Mothers’ Girl

‘ASKED which woman in the public eye they considered a good role model for other mothers, it’s a fair bet that in 1976 Marge Simpson wouldn’t have got much of a look-in.

Marge felt guilty about spending all her housekeeping

Swap Shop

‘THE BBC has its finger on the pulse – and what takes the New Economic Foundation years of careful research Auntie knows instinctively.

The new faces of Saturday night on the BBC

It knows that we were never happier than …

We Love 1976

‘INFLATION stands at 16.7%; the average weekly wage is just £71.80; and the country has been forced to go cap in hand to the International Monetary Fund after sterling plummets from $2 at the beginning of the year to $1.60 …

Slipping The Mickie

‘CASUALTY should run and run forever. How can the show ever run out of plots?

‘Who’s taking the Mickie, then?’

If it needs sensation, the writers can just cause a pile up on the M4 between a Boeing 747 and …

Moore The Merrier

‘ARSENAL fan John Moore stands to win £100,000 if his grandson Bobby Moore becomes captain of the England football team before he is 25.

The 75-year-old has put a £20 bet at odds of 5,000-1 on the four-month-old emulating the …

Horses For Courses

‘THE Sun marks the arrival of the annual Cheltenham racing festival with a special insert.

Thaksin Shinawatra adopts Liverpool’s familiar prayer position

All the riders and racing personalities are profiled. There’s Paddy ‘The Fixer’ O’Hallohan, Jimmy ‘Dead Cert’ Jameson and …

Statue Of Limitations

‘JONATHAN Cainer is right. Things are changing. A new regime is indeed on the way.

PC or ‘armless fun?

In times past, the spare plinth at one corner of Trafalgar Square would not have been a problem to fill. There …

For Crying Out Loud

‘STAYING with the sporting theme, Kate Winslet has given her man the equivalent of the football chairman’s vote of confidence in his manager.

‘Have you met my second husband?’

The Mail has seen a tape of an interview given by …

Sign Of The Times

”PERSONAL hopes that got sidelined by the daily grind of life get their chance now… Luck and fun are linked to a face in a picture… Luck wears the number 11 on a T-shirt.’

Mystic Meg or Evil Sedna?

And …

A Chorus Of Booze

‘HOME Secretary David Blunkett’s dream of turning Britain into a police state with all of us forced to carry ID cards at all times moves a step closer to reality this morning.

William Hague has No.14 lined up already

And …

A Question Of Degrees

‘ON present trends, every teenager in Britain should be in possession of at least 10 A-grade GCSEs by the end of the decade.

City Of Firsts

Of them, 98% will go on to get four A grades at A level, …

A New Bambi

‘SPAIN’S new Prime Minister Jose Luiz Rodriguez Zapatero and British PM Tony Blair have at least one thing in common – a nickname.

Blowing the coalition off track

For Senor Zapatero, the Telegraph informs us, is known as Bambi, a …

Let Her Eat Cake

‘WHEN Pierce Brosnan married Keely Shaye Smith on an enchanted evening at Ireland’s Ashford Castle, it seemed the fairytale would never end.

The mystery as to why guests did not get a slice of going-home cake was becoming obvious

An …

Ooooh, Nurse

‘IF for any reason Bryan and Kerry do not live up to their early promise, who will take their place?

Spot the celebrity

That’s easy – waiting in the wings, like a grinning Prince Of Wales, is Footballers’ Wives stud …

Pap Royalty

‘THE King is dead! Long live the King!

Pound-for-pound bigger than the Beckhams

There was a time when David Beckham ruled the roost at OK! – the undisputed king of celebrity, his wife Victoria his empty-headed queen sitting beside him …

Barmy Harmy

‘ONE hopes that the person who described the England bowling attack as “the worst in living memory” is sitting down this morning to breakfast on his words.

Don’t worry, Brian, England know how it feels

Steve Harmison and the rest …

Root Cause

‘WHEN Australian Lee Collinson was pulled over by police for driving without a licence, he needed to come up with a good excuse fast. And he did.

He told cops that he was on an urgent mercy mission. “My cousin …

Three Bald Mice

‘MICE have never to our knowledge suffered particularly from baldness.

Regular exercise can also help

However, there is good news for any mouse who is going a bit thin on top in this morning’s Independent, which reports that researchers have …

The Vanishing Vote

‘HAVING succeeded in ousting the incumbent government in Madrid, we can surely expect the murderers of al-Qaeda to try a similar ploy in the run-up to elections in Britain.

If the mountain won’t go to Tony, Tony will blow it

Pain In Spain

‘THE victory of a left-wing party in yesterday’s Spanish election would normally be greeted with joy in the British Labour party.

Spain needs time to heal

But one doubts that Tony Blair was celebrating last night as the anti-war Socialists …

Bunny Spoiler

‘IT is at times of crisis, such as in the immediate aftermath of the 9/11 attacks on New York and the Pentagon, during the war with Iraq or while the grief caused by the Madrid bombings is still fresh, that …

Short Shrift

‘THESE are hard times indeed. And we read with interest the Mirror’s story of one Adam Smith.

Clare decided it was best to wade in after the event

The father of classical economics, revealed to be just 14-years-old, found himself …

On The Abbey Road

‘REMEMBER the fifth Beatle. No, not Pete Best. And no, not George Best. Not any Bests at all, but Paul Cole.

‘Last one to the optician’s a hippy’

Cole has finally admitted that it was he who collaborated on the …

Blank Verse

‘SO good is Jordan at reciting the alphabet that she can do it twice on the bounce.

‘Can I have a PP please, Bob?’

She’s the Carol Vorderman of letters is Jordan, able to go to an FF, a GG …

Vicky Gambles On Ash

‘ANOTHER cheery week starts in Walford with news of a suicide. Jill’s alcoholic, abusive (of course) father killed himself – which, let’s face it, is probably preferable to returning to Albert Square again.

Ash gets flicked

Ian was with her …