Anorak

Politicians | Anorak - Part 136

Politicians Category

Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air

How To Milk A Motorist And Spot A Yellow Menace To Children

fuel_tax_chancellor.jpgCAN you milk a motorist?

The Mail says you can. And in “MILKING THE MOTORIST”, the paper says that one in three motorists is caught each year by parking wardens or speed cameras.

David Ruffley, the Tory police spokesman, says: “This is another staggering statistic that tells us a lot about the surveillance society.”

The Mail says it’s all about raising money from “soft targets”, those people in metal cars. It is an “outrageous abuse of power”.

Better still, it’s a chance for the Sun to use the pun “GRAND THEFT AUTO”.

Having made mention of terrorists, cancer and global warming, the paper’s Tim Spanton says Government sees the motorist as Public Enemy No.1. (Picture: Beau Bo D’Or Website)

The Government takes 67.8p in ever £1.10 litre of petrol.

And on top of the road taxes, congestion charge, parking fines (“£20 for every man, woman and child in Britain”) and speed cameras there’s the “SPY IN THE HAT”.

Her name’s Raj Kumaria, pictured in the Mail holding a huge “STOP” sign on a stick – a stick that also features the shadowy form of two children and a built in camera.

Thankfully, this menace can be easily identified on account of her huge yellow coat, yellow gloves and black baseball cap.

But she is not alone. These people work in gangs. The Mirror spots one called Val wearing dark glasses and taking film of drivers near a school. It is feared that some drivers have children in their cars.

It’s nothing short of sick.

And it’s high time this Government spared the motorist and went after the real criminals…

Posted: 1st, May 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comments (18) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Not Spanking ‘Neurotic’ Gordon Brown At The Polls

brown_alarm.gifAN up and at ‘em wake up call from the new improved Daily Sport: “DON’T VOTE! GET LAID!”

For those of you not up with Americanisms, those of you who like your Sport to focus on association football and not soccer, “laid” is explained as: “Don’t bother voting! Get our leg over instead!”

Today Britons go to the polls and select which retired dentists, overgrown schoolboys and patty canvassers they want to sit on the 4,023 council seats up for grabs. Or not.

The Sun’s George Pasco-Watson prefers voting to sex and thinks Gordon Brown “faces a beating”, a “hammering”. This is “Judgement Day”. (Picture: Beau Bo D’Or Website)

The Mirror’s Bob Roberts hears Sunder Katwala, general secretary of the Fabian Society, a “key Labour thinktank”, accuse Brown of “neurotic under-confidence”.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 1st, May 2008 | In: Boris Watch, Conservatives, Gordon Brown, Labour Party, Politicians, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Eliot Splitz-Her Story: An Eliot Spitzer Porn Parody

ELIOT Spitzer is undown, literally.

But he is famous. He has his own porn film – at least one inspired by his antics. Eliot Splitz-Her:

Posted: 30th, April 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Anorak TV, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Hillary Clinton Attacks Bush For Not Stopping Bill’s Project

HILLARY Clinton blasts Bush for not stopping a project her husband approved:

It’s a story Hillary Clinton loves to tell, about how the Chinese government bought a good American company in Indiana, laid off all its workers and moved its critical defense technology work to China.

And it’s a story with a dramatic, political ending. Republican President George W. Bush could have stopped it, but didn’t.

If she were president, she says, she’d fight to protect those jobs. It’s just the kind of talk that’s helping her win support from working-class Democrats worried about jobs and paychecks, not to mention their country’s security.

What Clinton never tells in the oft-repeated tale is the role prominent Democrats played in selling the company and its technology to the Chinese. She never mentions that big-time Democratic contributor George Soros helped put together the deal to sell the company, or that the sale was approved by the administration of her husband.

She’s her own woman…

Posted: 30th, April 2008 | In: Hillary Clinton, Politicians, Race For The White House, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Elle Decor China Bans Donna Karan For Dalai Lama Picture

elle-dali-lama.jpg

COME see Donna Karan’s New York home. But not you in China. Not you.

You can look away lest you become corrupted by Karan’s inviting kitchen and carpet bouncier than a Page 3 model trampoline.

Lest you see the picture on Karan ledge of the Dalai Lama advertising this year’s black (orange-yellow) as she cradles Karan’s neck in his arms, in a manner that invokes memories of Big Daddy cradling Giant Haystacks.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 30th, April 2008 | In: Politicians, War On Terror | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


What Barack Obama Should Do About Wright

DICK Morris tells Barack Obama what do to about Jeremiah Wright:

If Obama continues to base his defence on history, he will just wade into deeper trouble. The “I wasn’t there; I didn’t hear him” defence just invites journalists to interview thousands of members of the congregation to find one who sat next to Obama during one of Wright’s racist and anti-American sermons. Just as John Kerry let his candidacy be hostage to the memories of every GI who served alongside him in Vietnam, so Obama will tie his to the recollections of his co-parishioners. Nor will Obama solve his Wright problem by subtly distancing himself from his pastor and condemning his views, in general, as “offensive” or “not representative of my campaign.” Rather, he needs to seize the opportunity Wright presents and rebut the pastor’s views, point by point — as he began to do Tuesday — and, in the process, define himself and his candidacy.

Posted: 30th, April 2008 | In: Barack Obama, Politicians, Race For The White House, Twitterings | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Jailing Of Jeffrey Archer

JEFFREY was in jail:

The Governor who debriefed us told us that he had been responsible for Jeffrey Archer while he was at the Bay. “Quite the most obnoxious prisoner I have ever dealt with” he said “Kept trying to tell me how to do my job”.

Spotter: Ed

Posted: 30th, April 2008 | In: Celebrities, Politicians, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Obama Notices That People Are Noticing Jeremiah Wright

barack1.jpgBARACK Obama “OUTRAGED AND SADDENED” about Jeremiah Wright:

His comments were not only divisive … but I believe that they end up giving comfort to those who prey on hate . . . . Whatever relationship I had with Reverend Wright has changed as a consequence of this.”

Barack Obama has noticed that people have noticed Wright and think he’s unhinged and that anyone who admires him is also unhinged.

And then there’s Wright, who suddenly has a powerful friend and realises that he’s being noticed. He starts to rant and rave. He likes being noticed.

And his powerful friend gets drowned out…

Posted: 29th, April 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Barack Obama, Politicians, Race For The White House | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Iran Warns Of Dangers Of Barbie Dolls And Harry Potter

barbie-iran.jpgIRANIANS have been alerted to the “destructive” cultural and social consequences of importing Barbie dolls.

Prosecutor General Ghorban Ali Dori Najafabadi has written an official letter to Vice President Parviz Davoudi. In it, hhe say Barbie is a “danger” that need to be stopped.

Had only the French been so resolute when the plastic effigies of Klaus Barbie, the notorious head of Lyon’s Gestapo unit, infiltrated that land.

Says Najafabadi: “The irregular importation of such toys, which unfortunately arrive through unofficial sources and smuggling, is destructive culturally and a social danger.”

The letter goes on: “The displays of personalities such as Barbie, Batman, Spiderman and Harry Potter … as well as the irregular importation of unsanctioned computer games and movies are all warning bells to the officials in the cultural arena.”

He makes no mention of GI Joe, Gonks and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but this is surely only an oversight. Better the Iranian kids stick with their Ahmadinejad dolls, a hairier version of the every popular Troll.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 29th, April 2008 | In: Politicians, Strange But True, War On Terror | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Your Chance To Punch Hillary Clinton

hillary-barack-fight.jpgTHE New York Post has created an online game where you can smack the crap out of Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama.

Would you hit a woman? And if not, why not?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 29th, April 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Photojournalism, Politicians, Race For The White House | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


When Chair Sniffers Confess: Troy Buswell Inhales

buswell.jpgA WOMAN, who does not wish to be named, says Mr Troy Buswell, West Australian Opposition Leader, began to sniff the chair she had been sitting on at his Parliament House office in December 2005.

“I was shocked and outraged and I told him,” says the woman in the West Australian newspaper

“Outrage over chair-sniffing incident,” says The Age.

The Australian says that “Just 24 hours after 13 times labelling the chair sniffing an ‘unsubstantiated, anonymous rumour’ which he would not comment on, Mr Buswell finally admitted he sniffed the woman’s chair seat after she got up so he could get a laugh from other staff.”

Had Mr Buswell only whipped the chair away at the opportune moment or made a farting sound as soon as the women sat down things would have been left there.

But he elected to sniff, an action one imagines intended to imply the woman has made a smell, or else Mr Buswell is searching for her scent, marking him out as a pervert or a chair fetishist.

No CCTV footage of the sniffing has been unearthed, which is itself a shock. But the matter has nonetheless reached a head.

“Yes, I did inhale,” says the Sydney Morning Herald.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 29th, April 2008 | In: Politicians, Strange But True | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


A Song Contest For Saddam Hussein’s Birthday

saddam-hussein-hanging.jpg“BUSH, Bush you low-life! Saddam’s blood is not cheap!” chant the schoolgirls stood around Saddam Hussein’s grave in the mausoleum where he is buried.

It’s Saddam’s birthday, at least it would have been had he not been offed. There’s the usual birthday songs. And a chant, which is not all that catchy, although we concede that it might lose something in the translation.

But the girls should be sensitive to the English language which dominates part of their country. Perhaps the local educationalists can bring about a chant contest, with a prize for the best, perhaps a cutting of Saddam’s moustache in a plastic locket or a gun?

Of course, there will be no little fretting about who will judge the contest. We suggest a panel of George Galloway, Donald Rumsfeld and any one of Saddam Hussein’s now resting look-alikes.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 29th, April 2008 | In: Politicians, War On Terror | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Hillary Clinton’s ‘Lesbian Scandal’

hillary-clinton-lesbian.jpgWANT to know “all the shocking details” about Hillary Clinton’s “LESBIAN SCANDAL”?

The Enquirer has all the details.

The race for the Democratic nomination to be US President is tuning into a minority issue. On the one side is black, mixed-race, Christian, Muslim, elitist, one-legged, part Cherokee Barack Obama and on the other is mum, wife, cuckold, trouser-suit wearer, mountaineer fan, sniper-dodging, nut crushing, shot-putting lactose intolerant Hillary Clinton.

We are only upset that the one-eyed black Jew Sammy Davis Junior did not long enough to see such a show.

But what of the lesbian scandal?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 29th, April 2008 | In: Hillary Clinton, National Enquirer, Race For The White House | Comments (9) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Kate Hoey Joins Boris Johnson’s Team

KATE Hoey will join Boris Johnson’s administration as a non-executive Director…

Posted: 29th, April 2008 | In: Boris Watch, Politicians, Twitterings | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Richard Barnbrook Is The Stereotypical Far Right Leader

richardbarnbrook.jpgTHE Mail is looking at the BNP’s London mayoral candidate Richard Barnbrook, pictured dressed in brown, his short hair parted neatly:

“With a distinctive sartorial style which worries even his most extremist supporters, and a background as a ‘visionary’ artist whose most notable work was a homo-erotic film, Richard Barnbrook is an unusual Far Right leader, to say the least.”

Is he? He sounds pretty much bang on, a stereotype…

Posted: 29th, April 2008 | In: Politicians, Tabloids | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Zhirinovsky, Vice-Chairman Of Duma Is Hunting For Crows

Zhirinovsky, Vice-Chairman of Russian Parliament, the Duma, is hunting for Crows by shooting from a moving train.

He sees some crows and shoots some of them. He then shoots at chickens.

Posted: 29th, April 2008 | In: Anorak TV, Politicians, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Jimmy Carter Uses Hamas To Push His 23rd Book

john-prescott-memoirs.jpgJIMMY Carter is using the publicity from his weekend break with Hamas to release his book – his 23rd book.

(Picture: Beau Bo D’Or Website.)

Could Tony Blair make it to 23 books? The New Testament only has 27.  

And what of John Prescott? What would he do to push his 23rd book? And he might do it – what with his being bibliomic.

Answers in the form of a menu-oir to the usual address…

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 28th, April 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Labour Party, Politicians, War On Terror | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Hillary Clinton Compares Outsourcing To The Holocaust

Hillary Clinton Compares Outsourcing To The Holocaust – almost

Posted: 28th, April 2008 | In: Hillary Clinton, Politicians, Race For The White House, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Barack Obama And Jeremiah Wright: The Black Clap And Britney Spears

JEREMIAH Wright is talking. And talking. And talking. He does an impression of Britney Spears doing an impression of Dick Van Dyke speaking English like they do in England.

“Barack HUSSEIN Obama,” he says. “Barack HUSSEIN Obama, Barack HUSSEIN Obama. There are Arabic-speaking Christians, there Arabic-speaking Jews, Arabic-speaking Muslims and Arabic-speaking atheists. Arabic is a language, it is not a religion. Stop trying to scare folks by giving them this Arabic name like it’s some disease.”

As one pundit puts it: “According to this shining exemplar of Barack Obama and the deep scholarship of black liberation theology, black people are right-brained and white people are left-brained. Asian people don’t make the discussion since that would be, well, unfortunate.”

Posted: 28th, April 2008 | In: Anorak TV, Barack Obama, Politicians, Race For The White House | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Nuclear Explosions Since 1945 And Deformities

nuclear-explosions.pngTHIS is a map of all the nuclear explosions since 1945.

Click on it to make it, er, blow up.

Interestingly, a painter by the name of Cornelia Hesse-Honegger collects and paints mutant bugs in the vicinity of irradiated wastelands.

At Sellafield I collected Heteroptera and Cicada Homoptera as well as ladybird beetles, Coleoptera. I found morphological disturbances, growths and deformities of the chitin, the material that makes up the exoskeleton of many insects. I found the most profound deformities in Ponsonby…

Hesse-Honegger is from Switzerland, the most depressing and annihilation-friendly country on Earth.

No nuclear explosions there. But they do have a relaxed take on assisted suicide…

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 28th, April 2008 | In: Photojournalism, Politicians, Strange But True | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Education Virus

EDUCATION whether you like it or not – Full-time adult coercion: the virus spreads

Posted: 28th, April 2008 | In: Politicians, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Barack Obama Is Steve Urkel

BARACK Obama: “He’s looking less like Kennedy, and more like Steve Urkel.”

Posted: 28th, April 2008 | In: Barack Obama, Politicians, Race For The White House, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Gordon Brown Is King Canute

REALLY: “We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to prevent coastal erosion on the east coast of Yorkshire“.

Source

Says The Croydonian: “As opposed to the west coast of Yorkshire, of course.”

Posted: 28th, April 2008 | In: Gordon Brown, Labour Party, Politicians, Twitterings | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Macedonians Boycot Greeks And French Fries

EU Ref looks at French Fries, Freedom Fries and Macedonians boycotting the Greeks:

Boycotting goods is all the rage. The Chinese are doing it to the French (and that deserves a separate posting) and the Macedonians are doing it to the Greeks. News of this comes from Transitions Online, whose journalist, Ljubica Grozdanovska, may know a great deal about the Balkans but seems to be a bit hazy on the United States.

When the French government refused to support the American-led invasion of Iraq in 2003, restaurants in Washington replaced “French fries” with “freedom fries” and the Gallic kiss became taboo. Patriots poured vintage champagne down the drain to show their distaste for the F-word.

Americans may now be eating crow with their fried potatoes and sparkling wines.

I’ve got news for the lady, which she and some other Europeans might like to think about. While French fries have remained available in the States, often called freedom fries, the alternative, known as home fries, are absolutely delicious. Even more to the point, Californian wine is not something to sneer at. Its consistently high quality is pushing French wines out of the world market, boycott or no boycott.

And: 

Getting back to Macedonia. As we have written before, Greece will not agree to the country becoming part of either NATO or the EU unless it changes its name, the present one, fully accepted by all except the EU under Greek pressure, apparently indicating that Macedonia may have territorial demands on northern Greece. Macedonia denies this and, to be fair, has, rather unusually for a Balkan country, never given the slightest indication of those demands.

Why can’t we all just agree to blow each other up?

Posted: 25th, April 2008 | In: Politicians, Twitterings | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Gordon Brown Has The Strength Of Ten Lunatics

SIMON Carr on Gordon Brown’s formidable strength: 

They are amazing, in their way. Admirable, even. The sheer intestinal fortitude it must take to appear in public after all that international humiliation. And then to come back and be humiliated at home. How to go through all that humiliation without being humbled! What a package of qualities you need for public life at this highest level. Of course, lunacy helps and, yesterday, Gordon Brown displayed the strength of 10 lunatics. It is his greatest asset.

Source

Posted: 25th, April 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Gordon Brown, Labour Party, Politicians, Twitterings | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0