Labour Party Kinky Sex: The Top Ten Hazel Blears Turn Ons

HAZEL Blears has a list of strangers she’d like to f*ck. You need to be on the list. If you’re not on Blears’ hit list, you might not be able to vote. It’s tough. But such is democracy.

Says Blears of Labour’s Joy Division:

“Campaigning is like sex – if you’re not enjoying it, you’re not doing it right. It should never be a drudge.”

Campaigners go door to door, so there’s no need to get up. Hazel will come to you! No extra charge.

Hazel reserves the right to carry a clipboard and record your preferences.

Ten Things that turn Hazel on:

1. Being called “Hilda”

2. Knocking on doors

3. People hiding from her

4. Being told to “f*** off”

5. Door knockers shaped like horseshoes

6. Slightly ajar letter boxes

7. Door chains

8. Having a door slammed in her face

9. Being kept waiting by someone saying “Be there in a minute”, “Just coming” and “Hold on a mo”

10. Dirty talking pet parrots

The Campaign For Less Sex With Hazel Blears will convene in a secret venue tonight….

More reading today:

Adam Holland
Bob Piper
Clive Davis
False Dichotomies
Free Born John
Greater Surbiton
Hopi Sen
Jeff Weintraub
Labour Home
Liberal Conspiracy
Oliver Kamm
PooterGeek

Anorak

Posted: 31st, January 2009 | In: Politicians Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed: RSS 2.0 | TrackBack | Permalink