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8th, April 2009Police Link Obama To 321 Crimes
PoliticiansBarack Obama and Gordon Brown walk into 10 Downing Street, where the US leader shakes the policeman’s hand, but Mr Brown declines the offer… More »
8th, April 2009Jacqui Smith Embraces Feminist Porn
PoliticiansSmith says she is being picked on not because she is a useless former pot-head who wants the taxpayer to pay for her home porn and bath plugs, but because she is woman… More »
8th, April 2009Harry Potter Actor Arrested For Drugs
CelebritiesHarry Potter actor Jamie Waylett, aka Hogwarts pupil Vincent Crabbe, has been arrested after police allegedly found cannabis worth £2,000 in his bedroom… More »
8th, April 2009Seeking Men On Octomum’s TV Dating Show
CelebritiesWanna data a mum of 14? Whoah! One at a time. Ok - forget it. There’s room for everyone in Octomum’s clown car gang bang… More »
8th, April 2009Madeleine McCann Is Not In Portugal
Madeleine McCannANGRY locals barracked Gerry McCann as he filmed a reconstruction in the resort where daughter Maddeleine vanished. One sacked worker raged at Gerry… More »
8th, April 2009Laughing German Raises Police Alarm
Strange But TrueLaughing German triggers emergency rescue… More »
8th, April 2009The Transparent Face Mask
MoneyTransparent Face Mask is the just-have item for all the family… More »
8th, April 2009Jade Goody To Appear In Big Brother 10
CelebritiesThe Star has news to thrill even the most jaded Goody watcher - Jade is to make a return to Big Brother… More »
8th, April 2009Jade Goody Eats Out
CelebritiesJackiey Budden told onlookers [the snappers]: “I’m just having lunch with Jade” as she spent an hour reading the Bible and eating crisps and Scotch eggs… More »
8th, April 2009Madeleine McCann Spotted In Italy
Key PostsThe competition is - as ever - Tabloid Bingo - the writer’s challenge to link Madeleine McCann with any major news event. Your caller toay is MIRIAM O’CALLAGHAN, of the Irish Times… More »
8th, April 2009Flutter Makes Twitter Irrelevant
MediaThe greatest self-communication tool ever! More »
7th, April 2009Colonel Gaddafi Fears Obama’s Death
Barack Obama Death CultUpdates thick and fast on the Barack Obama Death Cult as Colonel Gaddafi opens the Libyan chapter… More »
7th, April 2009Italian Woman Aged 98 Spends 30 Hours Knitting In Earthquake
MediaAMID the rubble and hurt in Italy, Maria D’Antuono, 98, is rescued. She says she passed the 30-hour waiting to be saved by knitting… More »
7th, April 2009National Science Foundation Investigates Porn Technology
MediaStaff at America’s National Science Foundation are being investigated for accessing porn on their computers… More »
7th, April 2009Adam Sandler and Christina Ricci’s Porno Uncut
CelebritiesAdam Sandler and Christina Ricci are making a cutesy porn film. There are thousands of porn films, and most can be summed up in three words: Fill A Hole… More »
7th, April 2009Shoe Tosser Strikes Again In Indian Parliament
PoliticiansTO India, where Home Minister P Chidambaram’s press conference in New Delhi is enlivened by a journalist throwing a shoe at the minister. Syrian Man In Turkey Tries To Kill Obama More »
7th, April 2009Six Days In Fallujah (Video Game)
TechnologySIX Days in Fallujah is the new shoot-‘em-up video game from Atomic Games. Under George Bush the aim would have been to shoot the enemy in the face. But now Obama is in charge, there is new directive… More »
7th, April 2009North Korea Fires ‘Norks’ Over Japan, Reports Mark Stein
PoliticiansMark Stein spots “norks” over Japan, huge enflamed norks emergeing from bunker in North Korea… More »
7th, April 2009Obama Gives Ferrari Money To Italy Earthquake Appeal
PoliticiansWe’re ponying up $50,000 for our long-time allies? The munificence of it all just begs for comment… More »
7th, April 2009Accrington and Bury players charged with betting on their own football game
SportsAnother football betting scandal shames the English game More »
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