tell.
August 1st, 2007 at 9:26 am
[...] “SHARK mania grips Britain,” says the Sun’s front-page headline. It’s right, of course. Sharks are big news. The BBC’s Celebrity Shark Watch premiers tonight – join Lenny Henry in an interactive webchat [...]
August 6th, 2007 at 8:39 am
[...] The suspicion is that these wily sharks are deliberately targeting we British. Raised on fables of flooded farms, drowned and plentiful livestock and children fatter than seal pups, the sharks are honing on [...]