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George Bush: Memo To Self (Me) - Things To Do

WHEN President Barack Obama started work in the White House he noticed a piece of paper that had slipped down the back of his desk drawer. The document bore the unmistakable handwriting of the forty-third President of the United States of America.

MEMO TO SELF (ME): THINGS TO DO

1. Declare war on Geese. We need to kick the butts of geese for bringing done plane in New York. Geese are agents of evil. Dick says Saddam had geese in palaces. There¹s ya link!

1. Sew dead fish into hem of curtain

1. Stop calling Obama, Osama, and vice versa

1. Make film on global cooling

1. Present Tony Blair with an Oscar for his part in the British Invasion.
Best supporting role in the invasion of Iraq, Afghanistan, Iranistan, Pakistan and so forth. The Golden Globe will be ours, goddamnit!

1. Contrive meeting with Bono

1. Sprinkle the phrase ‘Ma Brioche!’ into bedroom moments ¬ thanks Sarko.
Note to self: are you sure it’s sexy to be called Ma? Check this with Tony, he speaks Francish

1. Father Abraham?

1. Not to give away secrets, when thinking of secrets say:

“New York is home to many tall buildings known as skyscrapers”?

“Is that a fact?”

“Interfrastically speaking”

“I have amnesia”

Final speech:

“I do not know, reputations of many brave men should not be imperiled in the mouth of a single individual. Far from exercising a jealous surveillance over each other. Oh, how long, O Catiline, will you abuse our patience? How long is that madness of yours still to mock us? When is there to be an end of that unbridled audacity of yours?”

Ha-ha. Give ‘em what they need. No one likes a wise ass, right, dad?

Freedom is on the march and I for one will wave it goodbye

Better.

10. Try new hobbies. Walk not left before right but try right before left.
Tony calls it life-long learning

Knock. Knock. Knock. Who’s that knocking on the door..?

Anorak

Posted: 24th, January 2009 | In: Key Posts, Politicians Comments (8) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink

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SJBill says:
January 25th, 2009 at 9:48 pm

Two words:

1. Door

2. Key

Very Door-Key!

Karen says:
January 25th, 2009 at 6:06 am

Iran - home of modern progressive liberals, second only to that secular paradise of the Middle-East - Saudi Arabia.

sam says:
January 24th, 2009 at 1:33 am

it’s like bush got slapped in the face and no-one noticed.
not that that’s a bad thing.

sam says:
January 24th, 2009 at 1:22 am

obama got his ‘revenge’ in the inaugeration speech, quote::

‘I thank President Bush for his service to our nation..
… as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.’

methinks the thanking could’ve been a bit more spiced out with positive words, i.e. ‘great’ or whatever
and i wonder if the transition mentioned also referred to the hotel they ended up in.

chenier says:
January 24th, 2009 at 1:03 am

Well yes, he certainly managed to surprise us all by growing a pair in his last few days in office; who would have thought that would happen?

Not us, and not the people who thought he would be happy to nuke Iran. Indeed, he even ended up by getting his Press Secretary to call Olmert a liar, which is pretty weird for a supine glove puppet who had spent 8 years doing whatever Cheney told him to…

lyn says:
January 24th, 2009 at 12:32 am

George WWa Bush did a good job when you think of it, really. No other President had to go through what happened to America - aircraft crashing into twin towers and into a field, and into the pentagon (looked like a plane anyway). What could a President do. I reckon he waited too long before going to war. George WWa will be missed as he was a character.