Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air
McCAIN, Obama or Clinton. Lick a finger and stick it up…
GORDON Brown is in the US. So too is the Pope, Tony Blair’s special envoy.
A coincidence? The Guardian says the Pope’s visit is “threatening to overshadow Brown’s trip.
There is a risk that Americans who didn’t know who Brown was before his visit will be none the wiser by the time he heads home.
In any case, Tony Blair’s the President of England, right? Roll the tape:
NICK Clegg was a Tory?
Says Mr Davis of the youthful Mr Obama: “That boy’s finger does not need to be on the button.”
As the LA Times notes, this is “racially-charged, unacceptable and reminiscent of a time in America that fortunately is slipping from the memory of most”. It is not a cheery East End “‘Right, boy”, nor is it a call to hang out with the boys.
Mark Ambinder wonders: “When was the last time you called someone three years younger than you a boy?”
Oliver Willis describes it as a “bigot eruption”.Anyway, Davis has apologised. He writes:
GLOBAL warming and environment news from the European ‘Parliament‘:
“Seriously damaging the environment should be made a criminal offence in all EU Member States, so as to ensure that EU legislation is properly enforced, says the Legal Affairs Committee in a co-decision report, approved on Tuesday, on a proposed EU directive on the protection of the environment through criminal law.
MEPs in committee agreed that in principle governments should apply criminal measures to punish any illegal behaviour likely to seriously injure people or damage air, soil, waters, plants and animals, when committed intentionally or with serious negligence.
“The report, by Hartmut Nassauer (EPP-ED, DE) was approved by a small majority, with 15 votes in favour, 11 against and 2 abstentions”.
Can Cristiano Ronaldo be jailed?
KEN Livingstone has five living breathing, polluting children:
And nobody mentioned the green issue. Now isn’t that strange? Ken Livingstone, the London Mayor, who is resolutely committed to his blueprint for a sustainable city with zero-carbon emissions on new developments and £25 taxes on fuel-inefficient cars, turns out to have five children by three different partners, and not a peep from Left or Right about overpopulation. Funny that.
A guy buys the wrong sort of vehicle, runs it for a few hours each week, most of the time it sits in his garage doing nothing, using nothing, consuming absolutely nothing, and he’s a monster. Ken introduces five people into the world, people being the single biggest factor in the consumption of resources, people that need water, energy, food and shelter, that overcrowd the cities and invade the countryside, that cause CO2 emissions and generally stuff the place up and will continue doing so for roughly the next 75 years, and not a murmur.
And they probably don’t even flush the toilet…
THE McCanns are campaiging for improved child safety. Their daughter Madeleine McCann is missing.
They have not been charged with committing any crime. Yet an Anorak reader sends us this missive from Struan Stevenson, MEP:
Here is my reply to a letter of complaint to Struan STEVENSON MEP
‘Thanks for your email. I have agreed to join a number of prominent Euro politicians in launching a written declaration which seeks to create an amber-alert system in the EU, similar to that which exists in the US. While such a system will not stop child abduction it may help with the speedy recovery of dozens of children before they are spirited across borders. This has been the experience in the US.
As far as the McCanns are concerned, they are simply a focus for the launch of our initiative. No one, least of all they themselves, denies their gross negligence in leaving their babies unattended, however briefly, while on holiday. However, they have paid a heavy price for their mistake and I can only hope that people will have sympathy with their on-going plight.
Struan STEVENSON MEP
Vice President of the EPP-ED Group
Conservative Member for Scotland
DIZZY nots that DirectGov have launched a aservice that allows you to watch Government campaigns videos on your mobile:
Text ‘VIDEO’ to 64746 to download and share Directgov videos on your mobile. Standard network rates apply
Apparently you will be able to get videos such as “DVLA – Car Tax Evasion Campaign”. Honestly, I’m deadly serious.
Now tell me this. What sort of person is going to pay to text the Government and then pay network rates on top to watch a video telling them that is naughty to evade paying road tax?
GORDON Brown is talking on the local radio in Oxford.
The Sun tunes in. It hears and that the PM can’t get the theme song for children’s TV show Ben 10 out of his head.
No, not Ben No.10. Gordon Brown would not stoop to dog whistle politics, tapping into listeners’ subconscious.
This is Ben 10, the character created by a company called Man of Action. This is Ben 10 who finds a device that gives him the ability to transform into a variety of life forms, each with their own unique powers. He can be all things to all people.
This is Ben 10, who encounters Kevin, a sociopath with flicky hair who eventually morphs into a hideous amalgam of Ben’s original ten forms. Kevin teams up with the yellowy Vilgax, and together they try to do down Ben 10.
Read on to read it…
THIS is an extract form Liberal DEmoctrat leader nick Clegg’s interview in GQ amgazine. It is beyond parody:
Piers Morgan: Was the invasion of Iraq illegal?
Nick Clegg: There’s a strong case to suggest it was in breach of UN resolutions, yes.
PM: So, assuming it was illegal, would it be justified for Iraqis to exact revenge on Britain?
NC: I don’t think you remedy an act of violence like that.
PM: If Iraq had invaded Britain illegally, you would have said it was morally justified for us to attack them back, wouldn’t you?
NC: Yes, I probably would.
PM: So why is it not morally justified for them to attack us back?
NC: I wish it was that simple.
HILLARY Clinton says she spent her summers in Scranton Pennsylvania, twinned with Belfast, Rwanda and Bosnia.
Scranton, a town torn by in-fighting and the threat of genocide. Young Hillary arrives…
This is me in Scranton, where my father was raised, and my grandfather worked in the lace mill. Every August, we’d pile into the car and head to our cottage on Lake Winola. There was no heat, or indoor shower-just the joy of family.
We did have a film camera though, a car, a holiday home by a lake and a message of peace for the local warlords…
I was raised on pinochle and the American dream. I still have faith in that dream. It’s just been neglected a little. We all need to dream it again. And I promise we will.
It’s 3am, and you’re dreaming of Hillary Clinton…
I’m Hillary Clinton and I approved this message.
I’m Hillary Clinton standing atop Mount Everest, dodging sniper fire and singing a Rwandan show tune I learnt from a mysterious robed figure who came to me in a vision…
Barack Obama also has a video out. It too features his family. Unlike Clinton’s black-and-white affair, Obama’s family are in full colour…
SAYS Kevin Rudd, Australian leader du jour:
We will not be having Chinese security forces, or the Chinese security services, providing security for the torch when it is in Australia. We – Australia – will be providing that security.
Joe Bugner still alive?
Nigel Lawson on the greens:
Those who wish to order us how to run our lives, faced with the uncomfortable evidence that economic prosperity is more likely to be achieved by less government intervention rather than more, naturally welcome the emergence of a new licence to intrude, to interfere, to tax and to regulate: all in the great cause of saving the planet from the alleged horrors of global warming …
People still feel the need for the comfort and higher values that religion can provide; and it is the quasi-religion of green alarmism, of which the global warming issue is the most striking example, which has filled the vacuum, with reasoned questioning of its mantras regarded as little short of sacrilege.
He’s right. The greens are their worst are a shiny-eyed bunch of control freaks…
BARACK Obama’s speeches for idiots:
Obama’s speeches frequently include passages that flatter their listeners who aren’t quite intelligent enough to realize how shallow his thinking actually is into thinking that they are more intelligent than they are.
The Telegraph reports that should Gordon Brown repeal the 1701 Act of Settlement, something he is considering, the 74-year-old German will sit on the throne.
Brown sees the undoing of the Act as a way of “healing a historic injustice by ending the prohibition against Catholics taking the throne”.
No Act and Franz Herzog von Bayern, the current Duke of Bavaria, becomes the rightful heir to the British Crown under the Stuart line.
VOTE Match London wants you to answer questions to see how should get your vote in the London Mayoral and and Assembly elections*.
Q1. – Have you ever awoken to discover that Ken Livingstone is your dad?
Q2. – Have you ever tken on your long-lost real father in the contest to be London maoyr?
Q3. – Are you blonde?
*Anorak most agrees with Winston McKenzie – and we had to look him up to find out who he is…
SAYS Ken Livingstone, father to “FIVE” children by “THREE” different women: “I don’t think anybody in this city will be shocked by what two consenting adults do, as long as you don’t include children, animals and vegetables.
“No one has ever found anything in my private life that was illegal or immoral.”
But it’s not for want of looking. Asks the Sun: “DO YOU know Red Ken’s secret family?” If you do, then call the paper’s hotline.
And then call the paper’s owner and explain how no-one apparently knew the London mayor had a tribe of children until now.
As for Ken, who knew that sounding like a plugged in martial aid makes you such a hit with the ladies?
BRITISH bloggers do like their stat porn. Tim Worstall loosk at “The Biggest Willy Competition”. Who has it?
Yes, I do says Guido!
But mine is better says Iain!
And mine more sweary says the DK!
And mine more perfectly formed says Tim Ireland!
Guido gets 458,475 Page Hits from 352,291 Visitors
Dale gets 239,368 unique visitors; page impressions were 357,353; absolute uniques were 53,255
DK gets: Page Views: 67,565; Unique Visitors: 54,231
Tim gets : “Server logs show approx. 71,000 ‘unique’ visitors to the site. Google Analytics says 25,016 Absolute Unique Visitors involving the main weblog alone. Server logs show approx. 400,000 page views site-wide.”
Tim Worstall: 214,315 people visited this site; 219,306 Visits; 214,315 Absolute Unique Visitors. Over 200,000 absolute uniques! Yes, it’s true! Timmy has the biggest willy!
Paul Sorene’s Anorak gets 490,000 uniques and 1.2 million page views. and the readers stick around.
“REALITY-soap bad girl Heidi Montag” of US show The Hills has endorsed John McCain.
And John McCain has responded:
“I’m honored to have Heidi’s support and I want to assure her that I never miss an episode of ‘The Hills,’ especially since the new season started.”
As one commentor on Time’s website notes: “McCain can’t remember if condoms prevent AIDS or who the players are in Iraq, but he knows who the actresses are on The Hills? Incredible.”
Says another: “Has she been trained in Iran? Have you watched her show? It’s entirely possible that she has been sent by terrorists to punish us.”
But the pick has to be: “It’s 10pm and your children are safe and asleep. There’s a phone in the White House and it’s ringing. Something’s happening in the world. But the president is watching The Hills. He never misses an episode. The world can wait, Heidi and Spencer are breaking up again.”
JSP: Are you prepared for what’s going to be slung at you as this election campaign gets under way? Your past is going to be raked over. What about drugs? In an interview, you said, ‘I’ve snorted coke, but I sneezed.’
BJ: I thoroughly disagree with drugs, and…
You smoked dope before you went to university.
That’s true, but the stuff you and I may have smoked is not the same as what the kids are having now. I think skunk and this stuff is very, very dangerous.
Well, you’re a father and you’ve got four children.
I don’t want my kids having drugs.
…You said in interviews that you’ve snorted coke.Well, that was when I was 19. It all goes to show that, sometimes, it’s better not to say anything.
Brilliant stuff. Always good if a journalist can encourage their subject not to speak…
“Oysters for everyone!” says Boris. “I promise to oysterize all of south London!”
THOSE new British coins:
The coins are thereby symbolic of what New Labour has done to the United Kingdom, to the British Constitution, and to the ancient rights and liberties of the British people. From the grandness of unity, purpose, meaning and wholeness which was symbolised by Britannia, we now have the splintered autonomy of micro-narratives; a disparate collection of sub-cultures and designer cults, each with its own language, code and life-style. What a farrago.
Do they weight the same as the old ones?
CIVIL servants love bottled water:
It sounds like it is very thirsty work at the DWP. Since April 2006 they have purchased 5.3 million litres of bottled water. Apparently they’re planning on introducing the use of tap water by summer 2008. Does that mean they don’t have any taps already? How difficult is it to say “we’re not buying that anymore, go use a tap”?
They do love their own branded bottled water…