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Politicians | Anorak - Part 148

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Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air

Vote For The Funny Man To Be London Mayor

WE like our politicians to be funny. John McCain is not that funny. Mike Huckabee is funnier. Hillary Clinton is terrifically unfunny. William Hague can be funny.

And on the hustings the London mayoral candidates are setting them up and banging them in.

Their latest session lasted 100-minutes and can be bought on DVD. Some highlights:

Boris Johnson arrives seven minutes late because Mr Livingstone was delayed by London’s transport problems.

Boom-boom!

Boris Johnson (Tory) to Ken Livingstone (Labour): “I am willing to give free lessons – in complete safety and discretion. It is high time that, like me and every other cyclist in London, you face the full horror of trying to overtake a bendy bus.”

Senior Tory on Boris: “Every time he does open his mouth, we keep our fingers crossed,” one admitted. “We will be sweating right up to 1 May.”

Ken Livingstone: “You can’t have candidates saying ‘I am in favour of nuclear power and I am terribly green’ … that ‘I am going to be the greenest mayor ever but I applauded George Bush for not signing the Kyoto treaty’. It is rubbish.”

Mr Johnson: “Stuff and nonsense.”

Chortle

A double act:

Sian Berry, the Green Party candidate: You’re all just “men in suits”

Liberal Democrat candidate, Brian Paddick, the gay former senior Metropolitan Police officer: “I think people would raise a few eyebrows if I turned up in a dress.”

Yadda-yadda-yadda

Paddick then shows his absurdist bent: “Burnishing his green credentials, Mr Paddick suggested that he would have the smallest carbon footprint of the four candidates on the platform. He didn’t own a car, he walked everywhere, he had had the heating on in his one-bedroom flat for only 45 minutes this winter.”

Anorak: Perhaps he walks to get warm?

Livingstone: “Mr Livingstone promised that, by 2010, the Thames would be the cleanest river in a major capital and people would start swimming in it.”

Cue Boris in a pair of trunks…

Ends.

Posted: 15th, February 2008 | In: Boris Watch, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


George Bush, Waterboarding And 7/7

SAYS GEORGE Bush: “I suspect the families of those victims understand the nature of killers. What people gotta understand is that we’ll make decisions based upon law. We’re a nation of law.”

Why suspect? Why not ask the families of those killed in the July 7 attacks on London what they think?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 15th, February 2008 | In: George Bush, Politicians, War On Terror | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Tony Benn’s EU Referendum Letter

This is the text of a letter sent by Tony Benn to every Westminster MP.

Dear Member of Parliament,I am writing to ask you to make it possible for me – and every elector in Britain – to vote on the Lisbon Treaty in a referendum. For the Lisbon Treaty transfers important powers which belong to us, to others in Europe we do not elect, cannot remove, and who therefore do not have to listen to us in the way that MPs listen to their constituents.

Britain must work closely with its European neighbours, but if this cooperation is to succeed, the arrangements must be democratically approved by all the people of Europe.

There is a case for a fully federal Europe. But surely those who take that view should, as democrats, want to win a majority for it in a referendum. That is why this decision must be made by the British people as a whole, because it will affect us all irrevocably and the Lisbon Treaty can never be amended or repealed by any future government that we elect.

Moreover, if three-line whips are imposed, telling any MPs how they must vote, it could not then even be argued that parliament had decided the matter freely. For all these reasons I hope you yourself will feel able to vote for a referendum, thus safeguarding the rights of your electors.

Tony Benn

Via 

Posted: 15th, February 2008 | In: Politicians, Twitterings | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Martin McGuinness: The One About The Drunk Irishman

SAYS Martin Mr McGuinness, former IRA leader: “I have to say, I am absolutely appalled at the level of concentration around the pub in the programmes.”

Adding: “I am not a fan of East-Enders or Coronation Street but my wife and my children, particularly the girls, watch the programme. I am appalled at the drunkenness that is quite clear for everybody to see and all of that before the 9 o’clock watershed when children as young as 8, 9, 10 and 11 are watching. Now I regard that as irresponsible broadcasting and I think something should be done about it.”

Steady on, Mr McGuinness. You do the terror and the politics. We’ll do the satire…

Posted: 15th, February 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Obama Burns Without The Hillary Firewall

INDEED: “The biggest beneficiary of the Hillary loathe has been Obama. Her campaign has been sufficiently subverted and sabotaged by the legions of Hillary haters to the point that it’s listing. If her campaign goes down, so will Obama’s Hillary firewall. The gloves will be off and it won’t be pretty.”

Obama stands for change. And , well, anyone..?

Posted: 15th, February 2008 | In: Hillary Clinton, Politicians, Race For The White House | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Hillary For Democracy, Sing It

“Hillary for you and me.
Bring back our democracy.
Vote from sea to shining sea.
Everyone for Hillary!….”

Posted: 14th, February 2008 | In: Anorak TV, Hillary Clinton, Politicians, Race For The White House | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Barack Obama Presses The Wrong Button Six Times: Kaboom

nuclear explosion Barack Obama Presses The Wrong Button Six Times: KaboomBARACK Obama for President. Barack Obama for contol of The Button. Barack Obama whoops. In the LA Times:

Barack Obama angered fellow Democrats in the Illinois Senate when he voted to strip millions of dollars from a child welfare office on Chicago’s West Side. But Obama had a ready explanation: He goofed.

“I was not aware that I had voted no,” he said that day in June 2002, asking that the record be changed to reflect that he “intended to vote yes.”

That was not the only misfire for the former civil rights attorney first elected to the state Senate in 1996. During his eight years in state office, Obama cast more than 4,000 votes. Of those, according to transcripts of the proceedings in Springfield, he hit the wrong button at least six times.

Mr President. Do we bomb France? Press “red” for “Yes” and black for “No”…

Posted: 14th, February 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Barack Obama, Politicians, Race For The White House | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


2,218 Men Fancy Cherie Blair

THE Croydonian notes: “THE Scotsman has been surveying Caledonians on their attitudes to lurve and so forth, and it has come up with some very, very alarming figures:

Which celebrity most closely resembles your ideal man?

Gordon Brown – I like powerful men – 1.8%

“Which celebrity most closely resembles your ideal woman?”

Cherie Blair – powerful women do it for me – 0.9%

Based on the current population, that suggests that a truly alarming 2,218 chaps have the hots for La Booth, and a scarcely less credible 4,764 lassies are pining for the Dour One.

Stand up and make yourselves known to the group…

Posted: 14th, February 2008 | In: Gordon Brown, Politicians, The Blairs, Twitterings | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Tata To Ken Livingstone:

ken Tata To Ken Livingstone: KEN Livingstone says: “Most vehicles that will be charged £25, in vehicle excise duty band G, are high-priced models.

“Those who buy them can afford to choose from pretty much the whole of the mainstream car market but have chosen to buy one of the most polluting vehicles.

“By making these changes to the congestion charging scheme we are encouraging people to take into account the impact of their choice of new car on the environment and the planet.”

Ken wants you to pay £25 – and then pay for parking – to drive into his congestison zone.

Note the miserabilist’s mention of money and those who can afford the bigger gas guzzling cars. Well it turns out that these instruments of the uber rich are:

- Ford Galaxy Ghia
- Honda Accord 06 Tourer
- Hyundai Santa Fe
- Renault Espace Dynamique
- Peugeot 407
- Vauxhall Vectra
- Vauxhall Zafira
- Volkswagen Passat
- Volkswagen Golf
- Volvo V70

In short, family cars.

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 13th, February 2008 | In: Global Warming, Politicians | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Government Brings Us The Tamper Proof CV

DIZZY notes: “Apparently the Government wants to introduce YADB (geek name Yet Another Database) that will track every child through school and to retirement with all the details of how you scored on tests and whether you got expelled etc etc.”

The most hilarious thing is that they say it will mean you have a ‘tamper proof CV’. If they even manage to get such a project off the ground I give it less than a year of go-live before someone has made themselves a straight-A student.

It never ceases to amaze me how Government ministers are complete idiots when it comes to technology. Rule number one. If a human being writes a system, a human being can crack it. The Germans thought Enigma was uncrackable too, look where that got them.

But the computer says you’re dead, sir…

Posted: 13th, February 2008 | In: Politicians, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Alas, Poor David Miliband Has Lost His Head

miliband head Alas, Poor David Miliband Has Lost His HeadAlas poor David Miliband.

From the London Paper…

Posted: 13th, February 2008 | In: Politicians | Comment (1) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Ron Paul And the Paulbots Lose

RON Paul:

Paulbots seem to have lost there verve; the most importantest Republican in the history of the world!!1!1!12!!1!@! drew no better than 6 percent, and took less than 1,000 votes in D.C. And somewhere, the ghost of Ayn Rand sheds a salty tear.

When does he give it up?

Posted: 13th, February 2008 | In: Politicians, Race For The White House, Ron Paul, Twitterings | Comments (17) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Carla Bruni Is France’s Cheeky Girl

carla bruni cheeky Carla Bruni Is  Frances Cheeky GirlSAYS Carla Bruni of Nicolas Sarkozy in L’Express: “It seems that with him, nothing bad can happen.

Says the Telegraph: “The new first lady of France, the former model and singer Carla Bruni, said that her first meeting with President Nicolas Sarkozy was love at first sight and she expects the marriage to last a lifetime.”

Says Bruni: “With him, an anxiousness that I’ve felt since childhood disappears. So I am the first lady until the end of my husband’s mandate and his wife until death.”

The French have Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni. We the British have Lembit Opik and a Cheeky Girl.

Romanian Gabriela, who forms one half of Cheeky Girls pop duo alongside her twin Monica, and who dates Lembit Opik, MP, tells GMTV: “Everything is true – all I can say is it was love at first sight.”

France 1 – England nil points… 

Posted: 13th, February 2008 | In: Broadsheets, Politicians | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Candidates At Google: Barack Obama

Posted: 13th, February 2008 | In: Anorak TV, Barack Obama, Politicians, Race For The White House, Twitterings | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Michael Bloomberg On Global Warming And Terrorism

global warming Michael Bloomberg On Global Warming And TerrorismNEW YORK mayor Michael Bloomberg – that’s his name on all those electronic money market news terminals – is speaking on global warming.

Says he: “Terrorists kill people. Weapons of mass destruction have the potential to kill an enormous amount of people, but global warming in the long term has the potential to kill everybody.”

Scared? Terrified? Terrified of the terrorists? Terrified of the temperature?

The clincher to a brilliant argument: “No scientist knows for sure what’s going to happen, but you don’t want to wait to find out.”

Terrified yet?

Update: The risk of a fatal heatwave in the UK within ten years is high, but overall global warming may mean fewer deaths due to temperature, a report says.

A seriously hot summer between now and 2017 could claim more than 6,000 lives, the Department of Health report warns.

Posted: 12th, February 2008 | In: Anorak In New York, Global Warming, Politicians | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Barack Obama, Ron Paul And Che

che obama Barack Obama, Ron Paul And CheON the Ron Paul website: “Fox 26 in Houston gets some footage of the opening of Barack Obama’s Houston offices. And look at what’s up there on the wall.”

It’s “Che Guevara, Fidel Castro’s old comrade in Communist terror”.

And: “The stakes could not be higher in the battle between Ron Paul and Barack Obama for the hearts and minds of America’s young people, as this picture shows.”

Well , anything’s worth a shot. Even breakfast with Chelsea Clinton

Posted: 12th, February 2008 | In: Barack Obama, Politicians, Race For The White House, Ron Paul | Comments (24) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Boris Johnson Finger Puppet

THE Boris Johnson finger puppet. No strings…

Posted: 12th, February 2008 | In: Anorak TV, Boris Watch, Politicians | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Muslims Behave Like The Royal Family

victoria albert Muslims Behave Like The Royal Family GOVERNMENT Minister Phil Woolas makes noise about Muslims marrying first cousins and, as he claims, leading to increased rates of birth defects.

Says Shobna Gulati, on Matthew Wright’s TV show: “Why has he singled them out and not the Royal Family.”

Prince Edward was not on the show to offer a reply…

Posted: 12th, February 2008 | In: Immigration, Overheard On The TV And Radio, Politicians, TV & Radio | Comments (6) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Rudy Giuliani Needs $60billion To Win

DAVID Frum on Rudy Giuliani for president.

No living elected official has solved more public problems with more outstanding success than Rudy Giuliani. If there is one person Americans associate with competence in government, it is Rudy. As the primary race has warmed up, some have tried to diminish the mayor’s accomplishments. But in fact, the closer you look, the more amazing they become. (emphasis added).

Ali notes: In the Repulican primaries, Rudy won 1 delegate. That one delegate cost him $50 million dollars.

With his donors’ money, Giuliani captured a single national delegate, in Nevada. At that rate, it would have taken close to $60 billion in spending to capture the 1,191 delegates needed to win the nomination.

Can he do it? No he can’t…

Posted: 12th, February 2008 | In: Politicians, Race For The White House, Rudy Giuliani | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Hi Handsome, Fancy Breakfast With Chelsea Clinton?

chelsea clinton Hi Handsome, Fancy Breakfast With Chelsea Clinton?PSST! Wanna have breakfast with Chelsea Clinton?

How do you like your eggs?

Jason Rae is 21. He is having breakfast with Chelsea. But hold on. Chelsea is not being pimped out.

Rae is a student at a university in Milwaukee.

Rae is also a Democratic National Committee member from Wisconsin, a super delegate, one of the 796 free agents who can back any candidate in the race for the Democratic nomination, as abc news reports.

So would you like breakfast with Chelsea, Rae? You would. So Rae and Chelsea Clinton are breaking bread. They are talking about “electability” and “mobilizing young people” to get involved in politics. And Rae’s eyes. He has beautiful eyes.

They talk about Chelsea’s mum, Hillary. Does Rea like her? Chelsea hopes so. Does Rae like Chelsea’s dad? Rae has been called on his mobile phone by Bill Clinton. Bill wants to know what kind of young man Rae is.

Rae’s also had a call from Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry, who was pushing for him to endorse Barack Obama. But Kerry didn’t offer breakfast. Not even a cup of coffee. Kerry is a cheap date.

Chelsea is having breakfast. Does she like the way Rae drinks coffee? Rae is kind of cute…

Posted: 11th, February 2008 | In: Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Politicians, Race For The White House | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Is Barack Obama A God?

“HE inspires me. I can’t even say. … He gives me so much hope,” Malabuyo said. “It makes me feel like something will actually change. So I’m speechless. I love him. I love everything he stands for. I love everything that he can bring to this country. And we just need to get him there.”

Via

Posted: 11th, February 2008 | In: Barack Obama, Politicians, Twitterings | Comments (4) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Gordon Brown Jinx: Manchester United

GORDON Brown was at Manchester United at the weekend? United lost 1-2 to Manchester City.

It was the first time United have lost at home to City in 34 years.

Every international football and rugby match Brown has attended since he has become leader has ended in defeat for England or Scotland.

David Beckham met with Gordon Brown and was then dropped from the England team.

Is Gordon Brown cursed?

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 11th, February 2008 | In: Back pages, Gordon Brown, Politicians | Comments (3) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


John McCain’s Clinton Joke, Allegedly

mccain funny joke John McCains Clinton Joke, AllegedlyJOHN McCain is funny, too, or so it is claimed – although no tape of his skit is said to exist.

The joke it is reported that he made:

“Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?
Because her father is Janet Reno.”

janet reno.thumbnail John McCains Clinton Joke, AllegedlyReno was the first and to date only female Attorney General of the United States (1993–2001). She was nominated by President Bill Clinton.

Is McCain Funny? We love our funny politicians. But Huckabee is funnier. Huckabee is William Hague

Posted: 11th, February 2008 | In: Politicians, Race For The White House | Comments (2) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


Iain Dale Is ‘Not Being Islamophobic’

rowanwilliams2 Iain Dale Is Not Being Islamophobic SAYS Tory blogger Iain Dale: “I don’t want any form of Sharia Law in this country at all. Ever. That is not being Islamaphobic. It’s my opinion and it’s one shared by 99 per cent of the British people, as well as, I suspect, by the majority of British Muslims.”

Is this right? Ninety-nine percent are opposed to any form of Sharia Law? But not British Muslims, who are a statistic apart.

Before the statisitics and the suspicions Dale writes: “Why is it that we cannot talk about issues of religion and race without people immediately jumping on a politically correct bandwagon?”

Not politically correct, then, rather one of the 99 per cent of Britons he says agree with him…

Source

Posted: 10th, February 2008 | In: Politicians, War On Terror | Comment | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0


The Ron Paul Revolution Will Not Be Reimbursed

ron paul desk The Ron Paul Revolution Will Not Be ReimbursedRON Paul. President Ron Paul. You gave him your money. Well, some of you did.

And he gives you a message:

Whoa! What a year this has been. And what achievements we have had. If I may quote Trotsky of all people, this Revolution is permanent. It will not end at the Republican convention. It will not end in November. It will not end until we have won the great battle on which we have embarked. Not because of me, but because of you. Millions of Americans — and friends in many other countries — have dedicated themselves to the principles of liberty: to free enterprise, limited government, sound money, no income tax, and peace. We will not falter so long as there is one restriction on our persons, our property, our civil liberties. How much I owe you. I can never possibly repay your generous donations, hard work, whole-hearted dedication and love of freedom. How blessed I am to be associated with you. Carol, of course, sends her love as well.

Oh, go on, Ron. Have a go. We’ll take cash:

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted: 10th, February 2008 | In: Politicians, Ron Paul | Comments (34) | Follow the Comments on our RSS feed:RSS 2.0