Dr Pepper Tastes Like Axl Rose And Chinese Democracy
DR Pepper and Axel Rose are a match made in marketing heaven.
A drink that tastes like a brothel keepers’ innersole and the lead singer of Guns N’ Roses, whose name is an anagram for Oral Sex are united in a marketing workers reverie:
Says Dr Pepper: “It took a little patience for us to perfect Dr Pepper’s special mix of 23 ingredients, so we completely understand and empathize with Axl’s question for the perfect album. We know once it’s released, people will refer to it as “Dr Pepper for the ears” because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds - an instant classic.”
Dr Pepper for the ears may be preferable to Dr Pepper for the mouth. It’s the drink the Dr Pepper marketing division admits sounds better than it tastes.
The plan is that Dr Pepper will give a can of drink to “everyone in America” (excluding ex-Guns members Slash and Buckethead) if Chinese Democracy arrives anytime during the calendar year 2008.
Chinese Democracy is not actual democracy in China, something Axl Rose cannot achieve alone (he’s no Bono, after all), rather an album that has been a decade-in-the-making…
March 27th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Sod Dr Pepper … just give me Axel Rose !!!!!
March 28th, 2008 at 12:22 am
The last I saw of him, he had become a bit of a bloater. Yup, another sad bloater who hadn’t aged too well.
March 29th, 2008 at 8:25 pm
Dr. Pepper is Delicious it does not taste like a brothel keepers inner sole unless that innersole is somehow made of Dr. Pepper