Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air
For those of you not up with Americanisms, those of you who like your Sport to focus on association football and not soccer, “laid” is explained as: “Don’t bother voting! Get our leg over instead!”
Today Britons go to the polls and select which retired dentists, overgrown schoolboys and patty canvassers they want to sit on the 4,023 council seats up for grabs. Or not.
The Sun’s George Pasco-Watson prefers voting to sex and thinks Gordon Brown “faces a beating”, a “hammering”. This is “Judgement Day”. (Picture: Beau Bo D’Or Website)
The Mirror’s Bob Roberts hears Sunder Katwala, general secretary of the Fabian Society, a “key Labour thinktank”, accuse Brown of “neurotic under-confidence”.
But he is famous. He has his own porn film – at least one inspired by his antics. Eliot Splitz-Her:
HILLARY Clinton blasts Bush for not stopping a project her husband approved:
It’s a story Hillary Clinton loves to tell, about how the Chinese government bought a good American company in Indiana, laid off all its workers and moved its critical defense technology work to China.
And it’s a story with a dramatic, political ending. Republican President George W. Bush could have stopped it, but didn’t.
If she were president, she says, she’d fight to protect those jobs. It’s just the kind of talk that’s helping her win support from working-class Democrats worried about jobs and paychecks, not to mention their country’s security.
What Clinton never tells in the oft-repeated tale is the role prominent Democrats played in selling the company and its technology to the Chinese. She never mentions that big-time Democratic contributor George Soros helped put together the deal to sell the company, or that the sale was approved by the administration of her husband.
She’s her own woman…
COME see Donna Karan’s New York home. But not you in China. Not you.
You can look away lest you become corrupted by Karan’s inviting kitchen and carpet bouncier than a Page 3 model trampoline.
Lest you see the picture on Karan ledge of the Dalai Lama advertising this year’s black (orange-yellow) as she cradles Karan’s neck in his arms, in a manner that invokes memories of Big Daddy cradling Giant Haystacks.
If Obama continues to base his defence on history, he will just wade into deeper trouble. The “I wasn’t there; I didn’t hear him” defence just invites journalists to interview thousands of members of the congregation to find one who sat next to Obama during one of Wright’s racist and anti-American sermons. Just as John Kerry let his candidacy be hostage to the memories of every GI who served alongside him in Vietnam, so Obama will tie his to the recollections of his co-parishioners. Nor will Obama solve his Wright problem by subtly distancing himself from his pastor and condemning his views, in general, as “offensive” or “not representative of my campaign.” Rather, he needs to seize the opportunity Wright presents and rebut the pastor’s views, point by point — as he began to do Tuesday — and, in the process, define himself and his candidacy.
JEFFREY was in jail:
The Governor who debriefed us told us that he had been responsible for Jeffrey Archer while he was at the Bay. “Quite the most obnoxious prisoner I have ever dealt with” he said “Kept trying to tell me how to do my job”.
“His comments were not only divisive … but I believe that they end up giving comfort to those who prey on hate . . . . Whatever relationship I had with Reverend Wright has changed as a consequence of this.”
Barack Obama has noticed that people have noticed Wright and think he’s unhinged and that anyone who admires him is also unhinged.
And then there’s Wright, who suddenly has a powerful friend and realises that he’s being noticed. He starts to rant and rave. He likes being noticed.
And his powerful friend gets drowned out…
Prosecutor General Ghorban Ali Dori Najafabadi has written an official letter to Vice President Parviz Davoudi. In it, hhe say Barbie is a “danger” that need to be stopped.
Had only the French been so resolute when the plastic effigies of Klaus Barbie, the notorious head of Lyon’s Gestapo unit, infiltrated that land.
Says Najafabadi: “The irregular importation of such toys, which unfortunately arrive through unofficial sources and smuggling, is destructive culturally and a social danger.”
The letter goes on: “The displays of personalities such as Barbie, Batman, Spiderman and Harry Potter … as well as the irregular importation of unsanctioned computer games and movies are all warning bells to the officials in the cultural arena.”
He makes no mention of GI Joe, Gonks and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but this is surely only an oversight. Better the Iranian kids stick with their Ahmadinejad dolls, a hairier version of the every popular Troll.
THE New York Post has created an online game where you can smack the crap out of Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama.
Would you hit a woman? And if not, why not?
“I was shocked and outraged and I told him,” says the woman in the West Australian newspaper
“Outrage over chair-sniffing incident,” says The Age.
The Australian says that “Just 24 hours after 13 times labelling the chair sniffing an ‘unsubstantiated, anonymous rumour’ which he would not comment on, Mr Buswell finally admitted he sniffed the woman’s chair seat after she got up so he could get a laugh from other staff.”
Had Mr Buswell only whipped the chair away at the opportune moment or made a farting sound as soon as the women sat down things would have been left there.
But he elected to sniff, an action one imagines intended to imply the woman has made a smell, or else Mr Buswell is searching for her scent, marking him out as a pervert or a chair fetishist.
No CCTV footage of the sniffing has been unearthed, which is itself a shock. But the matter has nonetheless reached a head.
“Yes, I did inhale,” says the Sydney Morning Herald.
It’s Saddam’s birthday, at least it would have been had he not been offed. There’s the usual birthday songs. And a chant, which is not all that catchy, although we concede that it might lose something in the translation.
But the girls should be sensitive to the English language which dominates part of their country. Perhaps the local educationalists can bring about a chant contest, with a prize for the best, perhaps a cutting of Saddam’s moustache in a plastic locket or a gun?
Of course, there will be no little fretting about who will judge the contest. We suggest a panel of George Galloway, Donald Rumsfeld and any one of Saddam Hussein’s now resting look-alikes.
KATE Hoey will join Boris Johnson’s administration as a non-executive Director…
“With a distinctive sartorial style which worries even his most extremist supporters, and a background as a ‘visionary’ artist whose most notable work was a homo-erotic film, Richard Barnbrook is an unusual Far Right leader, to say the least.”
Is he? He sounds pretty much bang on, a stereotype…
Zhirinovsky, Vice-Chairman of Russian Parliament, the Duma, is hunting for Crows by shooting from a moving train.
He sees some crows and shoots some of them. He then shoots at chickens.
(Picture: Beau Bo D’Or Website.)
Could Tony Blair make it to 23 books? The New Testament only has 27.
Answers in the form of a menu-oir to the usual address…
JEREMIAH Wright is talking. And talking. And talking. He does an impression of Britney Spears doing an impression of Dick Van Dyke speaking English like they do in England.
“Barack HUSSEIN Obama,” he says. “Barack HUSSEIN Obama, Barack HUSSEIN Obama. There are Arabic-speaking Christians, there Arabic-speaking Jews, Arabic-speaking Muslims and Arabic-speaking atheists. Arabic is a language, it is not a religion. Stop trying to scare folks by giving them this Arabic name like it’s some disease.”
As one pundit puts it: “According to this shining exemplar of Barack Obama and the deep scholarship of black liberation theology, black people are right-brained and white people are left-brained. Asian people don’t make the discussion since that would be, well, unfortunate.”
Click on it to make it, er, blow up.
Interestingly, a painter by the name of Cornelia Hesse-Honegger collects and paints mutant bugs in the vicinity of irradiated wastelands.
At Sellafield I collected Heteroptera and Cicada Homoptera as well as ladybird beetles, Coleoptera. I found morphological disturbances, growths and deformities of the chitin, the material that makes up the exoskeleton of many insects. I found the most profound deformities in Ponsonby…
Hesse-Honegger is from Switzerland, the most depressing and annihilation-friendly country on Earth.
No nuclear explosions there. But they do have a relaxed take on assisted suicide…
EDUCATION whether you like it or not – Full-time adult coercion: the virus spreads …
BARACK Obama: “He’s looking less like Kennedy, and more like Steve Urkel.”
REALLY: “We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to prevent coastal erosion on the east coast of Yorkshire“.
Says The Croydonian: “As opposed to the west coast of Yorkshire, of course.”
SIMON Carr on Gordon Brown’s formidable strength:
They are amazing, in their way. Admirable, even. The sheer intestinal fortitude it must take to appear in public after all that international humiliation. And then to come back and be humiliated at home. How to go through all that humiliation without being humbled! What a package of qualities you need for public life at this highest level. Of course, lunacy helps and, yesterday, Gordon Brown displayed the strength of 10 lunatics. It is his greatest asset.
RECOVERED from the stress of the stress ball attack, George Galloway is back on the camping trail.
To Westminster, and Galloway is stood atop his open-topped bus.
“I salute your indefatigability,” says one admirer, quoting Galloway’s famour catchphrase, before adding a cheery “you w***er”.
Says eyewitness Amanda Lamb in the Sun: “Galloway yelled, ‘Come up here and say that, big man’. The guy yelled back and said he was happy to go up on the bus and talk to him.”
And do his wife and local Chinese restaurateur know?
The US media is obsessed with hand gestures.
It call on foreing secretary David Miliband “to take urgent action with regard to the Chinese ship, currently heading to Uganda carrying arms bound for Zimbabwe”.
Note to Chinese captain’s: Uganda is the blog in red on the map…
SAYS a spokesman for OGC: “It is true that it caused a few titters among some staff when viewed on its side, but on consideration we concluded that the effect was generic to the particular combination of the letters OGC – and it is not inappropriate to an organisation that’s looking to have a firm grip on Government spend.”
Brand expert Michael Hamilton tells the Telegraph: “They’re going to get more column inches than they could ever have expected before. If I were them, I would be pretty pleased.”