Politicans and world leaders making news and in the news, and spouting hot air
THE Earth is no longer going to drown under the weight of melted poles according to the Daily Mail (although, Poles are still obviously a massive threat to the very fabric of some imagined Britishness), which is wonderful news for us all! We can now drive our cars and leave our TVs on standby without fear of making our gill-less children die in a human-imposed watery grave!
THE Moro Islamic Liberation Front are upbeat. The BBC reports on MILF:
The Philippine government has reached a framework peace agreement with the country’s largest Muslim rebel group, President Benigno Aquino says. The deal follows long negotiations with the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) to end a 40-year conflict that has cost more than 120,000 lives. It provides for a new autonomous region in the south, where Muslims are a majority in a mainly Catholic country. The MILF is “very happy” with the deal, a spokesman was quoted as saying.
YOU can forgive Nick Clegg a lot. But then he goes and does the thing that make your cringe: he meets Bono in his London office. If only Nick could be like Bono, saying things to an obsequious audience without fear of having to explain how the great scheme for fairness and peace would work. The journalist / fan / politician nods along. The onderschept popstar prates on. Nick nods and laughs at all the jokes. How Nick would love to be a pop star, a grandees of the platters, living in a stately home or tax haven and talking about distributing wealth and helping the poor . If only he could be like Bono, a stinking rich tax massager who need never explain, just inspire.
The simply Red Singer Mick Hucknell once told us:.
“I’ve said to Tony, ‘You should have waited on Iraq’. He listens.”
Tony Blair was the ultimate pop politico. He had wanted to be a guitarist. He recalls a meeting with President Bill Clinton.
“I like him a lot. We met Chuck Berry and it was a mutual case of ‘Wow!’ Never mind about meeting world leaders, this was a REAL superstar. Meeting Chuck Berry was a great moment for both of us.”
Between 1997 and 2001, Tony Blair’s list of guests at Chequers went:
Dame Judi Dench
Sir Richard Branson
When Nick Clegg says he wants equality and fairness, he’s an out of touch posh boy. When Bono says it, the politician listens in awe. Poor Nick. Someone give him a guitar…
BAD Lip Syncing does the Presidential Debate:
IN 5 years the Greek economy has shrunk 23%. Some Greeks believe the country is in the thrall of Germany. So. When German Chancellor Angela Merkel arrived in Athens today, demonstrators shouted slogans, dressed as German World War II soldiers with Nazi swastika armbands, called her a Nazi, compared her to Hitler, and as Merkel’s private plane landed at Eleftherios Venizelos airport the Greek military band struck up that German national anthem (“Germany, Germany above everything”). The past is never far away…
A protestor holds a banner with the picture of the German Chancellor Angela Merkel that reads "wanted" and "war compensations" during a protest in Athens on Tuesday Oct. 9, 2012. German Chancellor Angela Merkel makes her first visit to Greece since the eurozone crisis began here three years ago. Her five-hour stop is seen by the government as a historic boost for the country's future in Europe's shared currency, but by protesters as a harbinger of more austerity and hardship. More than 7,000 police will be on hand, cordoning off parks and other sections of central Athens, to keep demonstrators away from the German leader who is due to arrive today in the Greek capital for talks with conservative Prime Minister Antonis Samaras. . (AP Photo/Lefteris Pitarakis)
HOW do you get a job on the US House of Representatives science committee, like Todd Akin, he of the rape-activated Portcullis anti-birth womb, and Paul Broun, a medial doctor and expert in Bible science? Broun, who occupies a seat in Georgia, says evolution and big bang theory are “lies straight from the pit hell”. Broun was speaking “as a scientist”.
POLITICIANS are all slimy swine and no question, but over in Australia, they’re showing us all exactly we should hand them a smackdown. PM Julia Gillard (who once said “screw you!” to US Congress, so she’s not a woman to be trifled with) went to town on an MP called Peter Slipper.
Now, Peter Slipper is an ordained priest, has been accused of sexually harassing a gay man and is thought to have been rather ‘creative’ with his expenses. However, he’s now at the centre of a storm where he’s had his arse royally handed to him… AND THERE’S A VIDEO OF IT! Slipper referred to another MP as ‘an ignorant bitch’, amongst other comments.
WHEN the war with Iran comes, it will be won from the air. The US and her allies will have jets, bombers and space; the Iranians will have photoshop and a way to entertain the Heavens that Busby Berkeley would have loved, had he been a racist nutter with an itchy beard:
1. The yellows, whites and greens run into the blues, greys and reds without mixing. Mums faced with piles of dirty laundry get the message. These colours don’t run:
CONTROVERSIAL film director Joel Gilbert – a longstanding critic of Barak Obama – complained recently that his ‘alternative biography’ of the President, ‘Dreams From My Real Father’, had been deliberately ignored by the mainstream media (see video below).
So, with little surprise, the Vatican is acting like primitive, brutal arsehats over the Pope’s butler who has been accused of stealing some of Benny the Pontiff’s letters.
“We demand measures to ameliorate the toll that excessive drinking takes on society, including 1) Long-term outright ban on the sale of alcohol in outlets including supermarkets and garages; 2) Ban on the presentation and sale of alcohol alongside groceries; 3) Ban on home deliveries of alcohol, advertising on discounted alcohol and advertising of alcohol on social networking sites; 4) Introduction of a 9pm watershed for alcohol advertising on TV; 5) Ending of VAT refunds on alcohol sold below cost.”
BARACK Obama went on the David Letterman show. So Did David Cameron. The Prime Minister came away looking like a man imbued with all the gravitas or a welk and the sharpness of a blunt tool:
I APPLAUD the Sun’s attempt to educate the Prime Minister David Cameron on British history after his lamentable, red-faced performance on David Letterman’s chat show. The paper prints 20 facts that may be news to the Old Etonian. Alas, we have only to get to fact 2 to spot a howler. ‘Roman Emperor Julius Caesar didn’t conquer Britain…’ it starts. JC was never emperor, not even king. At best he was dictator for life. The first Roman emperor was the later Octavian aka Augustus.
WHEN quizzed about Britain on the David Letterman show, David Cameron was apparently unable to give the meaning of the words Magna Carta. We say “apparently” because Boris Johnson, who might of course have his own agenda here, suggested that the Prime Minister knew perfectly well what it meant, but feigned ignorance in order to give the impression that he is just a regular, down-to-earth kinda guy.
Really? Why, yes. I read it on The Onion.
WHEN Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu,showed the UN and world what the Iranian nuclear bomb would look like, we realised that armageddon might be funny: